another bike date... he neglected to mention...

So the whole online thing has suddenly taken off for me... I had SIX dates last week :eek: Two were repeats (2nd dates! Yeah... I'm no longer the "one date wonder"!!!!)

So one guy I met on Thursday... we had already agreed to ride Sat but wanted to meet BEFORE the ride for coffee... so we meet and spend several hours talking... everything's going well... we talk bikes, components, gear etc... then he casually throws out there that he did Ironman a few years ago :eek: :eek: :eek: OMG! Now I'm scared... really, really scared... he's gonna KILL me on the bike! :( I make him promise not to drop me, and he agrees... (the last guy who promised dropped me anyway! :mad: the one before that I rode 9mph with so I DIDN'T drop him!)

So we meet Sat and had decided to do about 30 miles... ahem... yeah, well that turned into 47... :D This guy was SO cool... he did NOT drop me, and yes, he could have... but we stayed together, chatted, he told me I'm a sandbagger cause I rode faster than I claimed (a little self preservation on my part telling him I was slow... ya know... just in case!) and generally had a good ride...

so we SAG at 30 miles in and then start the last 20... into a STRONG headwind... gasp... NOW I'm truly slow! The wind was stinkin' HOWLING! LOL...

just before we rode back to where we'd parked we caught a red light... I told him he could "put another notch in his seatpost, cause he wore my butt out!" :eek: :D First time I heard him truly belly laugh!

No idea if he's interested in anything more than friendship and a ride buddy, but dang it was fun!

Tonight is date #3 with another guy too... :)

So how's everyone else doing???

Ah, bikerchick, you're giving me hope! He sounds like a cool guy, and you're cool for going at it with all you've got.

I've signed back up with match.com, and now can't access their website for love or money. I've spent untold hours talking with people in India, trying to resolve the computer problem. Don't know what the solution will be, but trying not to take it as a message from above that I'm not meant to date! :rolleyes: So how are you meeting these guys? Somewhere in a post on here, the point was made about competitiveness on biking dates. I went on one biking date yeeeeears ago. I remember just riding as hard as I could, dropping my date. This was a bad move, date wise! :p It did make it clear to me that I didn't really like this guy, other than the "looking at you from across the room" kind of liking!

Good luck to you--keep us posted on your adventures!

Lise

bikerchick68 "So how's everyone else doing???"

still single. so ask iron-man guy if he has a sister ;) :cool: :rolleyes:

Hey... I bet he was really hyped to find a lady who cycles!

It's hard for a man to find a women who is into cycling... and being athletic!

AND... Most men's ego's don't like it when women can kick their butts... he was probably very happy to "lag" behind some for you!

Keep giving us the date reports... very cool to hear about it!

Sounds really good. Looking forward to hearing your update.

KSH sez "It's hard for a man to find a women who is into cycling... and being athletic!"

I dunno if it's the national tendency to have so much "screen time" tv, computer, or because I'm hecka old and many of my peers are more or less sedentary, but it's simply hard to find active people dare I say "our" age.

It's not that "the gal o' my dreams" would have to ride but what I've found is that more or less sedentary folk can go quickly from "I would always encourage you to ride" to "what? you wanna ride again? you did that last month".

So in a perfect world the next DP of Trek would know this "comes with the territory", not to be crass but "ya want the legs? I gotta get outside. hopefully, with you".

Wondering if the other single TE gals find that to be true? I think whichever team you bat for it's an issue ;-)

One things certain I'm truly thankful to have a great supportive family. I have a wonderful diverse group of friends who share my values, politics, love of food, art, my quirky sense of humor. They don't ride, heck I can barely get them to walk but they'll gladly join in the recovery meal after. And I have a fabulous community of friends IRL and online who ride and they've got the quirky sense of humor and those other things down pat.

And of course my dog loves me, and that trumps all. So things could be far worse ;-)

"Keep giving us the date reports... very cool to hear about it!"

Thought we were going to get reviews? " I give so-and-so on match.com 5 chain rings". Or is that just tooo tacky? :D

Way to go bikerchick! And if he has a brother send him my way....

I am not doing so well on match (or cycling singles for that matter). Let's see, the one guy I started to click with gave me a feeling he was still married. Yep - do I have a magnet that attracts unavailable guys?? The next guy I talked to on the phone then he changes his profile to a bitter harsh thang and hides it the next day. WTH? My old boyfriend wants to get back together again and I'm thinking maybe that's the way to go. I do have feelings for him and he's a great friend. I've just been so darn hesitant to give my heart to someone else since the love of my life walked out last march. I never would have thought it would take this long to get over him. Just when I think I'm doing fine, he pops back into my head/heart. I'm thinking maybe I just shouldn't be dating at all still. It's really not a priority for me anyway although I do get lonely sometimes. Maybe if I keep rambling I'll figure this out, huh? Anyway, thanks for listening - I've been meaning to get that off my chest for a bit, lol.

Wow...this thread is appropriate! I just had my first real "date" in 8 years with a guy that I met through cyclingsingles.com! We met at a local microbrew and it was one of those evenings where you look at your watch and think WOW...where did the last 4 hours go! He even sent me an email the next day to thank me for the great conversation and said I must look "stunning in lycra" (That comment earned him BIG brownie points!)...so yes I think there will be a second date there! In the meantime, a single guy friend and I have decided to go at this dating thing with a vengance! We are going to help each other set up profiles on Match.com and even try speed dating! I'll keep you posted................... :D

2nd date is official...he called today, we're going to dinner on Friday!

Lise- I'm using Match.com as well... I tried cyclingsingles.com but was only get winks from guys in Timbuktu... how can you "date" someone who lives 300 miles away???

KSH- you're probably right... I have no hope of kicking this guys butt tho :D He said this was only his second ride since June... he's been off the bike. When he said that I was pedaling my azz off and wondering how he rides when he's in shape then! :eek: :p

Trek- man, you're right on... doesn't matter which team... someone is either active and happy with ya or not and annoyed with you for being active! Long rides are time consuming... and an inactive partner may be annoyed that you're "prioritizing" biking and rides over them. It's tough to find that perfect harmony of physical fitness, mental and physical attraction and activity level... if it wasn't, heck, I wouldn't be posting about all my nutty dates... I'd be posting about my SO!

mtbdarby... first of all, as to men who are online when married... JERKS! UGH! I have a real issue with that... I've had lots of guys contact me who are "currently separated"... I have made it a point to acknowledge every person who contacts me and thank them for the interest... the separated guys get the "thank you and when you are DIVORCED let me know..." Yeah, I'm SO not into dating a "tweener"... As to dating your ex... why do you want to? Is it because you really want to be in a relationship with him again, or because you're lonely? Have the reasons for the initial break up been resolved and changed for the better? No need to answer here, just ask yourself that stuff OK? Who knows... maybe things will work out... just be sure why you want back in... I'm with ya... dating is TOUGH!

Allez girl... OMG... HUGE brownie points!!! Stunning in lycra... wow... now for me... I'm always more worried that the guys will be STUNNED by how I look in lycra... :eek: No way to hide any flaws with bike shorts on now is there? LOL... I figure if they like me in bike gear they're gonna LOVE how I look in a dress! :D Have fun at dinner... hope it's GREAT!

bikerchick68 says "Trek- man, you're right on... doesn't matter which team... someone is either active and happy with ya or not and annoyed with you for being active!"

I dunno about that. I think there are a lot of established happy couples who have divergent interests. I think if the relationship's established, long term and happy and you like different things; you discover cycling and he'd rather knit, it can be fine.

I don't think you have to be attached at the hip, far from it. It's most important that both people have common values.

"Long rides are time consuming... and an inactive partner may be annoyed that you're "prioritizing" biking and rides over them."

You got that right, we're all so busy these days that time can be a biggie. and to a non-rider "you ride how far? :eek: " can be a deal-breaker :cool:

Bikerchick, I have asked myself those questions. In the three months since I broke up with him I simply miss him - miss talking to him, miss biking with him. He has come to understand that it's best if we don't spend all our time together too so I think we stand a better chance this go round. Of course, I could be moving in the next month for my job so it's all up in the air right now. I'm not that lonely that I want to go out with someone just to go out with someone. I enjoy my company too much :D The introvert side of me likes my space and I'm thinking he finally gets that.

Now, if I could get over the cat smell in his house....

..from my vantage point...I'll admit it, I am married...so these are great to read. Bikerchick, I think he may be a keeper. No dropping? That's (biker) love :D Well, at least infatuation.

And Trek...I have a sister-in-law who's athletic...does that count?? Living IN Wi...

LOL that VenusdeVelo writes "And Trek...I have a sister-in-law who's athletic...does that count?? Living IN Wi..."

Thanks, Venus, that's real flattering that you'd even consider introducing me to your family but I'm trying to keep things local ;)

No long distance relationships for me. Bikeless in WI is my sister, she's Norwegian (and married) and now is in WI for a year, I'm in California. Confused yet?

I knew it'd happen, this board is soooo helpfull and supportive, we share tips and and tricks, the odd spare pair of bike shorts or shoes that don't fit so it was only a matter of time till members start reccomending their relatives to the single gals ;-)

and mtbdarby, Fabreeze works wonders on pet smell

Trek, I am a die hard Fabreeze user already! Good schtuf!

yeah, but what do you do about all the pet hair? Mae's a short haired dog, and gets brushed often, still I could make another dog with all the hair :eek:

Spazzdog taught me a trick that helps some, still a constant battle

Ah, dog hair. My evil nemisis! The first key is almost daily brushing and vacuuming. And two lint brushes :D

My elkhound has an undercoat so she's hanging on to her fur right now. The worst time of year is the summer when she blows her coat. This year we had a week of hot weather, then a cold snap, etc so she didn't blow it, just lost it over a couple of months. What a mess! I'd take any tips I can. My border collie doesn't have an undercoat and looses it pretty consistant all year long.

Long haired dogs are purdy but they're messy. I can't cook a thing without finding dog hair in the food. That's my precursor when serving guests a meal - the dog hair is free!

squeegies (sp?).

I keep a squeegie on a long handle. I have wall to wall carpeting. Till I get it torn out and go hardwood or pergo or sumthin, that'll make it easier but till then....squeegie the doggie fur into sorta like coke lines of doggie fur (not that I know what those are like) and lift it right up.

Faster and more fur than the vac.

Trek-with-bike-covered-in-yellow-dog-fur-420

mtbdarby: Gotta love those double coated dogs! Chloe gets combed with a shed comb regularly. I can get enough fur off her to knit another corgi! My other corgi, Rikki, used to let me vacuum her - made it so much easier. Chloe hates the vacuum monster.

coke lines of dog hair! bwahahahhahaha! OMG too funny...

well... I've heard from the cyclist but ONLY about ride related stuff... no romantic interest that I can tell whatsoever... BUT the other second date guy I've already had a 3rd date with and have another planned next week... it's a Festivus Miracle! :D

OK, now ***I*** have a date! From match.com. A guy who is seriously into fitness, works for a fitness/wellness company, but had back surgery 10 weeks ago and is working on rebuilding muscle...so we're going out for pizza. It's been bitterly cold here anyway. A walk might be OK, but no riding for me, nor, it sounds like, for him right now. Who knows. We had a nice talk for the first time last night...I worry that he'll think I'm not athletic enough, not fit enough, not skinny enough...and if he does, why would I want to date him anyways? Mooooore will be revealed, as a friend says. :rolleyes: L.

bikerchick68 and "second date guy I've already had a 3rd date with..."

3rd date? too cool. If you two were lesbians there'd be a u-haul by now (I can say that folks) or would that be a bob trailer? :cool: or maybe this trailer.....

Trek, you crack me up. I can't even sit on the carpet without running my hand over the carpet and making the "coke line" of dog hair as you put it.

As for the vacuum, Xena (named after the warrior princess but a chicken at heart) is terrified of the vacuum cleaner. My ex used to chase her around the house tormenting her as a pup. Zeus just thinks I'm playing and starts barking and pawing at me. Goobers. I use the shedding comb on her in the summer and I can stuff pillows with the hair that girl loses.

But alas, we were talking dates....

Bikerchick, way to go on date #3! I have a coffee date tomorrow so wish me well. This guy is in limbo. Just moved back to WI from CA cuz his mom has cancer and he's the only single kid. So he's living at home helping her out and looking for a job. He's athletic but not necessarily a "biker". But I will keep trying.

Lise, score on the first date! Let us know how it goes. I hear you on the bitter cold up here - it's crazy (although it gives us good reason to cuddle up you know!).

Trek - uhaul - I'm still laughing....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mtbdarby

Lise, score on the first date! Let us know how it goes. I hear you on the bitter cold up here - it's crazy (although it gives us good reason to cuddle up you know!).

---

Dar, I'm going to take that as "Lise, good going on getting a date" rather than the way I first read it, which was, "Lise, get some action on the first date"! :eek: Although...it is really cold out... :o

Trek, I hear ya. I played for the girls' team for years, now giving the guys a shot. I didn't actually move in with a girlfriend on the 2nd date, but mentally, well, "you had me from hello" says it all! :p

Lise writes "Trek, I hear ya. I played for the girls' team for years, now giving the guys a shot. I didn't actually move in with a girlfriend on the 2nd date, but mentally, well...."

Lise, you go girl. I like men, some of my best friends are men, men are cool, men're wonderful. I'm as capable as any gal of appreciating them aestheticly as in "Gorgeous George is hot :D " or "look at the legs on that guy" and their personality as in our Team Testosterone guys here. As for dateing 'em, nah, not gonna happen.

Although it would give me more options on a Saturday night ;-)

Although I'm not a "gold star lesbian" (translation for those who bat for the major leagues-"never slept with a man") it was so long ago it doesn't count. But I'm kinda hard wired this way I feel, or for the more spiritual amoung us g** made me this way.

Try off road? sure
Give a fixed gear a try? deffinately
Gu instead of Hammergel? sure, why not
Give guys a shot? nope
And where is the jersey that says "sorry guys, I'm gay"?

But I agree whichever team you bat for you gotta get to know the person really really well first.

Lise, sorry about that wording which left room for interpretation. I meant way to go on getting that first date! Now, if you choose a little action, I will not judge :p Heck, I don't even kiss anyone on the first date :eek:

Let me run this by you all... I've tried a few online dating sites, and lately Match.com. "Met" a few men but once I got to know them better, I started to shy away. Most I find aren't all that truthful or honest in their profiles. About 2 months I started corresponding with this one gentleman via email. In my emails I made it very clear a partner should be athletic/outdoorsy etc. He said he was, that he loved cycling, hiking etc. Note his profile also said he was 6'1" etc.

Well we talked by phone and finally agreed to meet. I went to his house. When I got to the door, a man opened it and I almost said "where's Scott? Is he here?" Turned out Scott was not all that honest with me. The least of which he was only 5'5" tall (I'm 5'9"), very overweight, in poor health etc. He was very sweet but clearly very lonely, desperate and needy. I politely let him know I didn't think he was a match for me but if he needed someone to talk with, he could call. Long story short, his health has gotten worse. Recently, due to serious diabetes, he had his leg amputated. He calls, wants to talk and wants me to visit. I feel so guilty but I hardly know him and frankly can't take this on in my life right now. I am at a loss what to do. Part of me says it's not my problem but the other part says I should be a good samaritan and go visit Scott.

Anyway, I am so off these dating websites. Just too superficial. I find people tend not to be truthful (come on - don't they realize I can see the photo is 20 years old?!?!?). I would like to meet someone special but I'm thinking it will happen will it happens, naturally, through cycling or some of my other outdoor activities.

OK... Lise... SCORE on that date! Woot! :eek: :D hehehehe... hey a chick can dream or being more like "Samantha" from Sex and the City!

mtbdarby... cool! I wanna hear all about your date too! I can't be the only one hearing bizarre stuff out there... comeon gang, fess up...

bcipam- OMG! This is the horror story people talk about with online dating... I've been very, very lucky and every single person so far has been who they said they were... (some forgot to mention Ironman... but yeah, he rides!)

I would NOT get involved with this person. You're right, you don't know him, and he has issues that are way beyond you, unless you are a professional counselor...

I would let him know that you are empathic but that he should seek some help professionally. I would feel horrible for him too, but there are so many red flags there that I'd be running the other way. Sorry to hear you had a crappy experience... :(

Well that was the worse experience (poor Scott) but not the only one. I think it may be my demographic - I'm older (54) - I think guys my age have alot of baggage (otherwise they would be connected) and I have some too.

I am fortunate to have lots of guy friends who fill the void at least for now. I think I'll just stick with the friend thing, get off online dating. Good luck to you. Hope it works out. Always look at it this way - might not be a romantic match but ou get to find another cycling buddy!

There's a whole lotta dating going on out there. That's really good to hear & I wish you all the best. If ever my situation changes, you're giving me hope. Only thing is...you're all in the States & I'm in Australia. Well, the world is a golfball, isn't it?.
As long as there is love, respect etc in your life I don't think the "team" matters. Not everyone has the ability to love, so finding it is all that matters.
Goodluck to each & every one of you.

Bcipam : How disillusioning for you. I guess he's trying to attach, but is he being fair? Sounds like you'd be better off politely withdrawing from that situation. He's looking for someone to look after him, not an equal relationship. He wasn't honest to begin with, but you can be straight (no pun intended) & honest with him by saying "sorry, but no". You'll hopefully only need to say it once, even though it won't be easy. Goodluck & let us know how it goes.

bikerchick68 writes "OK... Lise... SCORE on that date! Woot! :eek: :D "

go Lise go, we're living through you hehehehe...play safe of course ;-)

"I can't be the only one hearing bizarre stuff out there... comeon gang, fess up..."

C, a gal I dated (we're friends now) before we met she showed up for a date with a gal ..... who turned out to be a guy in drag. :eek:

The opposite is not likely to happen to any of you gals.

bcipam, I feel sorry for the guy, but with that ammount of deviation from the truth I'd hesitate to get involved at all. Maybe he can get help from a local Diabetes Association.

And as for your feeling like withdrawing from the whole online thing and hanging out with your frends, sometimes that's best. I always find that when I stop looking, when I'm not looking, that's when things happen anyway. And meanwhile, you have fun with your friends.

many online are honest, but it's amazing what you can get away with online. Like I'm really a 68 year old male Arkansas pig farmer and Nascar fan ;) :rolleyes: just kidding, really :)

If I can chime in here with my thoughts as to online dating...

bcipam - no disrespect meant here at all but under NO circumstances should you be going to his place to meet him/pick him up for the first time. Nor should he come to your place to pick you up the first time. No matter how many emails / phone calls you've shared back & forth. No matter how great he sounds on paper. Seriously. And it's also best as women, not to give them our phone number. If you move from the emailing online stuff onto having an actual phone call, then most men will give you their number for you to call them (yes, they can get your phone number from call display or *69 (in Canada)).

Rule #1 of online dating - make sure you meet in a public place the first time. Without wanting to scare you off, sadly there are a lot of whackos out there, especially through the semi-anonymous online scene. Be safe. Tell a friend where you and the person are meeting so that they know where to turn to if they need to.

I don't mean to sound paranoid and really, I'm not. Just be safe. Online can be a fun experience. Best of luck out there (i'm out there too)

thanks carback for the safety tip. I agree...." If you move from the emailing online stuff onto having an actual phone call, then most men will give you their number for you to call them (yes, they can get your phone number from call display or *69 (in Canada))."

Use your cell phone number because of reverse directory one can key in the number, get your address. Can't do that with the cell phone number.

If you call from your land line your number may appear in caller id even if you block it (*67 if you have selective blocking, or just dial normaly if you have complete blocking) it's not gauranteed that they don't get your number.

*69, call return lets you call back the last person who called you, but the number does not even appear on their bill, in CA anyway. So they don't get your number.

Every day I get calls from folks who have to change their number because of romance gone awry. Don't be one of them :cool:

And fess up gals, do you Google your dates? Seems to be the growing preliminary before the coffee date step in the 20-30 sumthin' group.

OMG. Poor bcipam! :eek: No! That's what I say to Scott on your behalf. I am baffled as to why anyone would deliberately misrepresent themself online. I'm going to be so charmed by your personality that I'll overlook the fact that you're a liar? My pictures were all taken within the past year. I am 45, no joke. I did some online dating last year, ended up seeing one guy for 7 months. There are some odd folks out there, and some very interesting ones. People I'd never meet otherwise. Even if I don't want to date most of them! I tried meeting women on line, too...giving both teams an equal shot...nothing. Well, not exactly nothing, but nothing I was interested in. Aaaaand the beat goes on.

Believe me, if there's any kissing on the first date, it'll be on the back of my hand. That would be charming. I don't have the physical or spiritual space to date a whole lot, and I get sooooo very attached once it becomes physical. So I'm going to take it slowly with whomever...and if he's not up for that, then he's not the right guy, anyways.

Great safety tips. After leaving an abusive and probably crazy ex (a woman), I am very, very careful. I don't even like to say my last name for awhile. We meet in a public place, during the day, for the first time. I use my cell phone. I trust my instincts, which are highly tuned, given my experiences. If there's any creepy factor, it's over. Politely. But over.

Thanks for the sisterly cyberhugs and pats on the back! And yes! I will let you know how it goes!

BTW, at least 8" of snow in Chgo today. I'm digging out the x-c skis tomorrow! (If I'll ever just get offline and go to bed... :p ) L.

I haven't done on-line dating, but I am aware that crazy's come in both genders...so do nice folk. All the advice given about being safe I 100% reinforce. We do have to be careful, but overall most people are OK. :) Trust your instincts. Thank god for our womenly intuition. I know it's saved me more than once in my life.

From another perspective:

I met my sweetie 8 years ago as a result of me placing a personals ad (just prior to the whole internet, online dating thing). We hit it off and have been in a pink fluffy world ever since.
We've even evolved on two wheels together and now train seriously every spare moment we can.
I guess we fall into Trek's U-Haul, second date category (but are resisting the Merging Thing at every opportunity!), but we gals just can't help ourselves, once we subconsciously detect similar groupset lust!

Just wanted to post from the other point of view and say for every loon out there, there's a real gem waiting to be snapped up!

Encouragement to the match.commers out there:
my neighbors (both avid cyclists and mtb-ers) met and married thru match .com 4 years ago - they were in their early 30s, and a very good friend in her late 50s just married her sweetie met thru match.com - so it can happen!

Nearly two years ago I posted an ad on Yahoo personals and meet several guys, none I was interested in nor wished to even attempt a second date with. I had decided to pull my ad at the end of the month and well my luck changed. One quiet evening someone read my ad and we chatted via IM for several hours. This continued through the week on a nightly basis and we finally agreed to meet face to face, on Feburary 14. We shared dinner, conversation and then I took a risk I know I shouldn't have, I went for a walk in the park with him - don't panic he did not murder, rape or touch me but in hindsight it probably was not the the safest thing to do on a first date. One date led to second one and a third one (yet another hike in a park with my large dog by my side - he passed the canine test!) and our relationship continues to evolve to this day. I could not be happier. There is someone out there for everyone. One may simply have to turn over a lot of stones and look in some unfamiliar places to find them but you have to look and take the chance that something good will come your way.

I hear good stories about online dating all the time. I just haven't had those experiences. Not certain why, but there is this very strange group of men that are attracted to me. I get alot of responses but from men I am not interested in. Would like to know why they keep contacting me. Maybe they believe me to be "desperate" thus "easy." Couldn't be farther from the truth. I have learned and enjoy the fact I don't need a man in my life - well, a romantic relationship with a man. I love men and seek their company and enjoy being around them and are mostly what I have for friends. But I am at that age do I really want to live someone else's life (ie the man's) and not my own? My own is not all that bad. I see too many women once they get connected with a guy, give up their own life (and their kids, pets and family) to be with the guy and live his life (ie do what he wants). My current roommate (a guy) is seriously dating a woman who not only has given up all her prior social contacts but her son as well (OK he's 17 but still needs a mom). I think her to be of weak constitution and lacking good moral fiber. My roommate could care cause he has a steady lay.

As for the physical connection - I cautious everyone, especially the younger women, to not have sex all that soon once entering a relationship. Why? once the physical connection is made, the mental connections seem to jump out the window. Sex is a powerful drug and will cloud many a mind - both male and female. I think that's one reason so many marriages end in failure now a days. Folks have sex too soon. They get married for all the wrong reasons and when the sex frenzy fades (and it will), it's too late to discover there is nothing else.

If the relationship was meant to be - he and/she will wait for sex. Can't beat developing a solid friendship beforehand, making sure this potential life partner matches up morally, spiriturally and then physically.

And I know when it is time, sometime will occur and if it does not occur it was not meant to be. It maybe my fate in life to remain stubbornly independant! ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bcipam

when the sex frenzy fades (and it will),

---

hasn't happened here yet... 25 years and it just keeps getting better.

~I.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bcipam

As for the physical connection - I cautious everyone, especially the younger women, to not have sex all that soon once entering a relationship. Why? once the physical connection is made, the mental connections seem to jump out the window. Sex is a powerful drug and will cloud many a mind - both male and female. I think that's one reason so many marriages end in failure now a days. Folks have sex too soon. They get married for all the wrong reasons and when the sex frenzy fades (and it will), it's too late to discover there is nothing else.

If the relationship was meant to be - he and/she will wait for sex. Can't beat developing a solid friendship beforehand, making sure this potential life partner matches up morally, spiriturally and then physically.

---

No kidding! I have a friend who contends that there's a hormone released the first (and only the first) time a couple has sex. The effects last about three months. Thus so many break-ups at 3-4 months. It's certainly been true for me in the past, although I'm so stubborn that I dragged the relationships on for years! :o I've done my "crazy in love" time, and it never ended well. The high was seldom worth the lows. That said, I have a 27 year old who keeps writing me...? Dude? You got it that I'm 45? I'm enjoying the cyber attention, anyway. :D

L.