How do you explain one of them...

OKay, well that was supposed to be 'how do you explain TO one of them...'

I have been working like a madwoman recently. Not out of choice. I am not, generally, a workaholic. However I am a perfectionist. I like to do my job well, and to completion, not leaving tasks unfulfilled at the end of a day if possible.

My managers have seemed to notice, and as such have been giving me more and more responsibility. Which, while I am complimented, is a bit frustrating.

See, it's cycling season now. This time last year I was riding 3x a week after work at 4:30. I was putting miles in.

This month at my new-ish position I am working 10-12 hour days every day, from 6 in the morning until 5 or 6 at night. I am working my *** off, not getting a lunch (well i get it, I just have to work as I eat at my computer). Today I promised myself a ride with the local group, but since the weather looked bad this a.m. I didn't put my bike in the car. (hey, it was 5:30 in the morning, sue me for not thinking straight!)

Well the thing is, I got in to work at 6, so technically I should get out around 2. 5:00 pm today I was still working feverishly, and I was the last one in the building practically. The sun had come out and it was glorious and warm and sunny out. My heart felt like it was crumbling away as I finally left work, wondering if I'd ever get a relief from the insane work schedule and get to enjoy MY things.

The thing is, I don't know if I can bring this up to my boss. When I bring up the amount of hours I'm putting in, I get sympathetic sounds and a mention of comp time. But comp time only can happen when I have time for it to happen. If they keep assigning me more and more work, I won't have any spare time to take off early.

i don't know how to tell her, a woman who lives her job, or any of my other managers/bosses who are also workaholics (such are the troubles of working with research PhD's) that I HAVE to cycle? If I come in to work early, I should get out early. Just because I'm leaving the same time as someone who came in at 9 am doesn't mean I've worked a full day. I've worked MORE than a full day.

I don't know how to bring it up, to let her know that I cannot skimp on any more cycling time, without sounding like a little kid. I mean, non-cyclists really just don't understand. You say I was supposed to go cycling and they hear 'I wanted to go ride my bike'. Which are two entirely different things. They picture you wanting to go toodle around on a trail or ride in circles in a cul de sac. They don't understand that it's training and it's as important as work.

I guess I am just frustrated and not wanting to sound to my bosses like I'm ungrateful or slacking on my job (I know I'm not, I'm giving 100% more than most people that work at my department).

Any help? Commiseration? Advice (other than get a new job... believe me, thought of that one already...)

K.

I'm not sure you need to mention the reason why you do not want to work from 6 to 6. Whether it's to cycle or take care of kids or watch TV or bake the world's biggest chocolate chip cookie (!!!) is not really their business.

Can you simply, gently, diplomatically refuse some of the new assignations you're given? It might be pointless to explain (to them) that you want to lead a balanced personal life...

Well, I don't have to much good advice for you. My husband is in the same postion, he gets into work around 6am..his boss is usually there by 530 and is a major work aholic so my DH has a hard time leaving after a "normal" work day. His boss says "on one works a 8 or 9 hour day anymore". Are you able to ride durring lunch? Is there anyway you can commute? I know it is not the same as a training ride. I hope you find a situation that works for you. to bad you couldn't work 4 10s, since you are already working 10 plus hours a day. Is there anyway you could leave early, go ride then do more work at home...I know it is not ideal, but I am trying to help you outl

That's a really tough position to be in. I happen to be "a researh PhD" at a gov't institution, but luckily most of my colleagues go by the 40 hour work week, myself included. Not so for my friends who work for companies. If it was me, I would perhaps just start working 8 hours a day, then when the work isn't done and the boss complains, point out that I am only one person and can only do one person's worth of work. Ok, that would be the passive agressive route. In the past when my husband was working 60 hour weeks including weekends, I suggested he might politely tell his boss that he's being overworked and needs some help. That worked well for him, they gave him half the time of a worker bee to pick up some of the slack. But then his boss is pretty reasonable.

Perhaps it was a mistake for me to walk out of a meeting last week at 5 pm because I had to go ride? Really, I was meeting my husband to ride home, and if I didn't meet him he would have thought the worst. (The meeting was scheduled to end at 5). I don't do meetings past 5 unless its really really really important. I hate staying until 5 just because other people can't get up early. :p

I have a long work week, too. My usual week is about 60-65 hours, and can get up to 80 hours a week during the busy season. But I still try to get in 75-100 miles a week (+ swim and run), even if I have to get up at 3am and go out riding covered in lights. (I think I'd go crazy otherwise.)

Fortunately, I can ride all year around in Southern California weather. Nope, I don't have much of a life outside of working/training. But I love what I do so that makes a difference.

If I were you, I'd explain the need to limit the number of hours a week, and not apologize for it. And, I'd change my phrasing from "cycling" to "training." Most workaholics can appreciate goals, and if you tell them you are working towards a race, you might get some slack! ;)

"If you want a project done, give it to someone who is busy."

You are too good. Start saying "no" or delegating. Or if they ask you to do something new, ask them which of your existing projects they want you to drop for it. Or tell them you want to hire an assistant. (students always need internships, too)

If you keep doing extra, they'll keep giving you extra.

This happens to me, too. My workload has tripled since I was hired and I'm on call more than twice the amount of time they told me I would be when I'm hired. I fortunately don't have to put in more hours typically (sometimes); I just try to work much faster. But my office is FULL of workaholics.

Is it possible for you to bike commute to work? Then at least you'd get a ride -- and you could possibly take a ride at lunch, too.

That's a tough situation.

I think I would approach it by talking to your Boss about what makes you a more productive employee. Being healthy and having a balanced life will keep you from burning out on the job and eventually leaving.

If you are a good employee who your boss values... then he/she would want to you to keep working hard... but not burn out and leave.

You don't have to say... I MUST CYCLE... instead... just say that to stay sane and productive, you need to have some time for physical activity. And you are more than willing to put in the time, but there are some days when you might only work an 8 hour day, and you hope she/he can respect that... so you can keep working hard and not go nuts.

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Originally Posted by KSH

just say that to stay sane and productive, you need to have some time for physical activity. And you are more than willing to put in the time, but there are some days when you might only work an 8 hour day, and you hope she/he can respect that... so you can keep working hard and not go nuts.

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As a boss, I would honor this...but I encourage you to write out what you would say and practice it before you actually say it. Be sincere in your delivery.

I make sure that people know that I (and they) are better off with balance in life. I honor this and model it for my employees.

Regardless of your political orientation, you have to acknowledge that President Bush is able to have scheduled exercise everyday...and he leads one of the largest countries in the world!

So, if the prez can do it, we can too.

I don't think you have to say "I need to go ride my bike", so much as "I need some time to do physical activity which will allow me to focus better on the tasks at hand, and I'll need this much time per day to fit in this exercise".

I know what it's like, I've been working six days a week for far too long because the management here do not wish to make the person who has a bid to relieve me actually LEARN the job. He's on 'light duty' because HE's stressed. Apparently I don't count. So, I ride my bike everyday.

East Hill

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Originally Posted by Mr. Silver

As a boss, I would honor this...but I encourage you to write out what you would say and practice it before you actually say it. Be sincere in your delivery.

I make sure that people know that I (and they) are better off with balance in life. I honor this and model it for my employees.

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Mr. Silver-

Sadly, I would say that this puts you in the minority of bosses, based on what I've seen. Of course, I work in a worse than average profession (law) in a very large firm.

Our billable hours requirements actually jumped significantly a couple of months ago, and we haven't been paid any more money. The entire attitude is "how many hours can we squeeze out of each person." Need to take care of a family member? Only if it's a convenient time. You're really sick - you can't take a sick day unless it's convenient (which means almost never). You thought you were leaving early (6) - ha - have this 6 hour project on my desk before your go (nope, not a court or client deadline). I can never predict when I'll be home. There's been half serious discussion about what kind of stimulants (e.g. caffeine) and in what doses most effectively let people get 4 hours of sleep so we can work more. Their entire concept of work-life balance is 1) being passionate about your work so it is your life and 2) telling you how to hire people to do other stuff in your life so that you can work more.

So....kudos to you for what you're doing! I can only wish there were more like you out there.

In the past few years, I have stopped taking on extra things, like committee work, projects, etc. Now I know teaching is a little different, but once you set the expectation that you are the one that does everything better and "more," it is hard to scale back. Thankfully, I can manage getting up early and I get to work at 6:40, when I really don't need to be there until 7:30. I get most of my work done then (planning, etc) as well as during my regularly scheduled planning period. I think that people know that once the weather turns nicer, I am out of here by 3. I tend to stay later one day a week. I grade papers at home, after my ride or other exercise.
But, I admit to cancelling other types of obligations such as dental appointments because the weather was nice!
But, this is one of the reasons I am resigning/retiring in June. I am ready for some fun. I never thought I would want to stop working at age 53; I have always been a type A workaholic.
By the way, my husband is a boss like Mr. Silver. He sets the tone by prominantly displaying his bike in his office and going on lunch rides, or riding to work. His boss runs at lunch. The whole company works on the premise that happy employees (and fit ones) are productive employees.

You need to set expectations. From my perspective, your managers are giving you more work/responsibilitiy because you do a good job. If you don't say anything about the additionaly workload, and continue to do a good job, they are going to continue to give you more work/responsibility. It's a viscious cycle.

I decided after my last job that my work/life balance was extremely important to me. The best approach that I ever took was to be upfront with my boss about what I would and wouldn't do. After working together for 5 years, he now knows that Tues is sprint night, Weds is TT night, and Thurs is team training night, and that I don't work past 11:30 am on Friday. The flip of that is that I am also flexible enough that I can be available if something really requires my attention.

So, I was open and honest, continue to get my work done (well), and am flexible enough to meet my manager's requirements. In return, he tells me that I have a terrific work/life balance ;) . Have the conversation - it's really worth it.

SheFly

Although I do not work 11 hours a day, my commute to Manhattan makes it an 11 hour day. I leave at 6:12 by 5:12. When daylight savings time begins I am out on my bike right when I get home. I have food prepared that I can quickly heated up and I am out the door usually for no more than an hour, but my motto is something is better than nothing and it keeps me happy. I use to live just 10-15 minutes from my house until they moved the company so this was a major adjustment for me.

I agree with the others, that if you need to leave earlier a few days a week or whatever it takes to keep you mentally happy, do not tell your employer exactly what it is for. What is important to you, is usually not important to the other person.

I think with some adjustments figured out here and there, this will all work out for you and you will be back on your bike.

PS...in the winter I continue my schedule but on the trainer to keep the momentum.

~ JoAnn

Kimmy, you've had some good advice here, and I'll add my two cents, too.

Ask for help. It's something that those of us who do a good job are loathe to do (why is that? does it make us look weak or something?), but you are clearly given more than work than you have the capacity to do during reasonable hours.

Make a list of the tasks a junior employee (is there a spare board, a filing clerk, any temp employees?), could take on that would give you the time to get the important work done. Have a clear and concise plan of what your goal is and what is going to fall off the plate without more resources at your disposal.

The other idea I have is that if you are working until 5 anyway, do not go to work early. Go for your ride in the morning before you go to work, and arrive at work with your exercise done, full of energy and....at the same time as the rest of the workers.

Don't do what I did. I was doing longer hours (not as long as you, but apparently I don't have the tolerance for that), and didn't ask for help and my body basically told me to stop. I haven't actually missed any work, except for medical tests, since we started working towards the diagnosis of Crohn's that I received in November, but my work has suffered (my filing is about 3 months behind), and the rest of my life has suffered, too. You do not want to be here. Do not work this hard, your health is far too important!!

Good luck!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

You need to have an honest discussion with your boss. Saying no when they try to give you new assignments will backfire on you. You need to talk to the boss, but it's all in how you present it.

I would not approach it from the angle that working 6-6 is killing you and you just can't take it any more. Rather, I'd approach it from the angle that you find yourself feeling anxious, stressed and out of sorts because you drive yourself so hard that you no longer make time to take care of yourself. Tell your boss that in the past, you made time to cycle after work 3 times per week, but you are such a workaholic that you find you are not making that time anymore, and it's starting to affect you negatively. You really miss it. Now that the sun isn't setting until after 7, and it's warming up, you are really itching to get some exercise for your health and sanity, but it's impossible when you come to work at 6 and don't leave until 6.

See ... you present it like it's YOUR problem, and you are asking your boss for advice ... what do YOU think I could do to change this situation, because I'm afraid if I don't make time for myself to get some exercise and take care of myself, I am going to burn out. I love my job, I love doing it well, but I know I need to take care of myself at the same time and am having trouble doing that.

It wouldn't help to cite some articles that you've read recently about the importance of finding a balance between work and personal life. Try these:
http://www.worklifebalance.com/workl...cedefined.html
http://www.businessweek.com/1996/38/b34931.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work-life_balance
http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH...=dmtHMSContent

I learned one thing a long time ago ... if I eat lunch at my desk, it won't take long for "them" to expect me to eat lunch at my desk. If I go to the cafeteria, THAT will be the anomoly. When I took the job that I currently have, I made the decision to NEVER eat at my desk unless it could absolutely not be helped. I leave my desk every single day, whether it's to eat or take a walk around the building. I take the bus to work. That limits how late I can stay, because if I miss that last bus, I'm stuck. (And nobody needs to know what time the "last bus" really leaves -- it's not like anyone's going to look it up.) You know what I'm saying? Sometimes we create our own problems.

Hey, how about this, too? Why don't you see if anyone else in your office rides? If so, start a fun biking group of coworkers. One day a week, you all leave at a reasonable hour and go for a ride. Even if they don't bike at the same level as you, it would be fun, you can coach them along, and you'd also now have others who share your desire to balance work and wellness!

Good luck.

You've gotten some good advice here, and I think I might try and utilize some of it myself! :o

I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I came home a couple of times last week ready to blow my lid because I'd missed my riding oportunities. I missed group rides AND I missed being able to commute because I had work to do. I don't necessarily take on too much work, but I totally suck at asking for help. It's like admitting that I can't do it all and aren't we told from birth that as women, we CAN do it all?!? :p My situation is that I work for a company where they do believe in balance...just not always for us non-parents. :mad: Plus, I have two very high profile assignments, and I feel like everyone is watching and that I need to prove myself every day...even when others don't. Add to this that it's not my direct supervisor who is asking all this of me....it's the project. My supervisor would be happy to say "go home" with a smile on his face, but he's not the one on the conf call with the customer having to admit to not having all the analysis done (or whatever). The work HAS to get done...somehow...

Anyway, two days last week, I managed to escape for a lunch ride (only 17 miles..but WAY better than nothing) and it made a huge difference. This week, I'm determined to not let work get in the way of my group ride (which is tonight) and my commutes.

I think that somehow, you are going to have to find a way to fit it in. Maybe it's coming in later, maybe it's leaving early at least one day each week, maybe it's by riding at lunch...whatever you can do to get it in there. Speaking from my experience last week, even just one ride a week will really, really help. :) Hang in there and know that you are not alone!

I am one of those science PhDs, and for me I find the most effecient way to ride during the work week is by cycle commuting. Then I do club rides early sat. and sun. morning. Its not just about how it looks to your boss, its about what lets you get your work done and feel sane while doing it. Now, maybe if I was training to race this plan wouldn't work, but I do find the commuting miles, while not fast miles, are real miles, and notice the change in performance on my weekend rides when I am not doing them. If you are more serious about training than me, perhaps you could also combine a training ride with a commuting ride. Then all you have to ask you boss for is access for a shower rather than released time from work.

I too have one of those live to work instead of work to live bosses. You'd think he would have changed his perspective after the heart attack....nope. If something comes up at 5pm, even if it isn't an emergency, he doesn't want to wait until the next morning to address it. It's hard to say, "Hey, boss...I have a life you know."

Maybe you can just tell him that you have some "personal business." ???

If you figure it out I'm sure there are a bunch of us who would like to know how you resolved it. Good luck!

As Women's Rep and Acting Dep. Chair of our union at work, I have been encouraging staff to log their hours for about a month before going to their section manager to discuss the workload issues.

I suggest any of you do this if you have workload issues. Quint is right - you need to be honest and upfront with your boss.

I made a decision last year to try and stop bringing work home.

This year my decision is to cut the "try" out of the sentence. I know there will be times when I have students work I need to bring home to finish marking, but I have already crossed off days in my diary to do marking at work throughout the year.

Anything extra I do at home/in my time I log - most commonly this is the on-line component of my classes which I often do when I cant sleep (today I was on one class forum from 4-5:30am).

My decision to stop doing long hours at the office was fuelled by missing my partner and him feeling it too, as well as getting home some nights and finding children in bed - or asleep!

My decision to stop bringing my work home was fuelled by my youngest who would angrily tell me he hated my laptop...

Kimmy, I don't have any words of brilliance for you above and beyond what others have said. I just wanted to add that in the academic world of research PhDs the average life expectancy is 63 years. That's about 10 years less than the rest of the population and it means that more than half of them die before they even retire.

Think about that when you are deciding if it's worth rocking the boat to fight for your right to lead a balanced life.

I feel compelled to discourage defining absolutes...for example: "I will never work past 5PM".

As I said earlier, I encourage and model balance. But I also model "rising to the challenge". In other words, I can't predict tomorrow, but I know that if something urgent arises, we all need to hunker down and get it done.

Today, I did an 18 hour day, but yesterday I left a few minutes early to capitalize on the great weather for a 20 mile ride. 19 miles into that ride, I stopped and talked to my boss/CEO while he and his wife walked their dogs as they were capitalizing on the good weather as well:)

But, if everyday is a crisis requiring everyone to always hunker down...THEN that's my job as boss to reconsider staffing and resources to reestablish balance.

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Originally Posted by Wahine

Kimmy, I don't have any words of brilliance for you above and beyond what others have said. I just wanted to add that in the academic world of research PhDs the average life expectancy is 63 years. That's about 10 years less than the rest of the population and it means that more than half of them die before they even retire.

Think about that when you are deciding if it's worth rocking the boat to fight for your right to lead a balanced life.

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Wow that's an amazing stat, where did you get that? I'm very interested.

It's not just professionals. I'm a union customer service rep, my job IS 9 -5 (well 8:30 - 5:30). I take an hour lunch and if I'm on a call a nano'second after 5:30 it's OT. :)

It's a good job, fabulous benefits, pay's good and every once in a while I really get to help people :) But i gotta have my "me" time.

While others in the office take half hour lunches I NEEEEEED that hour to walk, go to the gym, sometimes just climb stairs in the building or I'll climb the walls.

And if I'm talking to you on the phone and it's stuff I could quote in my sleep if you woke me up at 3 am to ask me to define your LATA (please don't ;) :cool: ) .... I may be stretching.

Or used to be.

We do reports, follow ups, adjustments, orders that our managers used to do and to keep up (since there's less and less time to do it) often it's on "overlap" in other words if you can't do 5 things at once this job is not for you. :o

We get more training than most people in the industry but the information overload and sifting through and absorbing the constant change in systems, tools and outright products is like keeping your head above water in a sinking ship.

I must do ok at it because I'm the go-to gal on most things for our entire floor.

Now I may be on the way out the door and it's "Trek? :confused: " this and "Trek :confused: " that with questions and I know if i stop to help you ... I miss my workout.

There's one rep in particular who feels I'm not a team player to not stop on my time to assist him on my time and acts like it's personal. It's not, I just gotta go :cool:

But looking below my desk and seeing cycling shoes and slipping them on during that last call of the day .... makes it all fade away. :)

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Originally Posted by Grog

Wow that's an amazing stat, where did you get that? I'm very interested.

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My husband is a PhD, was a research scientist at the University of Alberta. He is in excellent health, exercises regularly, eats well and has great longevity genetics. He applied for life insurance and the price was pretty high. When we asked about the breakdown this stat was a big reason for the cost. He looked into it further and found another reference to this stat in an Academic Union Newsletter but he says he never looked the original source up. So sorry, I don't have it for you.

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Originally Posted by Wahine

My husband is a PhD, was a research scientist at the University of Alberta. He is in excellent health, exercises regularly, eats well and has great longevity genetics. He applied for life insurance and the price was pretty high. When we asked about the breakdown this stat was a big reason for the cost. He looked into it further and found another reference to this stat in an Academic Union Newsletter but he says he never looked the original source up. So sorry, I don't have it for you.

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I have a friend who's an actuarian. He does professional insurance but he should be able to access that sort of data. Very cool!

I've been reading this thread with interest. About 10 years ago, the smallish company that I worked for got purchased by a large multi-national. I was not, and never will be, a big-company, political thinking employee. However, I made good money at the big company and had great benefits. At the time I thought that if I just hunkered down and put up with it that I'd be able to retire at 55. After about 6 months of long days and too much travel, I realized that at the rate I was going, I wasn't going to live to 55.

I quit and started working for a small company. The transition was not easy, but 7 years later I have a job that I can live with (emphasis on "live"). My hours are just as long, but I set them. I work in the office 3 days a week and from home 2 days a week. When the weather is nice, I ride in the afternoon and work into the evening.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, yes, too much work is bad, but, perhaps, look further outside of the box. Do you have a job where you can rearrange your hours just a bit? I realize I have the ideal job for that and that some jobs must remain 9 to 5. But, if you have developed a good reputation for hard work and getting the job done, can you, perhaps, suggest alternative scheduling, one where you can fit in a ride, refresh the soul, and still have room to finish the job?

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Originally Posted by Mr. Silver

I feel compelled to discourage defining absolutes...for example: "I will never work past 5PM".

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Hmm, I don't know if this was aimed at me or not, but I'll clarify anyway. I don't necessarily work in time absolutes. The only absolute for me is that work is not the most important thing in my life. This week I'm working 10 - 12 hour days in preparation for a conference next week, so I'm staying past 5, but that's my decision (or I leave at my usual 4:30 and then work from home). To balance that, I will likely take next Friday off because my work load will allow me to at that point. I just don't like it when other people expect me to stay past 5 even though I get in early every day. If I have advance notice, I can plan around it. Or if its really important I may be able to adjust my personal schedule. Most people I work with would think it unreasonable if I called a meeting at 7:30 am, I think its unreasonable to run meetings past 5 pm.

For me its all about priorities, I stop and ask myself, what's more important here? Work or non-work? Usually the answer is non-work.

"Nobody on their death bed ever said 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'"

Well, thanks everyone for the input! And this thread has given me a lot of thinking recently.

So here is some more info. I have been going in earlier than usual lately, around 6 am, thinking I will be able to leave earlier due to this, but it seems that because most people in my group don't get in until about 9, I am always stuck here with 'something that needs to be done' until around 5.

Which, honestly, may come down to me having a problem saying no. See, I like to get my work done, and if I have something on my to-do-list, I will do it so I don't have the stress of it weighing on me.

Yesterday I forced myself to leave work at 4. I didn't ask or tell anyone I was leaving. I felt furtive about it, but in respect realize that I had already worked 10 hours by the time. Nothing was urgent. I left work, and felt okay. I went for a ride, and felt great!

I recently had a meeting with my manager's manager, which is a pretty big deal, but he wanted to know how things were in the department. I think I did a really good job of bringing up the issues of us being overworked, and our hard efforts being unappreciated. We both agreed that we needed to have some sort of under-the-radar comptime thing going on, and I feel that my conversation with him made more of the managers aware of the situation. Perhaps they really just didn't know how hard we were working up here in our little cubbies.

I know that alot of this has to come down to me. Me, opening lines of communication with my manager and my coworkers and not being afraid to express important issues to those people in higher positions than me because if I don't, perhaps no one will, and also it has to come down to me being able to say no. Recently when I realized I was assigned more studies than any one else in our department, as well as doing multiple other things, I brought this up to my manager. I felt like a snitch, at first, because I knew my load might get shifted to another, but I felt it needed to be done. And to my surprise and happiness, I was listened to, and promptly the work load decreased (slightly, but there was a decrease).

Yes, I'm still busy. No, I fully don't expect to be able to leave at 3 every day like in my last job (but then at least here I won't feel stagnated and handicapped). But I do have hope now, that I might be able to *gasp* learn to actually like this job. And learn to balance my life around it.

Thanks again for all of your input, and please feel free to continue the discussion!

K.

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Originally Posted by Thorn

I've been reading this thread with interest. About 10 years ago, the smallish company that I worked for got purchased by a large multi-national. I was not, and never will be, a big-company, political thinking employee. However, I made good money at the big company and had great benefits. At the time I thought that if I just hunkered down and put up with it that I'd be able to retire at 55. After about 6 months of long days and too much travel, I realized that at the rate I was going, I wasn't going to live to 55.

I quit and started working for a small company. The transition was not easy, but 7 years later I have a job that I can live with (emphasis on "live"). My hours are just as long, but I set them. I work in the office 3 days a week and from home 2 days a week. When the weather is nice, I ride in the afternoon and work into the evening.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, yes, too much work is bad, but, perhaps, look further outside of the box. Do you have a job where you can rearrange your hours just a bit? I realize I have the ideal job for that and that some jobs must remain 9 to 5. But, if you have developed a good reputation for hard work and getting the job done, can you, perhaps, suggest alternative scheduling, one where you can fit in a ride, refresh the soul, and still have room to finish the job?

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Originally Posted by HappyAnika

Hmm, I don't know if this was aimed at me or not,

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It wasn't. I'm sorry if that upset you.

It may be a case of "If you want something done, give it to a busy person". Sometimes people don't understand or take into account all the different tasks that are undertaken in a day and when new tasks are delegated, some minor (and often unnecessary ones) are retained. When new work is added to your already bulging workload, something has to drop off the end. It sounds like you don't slack off during a day.

I am not in a highflying position, but was someone who didn't want to say no to colleagues and would often say yes, when I'd rather say no. Working with workaholics made me feel like I would be letting the side down if I didn't put in extra hours and take home stuff. Now I am braver (older and more experienced) and have begun to say no. Mainly to after hours non-paid extra expectations placed upon me i.e. meetings & training and development not relevant to my position. It is very liberating, though I do still have an attack of the guilts occasionally. When at work I am thoroughly dedicated to the job and work flat out. There is never a slack day.

Perhaps you could "break your boss/es in" gradually by leaving "on time" once a fortnight and then once a week and then more regularly, so they realise you won't be available after hours on those days. Prioritise - your health and wellbeing is important. Think about it - if you continue on this path, eventually your health will decline. Taking sick days off will be even less productive for your company.

Just for the record, I second (or third or fifth) the motion that you log your hours and show them. It seems to me if you're putting in a lot of hours when nobody else is there, you may need something tangible to show so that the guy "gets it" and understands the number of hours you're putting in.

The other question I have that I haven't seen answered (but maybe I missed it) is -- have you specifically arranged with your boss that you are coming into work early so that you can get off early? Or are you doing this on your own, and then feel odd leaving early in case others don't realize why you're doing it?

Ladies, those of you trapped doing more work than humanly feasible, I am so sorry that has to happen. We are all driven athletes because we are driven elsewhere in our lives, and there is a marked difference between GIVING lots of energy into something, and having it taken from you. Once the taking starts, the quality of work will decline, your mental state will decline--is that worth ANY job?

However, in consolation, know that this thread has been very reaffirming to a young person like myself who will be finished her undergrad in 1.5 more essays (naturally, due later today) and 2 exams (naturally, an hour apart), and who is panicking just a little 'cause she needs an average high enough for the grad school she wants into, and who just turned down a career in financial management that would have been more hours of the day and more chips off her soul than she was willing to sacrifice, even if she WAS the only one to get an interview out of 134 applicants.

I used to be such an overachiever, not to mention varsity athlete with an over-achieving coach, but it burned me to an injured, soulless crisp. Cycling helped me refocus and heal, allowed me to push my limits but still gave me the option to coast at the back of the peloton if I needed the break, and I'm not ashamed to need a break anymore. The horse helped me reprioritize--while I tend to ignore my own injuries, I take careful care of his.

I'll tell you what, I SLEPT last night despite those essays due before 5pm. I'm not stressing like I used to. If I don't get into my first program of choice, hey, I probably would have sacrificed my soul meeting its demands anyway--and there are plenty other interesting programs that will take me. If for some reason I pull it off, I'll know I pulled it off legitimately while maintaining the rest of my life.

Ladies, GET OUT while you still can! Who wants to be the bitter old cat-lady? Plenty of people will respect you for balancing your life, and they are the ones who really matter.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HappyAnika

"Nobody on their death bed ever said 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'"

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Exactly.
This is something my partner said to me once when I was moaning and complaining about work, and what one of my colleagues does and expects of others (ie, she goes in at weekends and stays late a few nights a week)

I am prepared for the next time she says something to me that in ten years I won't regret (or even remember) the meeting/whatever I am missing, but I will regret and remember not saying goodnight to my sons because I get home too late to kiss them good night.