Saving the Day on my Bike

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10-19-2008, 04:18 PM
smurfalicious

Saving the Day on my Bike

I don't know how to begin this because I'm still a little rattled and maybe what I did was stupid to a point. When you're not sheltered in your car you see and hear a lot more while commuting.

I left work a little early today because it was beyond slow and I was tired. Pedaling home I saw a car pulled over on the opposite side of the road and two girls on my side staring. As I got closer I heard yelling and then I saw what was going on. The driver of the vehicle had pulled his young female passenger out and was yelling at her, hitting her, and choking her. My heart rate soared and my body coursed with adrenaline and fear. I've been here before.

When I was fourteen my father came to pick me up from the barn to attend my brother's high school graduation. He knew I was attending with my mother, she actually took the time to buy me something to wear. He was angry I wasn't ready and I calmly reminded him that I was going with my mom. Instantly he lit up like a firecracker and started screaming in my face as my best friend looked on in horror.

He proceeded to pull me out of the stall I was cleaning and slammed me up against a concrete wall. At that point I left my body and went silent. I was good at that by then.

Those who saw it go down said he had his hands around my neck and was choking me. I don't remember much, just how much the adults around failed me out of fear.

Right after that my mom worked to get me out of there while my dad did everything in his manipulative powers to stop her. At the end of the school year we packed my things in a hurry and got out. When I spoke with the social worker they told be that in essence no bruises, no case. I guess emotional scars aren't good enough, but if someone had called, maybe things would be different.

So I stopped with all the stopping power aging Shimano 600 brakes could offer and whipped my cell phone out of my messenger bag. Suddenly I knew north from south and could tell them their direction of travel. I knew car makes and models and every cross street in town.

What amazed me most is that while I stood there on the phone, the altercation continued. What scared me most is that the woman I assume was this man's wife calmly took over driving while he got in the back presumably to continue beating on his daughter. Wow, what a home life that must be if she allows it. Wonder how often he wails on her? The driver who pulled up behind them crossed the street as they left and repeated what he saw to the 911 operator.

I hope they find him, and I hope she's okay. I hope she doesn't have to live like this regularly or ever again for that matter. I pray she doesn't spend the rest of her life in crappy relationships because that's what she's learned as normal. And for once I'm happy that cyclists are so invisible to motorists.
10-19-2008, 04:28 PM
evangundy

wow smurf, I'm glad you left work early. I too hope the police locate that family, and help to set things right. No one should have to grow up that way.
Edna
10-19-2008, 04:32 PM
Tuckervill

Thanks for calling. You did the right thing.

A similar thing happened in the drive-up window of the water utility I worked for. Fortunately, the driver in front of the car saw it happening too, and wouldn't pull forward, and someone else was behind. We called police and he was carted off.

Karen
10-19-2008, 04:41 PM
Irulan

thank you for doing the right thing. I wish you lots of healing.
10-19-2008, 04:49 PM
OakLeaf

wow Smurf. Thanks for doing the right thing.

I hope all the same things you hope for the girl. I also hope the guy spends at least one night in jail over this... although I don't have any illusions that that will actually happen. And I hope that you are healed from anything that happened to you - and if not, that healing continues to happen for you.
10-19-2008, 05:30 PM
shootingstar

Scary...good that you tried to reach 911. It may be worthwhile to ask police if they were able to apprehend the abusive guy.

You are a survivor, smurf.
10-19-2008, 05:52 PM
gingerale

I certainly pray that girl has a hero somewhere that steps up and helps her like you tried to do.
10-19-2008, 05:57 PM
smurfalicious

Thanks ladies. Feel free to direct any healing energy towards that girl. I think the fact that I was able to stand up for that girl and call without being stupid and putting a 52 tooth chain ring scar on the guy's forehead was the proof I needed that I've healed up okay. It's scary to get involved with something like that, but scarier to think what may happen if you don't.
10-19-2008, 06:07 PM
polly4711

Smurf,

Congrats on your recovery. Being a strong person and dealing with your own issues has allowed another person to be benefited. I had something bad happen in my life that caused similar scars. I felt selfish pay attention to my own self rather than focusing good on other people. I realized that it is important to heal one's self before you can be a thorough light of goodness to the rest of the world.

thank you for all that you have done

polly
10-19-2008, 06:27 PM
TahoeDirtGirl

Smurf, you are right, for once it was good to be the invisible cyclist...hopefully you started a chain reaction for the women in that family that lets them know life doesn't have to be that crappy...I had been in a similar situation a very long time ago and it's amazing the clarity we get when we need to be...
10-19-2008, 06:37 PM
sgtiger

Smurf, thank-you. Hopefully, the proper authorities will be able to intervene and that she will be able to receive the help she needs to overcome her own scars.
10-19-2008, 09:39 PM
Running Mommy

smurf there was a REASON it was slow that day.. Those women needed you, but their angels couldn't get to them. So they summoned you.
THANK YOU
10-19-2008, 09:55 PM
Grog

Thank you, thank you, thank you.......
10-19-2008, 10:32 PM
crazycanuck

good

Smurf-you're a good woman :)
10-19-2008, 10:35 PM
lph

yea, smurf, you are. Well done indeed!
10-19-2008, 10:46 PM
smurfalicious

Quote:

Originally Posted by Running Mommy

smurf there was a REASON it was slow that day.. Those women needed you, but their angels couldn't get to them. So they summoned you.
THANK YOU

Thanks, I needed that. I was feeling really heroic at first and now it's weighing pretty heavy on me. I don't think it was just their angels involved. I really think this was kind of a passage for me. To be able to make things right felt good, but until I know the results it rings hollow.

Everything happens for a reason though, and I'm confident I wouldn't have left work early if it wasn't going to benefit this girl and her mother. It was an act both selfish and selfless but I hope it pans out.
10-20-2008, 04:36 AM
Zen

Thank you, Smurf.
All too often people will do nothing in certain situations.
10-20-2008, 05:09 AM
lph

smurf - no-one should have to go through stuff like that growing up, but that experience was probably what triggered you to understand what was going on so fast and DO something about it. Bad things can lead to good things. I think this is one of those.
10-20-2008, 11:06 AM
RoadRaven

Quote:

Originally Posted by smurfalicious

I don't know how to begin this because I'm still a little rattled and maybe what I did was stupid to a point.

I don't think it was stupid at all
You didn't get involved with them/the "altercation" which would have placed you at risk and perhaps incited further rage, but you were still an advocate for the powerless in that position

You know what its like to have no power, and on this day you rose beyond that and not only took back your power, but also endeavoured to help the woman and child get some power in their lives too.

You did the best you could and thats all anyone can ask
Thats all I asked for once, and someone did something similar to you, and it did make a difference

You are a fine human being, Smurf
Thank you
10-20-2008, 11:37 AM
Biciclista

Dear Smurf
You're not the only one who was at the mercy of so called parents when you realized that no one was going to protect you except you.
I am proud to know that you called the police on these people. Phonecalls from strangers sometimes do more good than from family members because you don't have a personal agenda.

You made the world a little better.
10-20-2008, 12:05 PM
jesvetmed

Just adding my Thank You here... and admiration. We all too often feel like it isn't our business. But everyone else is right - that poor girl is powerless if no one is standing up for her. If people keep complaining about the behavior, maybe it will bring enough attention to help her in some small way.

Be proud of yourself -- not only for what you did for the girl, but for coming as far as you have.
10-20-2008, 12:33 PM
BleeckerSt_Girl

Quote:

Originally Posted by smurfalicious

I left work a little early today because it was beyond slow and I was tired. Pedaling home I saw a car pulled over on the opposite side of the road and two girls on my side staring. As I got closer I heard yelling and then I saw what was going on. The driver of the vehicle had pulled his young female passenger out and was yelling at her, hitting her, and choking her.....
So I stopped with all the stopping power aging Shimano 600 brakes could offer and whipped my cell phone out of my messenger bag. Suddenly I knew north from south and could tell them their direction of travel. I knew car makes and models and every cross street in town.....
What amazed me most is that while I stood there on the phone, the altercation continued. What scared me most is that the woman I assume was this man's wife calmly took over driving while he got in the back presumably to continue beating on his daughter. Wow, what a home life that must be if she allows it. Wonder how often he wails on her? The driver who pulled up behind them crossed the street as they left and repeated what he saw to the 911 operator.

Good that you called it in.
I would hope that anybody who saw a man yelling at, hitting, and choking a girl (regardless of whether or not he was a family member) would pull out their cell phone and call 911 and give them the car's license plate number!
10-20-2008, 03:35 PM
Grog

Quote:

Originally Posted by BleeckerSt_Girl

Good that you called it in.
I would hope that anybody who saw a man yelling at, hitting, and choking a girl (regardless of whether or not he was a family member) would pull out their cell phone and call 911 and give them the car's license plate number!

Replace "a girl" with "me" in this sentence and it drives the meaning home even more forcefully...

I can't stop thinking about this Smurf. I am really glad you did something about it.
10-20-2008, 04:39 PM
wildhawk

Bless you Smurf. There was clearly a reason that you were there when needed for this poor girl and that you have the compassion and understanding of what she is going through. And is is a shame that most people do not want to get involved in domestic situations and would just drive on by. That is why I always have my cell phone charged up and on my bike within clear reach - you never know what you will encounter in your rides. Hugs to you.