You win. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Zen
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You win. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Zen
Ya know, I've tried to redirect this, tried to ignore it, and I've flat out had it. So, I have a few things to say before I bow out.
I've decided that a combination of being "internet brave" and a desperate need to feel always feel offended/insulted is a dangerous thing. I should have known that though, because in my travels I've discovered that's just how some people are. It's like their body kicks out endorphins whenever they're aghast at something. This is the part where you tell me at my age I couldn't possibly know a thing about humanity. The awesome part about this is as long as you were born before 1/26/82 you can use that line all the way to your grave!
The way I see it, if that offends you maybe it's because you see that in yourself. I've seen numerous sweeping generalizations about "hicks in pickup trucks," that were far from kind. As a pickup driving country girl I could let that get under my skin, but I know that's not me, I'm not the jerk clipping folks with their rear view mirror and I recycle my beer cans so I have no plans to chuck it at you. I don't think of ANY of you ladies as the type to run out and buy a bike as a status symbol just because you can. That got lost in translation and once again I'm going to apologize but it will be ignored because being indignant is more fun than accepting apologies. I have the utmost respect for all of you but apparently that doesn't go both ways or you wouldn't have lit into me from every direction and then consoled yourselves calling it "sensitivity training."
I could totally see if I was totally new around here that perhaps people might think I was trolling for hissy fits. However since 99% of you have read my posts you probably have a feel for my sense of humor. Yeah a lot gets lost in translation and I believe I apologized for that several times but rather than let it go, the same folks who were so offended turned around and spit venom towards me, put words in my mouth, and made wholly unfounded judgments about myself and my friend. Hold on, I'm trying really hard to find the equation where two wrongs make a right, but since I'm, what was it, "Not the sharpest tool in the shed," I've forgotten my 6th grade math.
Here's the thing, every has a different sense of humor, thus the success of Borat. That makes life interesting. I was having a pretty craptacular week and my buddy's comments made me laugh my butt off. I realize not everyone finds the things I do amusing but if we only shared whitewashed Beaver Cleaver stuff I think this would be a pretty dull forum. I personally turned Borat off and was grateful I had the 5 at a time plan from Netflix, I suppose a similar theory could apply here.
As for words, they're only what you let them be. They only have the power you give them. After participating in my school's production of the Vagina Monologues I came to love "See you next Tuesday." It has a great ring to it in my book. I don't think cougar is bad at all. Guys get called much worse and hey if a woman is foxy enough to snag the youngins good for her, she can train um! :D One of the girls who worked in our office (now in Cali with her sweet BlkMrkt dirt jump bike) is a top ranked downhill superstar. She's a few years older than me, maybe 30, but since all the young boys in the scene chase her cuz she's a little hotty we call her a cougar and she wears it with pride. I say take it, own it, it loses its power. Perhaps I'm too young or spent too much time around old cowboys, but I've never heard anyone utter "broad" in a less than endearing manner.
Further, if anyone is going to get butthurt about this whole thing it should be me! "You're as good looking as you'll ever be." Eh hem! That's a nice way of saying "Hey, I saw you at InterBike and you aren't the cute little mountain bike racer you used to be."
And for the record, youth is not wasted on the young, and I have the xrays to prove it! Hey, if riding bulls, bikes, horses, and other objects that I can get tossed off of sends my chiropractor on a nice Hawaiian vacation, then it all balances out.
Anyway, it's late and I need to hop in the shower and get ready for my hot first date tomorrow with the purdy 2008 Blue RC7 my coworker's shop ordered for me (Gasp! The "sales pitch" failed, I bought from someone else!). It's been real, it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. I'll miss shooting the breeze with you all, but if I wanted histrionics (very big word for a dull hoe) I'd hang out on the RBR or MTBR forums.
I don't know, I think I want to see a picture of the hill...Quote:
Originally Posted by jobob
I know you've left, Smurf, but if you come back and you probably will, I'd like to know what exactly guys get called that are worse? The most insulting gender-specific word I know is directed at women, not men. And yes, I've seen the Monologues.Quote:
I don't think cougar is bad at all. Guys get called much worse
Karen
Hey wait! ....I had to walk to school barefoot in the snow in NYC and the snow hid all the broken glass, spit puddles, smoldering cigarette butts, and dog poo!! :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen
Me too! I had to walk through the streets of Newark, NJ and since my mother couldn't afford to buy me my own house key, I had to climb into the house through a window.
We did walk to school up and down hilly streets in the snow, but I confess that I did wear shoes in the snow.
Oh yeah, well I carried my tuba up hills both ways in the snow with no shoes on. :)
And you had to climb in and out at, oh, say, 1am? 2am?Quote:
Originally Posted by Biciclista
Dang Zen, your school must have been on one of those roads we ride on...
congratulations ladies--
this series of posts, well meaning or not, has obviously upset one of our sisters enough that she feels she doesn;t want to be on this forum anymore-- I was appalled at the comments directed at her when I read it all. the whole 'conversation' - irrelevant of who was in the right or wrong - doesn;t make me very proud of being a part of this forum right now.. we're here to support each other, not criticize and make personal remarks.
perhaps I will get some of the negative comments now, for saying this, but all of us have sent emails or made remarks that were miscontrued by others in our time and i for one, no doubt, will do so again in the future. i can only hope i will be met with more understanding than smurf, when that inevitably happens..
batsheva
Wait, what about all those people who were or have been offended by Smurf's posts? I guess their feelings don't count because they didn't decide to announce they were leaving. They decided to suck up their bad feelings, realized that this is the Internet and some things get lost in translation and moved on.
I think people were trying to be supportive in a very direct way. If you ask for advice, you're going to get it here and you may not always like it. I know that some of the comments made in some of my threads about my difficult class have really p!ssed me off. Too bad for me. If I don't like the comments, I don't have to read them.
Veronica
Batsheva,
I think this forum is wonderfully supportive and positive towards women. Which is exactly why so many were appalled by the message and intent presented in the original post. Many of us found it to be strongly derogatory and insulting towards older women. I feel that most all of the responses were actually constructive attempts to point out why this kind of message is simply not acceptable to us as active, accepting, thoughtful, and supportive women. Yet instead of any sincerity and reflection, I have seen only defensive posturing and excuse making in return. Well, if you throw out negative attitudes, you can't expect no one to respond.
Sorry, but I think that respect for, and the feelings of, at least half the women on TE counts for something. Frankly, I would have felt ashamed for us all if no one reacted strongly to the original post. Overall, I think there are valuable attitudes and experiences to be absorbed by all of us from this thread and the subsequent thread about how our perceived appearance effects our sense of self worth. I would be willing to bet that there have been many women helped by this self reflection. That includes myself. I have read some profound and inspiring accounts from many women on this and the other thread. We can all benefit from thinking about our attitudes, no matter how young or old we are. We can all learn from each other as we go through life. :)
I am sorry Smurf felt she had to go but the post that started this was a loaded gun. I hope she finds what she is looking for in a bike and hope it is everything she wants. Some of the advice in this thread was a bit judgmental/pointed but I honestly thought even if it was harsh it was meant with loving intentions. It also sparked some interesting and thought provoking debate.
Smurf herself gave me a post about my dog that I shouldn't feed her what the vet said and should take my potentially dying dog off the food he prescribed and get her on something else. I cried and agonized over who was right until my husband told me he was trusting his friend (also a vet) because he knew his education from attending school together. She meant well telling me she didn't think Science Diet was right and I know that. I didn't hold a grudge to her our the several others that agreed with her. My husband and I just made our own decision.
So yeah, people get feelings hurt. It is part of being adults. We suck it up, we say "that is their opinion and I can accept it" or we can't and remove ourselves. She has chosen to remove herself which is a choice.
86 posts and one member leaving over what made me grin... and click away... have you nothing better to do than get offended at something like this. People are dying out there in the world. For Goodness sake.
Wall said, Rabbit.
It's not the first time and probably won't be the last.
I enjoyed the evolution of the thread.
Two monks were once traveling together down a muddy road.
A heavy rain was falling. Coming around the bend,
they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash,
unable to cross the intersection.
"Come on, girl," said the first monk. Lifting her
in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
The second monk did not speak again until that night
when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer
could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females,"
he said. "It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"
"I left the girl there," the first monk said.
"Are you still carrying her?"
.....