excuse me if I am off base here
How is your basic mountain biking skill set - do you even have one?
Do you have an understanding of basic body position, neutral/attack, body bike separation? Do you understand how to get out of the saddle and be a dynamic rider? Are you fearful, tentative, tense, death grip on the bars? Also, how is your fitness level?
what you are describing sounds like to me like a fearful, tense rider without a basic skill set, trying to keep up with helpful but clueless bf. All the "you need to pull up on the bars and bunny hop this log" in the world won't help if you don't have dynamic riding skills, or understand that it's not about pulling up on the bars at all.
Group rides.. there's not a slow or newbie or girls group? There should be. Sometimes getting away from the relationship dynamic can be a really good thing.
I sucked for years until I went to a women's mountain bike skills camp that essentially changed my life. Where are you located, that might be an option for you too!
You can do it, be kind to yourself, find women riders near you!
As with the others, I highly recommend a clinic specifically for women, run by women! I did one and loved it and I'm doing another tomorrow!! The first clinic had men from the club as spotters at log piles, the rock garden, a substantial mud pit that was slick and near the boardwalks as safety nets to catch if needed.
Ladies group rides are also great. Most are 'no one is left behind'. Some riders may go ahead, then there are some that consider the rides teaching rides and ride w/you in front to forewarn obstacles and ride behind you to guide you.
This is a great forum, hang out with us. The tips and encouragement are awesome! :D I also belong to a forum local to my area (Columbus, Ohio) and also in Rochester, MI where I visit often. Colorado is :cool: for mountain biking ... you'll find women who have/had the same fears and insecurities about mountain biking that you have.
Hang in there!!
PJ
Women's Clinic Cherry Creek
I just want to echo what everyone has said, especially about doing a women's clinic. I found this one with Mia Stockdale, coming soon to a park near you!
Skills Clinic with Mia Stockdale
OOPS! That's an outdated page. sorry! But maybe that shop would be a place to start?