Another reason I'm so passionate about cycling

I have a friend who I have known since 1993. He is overweight. Not morbidly obese, but obese nonetheless. He has been this way ever since I met him.

Since I have known him he has never exercised other than extremely slow walks with his dog. A few years ago he was diagnosed with diabetes. For years I have suggested that he buy a bicycle and ride around the neighborhood with it, gradually building up to longer rides. I offered to ride with him at his pace and distance. He never took my advice.

Within the last two years or so he told me that the doctor said he has a weak heart. Last night I ran into a family member of his. She told me he has only 50% lung capacity and is always out of breath. I have noticed that he has had a productive cough for the past couple of weeks. She also told me he is the last one alive on that side of the family.

Another thing that I have noticed over the years is that he is always complaining that he is cold. Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day with record high temperatures in the 70s, but he was still complaining that it was "freezing". He does not smoke, although he used to many years ago when he was younger. He is 65 now.

Now for those of you who have wondered why I am so gung ho on hill climbing and hard efforts, there's why. I refuse to let myself deteriorate like so many others have over the years. I have lost two close friends to self-induced health problems, and I really don't want to lose another, although at this point I guess I'll just have to prepare for the worst.

For those who are interested, I received some excellent advice from the posters in this thread over on RBR.

That is sad. It is hard to convince someone to exercise if they do not want to; they will always find an excuse. With a friend of mine, I went as far as giving him a bicycle. It has not been used.

In the other forum you mentioned he wants a three wheeler like one you have. How about picking him up and taking him out for a ride? He could try yours and you can ride another one of your bikes. Maybe he will really like it...

I am going to let him ride mine to see if he likes it. If he does, I will talk to a friend of mine at the LBS around the corner from him. They get used bikes on consignment, and maybe they could get him hooked up with a good used trike.

L2C,

Obviously you care for your friend and that's why you encourage him. 65 is not too old to change and sometimes there is just one thing that triggers a turnabout for people. Others who care about someone often are the little nagging voice in the background that helps a person come to that conclusion on their own.

So long is your urging is now and again and it's not taken the form of every time you see him you start in on him, then it's a sign of caring and not hounding. Not everyone is good enough friends or has the courage to continue to gently urge/nudge a person in a healthier direction. Bravo for being "that person."

I don't think you are strange for wanting to challenge yourself aggressivley to keep fit. People can have worse destructive habits like drinking, drugs, gambling etc for hobby's. So if a person gets passionate about living a healthy lifestyle, good for them!

Crankin can speak to the following better than I can, but I'd consider the possibility of some underlying depression. Even if he enjoys riding your trike, if you get him one, he might not ride it. It might be more effective to engage him, having him ride with you on a regular basis. Exercise helps with depression, but if you are depressed, everything in your body says "no".

I have made it a point not to pester him or sound like I'm nagging, so I only bring it up occasionally in friendly conversation. Every time I mention it, he says "I should get a bike".

I probably would have quit mentioning it years ago, but his worsening health and the fact that he has memory lapses makes me think it's probably a good idea to gently bring it up now and then.

I thought it would be a good idea to give another good reason for my cycling enthusiasm after what happened in my San Francisco steep climb thread. A couple posters in there wondered if all I did was take long solo rides and climb hills, which makes me think I'm giving people in here the wrong impression of me. I do have other interests, but I never thought it necessary to bring them up in a cycling forum.

Depression is a definite possibility. It can be so overwhelming that even moderate exercise won't make you feel better. I was riding around last night thinking about the friend in my OP and another friend who is morbidly obese and won't ride right now because "it's too cold". I am worried about losing both friends to an early death due to health problems. Unlike most rides, this one didn't make me feel better as time went on, so I went home.

Living near some hills would sure help, as maybe intense exercise helps the mood better than moderate exercise.

Well, long term health issues and facing our own mortality is a pretty common cause of depression. There's a huge connection between physical health and mental health, as we all know :).
Change is really hard and you can't force it; most people have a lot of cognitive "distortions" about the way things are in their lives. While I think it's great to offer the use of your 3 wheeler to gently move things along, I wouldn't expect that there is going to be a miraculous change in attitude. There's a lot more at stake here, too. He most likely is depressed, but if he is really operating with 50% lung capacity and a "weak heart," (what exactly does that mean? congestive heart failure, blockages?) I would want to know if it's OK for him to even attempt to ride the trike. It sounds like he is a candidate for a medically supervised weight loss/cardiac rehab program that includes nutrition, counseling, and exercise. Most major medical centers have this, as do some community hospitals. There's only so much friends can do and it sounds like his health issues are serious.
Frankly, I have 2 friends that I've known for years; both have told me point blank they have given up. They just expect to gain weight each year as they age and one, especially, feels she "can't" do anything, no time, nothing works. One used to be extremely active and sits and talks about what she used to do. She had knee surgery last summer and is back to tennis, but she basically talks about what she "can't" do. She hides the belly fat pretty well, but she carries herself like an old lady. She's my age. My other friend has always been a bit heavy and never been an exerciser. She's really just hung it up, as far as healthy living. Her husband had a 99% blockage in one of his arteries, had a stent put in, lost some weight and now is bigger than ever; he is huge. This was 2 years after my DH (who is fit and thin) went through his cardiac issues, so it's not like they don't know how important exercise is. Her DH can barely walk without breathing hard.
I gave up.

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Originally Posted by luv2climb

I thought it would be a good idea to give another good reason for my cycling enthusiasm after what happened in my San Francisco steep climb thread. A couple posters in there wondered if all I did was take long solo rides and climb hills, which makes me think I'm giving people in here the wrong impression of me. I do have other interests, but I never thought it necessary to bring them up in a cycling forum.

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This did not cross my mind in that thread. I do lots of solo rides, and we all have other interests. Unfortunately, I have no hills nearby, living, as I do, in "Flatlandia."

Oh I'm not expecting an instant attitude and lifestyle change. I'm just hoping he may get interested in exercising more, especially if he notices an improvement in his health and attitude towards life. It doesn't even have to be cycling. It could be something as simple as more walking.

"Weak heart" is his wording. I think he did have congestive heart failure because he was hospitalized a while back and has mentioned having "fluid in the lungs".

I would make sure it was okay with his doctor too. That's why I'm approaching this with extreme caution.

He has two new neighbors who are over 500 pounds, at least. I've seen one of them walking around and she is constantly out of breath. She even sounds breathess while speaking. It is scary to think that my two overweight friends could end up like this woman if things get out of hand.

This is tough. My father died at age 63, he had congestive heart failure. He had his first heart attack in his early 40s. Over time he developed extensive heart damage and his doctors were surprised he lived as long as he did. At a point exercise did not help and he couldn't exercise. He was probably on the slightly high end of normal weight, but still in the normal range. We can't assume your friend's health problems are due to his weight and lack of exercise. Though of course they could be, or could be a factor, but I would be careful about assigning blame. We also don't know if exercise is the right thing for him at this point in his life.

I have no idea what is the right thing to do. Ask him how ill he is and what the doctor recommends? Say that you care about him and don't want to lose him?

Instead of exercise or suggesting it, go for a walk with him to talk.

He probably knows you are a good cyclist and that probably intimidates and depresses him even more.

I would weave in a walk, even with a bike and then go for a super short ride. Have a coffee afterwards.

He needs to talk with someone more than anything else at this time. Key in his favourite interests to talk about.

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Originally Posted by goldfinch

We also don't know if exercise is the right thing for him at this point in his life.

I have no idea what is the right thing to do. Ask him how ill he is and what the doctor recommends? Say that you care about him and don't want to lose him?

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That is my concern also. The last thing I want to do is cause him more harm by overworking a (possibly) damaged heart.

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

Instead of exercise or suggesting it, go for a walk with him to talk.

He probably knows you are a good cyclist and that probably intimidates and depresses him even more.

I would weave in a walk, even with a bike and then go for a super short ride. Have a coffee afterwards.

He needs to talk with someone more than anything else at this time. Key in his favourite interests to talk about.

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I'll see if I can contact him tonight. Due to his increasing intolerance to cold temperatures, I may only be able to get him outside if he needs to walk his dog. Even if temps are in the 60s like they are now. We'll probably end up talking indoors instead, which is fine.

He definitely knows about my cycling ability, because he is the one who drove me to San Francisco to do those climbs last week. His plan was to visit family while I rode.

He is also the one who took me down there in 1993 and bet me $10 that I couldn't climb 22nd St, which is a 31.5% grade (he lost!).

He's a kind and supportive person when he's better, isn't he?

He just needs to see the goodness in himself.

I would be very careful about the intensity level of exercise for your friend. If he has CHF he will not be able to tolerate intense exercise.

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

He's a kind and supportive person when he's better, isn't he?

He just needs to see the goodness in himself.

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Yes he is. I agree with you 110%!

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Originally Posted by jusdooit

I would be very careful about the intensity level of exercise for your friend. If he has CHF he will not be able to tolerate intense exercise.

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That's what I was thinking, which is why I posed that question in the thread on RBR asking if I should even bother attempting to get him to exercise at all. My intentions all along have been to get him to do gentle exercise that his doctors approve of, then if he does improve to increase the intensity slightly but still within doctor's guidelines, of course.

I can't help at all but wanted to say Good for You for trying.

I understand your concern and frustration. Just visited the sib in-laws (is that a word?) this week-end. They are killing themselves with their diets and lack of exercise. We've tried everything we know, but they aren't interested. They think we're just a couple of exercise/healthy diet freaks! (And I've never once served them tofu:eek:)

They are in their early 60's. We're afraid they won't be around nearly as long as they would have if they had just made healthier lifestyle changes. Interestingly too, its hard to socialize with them too. Our activities always include "moving" not "sitting", and eating together is really hard. Just can't remember ever having a plate of country gravy for breakfast (cuz they already cleaned up all the biscuits!!!!!). I'm more the old fashion oatmeal or non-fat Greek yogurt with fruit for breakfast kinda girl. Even when camping!

They bought themselves a couple of Walmart bikes but didn't ride them. They don't walk because their dog is too geriatric (just another excuse).

The health problems are rolling in: Diabetes, enlarged liver, heart murmur, etc. etc. It's just amazing what damage you can do (or prevent).

Sorry, I'm rambling on, just so frustrated with them!!!

This thread is really demoralizing for me, as most of the people you guys are talking about seem really old. I thought you would say they are about 75+. But they are just a couple of years older than me :eek:. I really don't understand the mindset. My cycling group is full of people 45+, the oldest just turned 90. He still rides on the bike path. Some of the guys in their late 60s/early 70s ride an incredible amount of miles and are very good climbers. Now, a fair share of these people have had some health issues, but they always come back. I guess the difference is that they have been active for a long time, as I have. The activities may have changed over the years, but we're all still moving.
I guess this is why my normal friends think I'm nuts.

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Originally Posted by Crankin

I guess this is why my normal friends think I'm nuts.

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That's funnny... You just validated their perceptions by referring to your non cycling friends as "normal" (i.e., we, in this forum are outside the norm!). I'm considered eccentric in my family, because of the cycling and running. And most of my friends think I'm nuts, too, as they make up various excuses not to work out.

Well, I don't preach to people who don't exercise at my level, and I try to keep most of it to myself, my DH, or our close friends who we ride and do other sports with. It's just when others ask me what I did over the weekend, etc, I try to be careful about saying how far I rode, etc, or go too much into it, and focus on the telling about the scenery or other aspects of where I went. I do plenty of other stuff, and another big part of my life is going out to restaurants and cooking. I eat healthy, but I'm no ascetic.
I may have validated their perceptions, but my closest friends who don't live this lifestyle just sort of accept it. I try to not make it an issue, but it has changed my social life. I've stopped doing activities at my synagogue, as it seems like all the people I know there are, well, not aging well, to put it nicely. I don't want to go to classes, lectures, or social activities on Sundays; I want to be on my bike or skis.

I've had 3 good responses to how cycling improves your health. A cousin visited and looked at my bikes and saw how good I looked (and felt) and went home and bought a bike. She says her husband will get one in the Spring.

My neighbor told me of a friend of hers who had looked at my first comfort hybrid when I was selling it, and was a person who could barely walk a block. She hasn't bought a bike but was so inspired by how I could get fit in my 50's that she started walking and can now walk 3 miles.

Now the same neighbor (who is quite overweight) and hasn't done any exercise since she had kids 11 years ago, has decided to get a bike and asks me all these questions about sizing and what to buy.

Most people (non-riders) just think I'm kind of nuts. But I just don't want to hang out with people who just sit around and eat and talk. I like being with people who do something. And I've met lots of really nice cyclists.