Dear So and So

Dear Mr. S,

I met with your Creative Director on Monday, and he was ready to give me the contract on the spot. I realize that with your recent re-org, you have high expectations and have put more hoops in place for your staff to jump through to bring in a hired gun. I'm fine with that, but if you go ahead and find time to review--and hopefully approve--my stuff, then that would make me really, really happy.

Thanks!
Dex

---------------

Dear Ad Agency,

The project we talked about today sounds really great. It would be even more great if you call me on Monday to tell me that you're ready to sign the papers and get started. It would be truly awesome if your schedule happens to line up with the timeline for when Mr. S's company is ready to bring me in...that way I'll get to work on everyone's cool projects and not have to refuse either of you.

Thanks,
Dex

Dear Furniture Company near Spokane,

When a customer pays 100% of the bill for a very expensive piece of furniture in early January with the written statement by you that it will be ready in 7-12 weeks, deliver the GD cabinet on time or be candid and honest about the delay. Proactive communication makes a happy customer.

Furthermore, when the customer contacts you with concerns about the delivery timeline due to travel schedules and other commitments, don't blow it off. We placed the order when our schedule would not have impacted the delivery.

As we predicted, I will be out of state and my husband has to change his travel plans because, even though your latest estimate had been this week, I just spoke to the shippers and they gave me a completely different schedule.

I think I'll give you another call and see if any one besides your snotty BS-ing office person has any ethics. You are the builders and not the middleman. You have 100% of the responsibility for this FU.

More later,

SK

PS - You may not care, but the furniture makers on the other side of the continent who received our orders last have already delivered. Guess we know who will not be getting any future orders from us.

Dear Ticks in Massachusetts (did I spell it right?),
Please leave my dog alone. She has never had a tick on here the 6.5 yrs she has been on this planet. The Advantix stuff should work. Why don't you just cut it out.

Dear Company I am Consulting for,

If you want to give me an offer, stop telling me that you made half of what I made in NV/CA. Enough already. If you want the good stuff, you gotta pay for it. I run circles around your engineers. Fire two of them, make me a manager. It's all good.

Dear whoever at the old company that decided you should move it to Mexico,

Two words: You. Suck. At least I have the memories.

Dear Intern -

You have been out of school for about 4 days. What makes you think you know all the policies of our company? And what makes you think you can come here and do anything you want anyway you want. We have ways of doing things here for a reason. If you want to work for this company, you should learn our ways and just do it. Stop fighting it and dragging your feet. I've been here a lot longer than you and I've been doing this a lot longer than you, I might have a small clue what I'm talking about.

Dar Office Manager -

How do you expect anyone new to learn the way we do things if you don't give them any direction. This is your job. Or, at the very least, it's your job to have someone tell him what to do. It is not my job to find out he's doing things completely wrong and then have to correct him. And then when I inform you of this problem, you should act like you care. Half the reason that we have the problems that we have with our files and standards is that you, as the manager, are not enforcing anything. You don't make a decision on anything and you don't make anyone have to follow anything. If there are 12 people here and we're all doing things our own way and there's no set rules, how do you expect us to work as a team and be able to help each other out.
If you don't want to do it, I'd be happy to take over this part of your job and do it myself. But I'm sure you won't make a decision about that either. You'll just wait it out and hope it goes away, like you do everything.

Thanks.

Dear Kristi
Did you happen to catch the sunday 60 minutes that talked about the "Millenials" the generation of kids born after 1980? the problems you guys are having are similar to what is happening in corporations all over the nation with these kids.

they feel entitled, they don't "do" criticism and they expect all sorts of perks for just doing their job. good luck!

dear mimitabby,

with all due respect, not all millenials feel and act entitled.

dear anyone feeling entitled,

knock it off.

dear parents of millenials, many of whom are complaining about millenial behavior,

what say you?

dear greatest generation,

what was it like when the baby boomers entered the work force?

dear everyone,

stop assuming and listen. don't listen to the response you're crafting while someone is talking, don't listen to yourself trying to practice "active listening", don't listen to your assumptions. just listen. with an open heart and mind. the misunderstandings subsequently fall away.

love,
me. :D

dear left quad muscle,

please start working again. i'm getting tired of carrying the team.

thanks,
right quad muscle.


dear maya the dog,

thanks for being so awesome on your first hike yesterday. rescuing you was one of the best decisions i've ever made. you rock! :D

love,
your mom.

Dear BF,

Can you please stop being so grumpy? I know you're tired from working so many hours, but you shouldn't let that ruin your time off. Lighten up! There's fun to be had.

Red

Dear Mimi,

We are not all that way but we also feel the burden of working with those you described.

Dear Red,

I am married to that man (okay not your man but he acts the same). Hang in there, they do cheer up.

Dear Colleague

How did you get through grad school the way you write? Did you even read the document before you gave it to me to review???? You need to do a major re-write before you send this thing up, our lawyers will eat you alive.

Dear Colleague and Mentee,

How did you get through grad school the way you write? Did you even read the document before you gave it to me to review???? You need to do a major re-write before you send this thing up, our lawyers will eat you alive.

Your Mentor

Dear brain,
Please coordinate function with the fingers. When I grumble about fools, it is best not to look like one in the process..

Thank you.

Dear Beth,

Thanks for the grin :D

Dear dog -

What is UP with the gas???

Dear maillotpois

That's not me. That's the puppy

Signed,

The dog ;)