Introverted poster/introvert in life?

Does anyone else suffer from this? I visit, I lurk and I post occasionally, usually under the spinning forum because I'm an instructor for the last decade. But, I'm also an outdoor rider that, I guess, feels like I can't offer much to the on-going discussions. I did post my pain when my brother died, and read the responses and appreciated all of them.

I also own my own business (personal training), but have a hard time joining in on the nutrition/diet/training conversations because, although I do well face-to-face, I have a hard time putting my knowledge and personality down in words.

So...it ends up being me, lurking and having conversations in my head.

Are there any other lurkers out there that can empathize with me, or am I the only one?

Forums can be cruel sometimes, and maybe that's where I've gotten sort of gun-shy.

No, you're not the only one. I'm very much the same as you and understand completely what you are saying. I tend to be rather quiet (not to be confused with shy) in "real" life. Get me in a group of strangers and I'll be the one listening to everyone and only occasionally speaking up, if at all. I seem to be the same here, posting only once in a while, though I've been around lurking for over three years. I don't really know why. It's just more comfortable for me to read what others write and then log off.

Judging by the numbers of times a thread is read compared to the numbers of postings in that thread, I'd say there are a lot of quiet lurkers out there.

Hey raindrop i was wondering how you were going?

I do post, but i kind of understand the introverted stuff. Often after i post i think "omg... what have i done, people will think i'm a complete moron"

but i've gotta say... that's what i like about TE... everyone seems to treat everyone's opinion with respect and nobody has told me i'm a complete idiot yet :o

but, whether you post or just read, i dont think it matters. Just wanted you to know that there are others who feel self-conscious too. I mean i even changed my login cos i know the trouble-maker at work knows i go to this site and i worry about her reading my posts... how silly is that? :p

oh well, it's just who i am... a worrier with low self-esteem :o but as i say, no one here has ever made me feel that way, quite the opposite, everyone has been lovely.... which is why i'm still here :D


so i say post when you feel like it, and some days be brave and post anyway... i love reading other people's contributions!

Thistle x 2 here.

THe old 80/20 rule seems to hold up in life, so my guess is that 80% of the posts come from 20% of the users. So, that means ya'll are in the majority, not the minority!

Savor who you are, the strength of your personality as it is...knowing that when you really have something you want to say, you have a safe place to say it.

Heck no you're not the only one. I think I lurked here for a year before I even built up the courage to register and then a couple more weeks to post! For me, it is the normal foot-in-mouth problem (?keyboard in mouth?)....even if I take the time to think through a post, I still fear miswording something and being misinterpretted (OK, it doesn't help that I have a slightly warped sense of humor and forget the smiley faces).

But, I'm sure Raindrop that more people would post to empathize, but....uh...they're still out there lurking and only thinking about answering :-)

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Originally Posted by Raindrop

Forums can be cruel sometimes, and maybe that's where I've gotten sort of gun-shy.

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That is an interesting comment. To me TE is anything but cruel. Its very unusual to see a cruel or disrespectful post here, its part of the culture. Obviously I am an extrovert so while I can't understand how you feel from direct experience, I can say participate how ever is comfortable for you, but don't not post because you are afraid of cruel treatment.

at least you guys are consistent.
I use this board to combat boredom at work and a certain amount of loneliness.
(two of my best friends moved away.... and I really don't have any girlfriends in town anymore...)
when you meet me I am very quiet and shy. Quite different from the loquacious soul i am on the forum.

I understand there are many many lurkers and that's pretty normal behavior.
I'm a writer too, maybe that makes it easier for me to post on here (and everywhere!)

I'm also terribly shy the first time I meet someone or go somewhere new. But I'm also pretty goofy, so once I get over the shyness I go a little overboard. (ok, a *lot* overboard!)

It took me a long time to get a grasp of the online forum stuff. I like lurking until I know a place.

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Originally Posted by Raindrop

Forums can be cruel sometimes, and maybe that's where I've gotten sort of gun-shy.

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I've been to other forums where the participants are a lot less respectful than they are at TE. That is, in part, caused by the opposite of the introverted poster/introvert in life - some people are much more brave and will say anything online because they don't have to show their face or reveal their true identity. I like TE because discussion is usually very civilized but I, too, am a little gun-shy with forums in general. I'm turned off by those "brave" folk.

I agree with Mr. Silver that probably 80% of the posts come from 20% of the participants. There are definitely some "regulars" here who do a lot of posting. That's not a bad thing - this is a good, active forum. But it can be overwhelming to newbies and less frequent posters whose questions or comments are quickly buried and overlooked. Can be hard to jump in.

Deb

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Originally Posted by Deborajen

There are definitely some "regulars" here who do a lot of posting. That's not a bad thing - this is a good, active forum. But it can be overwhelming to newbies and less frequent posters whose questions or comments are quickly buried and overlooked. Can be hard to jump in.

Deb

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Umm, I guess that would be me.... sorry.:(

I think part of why TE is relatively civil is because so many of us ride together, so we do know each other in real life.

welcome to the board and post away!!!! :D :p

Some of us have been here a while. :o Meet the TE top 5 (posters that is)*

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...hlight=posters

You're right....I'll log off, shut up ... and train!!

;) :D :cool: :rolleyes:

*PS: in real life, I'm not shy, I will talk to anyone but I'm very quiet.

I too have a difficult time communicating and lurk more than I post. Since discovering TE in Oct.06, I feel I found a place where people are accepting. I have many replies to other posts, but my "shyness:o " creaps in and I don't reply:rolleyes: . I like the accepting nature of TE...mostly women cyclists from all walks of life, all ages, all here with the idea of furthering the success of their fellow women cyclists. The support and encouragement is overwhelming and wonderful...hopefully one day, I will feel more comfortable posting :)

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Originally Posted by Trek420

welcome to the board and post away!!!! :D :p

also some of us have been here a while. :o

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...hlight=posters

perhaps you're right though....I'll log off, shut up ... and train!!

;) :D :cool: :rolleyes:

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Trek, Knot and I are catching up to you!!

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Originally Posted by mimitabby

Trek, Knot and I are catching up to you!!

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just call out when you pass me :D

Top 5 as of right now:
5585 SadieKate
3894 Veronica
3718 me :o
3167 Mimitabby
3085 Knott

But there's so many here I'd give the "quality not quantity" award too. :D

As I compiled this list there are members I was surprised how few posts they had written. That was because I'd read each one or many of them and have such a sense of the person "oh, you ride here, did this, posted that".

Uh, Trek? Could you re-do those stats on posts per day? Total posts is very indicative of length of TE membership while posts/day is more indicative of what the poor shy lurkers see in the daily conversations. And I ask this not because my name will drop off the list. :rolleyes:

And, you lurkers! I encourage you to post because you'll make some fabulous friends. Because I spoke up my circle of friends grew from hubby only to a whole bunch of TE women and their partners. Now, how cool is that?

Uh, SK, how do I find that? :confused: No really.

Lurkers, any one of you want to take this on?

Trek-math impaired-420

I'm procrastinating on my chores (Trek, it's right there under each person's profile).

This is what I think the lurkers see. The volume posters on a daily basis.
Of course, we could always start to look at the vital content of each post . . . no, let's not and say we did. Really, you lurkers, half of the yakking is rapport, friendship and support. Everyone has that to offer.

Bikingmomof3 12.62
mimitabby 11.46
KnottedYet 10.69
Lisa S.H. 8.78
chickwhorips 7.22
Lise 7.04
Nanci 6.51
Kitsune06 6.33
maillotpois 5.52
SadieKate 4.41
fishdr 4.07
CorsairMac 3.61
Trekhawk 3.48
DebW 3.25
RoadRaven 2.75
Veronica 2.49
Geonz 2.35
Trek420 2.22
KSH 2.22
Grog 1.91

thistle x 3 here!


i trust and respect more people on this forum than in my 3-D life,we are very very lucky

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Originally Posted by SadieKate

Uh, Trek? Could you re-do those stats on posts per day? Total posts is very indicative of length of TE membership while posts/day is more indicative of what the poor shy lurkers see in the daily conversations. And I ask this not because my name will drop off the list. :rolleyes:

And, you lurkers! I encourage you to post because you'll make some fabulous friends. Because I spoke up my circle of friends grew from hubby only to a whole bunch of TE women and their partners. Now, how cool is that?

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What SK says is so true. Without TE I wouldnt have met such an amazing bunch of women. When I first joined TE I was a recent arrival to the USA and brand new to cycling. I did all of my cycling alone and knew nothing. Some of the great women here in Northern California encouraged me to try an organized ride and I was hooked. Since then I have met many wonderful women from TE and their partners and spent glorious days cycling with them. Without this open arm welcome from the ladies here I would still be cycling alone 100 percent of the time and my number of friends would be cut in half.

They have enriched my life and when I eventually leave the USA I will take home many memories of this beautiful country but the ones most dear will be my time cycling with my mates here in the USA.:)

I have never been a part of an online forum before. I found TE when I was doing a google search to find someplace to have my VO2 max testing done. I have recently moved and I have new friends here but no riding friends yet and certainly no girl friends that have as bad a gear fettish as I do. I started by lurking and then one day soemone posted on the health forum something I knew a fair bit about, so I made the leap and I registered so I could post a response. I have since learned so much from everyone on this board and I love the posative vibe.

It's been a real plus for me to find people posting with similar interests. Especially since I'm kinda lonely here in my new place of residence. Since I've posted on this board, I've found 2 ladies that live no too far away that I hope to ride with sometime this summer!!:D :D And I found a friend that lives across the world that has invited me to come visit her!!:D :D

Moral of the story, don't be shy about posting on TE. Good things happen here!

I feel like I am at a cool party and it is okay to listen to everyone's conversations! But really, I'm shy, too. I'm still new to cycling, but you guys have helped me so much! I am planning on doing the Cinderella Metric Century this March...and I'm excited to have this goal!
I hope to be a good enough rider to meet some of you Northern California girls one day and ride with you. (There, I said it, that's my self conscious self talking!).
This board is SO different than any other one I have ever seen. (Just check out Whippet Forums).

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Originally Posted by whippetgirl

I feel like I am at a cool party and it is okay to listen to everyone's conversations! But really, I'm shy, too. I'm still new to cycling, but you guys have helped me so much! I am planning on doing the Cinderella Metric Century this March...and I'm excited to have this goal!
I hope to be a good enough rider to meet some of you Northern California girls one day and ride with you. (There, I said it, that's my self conscious self talking!).
This board is SO different than any other one I have ever seen. (Just check out Whippet Forums).

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Yikes nobody told me I had to be good to ride with the Norcal girls......hmm Im always at the back though so maybe thats why.:eek:

Next time a group of us are getting together you should come along, I would love to meet you.

Good luck with the Cinderella and dont forget to let us know how it goes.:)

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Originally Posted by Raindrop

So...it ends up being me, lurking and having conversations in my head.

Forums can be cruel sometimes, and maybe that's where I've gotten sort of gun-shy.

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I have my own story to tell about getting gun shy, but to keep on topic, I know there are times when I debate if I want to answer. Sometimes I think that no one wants to hear that, sometimes I think that if I replied in a certain manner, it would be cruel. I often spend five or six minutes writing a short reply, because I preview the message multiple times to see if I've hit what I think is the right tone for the message I'm trying to get across. And sometimes, I look at the message I've written, shake my head, and delete what I've written because I just can't get it right.

East Hill

I do that all the time East Hill, and I'm kind of a regular here. Sometimes I'll get something all typed out, and think "nah, I don't wanna share that...":o

I'm pretty shy and reserved in real life (shut up jobob!!!)

Raindrop, you're not alone! I'm pretty shy and just not as articulate as most women here. I lurk more than I post, and usually post on the running thread, because I'm more of a runner than a rider. Like Mimi, I also use this forum to battle boredom at work (thanks for making it so interesting, everyone!). However, this is a very welcoming, supportive group of women, and there's no pressure to post if you don't feel so inclined.

KB

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Originally Posted by Raindrop

So...it ends up being me, lurking and having conversations in my head.

Are there any other lurkers out there that can empathize with me, or am I the only one?

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I totally empathize! Just check out the number of posts I 've made. However, I've been a member since August, and have learned so much. I really enjoy reading the threads. Just once I want to post one of my rides or hang out in the thread drift (they always seem to have fun).

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Originally Posted by SadieKate

I'm procrastinating on my chores (Trek, it's right there under each person's profile).

Bikingmomof3 12.62

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If BMo3 didn't spend so much time posting, perhaps she would be BMo4 by now!! :D :D :D

Maybe her posting is intentional . . . :rolleyes:

Teddyparker - come to thread drift! It's lots of fun, nothing has to make sense or follow what anyone else is saying. C'mon! Tell us about your dogs or what great meal you cooked last week, or just hang out.

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Originally Posted by Bluetree

If BMo3 didn't spend so much time posting, perhaps she would be BMo4 by now!! :D :D :D

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OMG I am laughing hysterically. :D

Ack! I'm slackin!
I seriously thought I posted more often than that. Hmph.

Well.
As gregarious as I am online, I must say that I tend to be more self-conscious and reserved irl. To a point. It's easier to maintain friendships online etc; wordplay and reparte can be thought-out (and deleted!) and if I make a TOTAL azz of myself, I could always ditch the forum altogether. (like what happened to "Biking Kitsune", except there I only ditched... no embarrassment involved)

I've done my time as a 'forum goon' as it were.... now I'm just here b/c you ladies are a lot of fun to talk to. Like family.... that I could pick. :)

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Originally Posted by KnottedYet

Teddyparker - come to thread drift! It's lots of fun, nothing has to make sense or follow what anyone else is saying. C'mon! Tell us about your dogs or what great meal you cooked last week, or just hang out.

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Thank you, I will. Now I just have to find you;) .

I end up mostly lurking due to the limited time I spend on the forum. By the time I read all the stuff I want to read, lunch time is over, time to get back to work, and no time left to post. Also, I don't read everyday, so sometimes I read a thread and I want to contribute, but its 5 days old (or more) and I feel like everyone else is done talking about that and has moved on to newer topics. Furthermore, we are still using dial up at home, which tries my non-existent patience, so I never look at the forum on nights or weekends.

I'm pretty shy in real life, but once I start talking its hard to get me to shut up (especially after a couple of beers or glasses of wine :o ). It takes a lot of effort for me to keep my posts concise. I was a very, very active member on a wedding forum several years ago when planning my wedding, and came across as being much more outgoing. However that was during a slow time in grad school when I had a lot of time to spend on that forum and got to know some of the other ladies pretty well.

I love reading here, even if I don't post that much, because there is so much great information on cycling, and if i do have a question, chances are someone has an answer. Also its generally an itelligent, friendly, and supportive group of women, and I enjoy reading about others' opinions and experiences.

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Originally Posted by Teddyparker

Thank you, I will. Now I just have to find you;) .

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Uh oh. She's gone from shy and retiring to a stalker in one post. Ride for your lives! :p

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Originally Posted by HappyAnika

I was a very, very active member on a wedding forum several years ago when planning my wedding, and came across as being much more outgoing. However that was during a slow time in grad school when I had a lot of time to spend on that forum and got to know some of the other ladies pretty well.

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Ahem...would that have been The Knot? ;) Me too...grad school and all... :o


I have to say that I love this board. For the quality of the conversations (sometimes!) and the peace that predominates...even when the topics have the potential to get very heated.

For the lurkers out there, don't feel threatened. And if you don't want to post, that's ok too. :)

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Originally Posted by GLC1968

Ahem...would that have been The Knot? ;) Me too...grad school and all... :o

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Yes. *hangs head in shame*
That forum was like a drug for me at the time. Luckily I was able to quit the habit shortly after the wedding.

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Originally Posted by HappyAnika

Yes. *hangs head in shame*
That forum was like a drug for me at the time. Luckily I was able to quit the habit shortly after the wedding.

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A drug...definitely. I did meet some good friends off the local boards there, so I can't complain about that part...but man did I go overboard!

Can I ask when you got married and what your screen name was? Maybe we 'knew' each other? (I was married in March of 2003...is that anywhere near you?)