Mr. Silver Sends Thanks

I am grateful for:

• The support and affirmation directed at me personally from many of you,
• The general consensus that discrimination of any kind is inappropriate,
• The knowledge of that ring finger predictor in the debate post:p

So,why am I here?First, it's a safe and a generally wholesome place. But mostly I am here because I absolutely love my wife more than anyone can imagine. In recent years, we have gone through some very difficult times. At times, I didn't think we were going to make it...but we have and we will. Silver is the woman I will grow old with.

But, we are five years from being "empty nesters". As I look toward that, I place value on us having common interests and common friends. I want our paths to converge, not diverge...and I am choosing to follow the path of following my wife's constructive interests.

So, should any of you act differently because of my presence? I hope not...I have always preferred platonic relationships with women over men. In college, I was the "Theta Throb" (a/k/a "Chump of the Year":eek: ) for Silver's sorority...not because I was "tall, dark, and handsome" (I'm not...althought I am vain:cool: ) but because all 150 of those girls were comfortable with me. Trust me, there is nothing you can say on here that I haven't already seen or heard first hand:o :o .

I'm getting a bit long winded here, so let me close by saying:

Thanks for the comments, the constructive debate, and the inclusive consensus...

:D :D :D Mr. Silver repeats:

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Originally Posted by silver

I willingly submit myself to the accountability and encouragement of this group.

12/30/06: Weight: 190, Waist 35/36, BMI ~29:mad: :mad:
6 Mo Goal: Weight: 160, Waist 31/32, BMI ~25:cool: :cool:
'07 Goal: Ride the "Hilly Hundred" in Bloomington and hold my own with the athletically superior love of my life a/k/a "Silver" :D :D

This group (and only this group) has unbridled permission to hold me accountable to this goal. If I am slacking in my progress, you have permission to call me whatever "girly names" you need to get my attention.

...A man's forum is way too macho for me...

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I hope you will plan on joining the "Silver Family" at the Hilly Hundred in the fall.

Mr. Silver, you're cool. :) I didn't productively involve myself in the "should men be here" thread. Lots of good points were made articulately by many.

Anyway, I'm happy you're here.

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Originally Posted by Mr. Silver

we are five years from being "empty nesters". As I look toward that, I place value on us having common interests and common friends. I want our paths to converge, not diverge...and I am choosing to follow the path of following my wife's constructive interests.[/I]

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What a beautifully written post. :) My husband and I are 6 years from being empty nesters and have recently started to find hobbies we both enjoy. I completely understand. You and your wife sound very fortunate to have each other. :D

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Originally Posted by Mr. Silver

I hope you will plan on joining the "Silver Family" at the Hilly Hundred in the fall.

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The Hilly Hundred! :eek: I live in a very flat part of Ohio. Could we just run instead? ;)

Right on, Mr. Silver.

Rock on with your bad self! You and my husband sound a lot alike.

Like Malliotropolis, I didn't actively involve myself in the thread

However, my thoughts do come down heavily on the "no doscrimination on any grounds" part of the thread.

My partner and I are about 6-7 years from beg empty nesters also, and we spend all time we can together. We do not have girls or boys nights out, we do not go off on hunting or fishing or shopping or whatever trips with our mates -leaving one behind.

My greatest joy last year was a two week holiday we took with the kids where I took no work with me and we only spent 1-2 hours apart from each other at any one time (and this was during the bike race part of the holiday).

Although he rarely reads threads here, and does not post and has not joined, he regularly asks "how the girls are" and helps me formulate both my questions and answers at times, or helps me understand what others have written. He is interested in the women here and is particulalrly thrilled and impressed by women in their middle years who have faced demons or summoned courage or made time to do something for themselves...

This forum has also given the males in this house (my partner and our four sons) the perspective that someone who rides for three hours is just as committed as someone who covers the same distance in half the time. That the women who set cycling goals for themselves can be just as elated or just as devastated when their goals are met or just missed as any testosterone-laden elite male rider.

Its a great forum, and its diversity is its strength and all we should ask is that we are all respectful of each other.

Mr Silver, I honestly don't see a problem with you posting here. I think you offer an interesting perpsective and have every right to post here just like the next person. Yes it's a women's forum, but I think you have shown your postings that you are very respectful of that fact. I hope you are not chased off the forum continue to post here!

Mr. Silver-

Glad to see we didn't scare you off:D :D :D

I, for one, consider you a valued and welcome member!

Carrie Anne

who is slinking off to polish off a bottle of two buck chuck - we just got trader joe's in NC and I've been partaking...

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Originally Posted by CA_in_NC

who is slinking off to polish off a bottle of two buck chuck - we just got trader joe's in NC and I've been partaking...

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TJs has some of the best items at fantastic prices. :D

Now for anybody who doesn't know, the Hilly Hundred takes TWO DAYS. (I didn't do it one year because I didn't know that.) It is *do-able.* Not easy, but *do-able.* :) (Start early, though. It gets CROWDED. And please, practice going up hills without suddenly bailing!)

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Originally Posted by Bikingmomof3

TJs has some of the best items at fantastic prices. :D

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Yes, yes they do. This is not good for my productivity - but the desert wine is yummy (2005 muscato for $5.99) and the *ahem* two buck chuck Shiraz ($2.99) ain't bad either....

They really are pretty good on food too...Whole Foods stretches my budget - TJ's doesn't:D :D :D More $$ for bike stuff:D :D :D

/end hijack

Just tell me one thing all you wise people, at which age of child do you become empty nesters? when they turn 21...or... when they actually leave home...
I hate to tell you this, but one of my sons has been back once, and the other has been back twice, and he's here now and he's 28!
Don't you be bragging about empty nesting until it's a done deal!

Mr. Silver... you are welcome here!

Plus, we love nagging ya about what you are eating... ;) :p

Keep coming back... it's works if you work it! :)

Hey! I thought there was going to be coffee and pie here.

SK wanders off sadly looking at her empty hard cider bottle.

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Originally Posted by SadieKate

Hey! I thought there was going to be coffee and pie here.

SK wanders off sadly looking at her empty hard cider bottle.

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Im getting some of that cider tomorrow. You bad girl now I have to add that to the Cookies and Brown Cow yoghurt list.:D

Ooops sorry for the thread drift.

Glad you're here Mr. Silver. You remind me of DH. We love our together time and it's our common hobbies that keep us going. I'm happy for you and Silver, you seem a good couple!

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Originally Posted by mimitabby

Just tell me one thing all you wise people, at which age of child do you become empty nesters? when they turn 21...or... when they actually leave home...
I hate to tell you this, but one of my sons has been back once, and the other has been back twice, and he's here now and he's 28!
Don't you be bragging about empty nesting until it's a done deal!

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Sigh, I don't think I'll ever be an empty-nester. Two down (21 and 23) and one to go, but aaack, he's only 9. What was I thinking having another baby at 37! :rolleyes: (Actually he keeps me young...)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mimitabby

.... at which age of child do you become empty nesters? when they turn 21...or... when they actually leave home...
I hate to tell you this, but one of my sons has been back once, and the other has been back twice, and he's here now and he's 28!
Don't you be bragging about empty nesting until it's a done deal!

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Well Mimi, for me, it will be when they go off to college. However, if they come back, the determination will rest on how much rent they pay and whether they have eating and laundry service or not:p :p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mimitabby

Just tell me one thing all you wise people, at which age of child do you become empty nesters? when they turn 21...or... when they actually leave home...
I hate to tell you this, but one of my sons has been back once, and the other has been back twice, and he's here now and he's 28!
Don't you be bragging about empty nesting until it's a done deal!

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Mimi, the trick is to move house as soon as the last one leaves - and don't leave a forwarding address! They can't come back if they can't find you! :D

Disclaimer: I don't have children, I'm the subversive aunt who teaches them to drive their parents nuts.

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Originally Posted by Mr. Silver

Well Mimi, for me, it will be when they go off to college. However, if they come back, the determination will rest on how much rent they pay and whether they have eating and laundry service or not:p :p

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ahem....you know....for the most part....they already don't have eating and laundry service as it is now. :o (we've taught the kids to fend for themselves early)

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Originally Posted by SadieKate

Hey! I thought there was going to be coffee and pie here.

SK wanders off sadly looking at her empty hard cider bottle.

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They're serving pie in the other thread. We're drinking two buck chuck here.

Hey bud if you ever feel the need to leave there are other forums out there. The nicest and friendliest I've found is bicyclegroup.com. Also check out bikeforums.net but otherwise I hope you stick around.

Mr. S, glad to see you weren't scared away with all the who-ha. Whilst I truely appreciate all the ladies here, I have to admit to like having a male amongst us who isn't so full of his bad self.

I'd also like to say how wonderful a relationship I think you and Silver have. It does my heart good to see a couple so much in love, having worked through the tough times and keep their individiuality, grow closer through a common interest that is cycling. You are both lucky to have each other in your lives - I hope you treasure that always.

((hugs)) and high fives.

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Originally Posted by silver

ahem....you know....for the most part....they already don't have eating and laundry service as it is now. :o (we've taught the kids to fend for themselves early)

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Same here, but when my son comes home at dinner time, it's impossible for me to say "sorry, no food for you" because I always cook extra.

Mr. Silver, I too loved your post about becoming empty nesters. I can tell you (& everyone else) from personal experience that when a couple does not try to have mutual interests ahead of time, it can be too late once the kids are gone.

In a previous life, about 3 months from when my youngest would be leaving for college, my workaholic husband said, "Next fall, when Liz leaves, I am going to start coming home every day at 5:30." My response by then was, "Why bother? You didn't come home to see the kids, you never showed up at their activities, and you never had time to do anything with me..."

Keep up the good work, Mr. Silver - you are a gem! (& it's fun having you here!)

Our parents moved frequently from place to place when we were little. But we always found them.

P.S. I post at least twice as much as most people here, and I am definitely guilty of doing some of it for the attention. But believe it or not, I do sometimes actually restrain myself from posting!

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Originally Posted by matagi

Mimi, the trick is to move house as soon as the last one leaves - and don't leave a forwarding address! They can't come back if they can't find you! :D

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now this explains why my parents moved across the country after i moved out the second time.....

by the way mr. s don't know what's really going on around here anymore been gone to long, but you seem to be nice. been keeping an eye on your yahoo 360 page, good goals and good luck.

oh and a bit of a hijack... i've heard about this two buck chuck. is it really that good?

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Originally Posted by chickwhorips

oh and a bit of a hijack... i've heard about this two buck chuck. is it really that good?

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Hmmmm....I think it's more like it's pretty good and very cheap. It could hold its own against $10-15 bottles, but not against some of the higher end stuff IMO.

CA

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Originally Posted by CycleChic06

They're serving pie in the other thread. We're drinking two buck chuck here.

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You have two buck chuck in Maryland? Wow, this is a small world!

Mr. Silver, don't you have any single, male friends, preferably around age 30, who like to go on bike rides and live in eastern Pennsylvania or New Jersey?

Or maybe I could just clone you, with a rapid growth option. ;)

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Originally Posted by Offthegrid

Mr. Silver, don't you have any single, male friends, preferably around age 30, who like to go on bike rides and live in eastern Pennsylvania or New Jersey?

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great question! my only thing is alaska instead of the east coast.

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Originally Posted by Offthegrid

Mr. Silver, don't you have any single, male friends, preferably around age 30, who like to go on bike rides and live in eastern Pennsylvania or New Jersey?

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Susie, would you settle for 27, serious rock climber, and about to move to New Jersey to work for Johnson & Johnson? Former employee of mine who just completed his MBA...

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Originally Posted by Mr. Silver

Susie, would you settle for 27, serious rock climber, and about to move to New Jersey to work for Johnson & Johnson? Former employee of mine who just completed his MBA...

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Since I'm a J&J shareholder, does that mean he is an employee of mine, too? :D

Mr. Silver, don't go away. I enjoy your posts, and I know I'd like you in person, too. What a kind person you are!

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Originally Posted by Mr. Silver

Susie, would you settle for 27, serious rock climber, and about to move to New Jersey to work for Johnson & Johnson? Former employee of mine who just completed his MBA...

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Ooh, sounds cute.

*slaps forehead* Dang, I already got one of those.

:D

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Originally Posted by lph

Ooh, sounds cute.

*slaps forehead* Dang, I already got one of those.
:D

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LOL!!! :D

My mom died when my oldest son was 14. One of the last things she told me was that my husband and i should have a "hobby" to do together. I was always running out to the gym, leaving my husband home. When he started cycling, I would go to the gym then. It was him forcing ME to get out there on his old mtb, pushing me up a small hill with the back of his hand, that embarrassed me into wanting to become a cyclist. We also do almost everything together and while, I have friends, I don't feel the need for separate vacations, etc.
Even if your adult kids come home, you still need common interests. I agree with Mr. Silver. Although mine have not returned to the nest, if they do, it's rent time!

Robyn

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Originally Posted by Robyn Maislin

My mom died when my oldest son was 14. One of the last things she told me was that my husband and i should have a "hobby" to do together.

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I completely agree! My DH and I have always done things together....from home improvements, to cycling (he got me interested), to taking long walks with our dog, to traveling. In the past couple of years we've discovered that we love kayaking, hiking, and sailing together; and we're learning to do tilework by doing our new sunporch (which we built together -- he did most of the work, but I helped!) floor together. We hope to start doing some backpacking/camping this year too!

We were never able to have children so I think that helped us stay involved in activities together -- we've always been "empty nesters". Many friends of ours say that they envy all the things we do together and how active we are. I feel lucky too! We'll celebrate our 22nd anniversary this May. :)

Emily

Mr. Silver, I think you bring a wonderfully subtle nuance to the discussion here, and I hope that you stick around. If you do need to seek out some male cycling interactions from time to time, the Clydesdales on BF are a really great bunch of guys.