Okay, I'm going to do this...

I'm going out on a ride on my own. It'll be short--just around the north end of campus, but I'm going to do this, either after I get home from work or tomorrow morning before BF gets up. It has to be before he gets up or he'll want to come with me.

It's not that I don't like riding with him--quite the opposite, actually. He's just a bit...distracting. It's a little disconcerting to have him a foot or so away from my back tire, barking out how fast I'm going (or not going, as the case may be). He also insists on going riding in some team jersey, so by association, people assume that I know what I'm doing.
(I'll let BF continue to think that he cuts quite a dash in Lycra and that that's what I find distracting. :p)

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Originally Posted by Owlie

I'm going out on a ride on my own. It'll be short--just around the north end of campus, but I'm going to do this, either after I get home from work or tomorrow morning before BF gets up. It has to be before he gets up or he'll want to come with me.

It's not that I don't like riding with him--quite the opposite, actually. He's just a bit...distracting. It's a little disconcerting to have him a foot or so away from my back tire, barking out how fast I'm going (or not going, as the case may be). He also insists on going riding in some team jersey, so by association, people assume that I know what I'm doing.
(I'll let BF continue to think that he cuts quite a dash in Lycra and that that's what I find distracting. :p)

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You go, girl! Although I don't think it would be bad to gently let BF know that it's hard for you to concentrate when he's distracting you with your speed/performance.

and let us know how it went!

*snort* :D I have a friend who does this. I'll be tootling along watching traffic or the scenery and I'll hear, among gasps, from the rear: "A hundred and sixty!!"

Heart rate...

You can do it!

I bet you feel empowered afterward!

:)

YOU GO GIRL:D

In the long run, consider talking to him about this. My pet peeves are: when we ride up my nemesis hill, with me huffing and puffing and I'm just HOPING to make it to the top, while he rides next to me and giggles at the faces I'm making (curse words); or on a perfect day, when I feel like I'm pedaling like the wind, and I can hear him coasting behind me--JUST GO BY and let me enjoy my ride (I don't want to feel like I'm holding you up). DH and I had a few yelling/tearful exchanges before I learned to express my feelings: Don't coach me. I am pedaling as fast as I want to pedal--if you want to go by, go by. I feel nervous with you right on my back wheel. I don't want to climb that hill. This is supposed to be fun. Let me learn at my own pace, or I'll go ride with someone else.

The first bike DH bought me, when we started dating, didn't "stick" because of this. Ten years later, he's learned patience and my cycling skills have improved. He now quickly recognizes when I'm getting frustrated and backs off--although the occasional curse word still flies. He just apologized this week for pushing me out on a hill ride I didn't want to do--that ended with me turning around and coming back home early and alone.

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Originally Posted by lph

*snort* :D I have a friend who does this. I'll be tootling along watching traffic or the scenery and I'll hear, among gasps, from the rear: "A hundred and sixty!!"

Heart rate...

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Hee hee.

How old is your friend?! 160 isn't gasp-inducingly low! (I guess on some hills it would be, though...)

Hope you chat up later with BF and find a good style to bike together for certain times.

Would he be still be embarrassed to be cycling with you if you weren't as jersey team-kit oriented as him, especially if you become a better (freer) cyclist? :p

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Originally Posted by lph

*snort* :D I have a friend who does this. I'll be tootling along watching traffic or the scenery and I'll hear, among gasps, from the rear: "A hundred and sixty!!"

Heart rate...

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Phew! I thought that was your speed :D

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Originally Posted by cunninghamair

YOU GO GIRL:D

In the long run, consider talking to him about this. My pet peeves are: when we ride up my nemesis hill, with me huffing and puffing and I'm just HOPING to make it to the top, while he rides next to me and giggles at the faces I'm making (curse words); or on a perfect day, when I feel like I'm pedaling like the wind, and I can hear him coasting behind me--JUST GO BY and let me enjoy my ride (I don't want to feel like I'm holding you up). DH and I had a few yelling/tearful exchanges before I learned to express my feelings: Don't coach me. I am pedaling as fast as I want to pedal--if you want to go by, go by. I feel nervous with you right on my back wheel. I don't want to climb that hill. This is supposed to be fun. Let me learn at my own pace, or I'll go ride with someone else.

The first bike DH bought me, when we started dating, didn't "stick" because of this. Ten years later, he's learned patience and my cycling skills have improved. He now quickly recognizes when I'm getting frustrated and backs off--although the occasional curse word still flies. He just apologized this week for pushing me out on a hill ride I didn't want to do--that ended with me turning around and coming back home early and alone.

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We could put this post next to my name, substitute my DH and it would be about me. I just worked it out this past month or two where I absolutely refuse to ride his ride. The tricky part was doing it with grace... "I'm fine, you go ahead, maybe I'll catch you later. Love ya'" I used to get angry, curse, cry. Now I smile and ride my ride.

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Originally Posted by OakLeaf

Hee hee.

How old is your friend?! 160 isn't gasp-inducingly low! (I guess on some hills it would be, though...)

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I have to admit that that was just a random number I picked. It's just kind of funny how on a hill I'll be concentrating on regular breathing and efficient pedal strokes and zen-ing out, while his highest priority is informing the rest of the world of his current heart rate. :rolleyes:

So Owlie...did you do it? How was your ride? :)

I think riding alone or with a partner that is less stress-inducing is a fine idea. By the way, the original post made it sound like he's drafting you, given that he's a foot behind your back tire. If he's such a strong rider, why is he sucking on your back wheel? How about having him pull you?

Wow, that sounds incredibly patronizing.
And what is cool about team kit?To me, it looks like boys playing dress ups!:p
( I do have a US postal cap, but all my gear is black, white, plain or blue>)
If he was so good at what he did, he'd ASK you, if you wanted a trainer.
I had this sort of rubbish for years( not in riding, other things) and now I dont take that crap!!!

I'm trying to get the courage to ride more by myself, I am mechanically inept. If something breaks I'm worried I won't get where I'm going on time, which would really only matter if I commute on my bike to work. Which is only 4 miles away, yet I have been a BIG chicken so far. I have ridden without my husband, but only when He's out of town and I'm desperate to ride. And only when a teenage driver is at home to pick me up if needed. I might try to take an REI repair class this month. My work schedule in September will allow me the time to ride to work with no justifiable excuses. Unfortunately that also involved a forced reduction of work hours which I am not happy about. I'm trying to see a bright spot.

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Originally Posted by beccaB

I'm trying to get the courage to ride more by myself, I am mechanically inept. If something breaks I'm worried I won't get where I'm going on time, which would really only matter if I commute on my bike to work. Which is only 4 miles away, yet I have been a BIG chicken so far. I have ridden without my husband, but only when He's out of town and I'm desperate to ride. And only when a teenage driver is at home to pick me up if needed. I might try to take an REI repair class this month. My work schedule in September will allow me the time to ride to work with no justifiable excuses. Unfortunately that also involved a forced reduction of work hours which I am not happy about. I'm trying to see a bright spot.

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Hope you find a solution for this. Sounds like you live in a rural area? And your roads must be rough?

I'm mechanically klutzed..even after other people showing me how to change a flat, etc. But still, I don't let it worry me much since I live in the (big, spawling) city...and our buses have bike racks.

It wasn't always like this. I lived in another city that didn't have bike racks but some of the bike routes ran near subway stations.

Yea, I'm pretty illogical. Considering the fact that we haven't had any car. So phoning him to pick me up if I had a flat, is pretty useless.

The reason for my slack attitude is that I went through first 3 years of returning to cycling with only 1 flat and I was averaging much higher annual mileage back then than these last few years. Back then it was 5,000-6,000 kms. annually.

It's pretty rural, a farming community,small town. Michigan roads have a reputation of being the worst in the whole country, but oddly enough we were out in the western part of the state near Kalamazoo, and we rode 30 miles of smooth roads. I wonder if lake effect snow causes an insulating effect and reduces the amount of freezing and thawing.

Hey Owlie, I second the suggestion to talk to him about this. Tell him how you feel when he's barking out stuff to you, right on your tail. Also, wear whatever the hell you want to!

It stormed yesterday, add that to killer cramps and there was no way I was getting off the couch. I went out this morning instead. I only did a very short ride (less than a mile) but I had to be back, and I have no patience for doing short loops many times. I just went around the north side of campus, using the walkways. (Sunday morning, so no one was out, it's apparently legal to ride a bike on the sidewalk in Ohio, and it's a college campus, so no one cares.) I went to the library and back. I keep forgetting how pretty this side of campus is. It's a beautiful day--mid 70s, sunny. There are lots of trees, so the paths are shaded. Best part? There are a couple of older churches in the area, and one of them backs onto that part of campus. I had found my groove, and as I zipped by the church, I realized it had the bells going. They were playing "Ode to Joy." That made me smile.
When I got back, my computer informed me that it is possible to be doing 79 mph on a bicycle in an elevator...then it ate all my numbers. Oh well.



As for the boyfriend:
I think he's trying to be helpful, but going about it in the wrong way. To him, this stuff is intuitive, and he doesn't quite get it that I need to actually learn this stuff. He thinks I need a coach--I don't. I'll take suggestions from him, but I need to figure out all this stuff on my own. What he wants is to get me to a point where we can do long rides together. I'd be happy to, if he didn't try to push me to that point while I'm still getting used to the road bike. His heart's in the right place, though. As for the sitting on my back wheel, he's probably not that close, just feels like it. I'm still getting used to the brakes, so it's a bit of self-preservation on his part.
I do tease him about the team kit, though. He used to (before I met him) have the Team Once jersey, socks, helmet...heck, even his old bike (OCR3) was yellow and black. I tease him about it--playing dress-up, was he? He looks like a large bumblebee in the jersey, so I dread to think what he looked like in the entire getup. Maybe I'll ask his mom if she's got pictures. Knowing her, she'll probably show me if she does.:p
He doesn't really care what I go out in, provided I'm wearing gloves and a helmet. It's just my being associated with someone who looks like he knows what he's doing makes people think that I know what I'm doing.

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Originally Posted by Owlie

I do tease him about the team kit, though. He used to (before I met him) have the Team Once jersey, socks, helmet...heck, even his old bike (OCR3) was yellow and black. I tease him about it--playing dress-up, was he? He looks like a large bumblebee in the jersey, so I dread to think what he looked like in the entire getup. Maybe I'll ask his mom if she's got pictures. Knowing her, she'll probably show me if she does.:p

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The cycling bumblebee. LOL. :D
Just go ahead and do alot of cycling on your own if you don't find anyone else besides BF. You'll learn to self-motivate yourself for much longer and harder rides. Then you will be able to enjoy rides with him more often.

Does your university offer any on-campus bike club/organization for rides, mechanical advice, etc.? Take every advantage of these free 'services' and camaraderie while you can.

When I returned to cycling, my partner did cycle with me. He did very little "coaching" or verbal pushing at me. But I also joined a women's cycling organization and was active in workshop/event/ride organizing for 5 yrs. It gave me a cycling focus elsewhere to learn but also have fun for times that supplemented enjoyable rides and touring with my partner. I did take a course on bike commuting skills also.

As for expectations by him for your cycling skills, you must drive this in terms of what you want and the style of cycling that suits you best --long term. Remember, your cycling goal is: to fall in love with cycling over and over...regardless of what other people tell you.