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Certain family members seem to think what I'm doing is a waste of time. They just don't get it. I'm not sure I do either, but I dream about riding. I dream about my bike. I love reading what people talk about here.
I guess it's the passion and liberty that I enjoy.
Anyone here go through that? Sometimes you doubt yourself?
I'm not going to stop riding either way, maybe they're threatened by it. :(
Wilda S.
Oh gosh yes! I go through variations of the "who am I kidding" and "what was I thinking" themes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilda S
And yet I muddle through. :D
My advice? Don't let the voices outside or inside your head stop you.
Welcome Wilda!
Make fun of me? Not so much. But poor dear husband gets it constantly at work and from friends. This weekend it was our tipsy friend insisting on knowing how far up my husband shaved his legs. Or more vulgarly if he shaved is anatomy too. :eek:
Doubt myself? I try not to. I try to channel my mom "Can't never could" she said all throughout my childhood. But yes, I doubt myself. When I agree to a challenging ride I think "Can I? No I can't" but I do it and survive sometimes I even thrive. Do I ever think I am devoting to much time to watching cycling, riding or reading about cycling? Not really but then again I tend to be a bit obsessive (passionate?).
Listen to Jobob, wise advice about hushing those voices. ;)
This is my response to people who insert their opinions where it's unwanted:
"What you think of me is none of my business."
Nobody makes fun of me for cycling because I'm an oddity all around in my little town for lots of other things. And I do these things with robust confidence, which makes it hard to criticize!
I'm sure the people I know in town who don't understand cycling had plenty of thoughts about it when we first met 4 years ago, but many of them were in AWE on Saturday when I told them my husband had just completed his first century. It was so priceless to hear their reaction while we were sitting at our sons' baseball game. People who may have thought we were nuts at first, now have a new found respect. I could see it in their faces.
Karen
I also tend to write it off as masked jealousy. They want to have the drive to do something like this. Making fun of you is their way of hiding they feel they couldn't do it. At least in some cases I believe it to be true.
Of course! I'm lucky that this is my husband's and my new hobby, so he understands. His golf clubs are collecting dust in the basement. However people at work think I'm nuts. They mostly ask "why?" I usually have some snappy answer like, "because there's a restaurant in Hermann/Washington/Alton (fill in the blank)" or we wanted to see the bridge/Lewis & Clark/standing rock (fill in the blank)," but then it usually turns to awe. They usually say, "wow, that's cool" or silence as they contemplate if they could do something so crazy. I'm sure most people don't believe they could do it themselves. I usually give a small pep talk such as, "You should try it. You can always pick up a bike at a garage sale to see if you like it. There's all levels of fitness out on the Katy/Creve Couer/Forest Park (fill in the blank) and if you can get a family/friend/SO to go with you, it's even more fun. And it's good for you!"
One friend I didn't even try to convince, went and bought a bike after I visited. I hung my head out the window of her car in LA and whined everytime we passed a biker on the paved path (It was a Saturday and I was missing a training ride for my century). When I went to show her the pictures on my computer, they all turned out to be pics of bikes or pics from bike rides. She called me a week later and said they bought bikes--I made it sound so fun!
However, something strange just happened with my sis. My DH convinced my brother-in-law to do a century. I jumped in halfway through their training. As we got to our 50, 60, 70 miles training weeks, my sis couldn't/wouldn't keep up. I explained that we needed a month to finish this up, and then we could go back to our usual cycling. I was surprised when BIL called the week before and said he was still in--I thought he had bailed. Whether it was related to the cycling or not, she refused to participate in our century weekend--not even meeting us at the finish. I'm still waiting her to cool off, so we can go back to our casual rides. :( I'm hoping she's mad at him and not me!
Doubt myself? All the time. But I'm pretty bull-headed. Not a natural athlete, but stubborn. Tell me I can't and I WILL! (DH learned that very early on--I don't respond well to NO)
You should make fun of their cholesterol.... or bait them into climbing a flight of stairs with you. Laugh at how out of breath they are.
Seriously... riding is awesome. I agree that it sounds like a bit of jealousy or just being afraid of what they don't understand.
Yup that is me. Not athletic at all (frikking DH is and it annoys me) but if I am going to do something and really tell myself I will, I do! Can't never could, man I hated my mom for saying that as a kid now I want to tattoo it on me for inspiration! Or as DH's stepmom said to him with her thick Missouri drawl "CAN'T DIED WHEN HE WAS A PUP, DO IT!" :pQuote:
Originally Posted by cunninghamair
I get it in winter. They all think I'm nuts in winter.
What I get more is my mother worrying about me. "I don't like to think of you riding on those dark, slick roads."
"Ma. 3/4 of it is rural and bike path. I'm lit up like a Christmas tree. I'm careful."
"Yes but I know Rhode Island drivers."
haha.
I worry about my own daughter riding. I guess it's a mom thing.
I think people are crazy NOT to ride, if they are able.
Call me judgemental.
Alternately I've heard it as "can't died trying to eat soup with a fork"Quote:
Originally Posted by Aggie_Ama
I NEVER think I CAN, but somehow mostly I do, in one fasion or another.
No one makes fun of me for riding, but sometimes I think they are probably puzzled..."116.9 miles in one week-end? But she's so fat...."
Barbara
I had this issue earlier in the year (started a thread on it somewhere). I used to be heavy, then I dieted and lost weight. For several years it was lots of negative comments and pointing out every time I ate something "bad". "OH! Look at Miss Diet eating cake! That's not healthy!" No, it's not, but you don't see me every other day of the week when I'm eating well. It was almost like they wanted me to slip up and go back to my old ways.
Last year I got into cycling. At first it was "You'll never be able to finish that ride." Then it progressed to "You're working out too much! You're too skinny!" This summer my entire family (parents and two sets of aunts/uncles) bought bikes:rolleyes: Most of them didn't use them, but my parents have really taken to it and are looking into buying trainers so they can keep riding through the winter!
It was really hard to learn how to shrug off their negativity. You have to do your own thing and what you know is right for you. I think they're afraid of change and maybe just a little upset about their own weight/fitness issues and that I've done something about mine and stuck to it. That said, I'm as supportive as possible with my parents. I want them to keep riding, to be healthy. It's nice to know we have at least this in common.
Well! I don't feel alone now!
I'm gonna go ride my bike...maybe back and forth in front of their house a couple of times and stick my tongue out:D
Thanks for the encouragement!
Wilda S
I don't get made fun of by family, but they just don't get it. I have my SO and my best friend who are as addicted as I am, so I save all of my babbling for them.
Cunning..maybe your sister did feel abit left out. I had to stop and wait for my sister who was visiting me and on a ride with me.Quote:
Originally Posted by cunninghamair
And this is a sister who jogs 5 kms. each time regularily..so she is fitness-oriented.
To encourage family members to cycle....it helps them that you the leader, will be there to encourage and in sightline on a ride together. Otherwise sis sees no point riding with you.
If it weren't cycling in my case, it would be something else.
If people need to put me down, that's their biz - though it does matter. Right now a couple of board members in our bike club want me *off* the board... apparently one of 'em thinks all this commuting stuff is NOT what the club should be about (so advocacy should be eliminated from what we do) - it should be about road biking for fitness and fun.
(At first I was going to let 'em have the club and see what good it did to alienate all but the elite... but then I re-thunk it... I'm still thinking hard and talking to other folks who are of a like mind...I just might run for prez.)