Hair Woes & Opinions

OK, so this isn't earth shattering, but it is a symptom of stuff I deal with...

I had straight, fine, dark (OK, a little gray) hair. I had to beat the crap out of it every morning to get just a little bend in it. By noon, I was looking like a drowned rat - unless I used gobs of hairspray. Not good.

Went to hairstylist I've seen for 15 years. In the salon, saw older women with long straight hair - looked like a bunch of old hippies. Says I: "I do NOT want to be an old hippie! Dark, flat hair, begone!"

So, now I have a multi-colored (mainly blondish-red with dark undertones) short multilayered cut. Think Meg Ryan in her younger days. I think it looks good - but a HUGE change for me. It covers my wrinkley forehead and the lighter color seems to have lifted my face a bit. I don't know if I'll go to this extreme again, but I for now it's OK.

My friends & acquaintances have gone from really liking it to telling me they like it. Here I am, seeking approval. I even emailed my stylist & asked her if maybe I shouldn't go a little less blonde/red. DH is saying that it will take some getting used to. He's not a "long hair fanatic" guy, and actually likes my hair short. It's the color that he's having trouble with.

Have you ever made a huge change & had trouble accepting people's reactions? Why the h*ll do I even care?? Except I seem to care otherwise I wouldn't be posting this.

<Needing to grow some b*lls, obviously!>

I recently cut my hair from below shoulder length to a VERY short, but very feminine cut. I always had short hair in high school, but that was mainly because I was a terribly huge tom-boy! Now, I cut it short for a change and because I always liked it that way. Anywho...when my friends saw me, they all loved it, one even told me, "We've decided that you are not allowed to have long hair ever again." When I went in for a "trim", I accidently made the decision to do a different type of cut...more pixie like. I don't like it and am trying to get it back to the first cut (a bit of growing time involved). The moral of the story is...hair grows back! Great thing, eh? Which means, try out a few cuts, see what you like...same with the color. You can always change it!

I think the line "who the h*ll really cares..." says it all.

Nothing wrong with making a change with your hair: 1) hair grows back so if you don't like the change, be patient, it will grow back and 2) change of any kind is nice once in a while - it keeps us from getting stale.

Because I was having surgery and would have a prolong hospital stay, I cut my normally middle of my back length hair to a short bob. I did it at the last minute and was so glad not to have all that kong hair to deal with.

Now out of the hospital and returning to work I am really glad I cut my hair and in fact, am going back to the salon to have to cut even shorter. My hair now takes half the time to style. Less styling means my hair will stay healthier looking. Also the cut makes me look younger. Yeah a real bonus. Sometimes an old style just dates us. Long straight hair can be beautiful but also can make us look old.

Enjoy the new cut. They say when a woman makes a drastic change of her hair she's looking for change in her life as well. Maybe it's time for you to display some confidence, not worry what others think. Enjoy the new hair. It sounds fun.

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Originally Posted by bcipam

Enjoy the new cut. They say when a woman makes a drastic change of her hair she's looking for change in her life as well. Maybe it's time for you to display some confidence, not worry what others think. Enjoy the new hair. It sounds fun.

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Hmmm, very interesting because I am on the brink of changes.

I really like short hair - I always turn to look at a nice, short haircut on women. I do think that short can be very feminine & sexy.

And, as I get older (ahem...) I notice that gravity is winning in my face. A shorter style seems to have lifted everything up. And without the facelift!

Dogmama -- have FUN with your hair! If there's one thing to learn from the "youngers" it's that hair is FUN. I mean, look at all the wild colors people dye their hair. Blue, purple, orange!

I was a blond child and have dishwater brown hair now -- or would if I hadn't kept it various shades of red most of my adult life. I have gone to extreme burgundy and bright red. Every time my hair would fade out my sister would stress how much she LOVED it. At a time when I'd be ready to refresh the color. I told her she was showing her age -- she's so worried about looking "natural" that she actually looks drab. She doesn't want to look like she's coloring her hair because that might make her look "old" when the truth is, if she stopped worrying about it, and just went for the color that looked best with her skin instead of trying to keep the same color for years, she'd look younger.

Right now I'm doing something kind of weird with my hair. I cut it off when I started cycling in June, not caring what it looked like as long as it was short and easy. Surprise, surprise, it looks good. As the roots started showing (brown roots, red hair) I started getting highlights and lowlights. The highlights are blond and the lowlights are burgundy, mixed with the brown roots and red hair. LOL. Thing is, it looks like "tortoiseshell" which is really kind of cool and I get all kinds of compliments on my hair. I'm going to have highlights and lowlights again soon, maybe slightly different shades, but I'll be keeping the reds for SURE. Mainly, I'm having fun with it (which is a little easier when it's short).

So my advice is, pretend it's shoes and have fun. If you don't like something, change it. It's just hair!

Oh yeah, forgot to say -- having highlights or at least two shades of hair makes the cut show up more. My hair is fine and straight, too -- just like you say. Impossible to curl! So even short it's still fine and straight, but the highlights emphasize the cut. I sometimes just reach up with my fingers and tousle it and it goes from boring to pretty.

I've always found my longer hair to be somewhat of a security blanket. As well, without it, due to the shape of my face, I look like a boy with boobs if I were to cut it short. I've always envied those who could pull short hair off because it LOOKS as tho it would be so much easier to maintain and always seems to look good wet or dry whereas mine tends to look stringy no matter what I do. Ponytail usually ends up the winner.

I've had short hair (think Pat Benetar - yes it was in the 80's) but everytime I cut it I have major w/drawals for the long. And yeh it will grow back but it takes forever and then there is the "in between" stage......

If YOU like it without having to talk yourself into liking it, I say to heck with anyone elses opinion. Altho compliments always help. If you have to talk yourself into liking it maybe its not the style you want to stick with.....

PS your new baby's daddy is quite the stud!

I went from short spikes to growing out my hair. Now it's just about to the corner of my jaw. (I want to get it chin length)

The only time my hair has ever had "body" is when it's been spiked, cuz it's baby fine and thin and very straight.

I'm finding the longer hair is easier to take care of (don't have to cut it as often) and softens my bony face. And it's fun to play with! Bandanas and clips and tucking it behind my ears and *almost* able to make a ponytail.

And I haven't been called "Sir" in months!:D

The only bit of outside opinion that I fret over is that I don't look d*key anymore. Grrls used to notice me a little, now I feel invisible. But I like my hair.

KnottedYet "The only bit of outside opinion that I fret over is that I don't look d*key anymore. Grrls used to notice me a little, now I feel invisible. But I like my hair"

IMHO wear your hair the way you like, it's your hair :D You can always get the jersey that says "nobody knows I'm g*y"

Mine was always down past my shoulders and three years ago when I had surgery I cut it in a short layered bob. I got out of the shower in the morning, shook my head like a dog, put a small amount of goop in my hair and out the door I went. I had tons of compliments, and thought it nade me look younger.
Last fall, I started to grow it out for no particular reason. As it got a little longer my Mom says that she likes it soooooo much better. Figures.

So here I am, it is getting there, down past my collar, layers growing out, and I HATE IT. WHAT A HUGE PAIN IN MY A**. The blowdrying and the fussing and clips and ponytail that is not quite there yet!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRGGGHHH!!!!
And I think it is making me look older. I am not a fussy girl..think rockclimber and mt biker....why am I fussing with my friggin' hair....

Mom , that is why....


ARGGGHHH!!!!!

ok, I feel better now....

Some people like change. So they get used to your hair one way, and then you do something different and they love it. It doesn't mean it REALLY looks better. It could look good both ways.

Also, to a certain extent going with the flow of fashion can make you like your hair, and other people, too. Then you look back and think, oh my god what was I thinking? But in the context of the times, it looked great, and you can't forget that.

I look at Liz Taylor. She started off with the fifties hair, went long with bangs in the late 60s/70s, went 80s shag -- etc, etc, etc. One thing that helped her continue to look "young" was that she didn't stick to the same hairstyle forever.

They say that you can tell at what age many women felt like they looked the best, because they have never changed their look again. Same lipstick color, same hairstyle, etc. It's so TRUE. I think men are even worse.

I bet your hair looks beautiful!

Did your stylist warn you that red is very hard to maintain? I've had red hair since I started going grey in my early twenties, and if you aren't careful about using the right shampoo, it will either fade or go brassy. Also, leave-in conditioner is better than the wash out kind.

I went through something similar early this year---got tired of my long hair and had it chopped to just below chin length. This 30 year old awful girl/child at work said to me, "oh you got your hair cut." Nothing else. In front of everyone in the office. sheeesh. :rolleyes: Anyway, I didn't care becase I liked it because I'm a no maintenance type of gal, just like Rock'n Roll girl. I'm the bane of my stylist's existence because I refuse to blow dry my hair or consider anything other than a layered bob. I wash, run a comb thru it, glob in gel (by the way, Shikai makes a great gel for colored hair), scrunch the waves/curls and go.

I have been red for the past 15 years. My natural color is dark ash blonde. Red is the hardest color to maintain. Two hours in the sun and it starts to fade to pink or orange! It was not easy, but I hated the idea of being "dishwater blonde"- too greyish against my face.
A year ago I noticed I was getting a LOT of silver hair mixed in. That's when I decided to let it all go natural again. Now my dark ashe blonde looks GOOD with gleaming silver streaks mixed throughout, and I love it! It actually is more golden now too it seems, because of the sun I've gotten outdoors all summer.

The haircut is the easy part to keep maintained- once you get a person you liike and can count on. It's the coloring chore that I have always hated....but now I'm free from that. I LOVE having short hair- been 20 years in the "joan of Arc meets Mia Farrow" look.

Ah, the hair dilemma. This is an interesting one.

Years ago, when I was making very little money, I started growing out my super short hair because I couldn't afford the every three week haircut required for it to look good.

Fast forward to last year, and my hair was long enough that the stragglers were down to my butt...We made good money until this June, and I could have been doing all sorts of styles whenever, but had grown cheap. Straight long hair, baby doll bangs that I cut myself, DH doing the colouring almost often enough to keep me blonde.

I'm trying to grow my bangs out, and can almost get it all behind my ear so it's not in my eyes. Yay! and I did cut about 12 inches off before I started my new job. I don't blow dry (too hard on the hair), I wash it before bed and don't brush it until it is dry in the morning.

I do miss short hair for the not having to do anything with it, but that was a buzz cut - hardly the look I'd enjoy having today.

I'm afraid of the commitment to frequent haircuts that shorter hair means, but, I would rather like to have less hair to deal with...

Now I make pretty good money, but DH's income is less than half of what it was. Luckily there is a hair school here, so the cuts and styles will be less than other places, but I'm still not sure we can afford all those haircuts.

I've got a hair appointment there on Nov 10. I'd love to go short with copper highlights.....but it's got to be a wash and go style, I hate "product".

And I have to say, one of the reasons I've kept the long blonde hair so long is that I really have had lots of compliments about it. Approval can be so addicting!

I'll let you know what I finally decide.

Namaste,
~T~

I have the "long hair problem" myself -- many strands down to as low on my back as possible without being in dangerous territory (okay, some are in dangerous territory). It's fairly easy to maintain, wash, brush, tie back or leave down. All the same length, so I don't have bangs in my eyes or anything.

I go back and forth on cutting it. I can't braid my own hair very well, so when I go running and wear my camelbak waistpack, my hair gets caught between my back and the pack, which means tangles. When I wear my tri-suit with a zipper, my hair gets caught in the zipper. When I swim, I stuff it all in a cap (which gets easier after you practice) or it is all over my face. When I work, it drops down into my face, blah blah. Biking is probably the only time it doesn't really bug me ;)

I do get compliments on the length, though, and regular hair cuts are a pain. I don't want something I have to maintain with a lot of effort, even if it means I wear my hair the same every day or don't do anything exciting with it. So, I guess I'm indecisive ;) Not really looking for a change, but for practical reasons I might have to cut it a bit. Sometimes I debate cutting it all off and going for the spiked look. That inbetween length where it's too long to style like short hair and too short to style like long hair is hard, though.

Good to know other people have the "hair problem" even if it's not the same one. I guess everyone does, but so much of the "female identity" is tied up in hair that sometimes it seems like a bigger issue than it should be.

i can't even tell you how many times i've changed my hair and what its looked like. beauty school.... need i say more?

if you like it keep it. if you don't like such extreme color, tell your stylist that. its your hair. even if it is to much for you the color will fade a bit. specially reds.

my major question is this: where's the pic? i wanna see what it looks like.

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Originally Posted by chickwhorips

my major question is this: where's the pic? i wanna see what it looks like.

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Ditto. We will cast a vote so be sure to post before and after pics :D ;)

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Originally Posted by KnottedYet

The only time my hair has ever had "body" is when it's been spiked, cuz it's baby fine and thin and very straight.

...And I haven't been called "Sir" in months!:D ...

The only bit of outside opinion that I fret over is that I don't look d*key anymore. Grrls used to notice me a little, now I feel invisible. But I like my hair.

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My hair is baby fine and thin, but when I let it get to most women would consider it "short" it develops these weird waves (thanks, Dad) that make it pretty when it's long, but weird when its short. Like sticky-uppies in the back of my head, or the weird way it makes a hump in the front right qtr. of my head and almost *parts* on the side of my head. No, it doesn't look as bad as I'm probably describing it, but it feels that way. I use Hairgum (not sure who makes it but you can google it) and put it on along the roots, then just ruffle my hair. It sticks up for awhile, then settles and looks 'slept in' which is kinda cute. I've had little kids argue with their parents as to whether or not I was a boy. That's always fun. Mom's always mortified, but I smile... DGF takes great pains to look invisible, but I remind her that if she's standing next to me, I'm d*key enough for both of us and people will assume things about her, anyway. She pouts. :D

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Originally Posted by Trek420

IMHO wear your hair the way you like, it's your hair :D You can always get the jersey that says "nobody knows I'm g*y"

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I need that jersey... but it'd be way ironic for me to wear it... kinda like my tee that says "It's my boyish charm"... :eyeroll*

When I start to go grey, I'm going to grow my hair out, I think. I love old hippies, and someday I'll be one of them. :D

If you are happy with your hair that is all that matters.

I have had short hair, long hair and inbetween. My hair has finally grown out past my shoulders. Yay! I was tired of spending a small fortune maintaining short hair, buying product to style my short hair, and paying for colouring. I am not saying I will never go back to having my hair coloured, but right now I am enjoying my natural colour and being able to wear my hair up. I spend less time on my hair now then I did when it was short. :cool: