TE rocks (inspired by Queer Eye thread)

The other thread started out about clothes, so I thought I'd start a new one to continue the "how great is TE forum" discussion that developed.

I've quit Bike Forums and a cycling advocacy yahoo group because they were so vitriolic. (I quit another yahoo cycling group for an entirely different reason.) TE is civil and there's a lot of intelligent discussion. In general people can disagree respectfully.

I've felt quite amazed at times and wondered how this can be. Is it because TE is small? Or maybe because it is moderated? I have seen evidence of moderation--someone responds to something that bothered them, but I go back through the thread and can't find the original offensive message--that is a sign it was deleted by a moderator. Thought some people might get upset at being censored, I think active and aggressive moderators are the difference between a nasty group and a caring one like this.

So, thanks to all for being respectful and compassionate, and many thanks to moderators who weed out disrespect and inappropriateness!

TE is smaller, that's true, but I prefer it to another board which is heavily moderated to the point of ridiculousness. I might add that TE has an excellent speedy platform. I am so spoiled that I HATE to go to the other forum, because it is so slow and cumbersome to use.
Not to mention that I can go to Shopping with ONE CLICK any time. :cool:

I think part of it is that we are a real community.

In a real community you don't deliberately tick off your neighbors by letting your dog dig up their petunias.

And if you discover that your dog has been digging up the petunias, you don't blame your neighbor or the petunias. :D You take responsibility for your dog and do your best to make amends.

When your neighbor replaces the ruined petunias with daffodils you graciously accept them.

I have no idea where that came from. But it was a nice break from working on my report cards.


V.

Hmmm. What makes TE different from other forums ...?

I think it helps that we're (mostly) wimmin. I doubt it's genetic, but at some cultural level we're certainly programmed to be considerate of others. Also, wimmin are often delegated the task of writing the family letters, keeping communication lines open. And the few men who hang out here are those who feel comfortable as participants in that kind of social climate. So, mebbe we've got, on average, a pretty high level of experience at expressing ourselves, including in writing, with some subtlety and diplomacy.

That may be why we're overall pretty mature about the niceties of internet interactions. Communicating with the speed of the Internet but with the limitations of the written-only word can be tetchy at times. F'rinstance irony, including self-irony, is hard to convey. So somebody might try to poke fun at themselves and be taken as having insulted somebody else. It takes mature folks to make allowances and apologies and move on. I've seen that done here on several occasions. :cool:

I think it also helps that we feel safe making face2face contact with one another when the opportunity arises. Some here have started out as strangers, then actually met, mebbe done rides together, partied ... generally had fun :D Some who bat for the women's team have even fallen in love :p And yet, the women's team gets along pretty well with the mixed team, and vice versa. As my sister says, it's all cool. Once we get to a certain level of trust, where "it's all cool" is taken as a basic premise, most wrinkles in the social fabric can be ironed out when they occasionally arise.

I'm only a short timer here, but I totally agree with what you all have said. There are not any other sites I have felt comfortable enough when reading to actually jump in and SAY something! Everyone is supportive and caring no matter what level of training ( or not training:rolleyes:) we are all at. And so far everyone seems to be completely "tactful". I, for one, appreciate it!

Women folk tend to be more civil. ;)

We do have nice gentlemen here as well who provide a refreshing perspective.

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Originally Posted by Duck on Wheels

Hmmm. What makes TE different from other forums ...?

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On the other forums we sit back while we flame and/or our flamed. But on TE we get together and ride, then recline and have chocolate, maybe a lemon drop ;) :p

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Originally Posted by Trek420

On the other forums we sit back while we flame and/or our flamed. But on TE we get together and ride, then recline and have chocolate, maybe a lemon drop ;) :p

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or maybe even Drambuie - if Bruno is around! :D
But, then again, she's not lately, is she?? Cuz, methinks her sweetie is visiting, right, Bruno???;)

yes, recently that countdown was down to 1... so... let's play some nice waltzes and maybe a few scottish tunes.

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Originally Posted by Veronica

I think part of it is that we are a real community.

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As in christmas card exchanges, coffee&tea exchange, SS, and random acts of kindness (somebody should look for some socks soon;))

My .02

While I do agree that our moderators are wonderful[Hi, guys!:D],IMVHO I believe that TE's most prolific posters help set the tone for this board. ;):p:D:D:D:cool:

I'll take that as a compliment. :p

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Originally Posted by Veronica

I think part of it is that we are a real community.

In a real community you don't deliberately tick off your neighbors by letting your dog dig up their petunias.

And if you discover that your dog has been digging up the petunias, you don't blame your neighbor or the petunias. :D You take responsibility for your dog and do your best to make amends.

When your neighbor replaces the ruined petunias with daffodils you graciously accept them.

I have no idea where that came from. But it was a nice break from working on my report cards.


V.

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Veronica, that was funny as hell.

And...I think on this particular forum, the intentions of virtually everybody are genuinely good, even if things occasionally and inadvertently go slightly sideways. I mean, I really do think that is the case here. Knowing that helps you get past the occasional torn petunia and keep talking--and want to keep talking to--your neighbor.

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Originally Posted by salsabike

keep talking--and want to keep talking to--your neighbor.

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I think it's the "keep talking" that works so well here. Emphasis on "talking"--that is, not flaming. When things begin to go "slightly sideways" (love that phrase, Salsa!), we talk it over. Not to say that there are never any ruffled feathers, but things seem to get smoothed out pretty quickly.

And I agree that it's great that there's a sort of foundational layer of regular posters that seem to keep the tone friendly and relatively even (with occasional spikes for bike porn :D), but all comers are welcome. I come and go myself--busy life, like everyone else's--but TE is like the home you can always come back to, to relax and refresh, for bike talk, for other kinds of talk, even for chocolate and lemon drops! ;)

yeppers, I think we know we need to play nice in the sandbox. Now if Brandi would give sandcastle building lessons.... :D

I admit I'm a TE forum junkie. MUST have my daily fix. MUST HAVE IT. If I'm silly enough to transfer to Seattle, at least I'll have lots of friends to ride with, and you might not leave me in the dust either. Does it get dusty up there?

I like that we can have a difference of opinion, but for the most part we respect the fact that we're allowed to have a difference, discuss it, and move / ride / on.

I salute my TE sisters & brothers with a toast of my morning coffee.

no dust, just mold. ;)

I think we are so wonderful here because we have proven everything that we need to prove already.

No need to flame someone else into tiny bits - we know we are all fantastically beautiful, wonderful, and confident.............

No need to beat someone to death with words to feel good about ourselves..........

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Originally Posted by KnottedYet

no dust, just mold. ;)

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no mold, just moss :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Trek420

no mold, just moss :rolleyes:

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but no worries...we grow webbed feet and get special cycling shoes too! :D

I think it's that everyone sets a good example. Disagreements really are differences of opinion; there are no ad hominem attacks. Posters are unfailingly polite and make sure to write so that they aren't misinterpreted. There's no attitude of superiority over non-bikers, or different bikers.

On other forums I read (one 99.9% women, one 100% women), posters disparage people with different opinions or practices, both other posters and "outsiders." For example, one woman justified her sneering at mothers who don't breastfeed by saying she had done a lot of research to determine that breastfeeding was the best choice, and that anyone who didn't breastfeed wasn't doing her best. It was that attitude of what's best for me is best for you that horrified me.

TE posters make an effort to write well. It's a personal peeve, and I probably miss some great things, but I can't read anything without standard capitalization, unless it's by e.e. cummings. Thank you for that from the bottom of my uptight heart!

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Originally Posted by MM_QFC!

but no worries...we grow webbed feet and get special cycling shoes too! :D

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I just screw the cleats directly into my palmed feet.

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Originally Posted by bmccasland

I salute my TE sisters & brothers with a toast of my morning coffee.

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Why did you put your toast in your coffee? Why bother to toast it at all? You're wasting electricity if you're just going to let it get soggy. Starving people in the UK could have used that electricity. :D

V.

I've been on this site for a couple of months and don't post very often . . but I've learned TONS about biking while reading the many topics online.

In my experience, please no slams, but I've found that predominantly female sites have much more bickering as compared to men. One site in particular, not related to biking, is very volatile, even when discussions go off-topic. Should anyone disagree with the "queen bees", then you are subject to all kinds of nasty notes.

Anyhoo, my thoughts are that this board seems to be composed of very dedicated, confident, disciplined women who bike in addition to other sports. I think that the dedication to biking (or any specific subject) makes all the difference, again, my opinion. And, perhaps it is just the overall makeup of the women who visit this site. Irregardless, for my short time visiting here, I am appreciative of the support and knowledge that is shared among many . . . kudos to all

- Vivian, MN

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Originally Posted by Veronica

Why did you put your toast in your coffee? Why bother to toast it at all? You're wasting electricity if you're just going to let it get soggy. Starving people in the UK could have used that electricity. :D

V.

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<SNORF> :eek::D:eek: This is what I get for trying to engage fingers and brain at the same time too early in the morning.

I take my bread, toasted on one side, with butter and jam, and NOT in my coffee, thank you very much. Soggy bread is icky.

I'll still raise a cup of cheer to all of you! Here here! :p

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Originally Posted by bmccasland

I admit I'm a TE forum junkie. MUST have my daily fix. MUST HAVE IT.

I like that we can have a difference of opinion, but for the most part we respect the fact that we're allowed to have a difference, discuss it, and move / ride / on.

I salute my TE sisters & brothers with a toast of my morning coffee.

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Like you, Beth, I am a TE junkie as well. I may not post each time I am here, but I check in at least once a day (usually once here at the office and once after I get home).

I, too, toast all my TE sisters & brothers! (green tea this time :))

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Originally Posted by vmax

In my experience, please no slams, but I've found that predominantly female sites have much more bickering as compared to men. One site in particular, not related to biking, is very volatile, even when discussions go off-topic. Should anyone disagree with the "queen bees", then you are subject to all kinds of nasty notes.

Anyhoo, my thoughts are that this board seems to be composed of very dedicated, confident, disciplined women who bike in addition to other sports. I think that the dedication to biking (or any specific subject) makes all the difference, again, my opinion. And, perhaps it is just the overall makeup of the women who visit this site. - Vivian, MN

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I dropped out of another women's cycling internet listserv several yrs. ago when it appeared (to me) the moderator was abit too heavy-handed in terms of control/content/how we should communicate. And none of us cursed. :D:o

I am on another all-women's internet forum which is completely different and non-cycling where the so-called 'bickering' and queen bee stuff doesn't occur hardly at all. Not sure if it makes a difference, but the forum is aimed exclusively to women born in the boomer years and beyond. Not sure, but to me, the more experienced women are, in terms of living through major life experiences/crises..and finding their own identity and strength as a woman, there MIGHT be less of need to slam/put-down other people online.

My perception of female cyclists, who are consistently ride for several consecutive years, seems to share a common characteristic of: down-to-earth pragmatism and a dogged dedication.

I perceive men as more willing to horse around and insult each other in a playful way that they don't take so personally ...compared to women...both on the Internet and in their own face-to-face group communication. I have worked for 4 different organizations where men dominated 80% of the workforce..and see this consistently over and over...and this among men who are literate/educated/professionals.

I love TE for all of the reasons mentioned above.
And I'm very proud to say I have a friend in Perth, a Friend in England, a couple if canada, and one from just about every state in the union!!:D

Tho explaining that some of them are "internet buddies" and that I haven't met them in person can be a bit hard...:p
The lady at the post office thinks I have friends from all over the world after I sent out my Christmas cards this year.:)

Yeah, What runningmommy said.

I have friends all over the world, partially from TE.
I have gotten packages from all over. I have sent get well gifts to more than one person and my life has been enriched as well in many ways.

Don't know why, but I don't always get along so well with other women. Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves and didn't learn the secret handshake or something.:rolleyes: But time and time again I come to TE for some positive conversation, mutual support of all kinds of goals, and coffee-snorting humor. Whether it's a face plant, a flat tire, a goal met or an ego needing a bandaid, some of you will take the time to help. And every once in a while, I can do something for someone else.

I think it has something to do with us being women who keep setting goals for ourselves, who want to keep moving forward in life. Thanks for being there. I don't think I would have achieved so much transformation without TE.

I haven't really participated in forums very much. Actually, I think I've only participated very shortly in one other forum. I found TE when I started bike shopping and lurked for quite awhile. First it was for some information, but then I began to notice how vibrant, open, supportive, inspirational, respectful and helpful the people (mostly women of course, but the handful of men, also) were/are. I'm so happy I joined and have felt comfortable asking questions even when I worry about sounding silly. Sure, there are differing opinions and sometime topics or postings can be contentious, but it seems like there is an underlying respect that runs through the threads. Coming here is now a daily addiction.

And now because of TE I want to try a tri. So the community at TE is helping me push beyond my comfy little walls. I have to thank you for that. (annnnd now I'm going to stop sounds like a commerical :p)

In short - I agree, TE Rocks!

Today as I pulled in the driveway I could see a prezzie sticking out of my mailbox. and the return address was "Team Traveling Pants Mid-Atlantic HQ" :confused:
I had to think a minute WHO it would be from. Of course TE came to mind. Then I opened it... some nifty BLUE bike shorts, chocolate, and other goodies, all wrapped in SNOW wrapping paper. I got to see snow this year!! (sort of)

THANK YOU ZEN!!!

(I had sent her some x-country wool ski pants that don't fit me & I don't live in snow country anyway. I did not expect anything in exchange, but apparently she had some new blue bike shorts that didn't quite fit right).

Oh, and Callie kitty thanks you for the wrapping paper toys. Some has been shredded, and some I wadded in a ball, that skitters across the floor nicely when batted. Good aerodynamics.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The quality of posting, sensitivity to others, knowledge base and diversity on TE are unparalled in any of the other part of cyberspace. I too, have friends around the world, have gotten gifts from Austrailia (CC you're a doll) and have had a few with the girls in Seattle and Bruno of course. There's no where else on the www that I would rather hang.

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Originally Posted by latelatebloomer

Don't know why, but I don't always get along so well with other women. Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves and didn't learn the secret handshake or something.:rolleyes:

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Funny, I have the same issue with men...

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Originally Posted by latelatebloomer

But time and time again I come to TE for some positive conversation, mutual support of all kinds of goals, and coffee-snorting humor.

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I think the distinction here is that TE has people who are deep in their perspective on things. Some are intellectually deep, others are athletically deep, but my sense is that there is a generally deep thread of character and integrity that permeates this forum.

Token guy thoughts....

I just wanna say it'll be really really cool to meet KG & T plus many of the Van/Vic and possibly Seattle chickies when me n mah man visit Canuckland!

It's great knowing so many cool folks!

I also appreciate all the support everyone gives eachother round here! It makes a huge difference in recovering and getting back out doing what one loves!

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Originally Posted by Wahine

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The quality of posting, sensitivity to others, knowledge base and diversity on TE are unparalled in any of the other part of cyberspace. I too, have friends around the world, have gotten gifts from Austrailia (CC you're a doll) and have had a few with the girls in Seattle and Bruno of course. There's no where else on the www that I would rather hang.

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tres sweet, Wahine...I feel the same and consider our TE community a very special one...thanks and have a sip o' that brewski for me too, Yoda! :D

Okay, I thought I posted this today, but it's not here, but if it's somewhere else, forgive the redundancy...

I've watched vitriolic folks come and go... because the flames eventually were tempered. They just get overwhelmed with that sanity stuff. I'm (usually ;) ) more careful about what I type because I LIKE the sensitivity, even if I have to oh, stifle the PERFECt righteous rejoinder now and again. (WHat? Discussing which *car* you want? Those evil things ;) )
I spend more time at Moderation Central's Board, though, mainly 'cause I find more conversations that I want to jump into... and 'cause I like challenging the force fields there.