Touring as a Tribute to my Father

About two weeks ago my dad died. It has been a hard couple of weeks. Now every time I get on my bike I start to cry. Mind you, my dad and my riding are not connected in some special way. However, I think the reason I cry is because riding is a contemplative practice for me. Riding is a time when I am in my body and quiet. It is both active and reflective. It is a time when I can ruminate. Recently, my ruminations have been about my dad and my upcoming tour across the country and the connections between the two.

My partner and I have been planning to ride our bicycles from Bedford, MA to El Segundo CA – We will travel east to west, across Adventure Cycling’s Northern Tier bicycle route, then to the Lewis and Clark trail, and then down the pacific coast. We will ride more in one summer than I do most years. It is a rather daunting trip and it is odd that in the midst of grieving, I am planning to undertake something so challenging for me. Yet, I think this is a good thing. It reminds me of things my father said to me, especially late in his life, about living for the day and following your dreams while you can. I think he felt he didn’t do enough of that. So, in a funny way taking this trip is a tribute to my father.

(((hirakukibou))). I'm so sorry about your dad and the tough time you're having. But your tour sounds like a wonderful tribute. I hope it helps heal your grief.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. A few years ago a friend of ours lost her dad around the same time of year and she started a memorial century in his honor. This year she has started a scholarship fund in her dad's name that this ride is raising money towards. Perhaps you can someday join us for the Allegrina 100. I did it last year and it was my favorite century of all the ones I've done. It's set up to be a group ride with a series of legs, so people come and go, but we mostly all stick together, then have a party at the end in honor of fathers gone too soon.

Best of luck on your epic ride. I hope it is a really positive experience for you as you grieve.

I am so sorry for your loss. And I cannot think of a better gift to yourself in the midst of grief. Nothing heals like being under the great open sky, watching the changing scenes go by as you pedal. Your father is there, in all of it. Big hugs to you.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father.

This ride is very significant for you-- ride with heart, strength and best of memories.

Hira, I lost a friend suddenly last week. It was shocking and I couldn't even accept it for days. I can't imagine how it is when it's your parent. I really feel for you. It's bad when you can't even look forward to that which usually makes you feel better but hopefully, time and activity will heal you. I'll be thinking peaceful thoughts of you and wishing you the best this summer.

Hi Hira! That sounds like an incredible tribute. I am sorry that you lost someone dear to you.

I recently had a man stay with me who does about 8,000 miles per summer fully loaded. He does it to raise awareness for Blue Planet Network and told me every year that he rides himself into shape and just takes it easy the first week. Have you checked out Warm Showers? I bet there are some Team E ladies that would host you both on the route. I know I would!

I am riding the northern tier this summer but it's a supported ride for the American Lung Association and it's West to East. There are a few riders on our trip doing it to honor someone they lost recently... and I just think it's incredible and wonderful that they are doing it for them.

Good luck to you!

((((((hirakukibou))))))

Touring is wonderful for healing. May you find peace on the road.

(((Hirakukibou)))

I am very sorry for your loss, and your tour is an awesome idea. May it bring healing, peace, and comfort to you.

May you have beautiful sunsets and sweet tailwinds on your journey. Encourage you to keep a journal, private or public - your choice. I promise to smile and laugh today in honor of you and your Dad.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. You've been planning your tour for a long time, and it will now be a healing journey as well as all the other things you wanted it to be.

I'm so sorry for your loss. After I lost my father last summer, I felt very inspired to race. It was that same feeling of wanting to really live life, to get out of my comfort zone and push myself; to be more like my father.

I haven't toured, but I have driven across country and I experienced a feeling of existing in a very strange and beautiful "in the moment" place which I'm not really able to describe, but you might understand what I mean. I hope this trip gives you comfort.

hirakukibou- please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your father. I love that you're still planning to do your tour, and that it will be done with your father in mind. I'm certain he would have loved to take such an amazing adventure, and you'll be making him proud.
I lost my father at a young age, and when I decided to become active, every race I've ever run (or ridden) has been with him on my shoulder. Your father will be along for the ride with you the whole way.
Take care of yourself, and take it easy. Big hugs to you!

hirakukibou, I also am very sorry for your loss. I think this trip that you have planned is a wonderful way to help heal & help you through the grieving process.

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing my father in 2005 was the very hardest thing I've ever gone through, and the darkest time in my life. I couldn't even get on my bike for about 9 months after he died, and even when I did, I couldn't ride on the road initially. He died in a car accident in a tiny Honda Civic he'd driven for over 10 years, and I felt so vulnerable on my bike after that. I would only ride my mountain bike on trails for a long while. I finally did start riding on the road again, but like you, I cried quite a bit as I logged miles -- I too think and contemplate when I ride, but it was actually cathartic and helped in my long grieving process, I think.

A couple of years later, a man in my bike club died -- also in a car accident -- and he had been almost like a father figure to me, so that brought the tears and grieving back as I pedaled along.

I salute you in your resolve to complete your planned tour and am sure your father would be very proud. It will do you good, I just know it.

Thanks everyone for your kind and supportive words. I do feel that his spirit will be at my back.

Now we just have got get my DH well (He has been sick with shingles for 3 weeks :eek:) and finish mapping out the route, figure out the ten million details (like the health proxies and pack all the gear up. I am most worried about DH. The next two weeks will tell. . . we are hoping to leave in three weeks.

I will post the route when I am done -- would love to see any willing TE'ers along the way!

Cheers,
Hira

hirakukibou: My condolences for your loss. The idea of riding as a tribute is very beautiful.