Another what to wear (wedding question)

OK, my son who got married in September is having a "real" wedding in June. The whole thing seems incredibly stupid to me; he is paying for it, so I just keep my mouth shut. The wedding is at 6 PM on a Friday, and will be hot appetizers and drinks at a country club outside of Philly. Her dress is a very simple strapless dress that looks like it's from J Crew (I don't really know this). Anyway, I just talked to her mom and she already bought a dress... it's long and champagne colored, sort of simple and form fitting. I was not thinking of buying a real "mother" type dress. It is just not me. I was thinking of getting a really nice cocktail type of dress that I could wear again. But, if everyone is wearing long, than I guess I should. I don't know what to do. The only place I could find long, wedding appropriate dresses in petite sizes is J Crew. And those were more for bridesmaids, but they looked like the type of dress I would wear, at least. I looked at some Ann Taylor dresses, but they seemed ugly and not formal enough.
Ugh. I hate to buy a long dress I won't wear again. My son is wearing his dress uniform and he decided that my other son and DH should wear nice suits and not tuxes.
My daughter in law's family has no $, but seem to be used to these types of weddings (her parents are divorced). My family tends to have small, untraditional, but very nice weddings. I don't want to make a thing out of this. I really need suggestions as to what would be appropriate and where I could find something in petite sizes.

are the bridesmaids wearing long dresses?
I actually picked out a dress on line and had my daughter in law approve it before I bought it (I did NOT want to get in trouble with her)
It was a cotton shift and it was short. (and they got married on the hottest day of the year). It looked great since I'm fit.
So do some internet cruising and consult with the bride. I'll bet you don't have to wear a stupid long dress. This is my other son with the ring bearer in this photo

http://inlinethumb61.webshots.com/46...500x500Q85.jpg

You could also find a long dress that you could hem to cocktail length. I've done that with 2 of my bridesmaids dresses, and I love them.

I know that the bridesmaids are wearing their own style of dress in matching colors. I guess I will IM my DIL now.
This whole thing is getting on my nerves. And, my other son is getting engaged this weekend, too! (at least he is slightly normal)

What limewave said!

I don't see anything wrong with a shorter dress, but that's just my opinion.

I hate to hijack the thread but would the ring bearer be a SNAKE???

I don't see anything wrong with a shorter (it sounds like you like tailored clothing) dress. If you are worried about it not being appropriate for the bride's family; have her check it out before the wedding.

our son's wife was terrified that we'd come to the wedding in bike gear!

It sounds to me like the bride's mother is going overboard and will be overdressed for the occasion. 6:00 on Friday is perfect for after-work cocktail attire. Since the men are wearing suits and not tuxes, a long/formal dress would be out of place. I'd just get the nice cocktail dress you had planned on and not worry about it.

Sarah

Yes, my dil's mom said a cocktail dress would be fine. She added that she had been "bullied" into this choice, in a joking way. My DIL appears to be quite traditional. The fact that she still "requires" the whole white wedding thing after being married for 9 months troubles me. I was all for having a really nice party with entertainment, but she wanted the whole thing, even another civil ceremony. This is strictly for her family; we suggested they get married on the beach in San Diego and have the reception at the officer's club, but the answer was that none of her family could afford to come. I know that they are really good for each other, so as I said, I pretty much keep my mouth shut. I just sent her an email asking about the bridesmaids and about whether she would mind a short dress. Of course I will ask her permission about whatever I decide on.
It's going to be bad enough that there will be about 10 people from my side of the family/friends and about 90 of them! And yes, I would love to show up in my bike clothes, but I wouldn't. After all, if it wasn't for Scott (my son) no one else in this family would be riding. But, we are driving there, so we can bring our bikes and ride.
Ah, yes, I thought that was a snake, too. Or a bike glove that was on in a weird way.

Early evening, a coctail length dress is entirely appropriate as far as I know, but I'm a biologist. :o

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Originally Posted by Biciclista

our son's wife was terrified that we'd come to the wedding in bike gear!

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Well there is the Tuxedo Jersey.... And we all know that TE has some lovely lady's jerseys, then you could wear a biking skirt to make it more formal .... :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by kenyonchris

I hate to hijack the thread but would the ring bearer be a SNAKE???

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What she asked! :eek:

Admittedly I'm not familiar at all with the mother of bride or groom, having to wear long dresses.

And I've been to some nice weddings in the past ten years.
I'm sure you'll find a lovely dress that will be wearable again after the wedding. How fussy is your daughter in law to be? Some just wouldn't care what the mothers wore as long as it's an outfit that doesn't outshine the bride.

No matter what the length, you can't go wrong with sequins.













Yes, I'm kidding.

That's good, Zen. I have a great short length beaded cocktail dress, but it's black. Almost everything I have is black, but I know that's a no-no.
OK, enough of this wedding stuff. I have to go to the grocery store.

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Originally Posted by Crankin

That's good, Zen. I have a great short length beaded cocktail dress, but it's black. Almost everything I have is black, but I know that's a no-no.
OK, enough of this wedding stuff. I have to go to the grocery store.

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It's okay to wear black to weddings these days. The last wedding I went to, many of the women were wearing cute black cocktail dresses . . . including the Mother of the Groom. And she looked FABULOUS ;)

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Originally Posted by Crankin

That's good, Zen. I have a great short length beaded cocktail dress, but it's black. Almost everything I have is black, but I know that's a no-no.

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actually, i don't think wearing black to an evening wedding is as much of a no-no as it used to be, especially if you accessorize with color. though it being summer, i'd be more inclined to get something more summery/lighter, something like this maybe?

Taffeta is not my thing... plus, it's way too hot for summer. Anyway, I just got a reply from my DIL and she said the bridesmaids' dresses are short, berry color. She said a cocktail dress is fine, too. I am not sure why her mom got a long dress.
I do know that black is sort of OK for weddings now. The beaded dress I have is too big on me; I got it about 2 months before I started cycling (it's 9 years old:eek:). So, I feel I have more choice now. I definitely will not be wearing anything that remotely looks like a "mother of the groom" dress; I want to show off my cycling muscles!

yeah!

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Originally Posted by Crankin

I definitely will not be wearing anything that remotely looks like a "mother of the groom" dress; I want to show off my cycling muscles!

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Yeah! All I know about wedding fashions is "don't upstage the bride" ;)

oh geez, or clash with their colors!

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Originally Posted by Crankin

Taffeta is not my thing... plus, it's way too hot for summer.

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see i'm a sucker for anything shiny so i'd jump at the opportunity to wear taffeta :) and i forget that june can be hot when you're not on the west coast. it'd still be cool enough for the jacket here in june.

but definitely show off those muscles!

It could be cool enough for the jacket, but it's really humid in Philadelphia in the summer.
Anyway, this is what I am thinking of, either in the graphite color or black. I would get some type of shawl or shrug to wear if it's cool.
It looks better when you click on the other colors, not on the original picture; you can see the chiffon layer.

http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/Wedd...6454/96454.jsp

I don't think I will upstage the bride, since she is 22 and a former Marine. She is gorgeous and has muscles.

ooooooooo the dark purple (spiced wine) one is pretty.

ooh that's lovely! i want the vintage blue one - i'm obsessed with just that shade of blue these days.

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Originally Posted by Biciclista

oh geez, or clash with their colors!

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It's considered bad form if the Mom of the bride has better legs. :p ;) :cool:

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Originally Posted by Crankin

It could be cool enough for the jacket, but it's really humid in Philadelphia in the summer.

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Ordinarily, I would agree with that. However, last June was really cool and rainy. Just saying....

BTW, love that JCrew dress!

OK, I have "approval" for the black dress. At least I know I can wear it somewhere else! I liked the dark purple, too, but the bridesmaids are wearing a shade of berry/purple.
I will get some kind of shawl/wrap, as it could be cool and rainy, as it was all of last June, here in New England, too.
I haven't met my DIL's mom, but according to my son, she is "not fat." I have seen pictures of her and she looks pretty good! But, she doesn't cycle... and she's about 14 years younger than me. She got married at 18 and had kids at , 19, 20, etc., etc.
Can you tell there's a bit of a difference in our families?

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Originally Posted by Trek420

Yeah! All I know about wedding fashions is "don't upstage the bride" ;)

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My MIL didn't get this memo. When I got married (at Christmas time) all of my bridesmaid's had simple, ankle-length satin dresses in a sort of champagne color (we carried bouquets of ivory and red pointsettias with ivy trailing from the bouquets). My mom's dress was in a nearly identical style in a sort of cranberry color. My MIL had bought a forest green velvet dress that would have "matched" the wedding party and flowers perfectly...then at the last minute exchanged this suitable dress for a lavender skirt suit...for a Christmas themed wedding. In all of the wedding party shots it's not my hubby and I who stand out, but my MIL in her stupid clashing suit.

Oh, and the reason she traded outfits...I kid you not: she said she wanted to show off her legs. :rolleyes:

This is how she is all the time. Needless to say, I am not fond of her. She is pushy and self-centered.

/rant

I think as long as your dress is a suitable style and color that doesn't stand out from the rest of the group you will be fine.

I'm late to the game, Crankin, but if you are still looking at options, this is lovely:

http://www1.talbots.com/online/brows...rSale=cat70010

It comes in petite. Check out their other dresses as there are more "formal" ones (silk sheaths). This one is cotton. Definitely doesn't "scream MOG" and it would show off your figure. If you look under accessories, I think they might have shawls/wraps. I get most of my clothes from Talbots because they are high quality and actually fit. Like you, I have a petite frame and have a hard time finding clothes that fit properly (another challenge, I'm too tall for petites so a lot of my slacks are unintended "ankle" pants).

I think your DIL is very fortunate to have you as a MIL..... You are a class act.

I ordered the black dress from J Crew.
Mickchick, I do like that dress from Talbots; but I can't buy clothes there anymore. It seems like they subscribe to the "vanity sizing" thing and all of a sudden, their size 2s are huge on me and the petite x-smalls are like down to my knees. I used to buy stuff there, as it is one of the few stores that is close to where I live. But, I might go there to look for a wrap.
Thanks for the compliment. I swore I would not be an evil MIL, because mine is. I was never good enough for them, because I didn't call them mom and dad or kiss their azz. Oh, and then there was the stuff about being "too educated and a snob :eek:. What kind of Jewish mother says someone is too educated??? It's amazing my DH is as normal and mentally sane as he is,despite the fact I turned him into a snob..
My DIL is tough, but kind of sensitive and traditional. I am trying to respect that. She is in college for nursing now and I think she will be a great nurse. And she puts up with Scott's "weirdness." My other son's fiancee is an architect/artsy type who is working as a restaurant manager because she can't find a job in her field. She is from an extremely dysfunctional family and we try to give her the guidance she has never had. Talk about cognitive distortions! Ah, the power of your family of origin. Anyway, we are close and will have a lot of input into the planning of that wedding.

Crankin---I noticed the sizing "drift" with the Talbots misses sizes. That's why I have to go exclusively with the petite (I used to be able to fit into misses size slacks/skirt, but now they are way too big). Now that you mention it, I am in a lower petite size than I was before.