Facebook?!?!?!

I have seriously been debating deleting my FB account, like I ended up doing with MySpace back in the day. This time it's not all the wierdo's the hit me up like on MySpace but the fact that I seem to waste sooooooooo much time posting crap on there! It's a great way to keep in contact with people but at the same time it the most efficient time waster i have EVER came across. I'm in professional school now and it is really annoying to me that I have this one 'weakness' that is getting the best of me most days. I even went without FB for a week and I was like a Crack Who** coming back to it, I couldn't wait! Tell me am I crazy or do I have a serious problem with Facebook?!?!?!? HELP ME!

I think there is a lot of good on facebook. I have reconnected with friends, made good family contacts... have fun "playing" with my husband.. all on facebook.
But you have to learn to control yourself or it certainly does get out of hand!

Heh - it might be you, but you aren't alone.

I actually just came to TE after a quick peek at Facebook and all I could think was 'Facebook must not be for me'. I just don't have anything to say that I need to share with the whole world (even if my 'world' is only 200-some friends). I often forget to check it most of the time and yet I sit at a computer all day! BUT, there are plenty of people who post sooo much on Facebook that I have a really hard time understanding it.

What part about it do you find so compelling? Is there a way you could limit the things you see so that you can better control your time there?

"What part about it do you find so compelling? Is there a way you could limit the things you see so that you can better control your time there?"

Maybe because I'm away from home with grad school but honestly it was bad before I moved too. I have been doing group rides here to get to know more people but it hasn't really flourished into any friendships. I also don't necessarily have 4 hours out of my weekend days to dedicate to riding with a group. Soooooooo.... that's where FB comes in. I go do my own workout of around 2 hours then get my social fix from FB. I'm a non traditional student (ie I'm about 10 years older than most students) so I don't have a lot in common with other students which doesn't get me that social connection at school either. It's all a bit frustrating to me.

I'm not aware of ways to limit what I can see on FB. Does anyone else know if there is?

I remember those days. I was also a non-traditional student when I went back, and I killed a TON of time on the Knot back in those days (I was also planning my wedding). I totally get that!

I know that you can 'hide' updates from certain people and certain applications (like Mafia wars or something), but I'm not sure what other filters are availble.

As far as limiting what you see... I have a number of "friends" for actual networking reasons who annoy me so much that I hide any feed from them. I think you can set up groups now, too, so that your posts won't show up on everyone's wall, just select people?

I use Facebook mostly to keep in touch with my younger sister (she, for some reason, only owns a cordful phone - as she puts it - and therefore won't talk on it, so we chat online instead). I have a few other friends that I live halfway across the country from and it's useful in keeping up with them, and for looking at the gazillion photos of all of my friends' babies and toddlers. It's definitely a huge timesuck if you allow it, though!

I had a FB account for a few months, but I got rid of it. It wasn't doing me any good. I sent all my "friends" (I think I had 50 or so) my email address and told them that I was leaving FB and that they now have my contact info so if they want to be in contact with me, they know where to find me. I think I also left my home address and phone number in the message. I really did know all my FB friends; there were no unknowns there.

With all the privacy breaches since, I know it was the right decision. I'm still on Linked In for my work, which is much less time-consuming. I'm definitely not a Twitterer.

It's been such a relief to not feel compelled to check it all the time. Really, I neither want nor need to be so updated. I've even taken to writing real letters lately. Radical, I know.

Is your time on Facebook so detrimental you aren't getting anything done? If so that is a problem.

My suggestion is that you set aside time during the day for Facebook and then stick to that time. Maybe 1 hour in the morning, 1 in the afternoon, 1 after dinner, etc.

We all get addicted to something at some time, in the scheme of things some things are more harmful or harmless then the others. So you decide.

That said. I don't get how some people can get on Facebook and post everything they are doing. Going to the market, packing for a trip, etc. I just don't think I want anyone knowing that much about my life.

Now my daughter 20 posts to her friends, they all go to different schools, but she limits her posts and I've noticed they are cryptic sometimes. My other daughter, 26, could care less.

My older sister (54) acts like if you aren't on Facebook then you are odd, wierd and being unsocial. (I have not accepted her as a friend) She knows that I don't get on Facebook more than once a week and rarely post and thinks I'm really quite secretive and odd. My main purpose for Facebook is because if I'm doing a charity fundraiser I want to use it to nudge people to donate.

Most of my friends, e-mail me or call me. I write notes to relatives and usually phone call other relatives and friends.

Just my .02

I check it a couple of times a day, but I hardly ever post. Most of my "friends" are people I see in real time. The rest are friends that live in other places. I resisted FB for awhile, but I see it just as an on-looker. I can't imagine who would be interested in my day to day stuff.
That's what TE is for.

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Originally Posted by WindingRoad

I'm not aware of ways to limit what I can see on FB. Does anyone else know if there is?

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You can make lists to organize your friends, e.g., family, school, cycling buddies, what have you. Then instead of seeing updates from ALL your friends, you click on a given list and only see updates for friends who have been assigned to that category.

Maybe you could address the underlying issue, i.e., the underlying desire for social interaction. If school and cycling aren't yielding friendships, then get involved in something else where you might meet like-minded people. Volunteer for an organization that speaks to you. Get involved on campus. Do something beyond sitting in front of your computer on FB. I don't have anything against virtual worlds, but it's not a substitute for IRL social interaction.

I can only take so much computer a day. Maybe an hour in the morning, quick cheak in the afternoon and maybe an hour at night. My husband can literly sit for hours and be on his. Don't know how he does it

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Originally Posted by GLC1968

I remember those days. I was also a non-traditional student when I went back, and I killed a TON of time on the Knot back in those days (I was also planning my wedding). I totally get that!

I know that you can 'hide' updates from certain people and certain applications (like Mafia wars or something), but I'm not sure what other filters are availble.

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GLC1968, peeked in at your blog and loved it, cute goats! I'm looking forward to some time to really peruse through it.

Sorry, thread interruption...

windingroad, if it is causing real issues for you then go ahead and impose some self limitation, if's it's just a little guilt and you are spending less than an hour a day I wouldn't worry about it.

Everybody uses FB differently. For some people, they post constantly throughout the day from their cell phones about mundane trivia. Others feel the need to be linked to hundreds or thousands of people. Other people are linked to just a few people and informational pages. There is a lot of variation in how people use FB.

I like it best when my friends focus on what is important to them, and post at the times something significant happens, like fitness, health and weight loss achievements, or a job search, or meeting cycling goals.

I like to be linked to pages, particularly the health organizations like the American Heart Association, the American Diabetes Association, the cycling organizations, etc., and I am able to learn a lot that helps me on my quest to achieve and maintain optimal health for my age. I only post when I do something significant, so maybe a few posts a week, or perhaps none at all. Like yesterday I posted that I was invited to join a local all-female cycling group that was just formed, that we had our first ride, that it was a great paceline ride, fast, and a great workout. This is a biggie in my life since I live rurally and there are no cycling clubs in my rural county. At the same time I have no desire to be linked to everybody I went to high school and college with, or who used to be co-workers, or all of my neighbors, etc., yet I do like reading what my friends have to say, what is truly important in their lives at the moment. And I never use Chat because that is a big waste of time.

My recommendation is not to delete FB, but adjust how you use it. Delete links to people, pages and groups that you haven't interacted with in six months and it will lessen the information flow on your page. Filter out all of the Farmville, Mafia War type of stuff. Use FB for fun, not as a substitute for having face-to-face friends. If you are lonely get involved in the real world. FB isn't a numbers game, to try to get linked to more people than your friends and relatives, so stay focused, and link only to the people, pages and groups that are truly important to you.

I will be practicing what I preach by the end of the year and deleting a lot of my links. I am sure everyone understands what I am saying, but I am linked to some friends who only log into FB to add more friends, then log off, and they don't post or comment, so they are linked to hundreds of people they know periphally, like people they have interacted with in the business world briefly 10 years ago, and that is it for them, just linked but never use FB to read or post or comment so it would be better for me to just delete them and I can communicate with them via email or phone to arrange for face-to-face socializing. And I will probably delete the links to the people who publish the trivia of their day, the ones who go on political rampages, etc.

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Originally Posted by Muirenn

You can also post something on your wall to the effect that if anyone needs a speedy response, to email you at your usual place. But have that separate from the 'siren call' of an email telling you that someone 'likes' your status.

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That's a really good idea. I don't do Facebook yet, but if I decide to try it, that's one thing I've wondered about. I don't want to appear rude if I don't check in often. The notice that you suggest would solve that problem.

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Originally Posted by WindingRoad

I have seriously been debating deleting my FB account, like I ended up doing with MySpace back in the day. This time it's not all the wierdo's the hit me up like on MySpace but the fact that I seem to waste sooooooooo much time posting crap on there! It's a great way to keep in contact with people but at the same time it the most efficient time waster i have EVER came across. I'm in professional school now and it is really annoying to me that I have this one 'weakness' that is getting the best of me most days. I even went without FB for a week and I was like a Crack Who** coming back to it, I couldn't wait! Tell me am I crazy or do I have a serious problem with Facebook?!?!?!? HELP ME!

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I left facebook a couple months ago, it felt great. I did it for all the same reasons you described. But, I found myself missing out on knowing what was going on with some family members and even those I consider my closest friends. It made me upset that if you're not connected on there, people just kind of forget about you, and your attempts to keep people informed fail and seem like more work. So, I rejoined, adding just my family and a couple close friends. I wish I hadn't though, I'm right back where I was. It's really hard to control and I would rather spend my time doing other stuff, even if it were alone!

Oh, I'm missing out, no doubt. But missing out on what? When I was on FB, I was missing out--on my own life!

In my case, my family is not on FB. I talk to my family on the phone several times a week. I have friends who are on FB, but they know that they can email me or (gasp!) call me and we can talk face-to-face or at least on the phone if they live out of the area.

I'm much happier this way, and I'm not inclined at all to go back.

Eh, I personally see no problem with it.

I find fb a great way to keep up with the friends I want to keep up with, to plan get-togethers and such.

There is an effective ignore feature on fb, so if someone is expending too much bandwidth (imho) yammering about what they had for dinner or whatever, I put them on ignore. Easy-peasy.

Nowadays, I personally find fb much more useful and relevant to me than TE, which I feel (again, imho) has, over time, become full of irrelevant chatter. I'm so glad Jeff finally brought back the ignore thread option.

Again, just my opinion.