Remind me why I'm doing this??

I feel like I should put this is the new rider section since that's how I feel today. I had a shitty group ride last night. I was already in a mood (I've been a bit moody and/or depressed this week for some reason) and then being the only girl on the group ride (again) I wasn't expecting greatness from it. But even DH didn't wait up for me this week. Which was okay at first- I feel bad holding him back all the time and some of the other guys were hanging with me and cheering me on through the 20mph pacelines which were mostly flat. I just barely managed to keep up on those thanks to being behind a really tall guy who broke the wind super well. Tho when it came to hills, I was having some flashbacks to swim team- never making intervals and swimming 3 hrs straight- they'd wait at a corner after I'd huff my way up and just take off the second I got there, so no rest for me, which I was taking in stride, until we turned off to add a 'little extra loop' to the ordinary ride. Yeah, with one really long bigass hill!! Needless to say, I can't climb as fast as the men, but the normal thing to do is to pull the slow person up the hill by hanging out and breaking the wind for them. Which is what I do when there's the occasional slower person in the group. But maybe it's because I realize how much it sucks to be left behind. Anyway, it was kinda a set of rolly bits all going higher and higher up the hill, so the first bit I was maybe 25yds back, then by like #4 I was 1/3 mile back, then I get to the top of #6 to see that there's like 2 more and there's no one remotely in sight. At this point I'm out of blood sugar, haven't taken my evening anti-anxiety pill yet and have a major meltdown. So then I'm bawling my way at 8-9mph up this hill. What seems like an eternity later, I finally get sight of 2 of the guys sorta hanging about 20yds back from the rest of the group (like that was going to help), then the anger kicked in. I stopped myself from crying and just whizzed past them all, having decide they could all go to hell and I was going home. Which would have been great if they weren't faster than me and just caught up 2 mins later. Ugh. Makes me feel like a useless girl. And I'm really starting to hate riding. But I can't take a break with the MS150 less than 3 wks away. And DH said I should have said something- like I can scream 1/2 ahead of me for them to stop while sprinting my butt off up a hill and then wherever they'd stopped it was downhill, so I'd be fine then. I think it would have been different if the usual leader was there- he is good about actually riding back to the slow person/people and actually pulling them along if need be. I could have used that last night. Our weekends consist of not much more than being on the bikes the whole time and I still haven't figured out food/salt intake, so I'm alternating bonking and low salt headaches and just generally starting to hate riding.

Because it's fun.




...
But not when you are in the wrong group. You will have to insist with your DH that if this has a future, it will have to be at your pace.

Re the bonking - Have you tried having a good sports drink always at your disposition, with long-chain carbohydrates? should be all you need, but you need enough of it. Like a bottle every hour. you will need replacements.

(((Mayanorange)))

I'm sorry that you're having such a rough go of it. This sentence really stuck out at me, "Our weekends consist of not much more than being on the bikes the whole time and I still haven't figured out food/salt intake, so I'm alternating bonking and low salt headaches and just generally starting to hate riding. "

Is it possible that you're overtraining? Maybe it's time for a day off to do nothing more than putter around the house.

I've gone through phases where I really hated riding. And it does pass....but don't force yourself through it.

Hang in there!

sounds like you are overdoing it. Give yourself a break from cycling even a day.

and +1 on alpinerabbit

The people I ride with don't generally wait for me on hills until they get up to the top. Then as soon as they see me cresting they generally go ahead.
You need to talk to the people you ride with and let them know what is ok. If they can't be bothering to wait for you after you ASKED them to, then maybe they're the wrong team. Going uphill is pretty individual, or maybe your hills aren't as steep as ours (folks don't generally draft up hills)

And maybe you need to find a group with a different pace?

I'm sorry this is so hard for you. I'm generally in the back too, I know how it feels. And i'm not the only woman.

I just would say this- my husband and I found group riding to be somewhat unpleasant. Too competitive and hectic for our taste. We like to take long country rides and really stop and smell the flowers and hear the crickets and take our time when we please, as opposed to 'keeping up' with anyone. We love to ride us two together, or with a friend or two as well, or often just by ourselves as well.
Consider all the various ways of enjoying biking. :) Perhaps a little break from club riding would help you reduce stress?

Thanks guys. I needed some moral support. Yeah, I think I'm overtraining a smidge (or at least not getting enough me time recently). This past weekend we literally got up Sat morning, biked 45 miles (which took us about 4 hrs), I showered in 5 secs then went to cover the toy store for 4 hrs as a favor, then Sunday got up and biked 60 miles which took about 7 hrs including stopping at an open house, a lunch stop, and a few snack stops. And a 5 mile wrong turn that took us over a nasty hill that we then had to return over! I did discover my new favorite thing on Sunday tho- Gatorade X factor. It's just what I needed. My appetite tends to go south after about an hour, so I think I do need to make sure I have a drink with carbs in it.

I feel like I *have* to get at least 120 miles in this weekend, then was going to do an easy weekend next week, then the week after is the MS150. At least the good news is the climbing we did sunday in 60 miles is equal to the climbing in day one's 75 miles, so I know I can climb that far and survive! I'm pondering taking the train in tomorrow then biking a long route home (it's 30 miles normally) after a half day so I can have Sunday back as a rest day.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mayanorange

Thanks guys. I needed some moral support. Yeah, I think I'm overtraining a smidge (or at least not getting enough me time recently). This past weekend we literally got up Sat morning, biked 45 miles (which took us about 4 hrs), I showered in 5 secs then went to cover the toy store for 4 hrs as a favor, then Sunday got up and biked 60 miles which took about 7 hrs including stopping at an open house, a lunch stop, and a few snack stops. And a 5 mile wrong turn that took us over a nasty hill that we then had to return over! I did discover my new favorite thing on Sunday tho- Gatorade X factor. It's just what I needed. My appetite tends to go south after about an hour, so I think I do need to make sure I have a drink with carbs in it.

I feel like I *have* to get at least 120 miles in this weekend, then was going to do an easy weekend next week, then the week after is the MS150. At least the good news is the climbing we did sunday in 60 miles is equal to the climbing in day one's 75 miles, so I know I can climb that far and survive! I'm pondering taking the train in tomorrow then biking a long route home (it's 30 miles normally) after a half day so I can have Sunday back as a rest day.

---

Sounds like by now you've figured out some solutions for yourself. Do you tend to be more a group rider to stay motivated and remain a fit rider? The most important thing to aim for long-term, is trying different mechanisms to keep your love of cycling so that you will stay on the bike for many years ahead.

I go in group rides only a handful times annually. Other times for regular cycling throughout the year, I'm riding solo or with 1 other person (usually my partner, who also rides solo other times).

I've been cycling regularily for over past 17 yrs. since it is part of our lifestyle. I'm not a great fit cyclist and am not working towards being even a wow-she-elder-superstar on bike. Yes, I absolutely can claim some cycling years of 6,000 kms. annual mileage, other years abit lower totals. (This yr. will easily put in 7,000+ kms. because I have more personal time now for abit more cycling.) I can look back to several long cycling self-loaded trips as real accomplishments. So for me, cycling achievement is not measured on keeping up with the cycling pack. For my age bracket, my health is diagnosed by the doctor as excellent and my weight during all the cycling years has ranged 93-100 lbs.

And I eat well.

If I did group riding regularily which would have led me to inadvertedly benchmarking my performance against others alot, my ego (or patience with conforming to a group) would have shattered a long time ago and most likely I wouldn't have continued to do as much cycling as I have up to now. It does help to cycle with at least 1 other cyclist who is better so that one doesn't totally slack off in cycling style.

i feel no guilt for not being more cycling-competitive, not pushing myself to the ultimate limit...I've already demonstrated competitiveness in other areas of my life where the struggles are far greater.

If you find the right group of people, group rides are great fun, but if you don't, then notsomuch.

I hope you can find a good group (or friend or two) to ride with.

I'm sorry your having some bad days with your group.

Perhaps it's time to find a group more suited for you?

The group I ride with has a standing policy "hills are fair game, on your mark, get set, GO!" They wait at the top or bottom by soft pedaling (not actually stopping and waiting). When I ride with them I have to be of the mindset that it's OK to get dropped and ride alone, especially when they do big hills.

But that was made clear from the get go. I'd be really frustrated too if that wasn't supposed to be the policy and they kept leaving me in the dust.

And every time I ride with them I become a better rider, but I have to be in the right mindset for it or I too end up in grrrrr mode.

I think at some point we have all been dropped on a ride and it ALWAYS SUCKS. Nothing zaps my energy more than trying to play catch-up the whole ride. You are probably putting so much pressure on yourself because of this upcoming ride that you are actually wasting a lot of your energy trying to keep up with the group and worrying if you are going to be ready or not.

From the mileage you have talked about doing so far, I think you will be plenty prepared. Try to just relax and think of what comes after the MS150, what cycling things can you do JUST FOR FUN without the pressure of an upcoming event. You might try doing some training rides alone so you can hone in on your exertion levels, find a good pace and focus on your refueling. I find cycling alone makes me stronger when I do ride in a group.

I agree with ttaylor. Sounds to me like you are very prepared for the MS ride. It is not a race. It is a charity ride! :)

It is possible you didnt have the best ride with the best group that night but I wouldnt let one experience set the tone for the fantastic things you are doing.

Personally I like to ride with stronger riders on the weekly group ride because my riding partner is not as strong as me. I can push more when I ride solo but the group can really make me push that little bit more. I can really see and feel a difference afterward in my speed and endurance.

tt and ariel- thanks guys. I haven't done a big ride before. All I have to go on is a couple suggested training things I found online who insist you should do about 80% of the final distance before the big ride, so that's why I have been aiming there. I'd like to keep up a decent pace although I tend to be a stop and smell the roses cyclist. DH isn't, so we both kinda compromise on speed. We've been joining this wed night group as a shorter let's go fast ride, but it alternates between like last night where the boys dust one or both of us and the leader asking us to take the slow group who usually didn't start training as early as us, so it's a pleasant ride, but not a speed workout.

Seriously, you are going to do just fine if you find a good pace and just keep it. Make sure to drink, eat and rest before you think you need to. If you wait until you are actually feeling thirsty or hungry or tired, it takes you a lot longer to recover and you'll be heading straight for BONK. Try to enjoy the event, like Ariel said, it isn't a race and you will feel a lot better if you finish strong than if you trudge through the finish line with your last bit of energy. Since this is a big group ride, it should be fairly easy to find a nice group that is going your pace.

My GF just finished her first century and she had major doubts about whether she had trained enough. I kept telling her she was way more prepared than she thought. She finished and felt great at the end.

Mayanorange! I totally know how you feel! I too have been at a place in my life when I took anti-anxiety meds and being late taking one always put me in a bad place!

Nobody mentioned that sometimes riding w/ guys just sucks. Pretty much I enjoy riding w/ guys only if its MY ride and they ride at MY pace. My rule w/ my BF is he can either ride only in his little ring or bring his mountain bike. My regular group rides are with women who never let anyone crash and burn. In fact I have been pushed up hills in that ride and I have also pushed a gal up a hill. You just need to find the right group! Don't let some silly boys kill your passion for the bike!

Also, maybe you want to pack an emergency gu *just in case*? It never hurts to have a little extra...

I did my first century last fall and my longest ride going into it was 65 miles. Riding strong on shorter rides, I think, allowed me to do the century at a decent pace even with the additional miles. Also, the first 30 miles were a breeze due to the size and speed of the group like a big peleton just pulling us along. I think we averages 22+mph for that first 30 miles!

Riding with guys can suck but on the other hand, the guys I ride with regularly think riding with me sucks :p They dont like getting beat by a girl.

A women's only group ride was suggested to me by a friend, and I've gone twice now. I've never ridden so hard for so long, but it was great. While I was by far the slowest/weakest rider, they didn't drop me. When I started to fall behind despite my max effort, a stronger rider would come along, put her arm around my waist and give me a boost. I wasn't expecting that. But boy did it make the difference between me quitting and calling DH to come get me, and sticking it out to the finish.

I know I'll get faster and stronger as I keep going back. It also has motivated me to work on my weaknesses between group rides.

I'm looking forward to the day I'm helping a weaker rider up a hill.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Loraura

A women's only group ride was suggested to me by a friend, and I've gone twice now. I've never ridden so hard for so long, but it was great. While I was by far the slowest/weakest rider, they didn't drop me. When I started to fall behind despite my max effort, a stronger rider would come along, put her arm around my waist and give me a boost. I wasn't expecting that. But boy did it make the difference between me quitting and calling DH to come get me, and sticking it out to the finish.

I know I'll get faster and stronger as I keep going back. It also has motivated me to work on my weaknesses between group rides.

I'm looking forward to the day I'm helping a weaker rider up a hill.

---

Sounds like you found a really awesome women's group!

I regularly torture myself by riding with a group of hothead boys. Sometimes, they help me out if I'm lagging. Sometimes, they don't. Either way, so long as I can keep my cool, it makes me a stronger cyclist. There would be no way I could learn to hang on to a paceline going 28mph if I didn't train with them. However, I cannot do that every ride. Not just physically, but mentally. There are days where I need to do tempo or ride with the ladies or even ride solo. If I'm not feeling it, I cannot keep chasing down egotistical guys. It's miserable. Doing it fairly frequently the past year or so has made it a lot easier to keep up on a majority of the hills. I am also no longer the slowest a lot of the time, so while I may still get dropped, it's a little easier not being the only one getting dropped.

You need to figure out your food and fluids intake. You need to do some training that makes you happy. But if you have goals of improving drastically to one day be able to keep up with a group like this (my goal is to be a stronger racer, for example), then sometimes you also need to HTFU. Getting furious is totally understandable. If you do these kinds of ultra-challenging group rides, the suffering level is high.

This is from the perspective of someone who races and who enjoys the company of the guys (and so I would like to make riding with them more enjoyable). This kind of training is totally not necessary for making it through things like the MS150.

[QUOTE=aicabsolut;436631]. If I'm not feeling it, I cannot keep chasing down egotistical guys.



My coach (a guy in touch with his feminine) side calls those "ego-driven hammerfests."

Mayanorange
When I ride with a group, I'm generally the only woman. But there is a mix of abilities. Riding with stronger people will make you stronger; the suffering is great. It all depends on what you want. And it doesn't sound like the hammerfest is your type of riding right now.

Oh my...(((hugs))) to you! I totally get it.

I went out something like your last ride w/a guy pal mtb. Omg, my body was in so much pain in ways my docs advised me against. All in the effort to 'keep up'. Totally failed. The worst pain came from sobbing so hard on the vehicle ride home. My soul was just crushed.

Thus, I just stayed riding alone post that. Was killing my will in ways too. Out of the blue... I run into an old aquaint that tells me she took up cycling. The group rides didn't work for her. Her DH is a hammer-head... they can't ride together as a couple etc.

Our first ride together had to be the best ride I've ever had since I re-found my love for a bike:).

Before that, I have literally thought about starting my own ladies riding group thru my gym. Or just posting a bullentin board note somewhere for a pal to train for my first century. This is outta my ride pal's relm training wise for this season.

Do these hammerhead guys have any GFs etc. that need ride pals?

Food... I like Lara bars as a take along for food. Recently I have found that Club Crackers work great before a ride and post. I know that's not very high tech:o. But, they are salty. They are carbs. Digest easily. I mean really... I'd never thought a dumb lil salty cracker could work such wonders for me on hydration.

Chin up, GF... you are not alone!:cool:

I have heard a local , nice guy rider warn me that ' the guys are pretty competitive'.

All I can add is, be happy you have your health. I can only ride around the block sometimes, so someone like you, esp being a woman knocks my socks off.
Your a trouper, and amazing and I have no doubt your heart in riding is a big and courageous one. Dont let it break over silly guys. They get that testosterone burst from heavy competition and that's a male advantage.
Every club ride for you ,is a stage race it sounds like!
Dont give up.
Someday, I swear I am riding on the 'big boys playground'( at least in back on intermediate rides) if I die trying!!! Viva la femme!!