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Certain family members seem to think what I'm doing is a waste of time. They just don't get it. I'm not sure I do either, but I dream about riding. I dream about my bike. I love reading what people talk about here.
I guess it's the passion and liberty that I enjoy.
Anyone here go through that? Sometimes you doubt yourself?
I'm not going to stop riding either way, maybe they're threatened by it. :(
Wilda S.
Oh gosh yes! I go through variations of the "who am I kidding" and "what was I thinking" themes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilda S
And yet I muddle through. :D
My advice? Don't let the voices outside or inside your head stop you.
Welcome Wilda!
Make fun of me? Not so much. But poor dear husband gets it constantly at work and from friends. This weekend it was our tipsy friend insisting on knowing how far up my husband shaved his legs. Or more vulgarly if he shaved is anatomy too. :eek:
Doubt myself? I try not to. I try to channel my mom "Can't never could" she said all throughout my childhood. But yes, I doubt myself. When I agree to a challenging ride I think "Can I? No I can't" but I do it and survive sometimes I even thrive. Do I ever think I am devoting to much time to watching cycling, riding or reading about cycling? Not really but then again I tend to be a bit obsessive (passionate?).
Listen to Jobob, wise advice about hushing those voices. ;)
This is my response to people who insert their opinions where it's unwanted:
"What you think of me is none of my business."
Nobody makes fun of me for cycling because I'm an oddity all around in my little town for lots of other things. And I do these things with robust confidence, which makes it hard to criticize!
I'm sure the people I know in town who don't understand cycling had plenty of thoughts about it when we first met 4 years ago, but many of them were in AWE on Saturday when I told them my husband had just completed his first century. It was so priceless to hear their reaction while we were sitting at our sons' baseball game. People who may have thought we were nuts at first, now have a new found respect. I could see it in their faces.
Karen
I also tend to write it off as masked jealousy. They want to have the drive to do something like this. Making fun of you is their way of hiding they feel they couldn't do it. At least in some cases I believe it to be true.
Of course! I'm lucky that this is my husband's and my new hobby, so he understands. His golf clubs are collecting dust in the basement. However people at work think I'm nuts. They mostly ask "why?" I usually have some snappy answer like, "because there's a restaurant in Hermann/Washington/Alton (fill in the blank)" or we wanted to see the bridge/Lewis & Clark/standing rock (fill in the blank)," but then it usually turns to awe. They usually say, "wow, that's cool" or silence as they contemplate if they could do something so crazy. I'm sure most people don't believe they could do it themselves. I usually give a small pep talk such as, "You should try it. You can always pick up a bike at a garage sale to see if you like it. There's all levels of fitness out on the Katy/Creve Couer/Forest Park (fill in the blank) and if you can get a family/friend/SO to go with you, it's even more fun. And it's good for you!"
One friend I didn't even try to convince, went and bought a bike after I visited. I hung my head out the window of her car in LA and whined everytime we passed a biker on the paved path (It was a Saturday and I was missing a training ride for my century). When I went to show her the pictures on my computer, they all turned out to be pics of bikes or pics from bike rides. She called me a week later and said they bought bikes--I made it sound so fun!
However, something strange just happened with my sis. My DH convinced my brother-in-law to do a century. I jumped in halfway through their training. As we got to our 50, 60, 70 miles training weeks, my sis couldn't/wouldn't keep up. I explained that we needed a month to finish this up, and then we could go back to our usual cycling. I was surprised when BIL called the week before and said he was still in--I thought he had bailed. Whether it was related to the cycling or not, she refused to participate in our century weekend--not even meeting us at the finish. I'm still waiting her to cool off, so we can go back to our casual rides. :( I'm hoping she's mad at him and not me!
Doubt myself? All the time. But I'm pretty bull-headed. Not a natural athlete, but stubborn. Tell me I can't and I WILL! (DH learned that very early on--I don't respond well to NO)
You should make fun of their cholesterol.... or bait them into climbing a flight of stairs with you. Laugh at how out of breath they are.
Seriously... riding is awesome. I agree that it sounds like a bit of jealousy or just being afraid of what they don't understand.
Yup that is me. Not athletic at all (frikking DH is and it annoys me) but if I am going to do something and really tell myself I will, I do! Can't never could, man I hated my mom for saying that as a kid now I want to tattoo it on me for inspiration! Or as DH's stepmom said to him with her thick Missouri drawl "CAN'T DIED WHEN HE WAS A PUP, DO IT!" :pQuote:
Originally Posted by cunninghamair
I get it in winter. They all think I'm nuts in winter.
What I get more is my mother worrying about me. "I don't like to think of you riding on those dark, slick roads."
"Ma. 3/4 of it is rural and bike path. I'm lit up like a Christmas tree. I'm careful."
"Yes but I know Rhode Island drivers."
haha.
I worry about my own daughter riding. I guess it's a mom thing.
I think people are crazy NOT to ride, if they are able.
Call me judgemental.
Alternately I've heard it as "can't died trying to eat soup with a fork"Quote:
Originally Posted by Aggie_Ama
I NEVER think I CAN, but somehow mostly I do, in one fasion or another.
No one makes fun of me for riding, but sometimes I think they are probably puzzled..."116.9 miles in one week-end? But she's so fat...."
Barbara
I had this issue earlier in the year (started a thread on it somewhere). I used to be heavy, then I dieted and lost weight. For several years it was lots of negative comments and pointing out every time I ate something "bad". "OH! Look at Miss Diet eating cake! That's not healthy!" No, it's not, but you don't see me every other day of the week when I'm eating well. It was almost like they wanted me to slip up and go back to my old ways.
Last year I got into cycling. At first it was "You'll never be able to finish that ride." Then it progressed to "You're working out too much! You're too skinny!" This summer my entire family (parents and two sets of aunts/uncles) bought bikes:rolleyes: Most of them didn't use them, but my parents have really taken to it and are looking into buying trainers so they can keep riding through the winter!
It was really hard to learn how to shrug off their negativity. You have to do your own thing and what you know is right for you. I think they're afraid of change and maybe just a little upset about their own weight/fitness issues and that I've done something about mine and stuck to it. That said, I'm as supportive as possible with my parents. I want them to keep riding, to be healthy. It's nice to know we have at least this in common.
Well! I don't feel alone now!
I'm gonna go ride my bike...maybe back and forth in front of their house a couple of times and stick my tongue out:D
Thanks for the encouragement!
Wilda S
I don't get made fun of by family, but they just don't get it. I have my SO and my best friend who are as addicted as I am, so I save all of my babbling for them.
Cunning..maybe your sister did feel abit left out. I had to stop and wait for my sister who was visiting me and on a ride with me.Quote:
Originally Posted by cunninghamair
And this is a sister who jogs 5 kms. each time regularily..so she is fitness-oriented.
To encourage family members to cycle....it helps them that you the leader, will be there to encourage and in sightline on a ride together. Otherwise sis sees no point riding with you.
If it weren't cycling in my case, it would be something else.
If people need to put me down, that's their biz - though it does matter. Right now a couple of board members in our bike club want me *off* the board... apparently one of 'em thinks all this commuting stuff is NOT what the club should be about (so advocacy should be eliminated from what we do) - it should be about road biking for fitness and fun.
(At first I was going to let 'em have the club and see what good it did to alienate all but the elite... but then I re-thunk it... I'm still thinking hard and talking to other folks who are of a like mind...I just might run for prez.)
Well I don't know what they might be saying behind my back, but no one in my family makes fun of me or hassles me about what I do. We all have different interests and it seems to work fine for us.
I guess I'm lucky.
Cycling has given me so much more confidence in myself and silenced a lot of the negative voices in my head. I don't really get made fun of, until people find out that I named my bikes. :) Anyway, there so much crap that I get for many other things, especially from my family, but I just keep riding. Like it said, it silences those voices. My coworkers make comments about the changes in my body and are awed that I ride where and how much I do, but they're really cool with it. I've even started advising some of them on what kind of bikes to get and where to start riding so they can get comfortable on their new bikes. That's a great feeling.
My sister and my mother, the most critical people I have ever met, really don't understand. My sister pokes fun because she thinks it's ridiculous that I put on this huge helmet and tighter clothes and ride for miles and miles and keep track of it on a bike computer. My mom is just critical of how my body is changing. She's been trying to get to me to turn into a stick person for years and while she thinks I look good, she thinks that I'm getting too many muscles blah blah. Like I said, I just ride to quiet the voices. And I love it so I don't really worry about it. I get made fun of more from other riders who don't like the fact that I was riding on the road with my mountain bike or because I don't have bike shorts yet or proper cycling shoes.
I jsut like to ride.
Don't listen to the voices. just enjoy yourself. It's a lot of fun.
Gray
My husband works at a papermill that's about a 10 mile bike ride from our house. Occasionally, he'll cycle to work and is ridiculed mercilessly. Of course, those who ridicule him are overweight and in bad health, and he is 5'8" tall, 150 lbs....hmmmm.....
He gets remarks like "Why are you trying to lose weight? You're skinny already" (He's not trying to lose weight) He generally tells them it's about his health. But still, he gets a lot of negative comments.
My 10 year old son just started riding his bike to school - less than a mile from us. He was afraid of being teased about wearing his helmet b/c "no one else ever does". Fortunately, the example of my hubby and me ALWAYS wearing our helmets, and telling him that pro cyclists always wear them, too, helped convince him. Oh, and telling him that actually, in Georgia it's a law for kids to wear a helmet and all those kids who aren't are breaking the law...he's all about being "legal" lol!!
Anyway, they get made fun of, but they keep cycling. So, good for them!
Yes, I'm the ODD(or strange) one in my department at work, imagine what out of 60 people. Lets see, because, I ride a bike, kayak, do woodworking, have 7 cats & 2 dogs, ride a motorcycle and I'm gay. I guess I'm use to it, doesn't bother me, I do my own thing and I'm my own person. :)
Quite the opposite concerning my family. My sisters were always amazed, jealous, in awe and now one and now the other bought bikes and are trying to get into cycling. I am now getting emails, phone calls, and messages on my home phone, cell phone, and computer on subjects as varied as "saddles", "what type of bike is right for me", "how do I find good roads/trails in my area", "how do you work up to 20, 30, 50, 100 miles", "when you come visit me we will have to go riding together", and from my sister in Iowa . . . maybe some day we could do the RAGRAI together! What have I created?!!!
:D
Well....my mother and my grandmother constantly tell me that "I'm gonna have a heart attack" riding my bike. Nope - doc has cleared it and I have no risk factors. I keep telling them I ride so I won't have a heart attack. It hasn't sunk in yet.
CA
I've had two complete strangers ask me about bike riding as I am coming and going from work. As the conversation progresses about how much I ride, where, etc., both have asked why I'm so fat if I ride so much. :( I've also gotten the comment, " gee your a really strong rider for someone so heavy" :eek: It does kinda sting. I just know they are looking at me and thinking no way she rides that much . . . It bugs the heck out of me that I am still so overweight and a bit of a mystery too. But I still keep plugging away at it. Although I sometimes get the whole "why bother" mentality. But, I'm hooked on cycling and my daily commuting. It's good for me. Even if I'm not losing weight, I enjoy it! bikerHenQuote:
Originally Posted by BarbaraAlys
Well, let's see...
Anytime I drive my vehicle down a road I ride my bike on, I can't stop visualizing the bike (I kinda space out and forget I'm suppose to be concentrating on driving:eek:).
I love spin class inside, any music I hear, I can't stop thinking about what my cadence would be to the beats per minute of the tune:rolleyes:.
And my screen saver on my cell phone is a drop on a mtb trail I ride that I have chickened out all season going down it... it's there to stare at me every day in the face until I ride it like I own it:cool:.
Sooo... nope, from where I see it, things like having night time dreams about your bike is perfectly normal:D.
I get a lot of "Really? You ride a bike? YOU did the MS150 and finished??" Yeah, I do and I did.
I have noticed that a lot of people are negative to you when you are doing something you really love and are happy about. I have started a new career path in my life, and some people have been...less than supportive.
Maybe they are jealous that you are doing something that makes you happy and they are unhappy. Convince them to get a bike and see how they like it. :)
Maybe one day if you need to shut someone down, you could tell them: "Funny that you ask. Actually I really struggle to keep the weight ON because I love going downhill FAST so much."Quote:
Originally Posted by bikerHen
I've seen you ride. You're WAY fitter than a lot of skinny people.
I ditto Grog on that score, Bikerhen. And you're a lot of fun, too.
At first everyone thought it was cool, an old lady lab manager riding her bike to work. They never expected it to last.
Then they got sullen when I rode in the rain.
They they snickered among themselves that I didn't ride the 50 yards from the bus stop to the lab door. (It took longer to put on the helmet, reattach the panniers, and dodge traffic than it took to walk the bike 50 yards.) Of course they assumed that meant I was tiring of biking....
Then they saw Amazon boxes arriving with winter riding gear.....
Some are still very supportive but even they think it's just very very very odd.
I shrug and ride on. It makes me feel good, no it makes me feel GREAT to ride a bike, to leave the car behind, to reacquaint myself with weather and day length and seasonal changes up close and personal.
I have yet to find a single down side to riding a bike but then, it's all in one's attitude.
So just smile like Mona Lisa with your secret that you've tried to share and which fell on deaf ears.
My parents used to worry about my riding "on the roads" as if that was so much more dangerous that riding on mountain trails! Obviously my family has never seen me on a mountain bike - that's the only time I ever get hurt! I'm a menance on studded tires! :p
No one I know thinks I'm weird for riding (at least, not that they've told me!). In fact, I used to get lots of people telling me that I was an inspiration to them at my last job. As word gets out how far I commute now, I'm finding that people are starting to think the same thing...I'm some sort of inspiration.
I think it's because I'm female, I'm overweight, and I'm just a regular person. I figure they are probably thinking that if I can do it, so can they. It pleases me to no end! :)
Wilda--I forgot to directly reply to you. The thrill of biking is indescribable. Just taking a three minute ride to the 7-11 just amazes me every time. It just feels good and those who haven't experienced true joy can't possibly understand until they've been there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilda S
I don't think the feeling EVER goes away. (I still very vividly remember my very first bike ride when I was able to balance the bike....and that was 50 years ago.)
Isn't that an amazing gift and miracle to have found something so pleasing on so many levels!
My friends seem to admire me for getting out there and riding which is nice. I'm lucky. Everyone has been really supportive, in a they think I'm sort of crazy for trying to ride across the state of Iowa kind of way. LOL!
I also ride my bike to my workout place and do a class there every day and they think it's funny that I ride to work out. LOL
So many people once they try it get hooked.
*Most* people around here admire my riding. OTOH, it's my mindset to see the positive reactions and kinda miss the negatives.
I have no intention of changing that habit, tho' I do try to be aware :)