Realty check - body image

That video was interesting, michelem. Thanks for posting the link.
I feel that way- like the media is the ones who make us think we need to be thin to be pretty or perfect.
Then again, I know how I feel when I'm thinner (better about myself in general). Don't know if that's from all the hype that's put it in my brain or not. When I was 25 lbs thinner I thought I looked good, but even then I still saw all my flaws and wished I was just a little flatter here or thinner there. That alone tells me I'd probably not be happy at any weight (no matter how tiny I got, I'd still find flaws), and that I just need to learn to be happy and love myself where I'm at now.

That video is AWESOME!!!!! sooooo cool! everyone should see that!

Hmmmm....this is a very thought provoking thread. and good discussion.

beware of random musings with no particular point in mind.

I, being a thin, fit athletic person, who has had plastic surgery, have had to really do some soul searching about my choices. I'm very comfortable with the choices that I've made. I won't get my feelings hurt, but I will not be silent when plastic surgery or "thinness" gets stereotyped and negatively addressed. I do try to present a more positve side...an alternate view.

I'm very thin boned, thin framed. my natural body type is thin. When I eat healthy food and exercise my body weight falls to a "thin" weight. If I eat junk food I gain weight. I actually am not a sweet eater and because I eat healthy I really notice my performance suffer when I eat junk food.

I worked hard to become fit and was very happy with the way that I looked except my breasts. Which as I explained before, I wasn't just flat chested, my chest looked deformed.

sideline to say that when I told my mom that I was getting the BA, she said, I always wondered why your breasts never developed. :rolleyes:

So, now, I'm very happy with my body image. I work very hard to become more muscular and stronger and faster. I love how clothes fit. I love being able to go into a store and buy a bra that fits. I used to hate shopping for clothes because of how poorly things fit.

But I recognize that my body type is more the type that perpetuates this pressure on young girls to be thin. I don't want to be a negative role model, it's my desire to be a role model for girls to be active and fit. However, this is my body type, (ectomorph) I'm working as hard as I can to be the most fit that I can with my body type.

as you know I have a 17 year old daughter. she is built more like Mr. she puts on muscle and weight more easiely than me. She's curvier. She's a nice A cup. She is beautiful and proportional! She turns heads. When I got my BA, I asked her what she thought, and she said she understood. She said that she understood that I would want to have breasts that were nice looking. I feel that she has a very good self image. She works out and is active and doesn't worry too much about what she eats.

This part is hard to explain......it's the point at which I finally decided to have the BA. I was always one that said I was happy with them, didn't want plastic surgery....put a lot of energy into saying that I was happy with the way I looked. Well, I was running at a Race for the Cure. All these beautiful women that had had breast Cancer. What a terrible illness! (I do not want in any way to detract from what a horrible thing that breast cancer is) They all had beautiful breasts! I understand that some were prothesis. and that not every woman chooses reconstrutive surgery, but a good majority do. Much of BA development comes from breast cancer reconstructive surgery. I was wearing a running top and completely flat. So here, I've been telling myself that having breasts aren't important....and these women you have faced death are celebrating and although I know they were celebrating life mostly, they were celebrating breasts. When they lost their breasts to surgery they mourned the loss of them. Why, because breasts mean something to a woman. It can't really be defined.

ha, enough for now.

That film about sums it up.
But I'm afraid it's bigger than all of us.
The weak will succumb.

Silver, I'm really touched by your post, and it's given me more to think about.

My sister, who I am not very close to, is a breast cancer survivor who has had a masectomy. I am very proud of her. Her attitude is awesome, she rose above a terrible disease and she's a nice person. She did not have BA surgery. She told me that she'd had all her kids and was finished using them anyway....I realized then that she was not defined by her breasts. She defines herself in other ways, which is perfect for her and her family.

I also realized then and am reminded now - I am not her. I am partly defined by my breasts, as can be seen in my original post. I know now that if I were ever in that situation, if I went through what she did, I would opt for surgery. I am proud of my curviness, generally happy with my body (always aware of imperfections and room for improvement as most of us are), and would want to rebuild myself after going through the grief and the healing....

Thank you, Silver. Thank you, all of you ladies, for such a great discussion!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

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Originally Posted by LBTC

Thank you, Silver. Thank you, all of you ladies, for such a great discussion!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

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Ditto!

Annie

So, back to where I started on this thread....not that the rest of the discussion hasn't been great....but this new strange sizing to consider.

Sure, I'd love to buy an inexpensive bra, but it absolutely must fit. So, now that I know the size I'm supposed to be, before I start randomly trying on anything that looks okay, I'm going to try to find the right size...34D.

All I can say is Good f*****ing luck.

Thousands of bras at Walmart. Not a single 34D. D's start at 38, with the odd 36 in there. 34's don't get past C.

Yes, I'll try another store next chance I get, and I'll let you know if I have any success. I may be destined to only buy expensive bras. I hope not.

Will the hoped for weight loss help to reduce the cup size? Hard to say. Perhaps. But I'm not going to lose weight fast, so I'll need at least one more bra, including a sports bra, in the meantime. Wish me luck!

Hugs & butterflies,
~T~

I have a few tidbits to share.

First LBTC - I feel your pain, a 36/38 A ain't easy to find either.

Second - I am lucky enough to have very nicely shaped breasts, however they are smaller than average. I also have spectacular abs. BFs in the past have always commented on how nice my breasts are, I on the other hand always wanted to hear how nice my abs are. I earned those abs, they weren't a simple developemental happen-stance. My breasts are a fluke.

Thirdly - I have opted not to have children in part because of what it does to our bodies. Sure, I haven't had PS but in many ways I'm more vain than many. Who am I to say if it's right or wrong to have PS. That would be pretty hipocritical of me.

Lastly - I have very close friend who just had a mastectomy due to breast cancer. She's 36 years old. She's currently going through consultations for her reconstructive surgery. I asked her what size she was going to get (you do get to choose and they do the other one to match), she said "I told DH if he lost 20 lbs I'd get a C, otherwise he's getting a B same as before." She cracks me up, I love her and I hope she wins her battle.

This thread has been really interesting, and not least, it's made me rethink some of my own values. I think the only point important to me when it comes to body image issues is "how it looks is less important than how it WORKS".

That's not to say that vanity is stupid, or pointless, or completely shallow, but I do believe that it's important to have a sense of perspective. We're all vain in some way or another, some of us more than others. Some of us on behalf of our bikes... And we change with time, and with different circumstances. I remember when I was a teenager, and swore I'd NEVER dye my hair (like my mother), I'd rather just go grey gracefully. Well FOOF to that ;) I dye my hair all the time. But I like to think I can just stop, and still feel fine about myself.

Whoever said that "it's only the obnoxious ones you notice" - very true. You don't notice the discreet, natural-looking BAs. I see skinny little teenage girls wearing watermelons, and I feel sad for their flatter chested classmates. My bust size is increasingly "invisible". (Funny thing is, quite a few supermodels hardly seem to have breasts either, it seems to go quite naturally with their skinny frames.) I used to go to an aerobic class that was half full with teenage girls obsessed with making their butts look good. I just thought, well, great, they're getting a cardio workout at the same time, and that might be really important for their health at some point.

I'm not really getting anywhere here. But it's been a education reading all the stories here, and I thank you all for it. I know everybody here is primarily concerned with keeping their bodies fit and in good working order and I can't imagine a better ideal for women. How vain we want to be on the outside is a personal choice, and I for one am going to be a bit more careful about passing judgement too fast.

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Originally Posted by LBTC

Will the hoped for weight loss help to reduce the cup size? Hard to say. Perhaps. But I'm not going to lose weight fast, so I'll need at least one more bra, including a sports bra, in the meantime. Wish me luck!

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Good luck :).

If you can remember the pattern you gained weight in, that offers a clue as to how the weight will come off. It's *not* a hard and fast rule, but often women who gain weight in the chest area tend to lose it from there too.

I know I've seen 34D bras available. Just not at Walmart/Target. If you've got an old fashioned department store around, check their underwear department. There's usually a sale rack tucked somewhere in a corner, with all the discounted bras stuffed on it. If you're a 34 or 36B, you won't find anything there most of the time. If you're an A cup, a C cup, under a 34 band size or over a 36 band size, go digging. There will be lots of odd colors, but you'll find cheap bras :). Victoria's Secret end of season sale is still going on too (tho it's about due to be over). Again, lots of weird colors, but for much less money.

Sadly, neither of those options work if you're much above a D cup :(.

LBTC, did you try Target? I've seen lots of 34D's there. I've even seen them on the sale rack. :) I wear a 34 B or 34C depending on the style. and so I notice the 34's.

Another good place is JCPenny's.

I searched victoria's secret clearance for 34D and came up with 3 in the link below. Personally I highly recommend the body by victoria full coverage bra and its available in your size in black and tan for $24.99. It doesn't get much better than that for good quaility. My VS bras last years when properly taken care of (don't put in dryer).

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/Sale...ypes=B&x=4&y=9

I've avoided this thread until now but I thought my experience might be helpful to some.

I hit full on puberty at 10, before I was 11 I was wearing a 36C bra. I went though high school with giant breasts (40D), they encumbered me and made playing sports (my sanctuary) painful, made me the focus of ridicule, and made me the focus of endless sexual advances from boys AND grown men. By the time I was 20 I was wearing 44DD and by the time they finally finished growing I was a 44E.

I spent years as a lifeguard, police officer, firefighter/medic, all the while dealing with breasts so large they impacted my breathing, hurt my back and neck, and made doing my job significantly more challenging than it should have been. At age 39 my parents gave me the best gift I ever received, they offered to pay for a breast reduction. I went from 44E to a B cup and could finally breathe again! My life improved immeasurably, I was no longer defined by my breasts, males looked me in the eye for the first time in my life, and I could ride and play sports without pain. The scarring on my chest is unbelievable, I looks like someone took a weed whacker to my chest, the scars are thick and ropey and sometimes uncomfortable. But I truly don't care.

Weirdest thing...the reactions I get for some women, so many wish they could have it done BUT their boyfriends or husbands wouldn't like it. Men respond by saying it's a tragedy and NO woman should have a reduction.

I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LBTC

Thousands of bras at Walmart. Not a single 34D. D's start at 38, with the odd 36 in there. 34's don't get past C.

Yes, I'll try another store next chance I get, and I'll let you know if I have any success. I may be destined to only buy expensive bras. I hope not.

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LBTC, listen to Knott, she is very wise :) She recommended Title 9 for me, I just checked and they have 34D :D

One example

http://www.titlenine.com/shopping/pr...ProductID=2164

Trek-The secret to inner peace is a great bra-420

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Originally Posted by Torrilin

If you can remember the pattern you gained weight in, that offers a clue as to how the weight will come off. It's *not* a hard and fast rule, but often women who gain weight in the chest area tend to lose it from there too.

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Weight gain was very hard to track due to the severe bloating that came with my illness over the last 15 months.... Walking has already improved the shape and size of my butt, the improvements in my health have reduced the huge belly I was sporting.... I don't remember when exactly my bras started fitting poorly in all of that, I was a little distracted. :rolleyes:

I think I lose it there last, but I'm not sure.

H&B
~T~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by silver

LBTC, did you try Target? I've seen lots of 34D's there. I've even seen them on the sale rack. :) I wear a 34 B or 34C depending on the style. and so I notice the 34's.

Another good place is JCPenny's.

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There is no Target or JCPenney's in my town. In fact, I'm not sure they are even in Canada!

H&B
~T~