Dear Tech Support

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

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Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: "C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

Remember, though, that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly 10.8. Whatever you do: DO NOT install Mother-in- Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support

Hot Food 3.1 works for me; but lingerie 7.0 (or whatever) has ABSOLUTELY NEVER WORKED FOR ME????

I wonder what that says?

Maybe that Cycling 8.2 makes Hot Food 3.1 more desirable? or
Skinny Hard Saddle 2.0 makes lingerie 7.0 less desirable?:)

Too funny! :D

Excellent

Very funny. :)

:D I sent that to some friends. Very funny. And accurate unfortunately.

Hmmm....my Husband 1.0 skipped Beer 6.1 entirely and runs Snoring Loudly 10.8 at all times of the day.

Tears 6.2 has never worked, and Guilt 3.0 has only ever worked once, which booted Flowers 3.5 automatically (and with which I was not impressed). Jewelry 2.0 has never EVER worked and I demand my money back.

Not to mention, Mother-in-Law installed itself and Hot Food 3.0 runs entirely WAY too often, and has resulted in Husband 1.0 becoming too large a file. Hence, Lingerie 7.7 is totally worthless.

I must say, though, Tech Support is correct -- Husband 1.0 has very limited memory and mine does not learn new applications at all, even with repeated boots and re-boots.

I want my Boyfriend 5.0 back.
:p
~BM

Loved this one and sent it to quite a few people - and Bike Momma, very funny response!

My sister emailed and asked me:

So tell me, how does it work when you go from Husband 1.0 to Boyfriend 5.0? :)))

I replied:

Well since I made sure I got the extremely stable and well-tested version of Boyfriend 5.9 and made sure it had extra memory and was upgradeable to husband 2.0, it seems to be working quite well so far. Perhas it's partly due to my knowledgable and careful use of the program. Having used Husband 1.0 program previously, I know that I shouldn't expect it do things that it wasn't designed for in the first place, which are clearly outlined if read the box before you buy it. I have also found that if I reboot with Honeymoon 8.5 at least 3-4 times a year, the program is refreshed and any small issues are cleared from the memory.

Oh my God,

So funny...ROFLMAO. The best part about this for me is my husband is a tech support Guru. (I can't wait to show him this)





karen

I agree. My Boyfriend 1.0 seemed like a great deal. Unfortunately, all the same app errors started popping up, anyway, once I upgraded it to Husband 1.0. More and more hard and software demands, automatically loading WOW.exe on return home, and Inlaws2.0. Always.
Nagging2.4 didn't happen so much, except after TeenDrinkParty2.5 and the subsequent, frequent uploads the next morning.
I scrapped Husband 1.0 and went looking for a more compatible program.
I went mac.
Girlfriend 1.0 is awesome. It automatically opens and autofills TextEdit with little love notes, works better than iBank, is stable, efficient, and seems to have lots of memory. The GUI is pretty, and it seems to do it all.
My only complaints are that when I run iCry, the system balks and attempts to get me to auto-close the app, sends up warnings about how it's unreasonable to run iCry and threatens to restart occasionally.
HotFood3.0 and Lingerie 4.3 are not entirely compatible with Girlfriend 1.0 or together, because I get system warnings "error- 46342 unwanted weight gain?!"
iClean and iCook work phenominally well, however.
if iBartend and iCook work well together, I can run the iBuzz plugin for kicks, but it's not a necessary program, and while Husband 1.0 would auto-shutdown without it, Girlfriend 1.0 is much more compatible in general.
I love my Mac. :D

Hilarious Kits! :)

Well done, Kit. :D

Very nicely done!

cool, and while I'm not a gold star Mac user it's been so long since I ran boyfriend 1.0 it doesn't even count anymore. And since boyfriend 1.0 was freeware I never saw the need to get the costly husband series.

I realize by now there have been upgrades.

Current users of boyfriend and even husband software (hereafter in this post called DBF & DH) are up to version Senstiveguy 5.6c+. Newer versions are on the horizon by the holidays which will even run iAskfordirections and iPuttheseatdown! :p

Now both DBF & DH series are much more intuitive and dare we say, Mac like. :)

But I :::heart::: my Mac

I saw it Knot. :D