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In December I realized I was happy until I began thinking about work. In January I quit my job of 15+ years. The director of engineering, a man, said to me last year, "You need to learn how to make being a woman work for you." During two conversations with the HR director about workplace issues, I noted he didn't record the worst offenses. Managers stick together and are part of the problem.
Any of you ladies know how a woman is to make her gender work for her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by pkq
As joke, I think he'd mean, play the coquette game. You know, bat your eyes, unbutton your blouse, let them talk innuenedo.... Seriously, sounds like your HR dept is very screwed up. Record the worst offenses yourself and talk to a lawyer.
irulan
Thanks for the response Irulan. A lot of stuff is involved but whistle blowers never win so it's best to let it die and move on. Many employees are depressed because of their jobs, which is unfortunate because it consumes so much time and energy. People really don't want improvements they just claim to want them.
the last sentence seems to contradict the first ones. You say it's best to let it die and move on - then you say people don't really want improvements, they just claim to want them. (The things that you'd blow a whistle about probably wouldn't be seen as "improvements" by the blowees, right?)Quote:
Originally Posted by pkq
I don't understand staying in a job that would mess with your head so bad.There is always something else out there, why sacrifice your sense of self, self worth and sanity?
Irulan
Geonz, when the CEO advances a diversity program, you'd think one of the charter statements would be to improve the working conditions of minorities and other categories of people. So a whistle blower on sexual harrassment should be viewed as making an improvement. But when management sweeps sexual harrassment under the carpet despite a diversity program, they really don't want any note given to that issue. I'd call that lip service. Female managers took the same position on these issues, which was mildly surprising.
Irulan, many feel trapped due to debt and family. I stayed because I didn't have the "grass is greener syndrome" but now I'm filled with hope for greener pastures. I have already turned down one plant interview because the work environment was what I just left. And you get used to having 4 weeks vacation and all the other stuff that goes with longevity with a company. A lot of words to say I ain't too smart.
In my case, I have 4.5 years to go to retirement, so leaving would be really stupid. Fortunately, I work at a major University, so when things get really bad, I look for a job in another department. It is like getting a different job but keeping your benefits. Still have the government, bureaucracy B.S., but nothing is perfect.
We're building a new building and I'm desperately trying to convince the "powers that be" that we need a shower for bike commuters. So far, they laugh and make comments about, "how about a masseuse, manicurist, etc." and these are from women (who - truth be told - couldn't ride a bike around the block - certainly not MINE!!!)
So much for progress. Bleech!
To back up to the question of nutrition and depression, what has worked for my partner and me is to eat animal protein, to eat it every meal, and to make sure we are getting enough good fats in our diet (fish, nuts, olive oil, safflower oil.) I know this is going to be controversal or even offensive for some people. The nutrition guy we have seen specializes in helping people with life-threatening illnesses through diet - my partner was definitely having life-threatening depression and was not tolerating any antidepressents well. A lot of the nutritionist's practices go against current modes of thinking. His argument is that the brain requires protein and fat to function properly and that when people started to focus on low-fat diets, there was a great rise in depression in our society. Everyone is an individual in these regards, and there are a lot of good arguments against meat. I loved being vegetarian and looking all my animal friends in the eyes without guilt. I give thanks to the animal, and have even had a discussion with our butcher about his attitude toward and means of killing. It wasn't an easy choice for us.
I offer this in case it can alleviate someone's suffering. If nothing else is working, it may be an important key.
Dogmamma, I worked for a large corporation and transferred around some. The men usually were problems so I wonder if I was really the problem, since I was the common denominator. I have been told by people I am intimidating, which may be the real issue. If something looks fun or challenging, I'm usually there. Life is too short to let things slip by.
I commuted last year some and got some condescending comments from the male managers. They didn't like spandex......or maybe they liked it too much.
To avoid completely hijacking the thread, I've read too much sugar affects mood dramatically and especially through menopause and all its stages. When you think of your body as a chemical reactor and foods as chemicals, it stands to reason what you ingest will affect your mood.
I've not been on site for a while and I couldn't believe this discussion. Thanks guys.
I've just been diagnosed as having depression and anxiety and have been put on Fluoxitine (prozac).Looking back it seems I've had this for years not just months and no-one realised. I've had terrible mood swings, irritability and anger, (over silly things),unable to ocncentrate on anything properly, feelings of being unreal and yes I have thought about taking a bottle of asprin or something like it. I've also had insomnia, lack of concentration, unable to make the simplest decissions. I only started treatment last Thursday but I feel better already. The doctor said it would take a couple of weeks for the medication to kick in properly. I know I've a long way to go but it's a start. Long may it continue.
It's so good to know I'm not alone in this.
Hey Roadrunner... welcome to the world of "better living through chemistry".
As I posted way earlier in this thread, I ended up diagnosed with depresion, stress, anxiety and suspected PTSD stemming from a hostile work environment. Had a breakdown and I went out on disability.
That was May 2003. I've been on my meds since and my disability benefits ended April of this year. I made the decision along the way not to go back to the corporate environs... and as I've mentioned somewhere else on TE, I', going back to school full time come Sept.
I am much better on the meds... there are still things that come up that give me the "wierd" feelings that I had mid breakdown, but I've been able to get through them rather than hide under my favorite rock.
Hope you continue to feel better.
spazzdog
Roadrunner - welcome back. Glad you're feeling better. "They" say it takes 2-4 weeks for antidepressents to work, but I've always had an immediate effect too.
After double digit years, I've been unable to take anything because I cannot handle the side effects. I've been on all of them. So, I'm working things through in therapy and also doing meditation and Reiki. I've been chemical free for awhile now (even bio-identical hormones screwed me up) and I feel better. I am perimenopausal and I think that has messed up my brain chemistry - I have to watch what I ingest a lot more closely.
Of course, riding is such a blessing. I'd be really nuts without it!
Ain't it the truth - me too!!! It's a screwy time to live through.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmama
Roadrunner, so glad to hear your voice here again. I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were doing. I'm hoping you will be feeling better each day. :)
So, as some of you may have read in another thread, i'm returning to college full time beginning Sept.
I am, at this moment, in the thro's (how do you spell that word?) of an anxiety attack. It's 3:50 am on the east coast and i'm still awake. i've taken my meds (9:00 pm) and here i sit.
How do I know I'm anxious... I've withdrawn into my art (if you can call it that). I've been designing a cycling jersey for no one for the last 4 hrs. I can't sleep... so for once I'm up with you left coasters.
No... I'm not looking for "le petite pity party". I guess that now, with one month to go, I'm just scared. O.K. I admit and accept the fear. Now what???
When some of you met me back at Cinderella, it was the first trip i'd taken in 2 yrs; heck, it was one of the few times I'd been out of the house since May of 2003. Now I'm throwing myself into the school thing... I'm 30 yrs older than most of the students; probably younger than the teachers. I'm second guessing myself.
I know it's ridiculous... I know it's silly. But I'm in the middle of it and can't seem to get out. I want to go to school, I really do. Jeez, I'm scared...
ignore this post. i'll be fine. i WILL be fine.
spazzdog
Thanks guys. I'm definately feeling heaps better now. It's just amazing how much better taking one little capsule a day can make such a difference.
Family and friends are feeling rotten not having picked up on it before now. I can work back to at least four years, my sister thinks it's longer, so I guess it'll take a while before all is normal (whatever that is) again!!