Dear Laverne and Shirley,
No, it is not humorous when you bolt out the door as soon as I open it when coming home. Nevermind the fact that you don't get very far as you only escape into the corridor, but I'm sure you enjoy me calling your name down the hallway and the show I put on for the neighbors when I have to chase and "catch" you.
Signed,
No treats for you today.