Do not click on the link in this tale

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08-16-2009, 08:05 AM
owlice

Do not click on the link in this tale

(Really!)

A few weeks ago, I rode in 90+ degree heat; started out on a trail with less shade than I like on hot, sunny days, intending to do that one trail twice. I sent the following in an email to two friends (and I reiterate.... do NOT click on the link!):

Quote:

I suckered myself into doing the distance I'd set out to do. I didn't stay on the NW Branch trail; I decided as I rode it that I didn't want to ride it twice (not enough shade), so when I got to the bottom of the trail, I rode up the NE Branch trail rather than turn around, and then up the Paint Branch trail, and by then, I was 12 miles away from my car, so I had no choice... I had to ride back! (I'd have cursed under my breath, but didn't have the energy to do so.)

I think if I'd have turned around at the bottom of NW Branch trail, I'd have ridden only 14 miles today; I don't know that I'd have been able to resist getting in the car and driving home after one run on that trail.

When I did finally make it back to the car -- I'd left it at the Adelphi Mill -- the parking lot was full and there were lots of people milling about. Apparently a wedding or wedding reception was just getting underway at the Mill. So there they are, all these people nicely groomed and in very fancy clothes, and here I come, in bike shorts ordered from lardass.com and a ratty tee-shirt, dripping sweat, panting (literally; tongue hanging out like a dog's), riding through all the fancy folks with my stink and muddy bicycle. I stopped about 10 feet from my car (just couldn't pedal anymore), got off the bike, staggered the remaining distance, propped the bike up, took off my helmet, grabbed my water bottle and poured water right over my head. Twice.

I might have heard applause as I was pulling out of the parking lot, but surely that was because I'd freed up a space for a guest, right? :D

I then got an email back from one of the people I'd sent this to, which had in part:

Quote:

I am about to bust a seam laughing this morning. I decided to follow your link to lardass.com and boy, was I in for a surprise!

That message, sent by "Reply all," made the other friend click on the link, too.

Eventually, I got a message from one of them which said something about the "slighty pornographic" site... which made ME click on the link I'd sent, because of course I'd just made up the name of the (supposed) source of my bike shorts as a description of the size of my bike shorts (I actually got them from aerotechdesigns.com, teamestrogen.com not selling bike shorts in my size).

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Nothing "slightly" about it! It's a porno site featuring zaftig women!!!

From now on, I solemnly swear to check any website names I think I'm making up, lest they really exist!
08-16-2009, 08:36 AM
deeaimond

i should print some of those pictures out and place them around my mirror to remind me to go out on my bike so i will not become a real lardass... hahhha
08-16-2009, 08:58 AM
Trek420

Owlice and all,

Since some of us follow TE at work what's usually done here is something along the line of "warning, do not open at work" in the title. :cool:

Opening a site like that at my job even accidently, on my break or lunch etc could get me fired for several reasons. :(
08-16-2009, 11:21 AM
Selkie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trek420

Owlice and all,

Since some of us follow TE at work what's usually done here is something along the line of "warning, do not open at work" in the title. :cool:

Opening a site like that at my job even accidently, on my break or lunch etc could get me fired for several reasons. :(

Agreed.
08-16-2009, 12:09 PM
ny biker

I'm confused. It says not to click on the link.

I'm very careful about clicking on any links at work, with or without a warning. Even things like surveymonkey are blocked at my office.

BTW, I used to belong to a health club that is located in the Fairmont Hotel in DC. I lost count of the number of times I walked through a wedding reception crowd in the lobby, them all dressed up and me all sweaty in a tank top and shorts. That's the risk they take when they decide to take their fancy photos in a public place...
08-16-2009, 12:12 PM
redrhodie

I clicked the link. I was also the little kid who put her hand on the hot stove burner after my mother told me in no uncertain terms not to. :o

I still doan lissen.
08-16-2009, 12:34 PM
witeowl

Quote:

Originally Posted by ny biker

I'm confused. It says not to click on the link.

Me too. She says it, like, three times. Yeah, a NSFW may make it clearer, but it's not like you weren't warned. She even tells you that it was a porno site near the end of her tale.

Did she edit?
08-16-2009, 12:35 PM
Selkie

Quote:

Originally Posted by ny biker

I'm confused. It says not to click on the link.

I'm very careful about clicking on any links at work, with or without a warning. Even things like surveymonkey are blocked at my office.

BTW, I used to belong to a health club that is located in the Fairmont Hotel in DC. I lost count of the number of times I walked through a wedding reception crowd in the lobby, them all dressed up and me all sweaty in a tank top and shorts. That's the risk they take when they decide to take their fancy photos in a public place...

You're right, NY, the warning is there. I tend to be a little overly cautious about this kind of stuff and you're correct, I wouldn't have opened the thread at work based on the title. Mea culpa.

I would have done the same thing as you at the hotel/health club. ;)
08-16-2009, 12:43 PM
tctrek

Quote:

Originally Posted by redrhodie

I clicked the link. I was also the little kid who put her hand on the hot stove burner after my mother told me in no uncertain terms not to. :o

I still doan lissen.

I doan lissen either. I'm the one that removes the tags that say "Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.". I also unwrap Christmas presents if I can find them. You know what they say "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back." That's me.
08-16-2009, 01:00 PM
ny biker

Ha. I never remove those tags. Not because I'm askeered of the law, though. Just too lazy.
08-16-2009, 02:42 PM
Trek420

Quote:

Originally Posted by tctrek

I'm the one that removes the tags that say "Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.".

Noooooooooo, don't pull off the mattress tags. :D :rolleyes: There are special mattress tag police for that, dontcha know.

I just hate it when the mattress-tag police pull you over :rolleyes: ;):p
08-16-2009, 02:56 PM
witeowl

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trek420

I just hate it when the mattress-tag police pull you over :rolleyes: ;):p

Me too. I hate it so much I've stopped driving my mattress around town. :cool:
08-16-2009, 03:15 PM
Trek420

"I'll need to see your license and mattress tag please" ;)
08-17-2009, 04:54 AM
owlice

In the interest of not wanting anyone to lose her job over a click on the link :eek:, I edited my OP to remove the www. from the website name, thus rendering the site unclickable.

I did warn you, though!! Really!! :o
08-17-2009, 05:48 AM
Trek420

You did warn us, really. Did I ever say I listen? :p ;)
08-17-2009, 06:22 AM
alpinerabbit

a major Swiss bank sent out documents with links to "xxx.com", which they had written as a placeholder, and left in... but it exists, and contains exactly what the domain name suggests....
08-17-2009, 06:59 AM
Biciclista

I didn't click, but I looked very hard to find the link which of course you had already taken down. i too could get fired for stuff like that. :eek::eek: thanks for your caution and i LOVED your story.
08-17-2009, 03:42 PM
BikingNurse

to click or not to click?

Owlice,
To click or not to click is not the issue here. As it stands, your account of your ride made me laugh out loud! Our secretary was laughing just cause I was laughing so hard. Thank you for your tale and the brilliant way you told it. Totally made my day. Thanks!
:D