My day....

I am having the first night since my husband has been away (business trip) That I am totally doing what I want. He has been gone a week but when he left all my wonderful friends wanted me for dinner and we had a girls night at my house and my sister and her 2 girls came and stayed the weekend. And since last Tuesday since my hubby has been away I have only cooked dinner for myself once. I have awesome friends! And I love to cook but it is nice to have a break. Though I did give a friend a cooking lesson on friday. Today I had an accupunture treatment (very relaxing) had a nice lunch at home (cashew cream of broccoli and Jalapeno bread + a very yummy peach). I had a nice volley ball game with my usual Tuesday vb crew. Took a lavender bubble bath, made a yummy dinner and now I am watching the 1st season (over) of "True Blood" ( a guilty pleasure of mine). Oh I also went to our bakery today and bought some of my fav cookies for dessert.
So I was sitting here thinking of things and I had a thought. What are some things my mom didn't tell me about. You know certain things to expect.
So as an adult as you discover things do you think to yourself "Why didn't my mom tell me about that one"?
Mine was "why didn't she tell me about the hair around my nipple's might have to be plucked (or shaved ) some day? I am just saying! Is that rude to say? I figure I am around adult women here and this won't be a shock? I am a little upset she didn't warn me.
And that guys REALLY don't get us at all!

You day sounded like fun - activity, relaxation, good food, and treats!

As for things I wish Mom had taught me... better $ex ed (not so much that it matters now, but it was real important a few years ago:rolleyes:). I figured out how babies go conceived in H.S. biology class. According to Mom, you went to college, got married, and had children. Now I knew that kids were wedding party favors but HOW they got conceived, that's different. I think if she had told me, it would have made me less interested. The thing a guy pees with goes inside you? :eek::eek::eek:

Enough of this.

My neighbors invited me over for pizza sunday evening. No salad, just pizza, washed down with a bottle of wine :D. It was a great picnic, as we decided that it was nicer outside than inside. Meanwhile their son (age 5) found a large beetle and was seeing what happened when he put it in the wading pool. Bug swims, sort of.

My mother was very secretive about a lot of things. It took a long time to figure out that sex was healthy and normal, not something shameful that had to be avoided. I know why she didn't tell me things, but some things I didn't find out until after her death. Learning her secrets made things make more sense. I won't share them here, but our mother's have histories, love, and pain that we can't imagine. So sometimes, when they seem crazy, it's from that.

and why in addition the the hairy nipples thing was I never warned about growing a five o:clock shadow on a daily basis, even though at this point it is white although it is much heavier now that I am on Tamoxifen and estrogen deprived. God bless the razor in the shower I always say.

marni

It is interesting how sex was the one thing I was not taught correctly either. Maybe it is the generation but that doesn't make since. My mom was a mom of the 60's. I remember thinking shaving was so cool.....what the heck?

I guess I look at it slightly differently. My mother wasn't perfect, she taught me an awful lot, loved me with all her heart, and we talked all the time. But no way could she teach me everything I might ever need to know. We led very different lives in different generations, and we really didn't need the same information.
I have been a good mother to my daughters and raised them well- but no way could I have had the time to impart every bit of my accumulated knowledge to them...there would have been no room for sometimes merely enjoying each others' company. Besides, I'm sure they would not have wanted me to prattling on and on to them with advice and 5 million factoids. I say just cover the necessary info (like sex and health and safety etc) as best you can and let them figure out some of the little details for themselves. :)

Some of my best days are alone, just doing...whatever I want. I always think of Audrey Hepburn in the movie Roman Holiday. Bliss. I can just have a banana sandwich or scrambled eggs for dinner if I want. Plan a "date" with a girlfriend. Go to a chick flick. :rolleyes: Nice to hear about yours Brandi.

Ah, yes, the hair in places where no hair has (or should) appear. So unfair I think. Although I heard on Dr. Oz, that shaving your face keeps the wrinkles away, so I just think of it as a beauty treatment now. :p:p:p

And last but not least... I remember asking "what is a penis?" out loud...in the library....in junior high school. :eek: Ah, the good old days.

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Originally Posted by redrhodie

<polite edit> Learning her secrets made things make more sense. I won't share them here, but our mother's have histories, love, and pain that we can't imagine. So sometimes, when they seem crazy, it's from that.

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Absolutely this.

My husband is away for 10 days at the moment, he is in WA state whilst I am in the UK. This one is harder than usual due to illness and the consequent lack of sleep with a poorly child. But nevertheless I get the chance to catch up on trashy tv and spend every evening doing crochet or knitting. Enjoy your time!

I used to secretly love it when DBF went to gaming nights with "the guys" (they'd play D&D or Risk or something). It meant I got to eat what I wanted for dinner. It usually involved coconut--Thai curries, coconut-crusted chicken--since DBF hates the stuff.

I'm the opposite I guess... I always hated the feeling of an empty bed at the end of the night. I'd enjoy the eating what ever I wanted and watching what ever I wanted, but dredded the time when it came to go to bed.

Shannon

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Originally Posted by AppleTree

I remember asking "what is a penis?" out loud...in the library....in junior high school. :eek:

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And from a product of relatively open sex education ... I don't remember this, but one of my mom's favorite embarrassing family stories revolves around a trip to the zoo when I was three or four, remarking loudly on the size of the bull elephant's penis... :o:p

I am now in Texas with my husband in a hotel room. We are working for the East texas state fair. It is VERY dry and warm here! This is why I enjoyed my time alone. Because we work together. My dear hubby get's in serious work modes and forget's he is talking to his wife sometimes. So yes my time to my self is much loved. But It is so exciting to see him after being apart! Our reunion at the airport when he picked me up was like he was seeing me for the first time. And we have been together 25 years. Ok off for an early one this morning.

We are doing a sand sculpture of old toy's here in east Texas. I would love idea's if anyone has them. We have one's we are going to do like Mr potatoe head, army guys, slinky etc...but wanted to see if anyone had one's we are not thinking about. For those who don't know what I do for a living here is my web site www.sandscapes.com.

I haven't read this thread, but I find it interesting. I'm like Roadtrip. I hate it when my DH travels. He's been away for a week and not coming back until Friday; this is pretty rare nowadays, but he used to be gone every week, when the kids were little, Mon.-Thurs. Then, several years of routine, regular trips. Now, since he's the boss, he decides when to go. I am plenty busy, but it makes me think how I could really just work and ride all of the time, if he wasn't around, which is not healthy! I don't mind being alone, as I pretty much get to do what I want even when he is here, so I just really miss him, even after 32 years.
I really can't think of anything I wish my mother told me. I had a very open upbringing and no subject was taboo. I was the same way with my kids, and like Lisa, I gave them what I thought they needed to be healthy and safe and they turned out to be fabulous teenagers and very well adjusted adults. I embarrassed my younger son once, when he was in 6th grade and he asked me what oral sex was, when his friend was over. As I proceeded to explain, in my normal, factual way, he yelled, "STOP!"

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Originally Posted by Crankin

As I proceeded to explain, in my normal, factual way, he yelled, "STOP!"

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ROFL. I can't imagine my mom doing that! Ok, I can... But my minds eye is so blinded at the thought I can't comprehend.

I recall a story about how I called an older colored and totally sweet lady "chocolate" lady at the grocery.

Yes, the reunion is always lovely! Have a lovely work trip, Brandi. Could you do a sand bucket, spade and beachball maybe? Or a pull-along phone. or some lego?

My mom didn't share too much of anything with me. She came from an era where sex was tabu, ladies never talked about such things.

The one thing that sticks out in my mind is when I had my first period. I think I was something like 10 years and had absolutely no idea what had happened. I was scared beyond what anyone should be - I couldn't even bring myself to tell my mom what was going on. I kept thinking to myself what have I done to cause this (I was such a worry wart). I waited an entire day before telling my mom. All my mother did was go into her lingerie drawer, pulled out this sanitary belt, along with a few napkins and handed them to me. I don't even think Tampax was an option at the time. The next words were "now you can have babies." I was so dumbfounded by this I didn't know what to think. :o

All I can say is thank goodness for libraries. I spent all my free time in the library learning about what the menstural cycle was. I also learned about puberty and everything else a teenager experiences. I can't say our health classes focused on any of this -- I think the school was more concerned about telling us about syphyllis, herpes, etc., and how contracting any of these STDs would ruin your life.

Girl Scouts saved me. Was on a group camping trip, although we were "camping" inside some sort of buildling. There was my troop (Cadettes) and some older girls (Senior Scouts), and one of them recognized what I hadn't yet noticed. She took me to the bathroom had me change out my panties, loaned me some pads, and wash my PJ bottoms. Then kept me stocked the rest of the weekend. I knew what a period was, just didn't know the signs that it was about to happen.

Seems years later when I worked at a GS camp, we always had a couple of girls having their first period, at camp. Some were clueless, which was loads of fun. But at least this was in the pre-PC / overprotective parent days, so we could explain 1/2 of the birds and the bees to the girl and not have the parents all over us for up-surping their parental prerogative.

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Originally Posted by Brandi

We are doing a sand sculpture of old toy's here in east Texas. I would love idea's if anyone has them. We have one's we are going to do like Mr potatoe head, army guys, slinky etc...but wanted to see if anyone had one's we are not thinking about. For those who don't know what I do for a living here is my web site www.sandscapes.com.

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Brandi: I just looked at your website...that's..soo..coooool!!! The ideas you have remind me of the movie Toy Story. How about some chattering teeth like the ones they sell in Cracker Barrel? Can you share a picture when it's done? I'm amazed that that is what you do :)

It's hard for me to imagine a parent not telling a daughter about menstruation! I mean, I am almost 60 years old and as I said before, my parents were super open.
Both of my kids asked the questions when they were 5 or 6. I went to the library and got a book that came with an accompanying video. It was hysterical, showing a cartoon version of the parents in the bed, with the bed moving. Not graphic, but to the point. After reading the book with the kids and watching the video (DH watched the video with us, too), they pretty much knew everything. When my oldest was 7, he asked me about abortion. Not to get into a controversial subject, but I was not sure how to explain this. Mind you, he was reading middle school books at this point and was very socially precocious. So, again, I went to the library, got a book that was for middle schoolers, and read a small part of it with him. He asked questions, and I gave short, factual answers. He never asked me again, but I knew he understood.
The next hard question I got asked was "how old should you be to have sex?" I think he was about 15. As I was thinking of what kind of realistic and not hypocritical answer I should give, he said, "Like when you go to college?" This was pretty much what I was going to say, so I was glad I held my tongue. My job was done!

Sex ed - my mother handed me a book written by Ann Landers about sex. Didn't know that holding hands was a "gateway action" to intercourse, did you?:D

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Originally Posted by Dogmama

Sex ed - my mother handed me a book written by Ann Landers about sex. Didn't know that holding hands was a "gateway action" to intercourse, did you?:D

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All of that TOUCHING ;)

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Originally Posted by SUPlove

Brandi: I just looked at your website...that's..soo..coooool!!! The ideas you have remind me of the movie Toy Story. How about some chattering teeth like the ones they sell in Cracker Barrel? Can you share a picture when it's done? I'm amazed that that is what you do :)

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I will share photo's when we are done I promise.

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Originally Posted by Catrin

All of that TOUCHING ;)

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Sorry but I am cracking up right now!

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Originally Posted by Brandi

Sorry but I am cracking up right now!

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Then my job is done :)

My mom was pretty open with me and was pretty independent for her time. I think Dad liked that about her. Of course my grandma (maternal) never understood her. But the funniest thing about sex ed I remember is my grandmother asking the ladies (my mom, aunt, female first cousins and I) what oral sex was. When we explained it, she said it must be a mortal sin and she hoped none of us had done that! :eek: Of course everyone started looking at each other and giggling....Grandma was certainly perplexed at that! :D