I just couldn't resist...

NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ---The Football Version

1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the championship.

If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship their footballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the championship.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents.

ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!

3. Talented players will be asked to workout on their own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like football.

4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th games.

It will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimum goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child gets left behind.

If parents do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for vouchers and support private schools that can screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children from having to go to school with bad football players.

ahh that is so funny. now if only they would realize how this sounds for the real no child left beind... don't.... get.... on.... soap box... :eek:

I LOVE this! :D

I shall refrain on my opinion of No Child Left Behind. ;)

Hey that was neat:) Now if they can incorporate that into all jh and sr high sports and teach parents good sportsmanship as well( the guy who took a .357 to a little league game last month b/c his son got no play time. Aaargh!

p.s. On a happy note, My high school( alma mater) football team is 10-0 first time in history of school. Playoffs start friday night. They're all winners to me.

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that was good:
War leaves ALL children behind.

Veronica---wonderful.

Not my work - forwarded around my school district. I like aka_kim's version in poor Milo thread.

That got a guffaw out of Thom!

V.

Great, thanks for sharing. I think I'll share this with my colleagues tomorrow for we all need a chuckle right now.

Love it, thanks.

barb

Actually, I found this kind of sad.

California has released some of the questions from previous tests.

http://www.cde.ca.gov/ta/tg/sr/css05rtq.asp

You may want to check them out if you're a parent to see what your little munchkin should know by April.

You may want to check them out to see how good your math and language arts skills are. :D

V.

this is too good Veronica! :D

I think I will share it w/ a few select people :)

Although NCLB has gotten some really good things started in my school, overall it is a very poor measurement of progress. - Get off the soapbox before I fall off

Funny, but not really funny b/c that's seriously what they expect out of the classroom. (Gotta rant for a second)-Yeah, because those who came up with NCLB have all had experience teaching to 100 different levels, and they know how easy it is for us to have 25 different learning objectives/lesson plans/individualized instruction for each class. Ha!
fighting...to...keep...my...mouth...shut....but...failing...miserably
Now if only the Congress would leave no legislator behind we actually might get something done around there
ohhhh....sorry:rolleyes:

I'll share that with my co-workers tomorrow. Maybe we should share that with our jr. high students- they REALLY would think it's just ridiculous (considering sports is their "religion").

Love it!

Remember NCLB was created by a moron, oops I mean president, who previously governed the state with one of THE LOWEST education scores in the country. Texas regularly does worse than the entire country except for a few reliably poorer states: mississipi and arkansas

Sorry, but I take acception to openly calling the president a moron and giving him all the blame for something that took more than just him to make happen.
At least he tried to do something. Thats more than I can say for some.


Oh, but wait, I guess us southerners are all just a bunch of poor hicks that don't know notin. Well heck we don't even knows us no good english either do we.

I happen to have a very intelligent son, who test very high and does very well in school. Texas may score low, I don't know the statistics, but you make it sound as if everyone in TX or poor states are idiots, including the president.

Now let's not get all political. :) Play nice(ly)!

My sister lives in Texas and she's pretty bright!

I don't know what the answer is to our educational system. I do think that NCLB is not it. I wish there was a way to legislate parents, to get all of them on board with trying to make our students more successful. You know I had two kids absent on Halloween because they don't celebrate it.
Even though I made it clear that in my class it was a regular school day with no Halloween activities. NCLB doesn't allow time for parties.

I have an ELL (English language Learner) student who is absent at least once a week because his mother doesn't feel well. He is often tardy and misses his ELL instruction because his mom doesn't get up on time. How can I get him to be proficient if he's not in class?

V.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DDH

Sorry, but I take acception to openly calling the president a moron and giving him all the blame for something that took more than just him to make happen.
At least he tried to do something. Thats more than I can say for some.


Oh, but wait, I guess us southerners are all just a bunch of poor hicks that don't know notin. Well heck we don't even knows us no good english either do we.

I happen to have a very intelligent son, who test very high and does very well in school. Texas may score low, I don't know the statistics, but you make it sound as if everyone in TX or poor states are idiots, including the president.

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OK wait a second. It's merely my opinion about the president (and my right to describe him the way I believe him to be, honestly). As far as all southerners and your son - I don't even know how you could jump to such a conclusion.

Just because a school district is lousy, doesn't mean any given person in it is smart or dumb. Clinton (hate him or love him - doesn't matter) happens to be exceptionally smart and he grew up in Arkansas. My husband, who I also think is quite smart, graduated from a high school where significantly fewer than 25% of the students went on to any additional schooling. Again, smart guy in a lousy school setting.

I am stating fact when I mentioned the school scores. It is hardly a reflection upon you personally. The states get rated, Texas always falls at the bottom. Does that mean your son is stupid? I don't think so. I don't know your son.

I want to apologize to you on this thread Doc. I know you didn't mean anything by your remark and I'm sorry for jumping like I did.
I was overly sensitive all morning and realized later when I was snippy at my Dr's appt too that it was totally me.

This is hard for me, I'm not usually sensitive at all. I usually blow any remarks people make off, because I know how easily written words can be misconstrued.
I also know that you and I and everyone else are allowed our own opinions and it doesn't make us a bad person if they differ from others.
So again, I apologize for my snippy, chip on my shoulder attitude this morning.
Please know I am usually very easy to get along with. Sorry :confused:

That's what I call a very gracious apology. :)

besides, the prez. might have messed up texas, but he's no texan.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DDH

I want to apologize to you on this thread Doc.

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No harm, no foul. Feel good.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mimitabby

besides, the prez. might have messed up texas, but he's no texan.

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How right you are.