selfish jerks at the gym

Okay I'm sorry that this is going to be a cranky post, but if I don't get this out of me I'm going to explode!

I think my gym is offering discount memberships to jerks. Since the beginning of the year there are a bunch of new members who think nothing of monopolizing equipment in the free weight area. They fall into two categories:

- workout buddies who spend all night using the same equipment, like doing endless sets on the one and only smith rack with long breaks in between where they slooooooowly walk all the way across the gym to the water fountain and then sloooooowly walk back with a break to watch the tv for a few minutes.

- guys who think it's perfectly fine to set up three pieces of equipment at once and go from one to the other in an endless loop.

Invariably these people are using really heavy weights or otherwise have the equipment set up in way that it's not feasible to try to work in with them because it would take too long to change the setup between what they use and what I want. So those of us who actually grasp concepts like "sharing" and "taking turns" wind up having to rearrange our workouts and stand around doing nothing while we wait for Selfish Guy/s to finish up and move on.

It's just rude.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Hi,

honestly that sucks! I hate when people do that in the gym. You have several possibilities what to do:

• Don't say anything and quietly steam inside
• Change gyms
• Politely explain them the situation.

Of course, I favor the last one. Very often (especially true for men), people are not rude on purpose, they just don't realize the results of their actions and they are not emphatic enough to understand how you feel. So, something like this might go a long way:
"Hi, I have been watching you for quite a while now - you got a heavy set up here. I am still working on much smaller weights but I hope one day I will be as athletic as you" (note: Little shmoozing never hurts, it gives you the upper hand) "But you know, my problem is that I have very limited time in the gym and when you set 3 machines just for yourself, it is almost impossible for me to use them because you make me wait to long. Can we work something out?"

If they are jerks even after that, just go and steal one machine. At that point, they deserve it. But I bet, they will be nice and who knows, you might even get a work out buddy out of it.

Martina
P.S. Of course, edit everything for English. I have never fully mastered that language :)

Can you ask the staff at the gym to step in and ask them to be more considerate?

I used to work at a gym and would try to pay attention when something like that happened and would gently remind the offender that everyone is trying to use the equipment. If I didn't notice and a member asked me for help, I'd happily step in. That's what the staff is for.

Good luck, I know that's frustrating.

Hey, those sound like the same guys that are in MY gym! But I am usually doing cardio, so I don't have to deal with them.

Can you change the time you go so you can avoid the testosterone time?

At least they aren't sitting around BSing with each other while ignoring you. I guess either way, it stinks.

I would go to the gym staff and tell them your issue. Let them deal with it. I know what you are talking about with the enormous weights, that's just not going to happen. My gym has two machines, maybe it needs to be pointed out that on their next equipment purchase they should invest in another?

That or go a half hour earlier than usual and take over the machine?

Why not just say, "scuze me, I am going to work my sets in between your sets" or something like that?

I suggest politely asking them if you can train in. If you get a jerk-type answer, don't be surprised. I've found that meathead-types tend to disrespect women who want to use free weights.

You could also ask the gym to add equipment, since people are waiting to use certain things. I'd also recommend learning to use completely free weights - there's nothing you can do on a smith machine that you can't do without it, you just will need to use lighter weight. You can often also swap out cable machines with free weights to train the same muscle groups if all the benches are taken. This will also give your body a new challenge and could take your workouts to the next level.

I just want to offer my sympathy. When my gym is crowded, it's tough to work in on the machines. I have a certain routine that I do and try to mix up the order but I don't sit there between sets. I see SO many guys doing that. They just rest on the machine between sets.

It makes me crazy too.

As a middle aged woman who works out at the University gym I tend to adopt the maternal tone..."young man, I need to move some of those weights so I can work in". They might look a little miffed but they do it.

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Originally Posted by Pax

As a middle aged woman who works out at the University gym I tend to adopt the maternal tone..."young man, I need to move some of those weights so I can work in". They might look a little miffed but they do it.

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Bet they are even more miffed when middle aged women easily move their weights ;) :cool:

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Originally Posted by Trek420

Bet they are even more miffed when middle aged women easily move their weights ;) :cool:

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In that vein, there is a young male Asian student who works out faithfully at the same time I'm there, he struggles and groans while doing curls with...pink plastic coated 5lb. weights. :D He's so sincere that I try to give him an encouraging nod now and then, but it is pretty hilarious.

You could also try pointing out to them that resting between sets is a waste - they should be supersetting (doing another exercise in place of rest between sets) to burn more calories, get more cut, grow more muscle, etc. Generally the time it takes to do a set of another exercise is LESS time than they're standing around for, so it will get them off the machine faster, and they can do the same workout in 1/2 the time, which gets them out of the gym faster. Bonus for you!

I think you should just take Flur and Pax with you next time; they'll take care of it.

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Originally Posted by Pax

In that vein, there is a young male Asian student who works out faithfully at the same time I'm there, he struggles and groans while doing curls with...pink plastic coated 5lb. weights. :D He's so sincere that I try to give him an encouraging nod now and then, but it is pretty hilarious.

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You never know ... he could be recovering from an injury, or have some sort of neuromuscular issue.

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Originally Posted by bounceswoosh

You never know ... he could be recovering from an injury, or have some sort of neuromuscular issue.

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It's crossed my mind. He is adorable though, I think it's the cultural differences that allow him to use the little pink weights that I find endearing...most of the big strappin' American boys wouldn't touch them.

Well thanks everyone.

Really to me this is an example of a larger problem that is really getting to me. So many people are just so wrapped up in their belief that they are the center of the universe that they are not capable of being courteous to or thoughtful of the people around them. It's not just at the gym. It's all the people who nearly run me over when I'm riding my bike or walking down the street because they just can't wait a few seconds for me to pass through the intersection before the make their turn. Or at the stop light in front of my office building where people routinely block the intersection so you can't get out when the light turns green and when you beep at them they look at you like you're the one doing something wrong. And the people who sit across from you at a restaurant sending text messages to their bff because they can't be bothered to hide the fact that they'd rather be elsewhere. So much rudeness and lack of respect and it's all small stuff but it just builds up after a while.

I know there are nice people out there too but for some reason the rude ones are the ones who stand out. And it's hard to just shrug them off because that's just like giving up and accepting the world is a crappy place full of people who don't give a crap about anyone but themselves. It seems we should be capable of more than that.

I think it might be time to go home and have a Buffy marathon.

p.s. I do like Pax's signature line. That Buddha guy had some interesting ideas.

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Originally Posted by Irulan

Why not just say, "scuze me, I am going to work my sets in between your sets" or something like that?

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The phrasing would be "Mind if I work in?"

I usually get good results when I ask if there is someway I can work in. Many people are just oblivious to what's going on around them and willing to make room once they wake up. And a lot of times guys who look pretty grumpy turn out to be pleasant and even complimentary of my progress. That said, there are a few guys that intimidate me. . . .

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Originally Posted by Flur

You could also try pointing out to them that resting between sets is a waste - they should be supersetting (doing another exercise in place of rest between sets) to burn more calories, get more cut, grow more muscle, etc. Generally the time it takes to do a set of another exercise is LESS time than they're standing around for, so it will get them off the machine faster, and they can do the same workout in 1/2 the time, which gets them out of the gym faster. Bonus for you!

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This would probably go over about as well as the time I told some guys blabbing using the f_bomb for every other word at the top of their lungs to pipe down...

That's why I like the 5:00 AM crowd. Work out & get out. Some of the guys don't even comb their hair. The 5:00 PM crowd (at Bally's) is way different. I take great offense to the girls who sit on machines & talk on their cell phones. Or the guys who wear enough cologne to gag a maggot. Funk is funk, buddy.

My all time favorites, though, are the guys grunting & yelling like they're giving birth. When you look over, you see they are doing bicep curls with 15 pound weights. OK buddy, I looked.

<grumble grumble...where's my helmet?...>

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Originally Posted by ny biker

Really to me this is an example of a larger problem that is really getting to me. So many people are just so wrapped up in their belief that they are the center of the universe that they are not capable of being courteous to or thoughtful of the people around them.

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Exactly. I rant about this on a daily basis. There's the person who is going to turn across traffic but doesn't put on their signal until the light turns green (with no dedicated turn light or lane) so I'm stuck behind them. There's the person going 10 mph below the speed limit in the passing lane, the list goes on and on. I think people, at least a lot of people and the ones I notice, don't think about how their actions will affect someone else. The gym can be bad too. I get the pleasure of the "cardio pool walkers" who seem to think they should be spread all over the lanes.

And regarding the text messaging, that is just rude. I really love technology but I think it's given people an opportunity to tune out on what's going on in front of them and focus on something else. I'd say I despair for civilization but then I sound old and cranky and I think trends tend to cycle. Of course there's always the chance interoffice memos will read "u going 2 the mtg?"

I wonder if the guys who grunt at the gym know just how foolish they sound. Do they even care?

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Originally Posted by Pax

In that vein, there is a young male Asian student who works out faithfully at the same time I'm there, he struggles and groans while doing curls with...pink plastic coated 5lb. weights. :D He's so sincere that I try to give him an encouraging nod now and then, but it is pretty hilarious.

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Could he be doing rotator cuff exercises? Lots of people skip these because they don't provide dramatic muscle definition results, but . . . anyone who has ever injured a shoulder has probably spent a lot of time building these back up.

Definitely ask if you can work in, otherwise they'll think you're just standing there admiring them. People can be courteous if you ask in the right way. But you have to ASK.

In my case, I'm very small, so it would be ridiculous for me to remove large plates from a bar to work in, or to move them if someone simply forgot to clean up after themselves. It's pretty evident just from looking at me. I let the guys feel like they're being chilvarous by moving their weights out of my way.

In my gym-going days, I would ask if I could work in, or if they could tell me how many more sets they had planned. If they just had one-two more sets, for example, I would tell them I'd just rather wait until they finished (if it's a pain to change the setup), and could they let me know when they were done, and I'll be over by the free weights in the meantime (doing my rotator cuff exercises). If they had a few more sets and their setup was only slightly different from mine, I would ask if I could work in.

Ugh, we had those guys at the gym I used to go to. Thus why I am hesitant to join one here despite the deep discount from work. What bothered me more were the icky sweat hogs in their t-shirts with the sleeves cut off and sides ripped down to the hem who would slim the equipment and not wipe it down. I complained profusely. The agreement we all signed says we would wipe the equipment down. Management just shrugged it off, said some people wipe down before and after. Uh, hey I'm in a hurry, and already hate being here, work with me!!!!

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Originally Posted by Pax

It's crossed my mind. He is adorable though, I think it's the cultural differences that allow him to use the little pink weights that I find endearing...most of the big strappin' American boys wouldn't touch them.

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he sounds like my kinda guy :D

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Originally Posted by ny biker

Really to me this is an example of a larger problem that is really getting to me. So many people are just so wrapped up in their belief that they are the center of the universe that they are not capable of being courteous to or thoughtful of the people around them.

So much rudeness and lack of respect and it's all small stuff but it just builds up after a while.

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A word of friendly advice: do not, and I repeat DO NOT, ever try to stand in a line in Norway. >SIGH!<

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Originally Posted by Trigress

A word of friendly advice: do not, and I repeat DO NOT, ever try to stand in a line in Norway. >SIGH!<

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why not?
In Italy if you try to stand in line you will discover there really wasn't one to begin with!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ny biker

Really to me this is an example of a larger problem that is really getting to me. So many people are just so wrapped up in their belief that they are the center of the universe that they are not capable of being courteous to or thoughtful of the people around them. It's not just at the gym. . . . So much rudeness and lack of respect and it's all small stuff but it just builds up after a while.

I know there are nice people out there too but for some reason the rude ones are the ones who stand out. And it's hard to just shrug them off because that's just like giving up and accepting the world is a crappy place full of people who don't give a crap about anyone but themselves. It seems we should be capable of more than that.

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I have at times felt the same frustration. And it can build up and make you feel very unhappy about so many aspects of life. e.g., my current job, but that's getting off topic . . .

Years ago when DH and I lived in a certain city where the economy was booming it seemed that people were getting ruder to each other all the time. Housing was scarce and expensive, parking was scarce and expensive, and people were always honking at you at intersections when you stopped to let a pedestrian cross, which you are supposed to do in CA. I sometimes wonder whether times of high stress cause people to throw civility out the window. The economy could be robust and people will convince themselves that their needs and problems outweigh everyone else's. And right now the economy is not-so-healthy and maybe this, too, leads to people becoming self-focused.

I hope if your gym situation doesn't improve that you'll be able to find a gym you're happier with. Any gym worth its salt should have plenty of spray bottles and towels handy, as well as rules of usage posted on the wall, regarding everything that others have posted in this thread -- spraying down, allowing others to work in, re-racking weights when finished with equipment, etc. It should not be your job to clean up after others before you get to start your workout. You are paying the same amount of money as other gym-users; unless they're paying for the privilege to not clean up after themselves, your gym management needs to figure out a way to convince them to be courteous of other users. Like, threaten to revoke their membership?