People are rude!!

The other week my husband and I went for a ride. And on the way back we decided to go grocery shopping. Well I really feel uncomfortable in my bike shorts and jersey since I think I look like a stuffed sausage in my shorts. When I'm riding I don't mind because well everyone know what bikers wear when they are out on the road. Well this young "simple" (i'm putting that nicely) kept looking and me and making me feel more uncomfortable. I would have to say that it was because of my clothes. It pissed me off that when I got to the next isle I said pretty loud " I was out biking and even though I may not look that good in my clothes right now at least I'm out doing something about it!!". I told my husband and he wanted to know who it was and was going to go confront them. I said no because even though it made me feel uncomfortable I knew that they weren't worth anymore of my time or energy. I believe in karma and know that they will too feel someday like I felt.

People are rude.

When people stare, I tend to tell myself they're admiring that I had the gumption to be out there doing something. Otherwise, I don't acknowledge it. To acknowledge or to let yourself be bothered my it gives them power they otherwise wouldn't have over you.

Some days I do better than others - but that's what I try for anyway.

I don't live in a biking friendly community unfortunately. But I'm at the age where I couldn't care less what people think of me,especially strangers. I'm not real happy with my particular community for reasons I won't go into on this forum. I have been "burned" real bad by a pair of "friends" and I care even less what people think. I'm way fitter than they are. It's surprising how a good "mad" can contribute to a workout! Someday when I have the privilege of leaving here these people will no longer be in my thoughts. Don't let the bad ones take up space in your brain without paying rent.

I had some young chunky thing give me that same look in a restaurant where a bunch of us like to go for beers and dinner after our Tues. night rides, last week. I thought it was kinda nervy of her to give me that look, when she was probably about half my age and just as pudgy as I am. She could stand to pedal a few miles in unflattering spandex, herself. *chuckle* ;)

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Originally Posted by Blueberry

When people stare, I tend to tell myself they're admiring that I had the gumption to be out there doing something. Otherwise, I don't acknowledge it. To acknowledge or to let yourself be bothered by it gives them power they otherwise wouldn't have over you.

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Amen and amen.

You don't KNOW what they are thinking. They might be wondering what activity you are dressed for or what is different about what you are wearing that makes you buy special clothes just for biking, or maybe even what brand it is in case they decide they want to try cycling! Lots of things to be thinking about when you see an outfitted cyclist and you aren't accustomed to it. Give them and yourself the benefit of the doubt.

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Originally Posted by Blueberry

To acknowledge or to let yourself be bothered my it gives them power they otherwise wouldn't have over you.

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Yep.
+1

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say maybe she thought it looked interesting and she was trying to get some idea of where you got it from by staring. Not likely, but you can always try to imagine that was what she was thinking.

She was probably being rude, but as someone who loves to sit and people watch (and stare, sometimes, too probably), maybe she was just curious. I always wear sunglasses when I sit and people watch so at least they can't TELL I'm staring at them.
Of course, I don't do it in a grocery store or someplace weird like that. Usually it's when we're traveling and I'm sitting stationary for a long time.

Maybe she thought you were an alien in your crazy bike gear??? :p

But yeah, most likely she was just being a turd. :mad:

Zoom-Zoom you make me laugh!!!!

My favorite little ditty is:
You wouldn't worry what people think of you
If you knew they seldom do.

Don't give other people space in your brain. It is so much more fun to feel superior, or at least confident that you are living your own life without apology.

marni

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Originally Posted by marni

Don't give other people space in your brain. It is so much more fun to feel super

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Wise advice:) Thank you for putting it so succinctly.

I've never noticed anyone staring at me when I am in my bike clothing inside a store, and I am age 58 and weigh too much. It might be because compared to others I look athletic and fit. I count my blessings that I am not the female in her 20s, weight aroung 600 lbs, in an oversize electric scooter, pulling her mother, weight around 400 lbs, in a wheelchair, the electric scooter pulling the wheel chair because neither of the females has mobility. Or I am not one of many females wearing pajama bottoms and flip flops, with a belly hanging out and over the top of the pj bottoms. Or I am not one of the females with every inch of exposed skin covered in tatoos. With such a medley of in-your-face females, my bike clothing doesn't even merit a brief glance.

I felt a little self conscious at first when I went into stores with my gear on, but now I think it is fun...and if I do get stares, I think of myself as a middle-age advocate for bicycling! I like to imagine that people are thinking, "wow, if that chubby old granny can do it, so can I!" :p:p

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Originally Posted by SueDavis

The other week my husband and I went for a ride. And on the way back we decided to go grocery shopping. Well I really feel uncomfortable in my bike shorts and jersey since I think I look like a stuffed sausage in my shorts. When I'm riding I don't mind because well everyone know what bikers wear when they are out on the road. Well this young "simple" (i'm putting that nicely) kept looking and me and making me feel more uncomfortable. I would have to say that it was because of my clothes. It pissed me off that when I got to the next isle I said pretty loud " I was out biking and even though I may not look that good in my clothes right now at least I'm out doing something about it!!". I told my husband and he wanted to know who it was and was going to go confront them. I said no because even though it made me feel uncomfortable I knew that they weren't worth anymore of my time or energy. I believe in karma and know that they will too feel someday like I felt.

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Congratulations on getting out and riding, I'm sure you'll see a difference soon.

I'm not sure what a "simple" is, but you're right just to let it go. Like others have said, not worth wasting your mind and emotions on, especially when it's so hard to tell what they were thinking, and to be honest the look might have been just the same if you were the most willowy fittest woman that s/he had ever seen.

I often drop small girl at nursery in my lycra, if I'm planning a ride straight after. I normally pop a little skirt or a cycling dress over the top though, having been slightly disconcerted in the past by the spooky silence of fifteen 4-year olds as they watched my star-strewn rear walking out of the room. Anyway, the little Terry skirts are small enough to scrunch into a jersey pocket.

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Originally Posted by hebe

...the spooky silence of fifteen 4-year olds as they watched my star-strewn rear walking out of the room...

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Priceless! :D

I've never felt uncomfortable in cycling shorts in public, but I have been in places where I thought it might be more appropriate to be a little more covered up, mostly in Europe.
I have noticed a phenomena where it's mostly women who stare. I chalk it up to wishing they could do what I do, jealousy, etc. I notice this more as I get older, where other women my age stare a lot. It happened at the B and B we were at this past weekend, in the Berkshires. On the second morning, we went to breakfast in our bike clothes, because we were on a time schedule. We got stares like crazy. I chalk this up to the fact that most of these people were from that large city about 200 miles south of here, and they aren't used to seeing hordes of lycra clad riders of all ages, shapes, and sizes, all of the time, like we do.

I have to admit, I stare because I'm curious. That is, I try not to stare, but when I see someone wearing something a little out of the ordinary I get very curious, and start wondering what they're wearing, why, where they're from, what activity they're doing. But honest, I try to be discreet, especially if I get the feeling that they don't want to attract attention. It's mostly a "wow, someone different. Cool!" kind of reaction.

I get stared at a lot, since I commute by bike and run a lot of errands on my way home wearing bike gear, or hop on the metro if I'm loaded down. I'm happy with the way I look in bike gear and don't really mind attention, but sometimes I'll feel that someone, usually a middle-aged guy, is giving me disapproving looks, or obviously checking me up and down in a rude way. If I'm up to it I respond by staring blatantly back. ;)

Best done with a mild and pleasant look on your face, but that's hard if you're annoyed.

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Originally Posted by Muirenn

??? That's what I think every time you mention that you are pudgy.

On what planet are you pudgy? You're lean! You have absolutely no tummy, and look very fit overall.

Just saying.

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I'm pushing 30% body fat and weigh 153 at <5'4". I could stand to drop at least 20#s. It kills me on the uphills when I ride with slimmer folks without so much excess dragging them down the hill.

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Originally Posted by Muirenn

But you look very slender to me. :)

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'Cause I only post the flattering photos of myself...they are often not an accurate representation of reality. :o

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Originally Posted by Muirenn

But you look very slender to me. :)

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You look very slender to me too, zoom-zoom. But, Muirenn... I hate to say this, but you look sort of short and stubby, and snubnosed, and four-legged... ;)

<== look who's talking)

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Originally Posted by Muirenn

You have stars on your rear? I don't have stars...I want stars too!

:D

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Eeek! Sneeches! :p

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Originally Posted by Muirenn

You have stars on your rear? I don't have stars...I want stars too!

:D

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:D They are Maloja shorts, link is to Minx-girl as TE don't seem to carry this brand. I have red ones and blue ones.

Honestly I'm more uncomfortable in my hi-viz jersey than I am in my Lycra shorts. The whole point of the thing is to draw people's eyes to me. It's been a huge comfort in the last couple of years that for whatever reason (OSHA regs?? New dyeing techniques??) most outdoor workers, mostly men, now wear hi-viz T-shirts on the job and keep them on when they shop and eat. I still stand out, but I'm usually not the only one in hi-viz in the store.

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Originally Posted by hebe

:D They are Maloja shorts, link is to Minx-girl as TE don't seem to carry this brand. I have red ones and blue ones.

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I like those fancy britches!!! Stars on your rear- too fun!!! :D

When I first read the stars on the rear comment, I was wondering if it was a colloquial English saying I was unfamiliar with. :D Cute shorts!

I remember once I must have been looking at someone for too long because she sharply asked me "What are YOU looking at?" I apologized and said " I didn't realize I was staring, I was just noticing how pretty you are..." I was so embarrassed. (We really never know what people are thinking. After she understood I meant no harm, she apologized to me. No harm meant...

On the flip side, as a 55 year old who isn't so buff these days, I couldn't care less when people are looking at me in biking gear. Great freedom in that alone.

I always say to myself that impossible is nothing -> http://yeeti.com/23797 I have this poster in my bedroom. And I think about it when people stare at me and make me feel uncomfortable. Because one day I will stare at them and make them feel uncomfortable instead :D

There is a car commercial out now with a little girl who claims her father is an alien. There are a series of shots from the girl's perspective and we can see how she thinks that. One of the shots she says"he's an alien, just look at him..." and he clumps into and out of the shot all kitted out in cycling gear; spikey helmet, goggles, form fitting spandex with almost skeletal outlines in high vis stripes, and he really does look alien. Maybe the person staring at you was seeing the same thing...

I went shopping at Trader Joe's with my helmet on and my helmet light still blinking (I forgot I'd turned it on).

Nobody stared at me, but it was in Brooklyn, which probably explains the lack of interest.

It was also TJs. I bet WalMart would be different.

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Originally Posted by zoom-zoom

I'm pushing 30% body fat and weigh 153 at <5'4". I could stand to drop at least 20#s. It kills me on the uphills when I ride with slimmer folks without so much excess dragging them down the hill.

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I am rather miffed by the fact that when I'm a little heavier than I'd like, I ride better. Dang-it. My calendar looked at the big 5-0 birthday. laughed uproariously and said to me "I don't care how little you eat or how much you ride, you're going to weigh over 150 forever! hahahahahah"
I actually think it has more to do with the fact that I'm probably not going to have any more periods, and metabolism slows down. But I am so tired of working so hard and having to watch what I eat!

Whenever my bus kids see me out in public in my bike clothes they always say hello. I'm not sure how they even recognize me since mostly they just see the back of my head. And my eyes in the mirror when I'm giving them the stink eye for bad behavior.