Vocabulary lesson

For all you newbies, here are some cycling expressions you might hear...and what they mean (courtesy of a woman in our bike club). ;)

"I'm out of shape"
Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and I haven't missed a day since
the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than
you wash your underwear. My body fat percentage is lower than your
mortgage rate.

"I'm not into competition"
Translation: I will attack you until you collapse into the gutter,
babbling and whimpering as if you'rve been watching Celebrity Poker.
I will win the town-line sprint even if I have to hook you into
oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first even if I have to grab
your seat post, spray an energy drink into your eyes or ask you how
to program my DVD player.

"I am on my beater bike today"
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium
blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared.
It weighs less than a popcorn fart and costs more than a divorce.

"It's not that hilly"
Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be
careful on the steeper sections or you'll fall over----backwards. Oh,
you have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

"You're doing great honey"
Translation: Yo, lardo, I'd like to get home before midnight. This is
what you get for spendng the winter watching football and gobbling
sausages. I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 when I had the chance.

"This is a no drop ride"
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing. It's for the
search-and-rescue dogs.

"It's not that far"
Translation: Yes, it is.

Rolling On Floor Laughing....

Made my freakin day!!!


karen
roflmao:D

Those are Hilarious!! especially coz that is the Perfect explanation of my 1 and only attempt to ride with a local bike club!!!

Thanks for making my day even MORE perfect!!!

Those are so hilarious!!

These are excellent !

There's also my personal fave:

"Aw, come on, it'll be fun"
Translation: Assuming you survive. :D

My fav: "It weighs less than a popcorn fart and costs more than a divorce."

Popcorn fart just makes me giggle.....

I've read this before but it makes me choke with laughter every time!

my husband SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO got into trouble the first time i read this (i.e. "you're doing great, honey")

oh geez, how many of us are guilty of some of these.... (raising hand)

http://QB.smugmug.com/photos/49063421-Ti.gif Too funny!

Yes, this one always makes me laugh. And I *really am* out of shape. And i mean it. ;)

Here, we've got:

"Nobody will be dropped."
Translation: Have an article of clothing handy for the search dogs to sniff.

Solution to perennial problem of "social" rides meaning different things to different people: find out who else has the same complaint (generally by persisting in going on rides) and ride with them. Before **too** long, that ride will get to be known as "the one where they really don't drop you." Usually, anyway....

Those are great! Thanks, I need to know this stuff since I'm a newbie...LOL!

Wow, wonderful (laughing)
Oh my gosh- these are great!
Thanks for sharing!
I've sure enjoyed them!

LOL good to know! i just started cycling myself so i'll have to watch out for these. all though, i'm still trying to figure out if bonking on hill means that someone is going to hit me! :p LOL

~roxanne

Hmmm... I know someone who has used a few of those terms with me. I think I should be careful! Thanks - made my afternoon!:D:D:D

Those are hysterical! I miss my bike...