Not my best day (I just need to whine).

Today was a tough day. In the past few weekends, I've ridden much longer and more difficult rides during which I've felt miserable, but I've never stopped and given up. I gave up today and I don't know why. I'm so mad at myself and irritated by my attitude. I started out fine and kept up on liquids and food. However, I was on a huge hill that I climbed just fine last week, and it absolutely sucked and kicked my booty. I felt tired right away and then I felt like crying. My legs never got heavy, I was just not motivated and was going slow (but that's usual for me). Then I kept having to stop (I made it fine last time) and after one stop, I toppled over while trying to start up again. It just broke me. However, I really don't think it was hydration or fuel related (I had just eaten some bloks and loaded up on water).

It was so discouraging. I got super-negative. All I could think about was how hard I've been working and how I'm still so slow and I'm passed constantly, and although everyone is nice and supportive, it gets old being the slowest and so on. My mind just kept going along these lines and I got very emotional and negative. I just kept getting more teary and tired. I ended up just stopping and turning around (which made me feel even worse). I tried to explain it to my BF, but I don't think he entirely understands how I feel sometimes (he's also new, but is in much better shape than I am and is doing great on the bike). He also just did his first ride without me where he added 20 miles to our longest ride and added a couple thousand feet of climbing. I think this might have gotten me down a little, since I had prided myself on having done just as much as he had (albeit at a slower pace).

I really don't know what happened. It was pretty hot out, but not the hottest it has been. I slept well and felt prepared, but just couldn't do it. The ride was only a fraction of what I did last week. Hopefully this was just a bad day. I didn't like feeling this way at all. Now that I'm home I feel better, but I'm still mad at myself for "wasting" a weekend ride. Really, I know I'm doing very well and am proud of the riding I've done- I'm generally pretty positive and not like this- I don't know what got into me today. Hopefully next weekend will be better.

Thanks for letting me whine.:o

Try not to get too down on yourself. Some days the mind and body just don't click together. It's a beautiful thing when they do; it can be miserable when they don't. Chalk it up to experience and get out there again as soon as possible.

This happens to everyone once in a while. Give yourself a couple of days to rest and you'll be stronger for the experience.

On the worst ride I ever had, I was alternately screaming at the wind and rain for blowing in my face and slogging down the road staring like a hypnotized chicken.

Why do you ride...is it to beat the next person (then race) or is it to enjoy what you are doing. I AM A SLUG. I admit it. I, too, get very discouraged with myself at times, because I don't seem to improve in my speed. But then I think, and my DH reinforces, WHY DO I RIDE? I ride for me...what riding does for me personally (fitness wise and mental) is give my mind a boost, while burning some calories. I will always be passed by someone who is faster. Some days, I surprise myself, and ride hard and fast. Other days, I have a difficult time just turning the pedals. But, usually, when I have completed my ride, I feel I have done a personal accomplishment. So, WHY DO YOU RIDE? I enjoy club rides, but I know I usually 'lag' behind those who I really want to ride with. I am a slug up hills. I use to 'beat' myself up over that (and yes, I still do), but then I remember, I made it. I am too old to worry about beating so and so. I am out there, DOING IT, and I am thankful that I CAN do it. Aly, give yourself a pat on your back for just doing it....

I think you just need a little mental break from cycling. You are working hard and you were prepared for your ride--just didn't have it all going at the same time. :(

Would you feel better riding solo for awhile? Or cycling in a smaller group of ladies who want to just enjoy the ride?

Sometimes you performance will suffer during your monthly cycle and during a full moon. Don't know why, but it happens. Just remind yourself why you enjoy cycling and while you ride, take in the spectacular scenery and fresh air. And know that you are not alone in this. I had a bad ride not too long ago too. :)

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Originally Posted by aly

T
It was so discouraging. I got super-negative. All I could think about was how hard I've been working and how I'm still so slow and I'm passed constantly, and although everyone is nice and supportive, it gets old being the slowest and so on. My mind just kept going along these lines and I got very emotional and negative. I just kept getting more teary and tired. I ended up just stopping and turning around (which made me feel even worse). I tried to explain it to my BF, but I don't think he entirely understands how I feel sometimes (he's also new, but is in much better shape than I am and is doing great on the bike). He also just did his first ride without me where he added 20 miles to our longest ride and added a couple thousand feet of climbing. I think this might have gotten me down a little, since I had prided myself on having done just as much as he had (albeit at a slower pace).

Thanks for letting me whine.:o

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Been there. Thought that!

Sometimes... mentally... you lose it. Plain and simple. Stuff starts to accumulate and finally you GIVE into it.

Don't beat yourself over turning around. You did what you MENTALLY needed to do. It's OK. Take a couple of days off the bike... be lazy. You will get a clearer frame of mind.

Trust me, back in August I had a mental break down from all my training. I finally said, "I give", and I took an easy week. Mentally it really recharged me and got me back on track.

Don't be so hard on yourself... take a break and a deep breath. You will be more positive in a few days.

+1+1 for Sundial

Everyone else has already given you wonderful advice. Sometimes you have to give yourself a break both to refresh yourself mentally and physically. Remember that your muscles need time to repair themselves too.

I can totally relate to your experience. I've had a rides like the one you describe. The longest ride I've done so far ended with me bawling the last few miles home. Luckily I was all alone. I was questioning my sanity for wanting to ride and why was I doing this to myself when I could have been comfortably sitting at home. It took a couple of days of moping to get over it. Looking back on it, I think it was kind of a good thing. It quickened my resolve that this IS something I want to do. For me, I don't want to go back to being an unhealthy (physically, mentally, and emotionally) person.

I'm also very slow. So far I've ridden with wonderfully supportive people who are very encouraging. But it doesn't stop me from sometimes feeling bad for keeping everyone else back. I've come to realize that that is my own issue to deal with.

I don't think it's a good idea to compare your progression with your BF or anyone else for that matter. As others have said many, many times on this board: You have to ride your own ride. For me that means doing the best that I can and pushing myself to MY limits, not someone else's.

Also, it helps to think about all that I've accomplished as apposed to my failures. I started out this year with the goal of doing the STP. Well, I hadn't trained adequately enough so I decided to forgo the ride (the right decision for me BTW). I felt so discouraged and spent a couple of weeks depressed for not meeting my goal. Then I started to think about all that I have done this year. I've ridden more this year than the previous 7-8 years combined. :eek: My longest ride is 53 miles. A big deal for me. There's also the three days of ~25 hilly (for me) miles in row I did Labor Day weekend. I never would have imagined a few years ago that I was even capable of that. :cool: :D I now feel confidant that I'll be able to meet my goals. Some may just take a bit longer than I thought. I'm still learning how to be patient with my self.:rolleyes: ;)

Maybe you had a headwind. That can make a hill seem steeper and your speed slower.

Don't get discouraged. You're not the slowest person on a bike. We all get passed sometimes. Ride at your own pace, and try to have fun!

I say go for another ride, but don't ride that hill again for a while. You won't have fun knowing it's coming up. Don't add more miles. Ride a scenic ride that you think is fun.

When bad thoughts come up, focus on your breath and your cadence. Try to spin as effortlessly as you can. Know you're getting stronger.

It will make you stronger next time round.
sounds trite, but, it really is true.

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Originally Posted by boy in a kilt

On the worst ride I ever had, I was alternately screaming at the wind and rain for blowing in my face and slogging down the road staring like a hypnotized chicken.

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I had one of these days about 3 weeks ago. I was crying at times too - sometimes in despair, sometimes with rage... the wind and rain was inside my head though, but I was still yelling, muttering and whispering to myself... as well as the hypnotised chook thing...

Aly, like the others say. Give yourself time, don't write yourself off... we all have days of despair and self-doubt. Look at my sig below, and dust yourself off for another day. :)

Awwww. You all are so great. I really needed a hug and I feel like you all gave it to me. I appreciate all of the advice and support. It always helps to know that others have felt the same way.

I feel much better today. My BF and I talked and I think part of my problem is that I've been pushing too hard and only have time to ride on the weekends. Therefore, I end up working way too hard and crashing. So, I'm going to try to fit in some indoor cycling classes during the week- I think they'll help me with my riding and I'll be able to be on a bike without others passing me- I'm also going to try to take it a little easier and not push to jump my miles and climbing up every weekend. We'll also start riding seperate routes sometimes, so that I won't feel the need to keep up and get down on myself when I can't. I can't wait to hit that hill again, but I will wait a week or so...

I will not give up cycling... my legs are just starting to look really good! But, just for today, I'm going to watch some TV and play with the goodies I just got from Nashbar. Thanks again!

Um, another thought: were your tires fully inflated? YOu checked 'em right before, maybe even during the ride?

I had a pretty sucky century yesterday - my friend's first. I even thought we were going to bail because I am basically the stronger rider... if I felt this crappy, he must feel worse, eh? I checked the tires after the first loop because when I feel like I'm working too hard, usually it's the tyres. They were *fine.* He was the one who said "we're not done yet, " not me. (Um, usually I'm the cattle prod :))
Now, I was getting over a cold, too... but as we took my bike off the car, the tire was seriously soft (yes, flat by a.m.). No wonder those last 15 miles were so long!

Ouch! I'd go nuts if all my riding was during the weekend.

I'm slow. I am ok with being slow, because slow on a bike is still faster than walking. Also, slow on a bike still feels like flying :D. I'm also a wee bit more competitive than is good for me, and an introvert. So I'm not a big fan of group rides or racing, and I love commuting and utility biking.

You'll find your own space on the bike :). There are lots of options, and not everyone is cut out for every kind of biking. If you have a bad ride, it's ok. Sometimes a break lets you pull out of the negative, sometimes it doesn't. And a fall always leaves me a bit wobbly right after... usually then I want to go home right away. (and so far, going home right away has been a good call... I always manage to end up with impressive bruises that need ice)

You've already been given some fabulous advice already, which I won't repeat. What struck me the most with your post was this part:

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Originally Posted by aly

It was so discouraging. I got super-negative. All I could think about was how hard I've been working and how I'm still so slow and I'm passed constantly, and although everyone is nice and supportive, it gets old being the slowest and so on. My mind just kept going along these lines and I got very emotional and negative.

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Do you generally have issues with negative self-talk? I had a riding partner who really struggled with self-esteem and negativity, and this reminded me a lot of her. What I find is that being in positions of extreme distress brings out all of my usual "demons". Having an incredibly challenging ride can get you to that point of meltdown alarmingly quickly. They're there with me every day of my life, but they really rear their ugly little heads when I'm on the edge. Anyways, this might be something you want to explore in therapy/counselling. It's helped me out a lot. :)

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Originally Posted by Dianyla

Y
Do you generally have issues with negative self-talk? I had a riding partner who really struggled with self-esteem and negativity, and this reminded me a lot of her. ..... :)

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A lot of times, you really have to know when to let the "good girl" stuff in one ear and out the other. and yeah, it's hard.
In short, I don't get paid to ride, so I why should have to torture myself?:)

I don't think my problem is so much a lack of self-esteem, but is actually more of an expectation that I be great at everything. I'm a little bit of an overachiever and expect myself to be able to do it all well and do it all fast. Part of the reason it got me so down, was that I am usually a really positive person and was not happy to turn so negative. I just think I was really tired and moody and got a little hard on myself. I enjoy riding and generally I don't mind moving along at my own pace. Sunday was just hot and messy and I turned into 10 year-old me.

My plan from now on is to stop pushing myself so much each and every weekend. I'm going to find a ride to gauge my riding. I plan to ride that one route for a couple of weeks, and then, when it's improved, I'll step it up to a longer route. In addition, I'll throw in lots of spinning classes and an occassional longer endurance ride.

Geonz- Darn, I checked the tires and they were fine. It would've been so nice if that would have been the issue...

I rode both days this weekend, and feel like I'm ok again. This week, I went to a couple of spin classes and I think they helped (at least psychologically). Instead of pushing myself too hard on a new route, I stuck to ones I've done before. Yesterday's ride was a quick 20, and I rode about a mile per hour faster than my usual speed. Today, I did 35 in the Santa Monica Mountains with wind and still did much better speed-wise than usual on the same route. The wind was really slowing me down, too, so I'm pretty happy. I kind if embarrassed to say that it also helped that I passed someone on a road bike on Sat during a climb- my ego really needed that.:o

So, all's good. at least next time I have a bad riding day, I can remind myself that that's all it is. In retrospect, I really do think I was pushing myself too hard. I had been jumping my distance at least 20% each week and increasing my climbing significantly. Now I see why that isn't a good idea, especially when you don't get to ride much in between! Maybe I should have followed more of the advice I had already read on here on other posts...

Thanks again for all the support and suggestions! It helps so much to whine a little (especially to people who know what you need to hear;) ).

Also, it does take quite a bit of time to learn to pace yourself, especially over an unfamiliar ride. I completely suck at it. Would much rather just give 100% and then stop for tea and cakes to recover for a bit. :D

Aly, I noticed that I get emotional and have sleep problems when I've overtrained. I also noticed that when I laid off cycling for a whole week, my performance improved. You build strength through rest and recovery.

Man, I had one of those days yesterday! I was A MESS! Just four weeks ago, I rode my first century ever, and had a great time! Felt great. OK, felt a little sore south of the border, but you know. . . mentally, felt great! Yesterday, 33 miles just DID ME IN. I was A MESS! I was on the verge of tears. I practically threw my helmet when I got back to my car. I felt disgraced and discouraged!! My wonderful friends were all there to console me and point out that I've had a rough few weeks (Mom, aged 86, had open heart surgery and I had spent nearly all of my free time for 3 weeks in hospital and rehab with her), oldest daughter just started college, got the dreaded phone call from younger daughter's algebra teacher, got blown off by a guy I really liked, yada yada yada. I guess it all came to a head on the ride yesterday.

So, I guess on the bright side, I had a FANTASTIC riding season, especially since this was my FIRST FULL SEASON of riding (just got my road bike last Sept.) and I have an awful lot to be proud of! Onward and upward, as they say. Mom's doing better, the kids are doing better, I'm kicking the guy to the side of the road and pedaling on!!!

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR CENTURY!!!!

I would love to share a package of oreos with you in celebration of you grand riding season. Cookies and a good ear always make me feel better when I'm blue. :)

Oh man, Sundial!!! I want to get you for my next Secret Sister!! Do you prefer double-stuffs? Or are you an Oreo traditionalist?

:D :D :D :D :D

Isn't it fascinating how our mental state really can make or break a ride?

It's not like it's NEWS, or anything, but for some reason, as of late, I've been pondering this subject a lot and am truly intrigued with the power of a positive mindset. Mind you, I don't always FIND it! :rolleyes: I've certainly had rides where I was in tears. Often times I think I'm "Lancette" on the bike one day, and a week later, I feel slow, dumpy and pathetic. What gives? How do we change our mindset once we get into a bad one? Is it even possible at that point? These days, major athletes and teams in all sports pay good money for Sports Psychologists to work on this issue. They've found "peak performance" in star athletes is more mental than anything. Again - in one way or another, I've always known this, but lately (I guess with regard to my own riding), I find myself oft chewing on this idea.

All in all, I think, aly, that you are doing the healthiest thing - which is to talk about it here with us, and then to get back out there. Don't worry! You'll find your inner Lancette again! :cool:

You can change your state of mind simply by changing your state of mind. Easier: change your physical state, and your state of mind will change, too. A belief is just something you think over and over.

I was on the Katy Trail in MO pulling my dog in the trailer this summer. This turned out to be my longest ride ever to that point in time. On the trail going out I met a woman coming towards me in a motorized wheelchair. We exchanged pleasantries. I noticed that I never saw her distinctive tracks going the other direction all day, so I assume she used the trail for travel, and probably on a regular basis.

When I stopped for lunch, I met a guy that was traveling from Alaska to Key West by bike. He had broken his neck a few years ago and he was really stiff. He had also been hit by an elderly driver from behind while on his bike in Kansas just two weeks earlier. Watching him get off his bike was really painful. I don't know how he could keep on pedaling.

Later, at about mile 25 for me, I hit a serious wall. The sun was coming out after a cloudy, windy day (no rain!). I'd been on the bike for at least 3 hours and away from camp since 8 am. It was closing in on 3:00, and with the dog behind me my average speed was only about 7. The dog was getting too tired to run, but I made him run through the shady parts and pulled him in the sunny parts. The only thing to do is keep pedaling, so I started making up songs. "Just keep pedaling. Avoid the cracks. This surface used to be railroad tracks!" About 2 miles from camp, I just had to stop. I pulled a pillow out of the trailer and sat on it. The dog crashed in the deeper shade behind the trailer. I sat there a few minutes, drinking water, eating a banana, and listening to the cicadas and smelling the corn and sunflowers and weeds. Then, like a bolt of lightening, it hit me and I said out loud, "What the HELL!?! I'm not in any freaking WHEELCHAIR! I don't have to ride all the way to KEY WEST!" I zipped the dog back into the trailer, got back on the bike and sprinted the rest of the way to camp.

I just decided (with the help of two inspirational people) not to think the way I was thinking. That's how you change your mind.

Karen

I think of my future self talking to my present self. Like, me, sitting in a nursing home, thinking back to all the fun times I've had, sending out a message: "Come on, honey."

Like a self-created fairy godmother.

Just wanted everyone to know that I have ridden with Quint41 multiple times and she is an awesome biker! Much faster than I am. My friends and I have adopted the term "Quint Sprint" when we bike with her because she goes into the 'big rig' on the flats and leaves us in her dust. :D

Lynette