Dear Jesus,
Thank you for the Japanese. I trust we are as endlessly entertaining to them. It's only fair.
L.
Printable View
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for the Japanese. I trust we are as endlessly entertaining to them. It's only fair.
L.
Dear rain clouds,
Can I ask that you stop weeping over the greater Providence area for at least a couple hours on Sunday? Perhaps starting around noon? It's been a very dull week, and I want to go for a bike ride, please.
best.../julia
Dear Mother Nature,
Could you please assign a higher altitude to those @#*(%^#$ clouds of little bitty flying bugs? Why do you make them fly in swarms at mouth height anyway? I mean, my lungs can't really use them, and I'm sure the bugs aren't particularly thrilled at being inhaled, either. It would be doing both of us a favour if you could get them to use the airspace above, say, 10 feet AGL, and I'll be happy with the airspace below that.
Thanks so much.
Sherry.
Dear lungs,
I know that you hate my exercizing, but I really long to get back on my bike. Everything I see is turning into cyclist going happily down the road. I would desperately like to be one of those people (or imaginations) again.
Dear B*!#% at work today,
I know that spina bifida sucks, but that does not mean that you sort of have a grandchild. That baby did not ask to be that way and most importantly, still needs and deserves the love of any normal child. And yes, it is the same as having a normal child, just a little different. I am sorry that the child is not as perfect as you, but he will still bring you joy. I suggest that you get off your high horse and figure it out. :mad: :mad: :mad:
Dear God,
Thank you for not having me come over the counter and killing that woman today.
Dear Lungs,
Thank you for not acting up when I had to get her out of my system, especially since my husband had the inhaller.
Oh yah, P.S. God,
Thank you for giving me a place to vent and laugh at the same time.
Dear house
Please forgive me for ignoring you while i am out biking...i would rather bike than clean you...
Dear legs& lungs-i'm sorry we didn't get to go & do the hill again today but i had to clean the stupid house..please be nice to me this week..
c
Dear Jogger who runs in the bike lane,
Perhaps you've been subjected to the heat too long and fried your brain, but I'd like to point out the three foot wide sidewalk next to you with nobody on it, as well as the Arizona statute that says a bicycle lane is for the EXCLUSIVE use of bicycles.
To the joggers in the bike lane running against traffic:
To the one out of four who actually hopped up onto the sidewalk...thank you.
To the other three who didn't...do you really want to play chicken with a bike going 20mph? I'm not going to sway into rush hour traffic to avoid you because you're too damn lazy to get on the aforementioned empty sidewalk.
To the joggers in the bike lane running WITH traffic:
Don't look surprised as I whiz by you without a ton of clearance. Again, I refuse to get creamed by an SUV because you won't use the sidewalk, and you obviously didn't hear me shouting at you because of the earphones in your ear. Turn down the music.
Thank you for your attention!:o
Couldn't have said it better. Maybe it's an AZ thing. We get it in Tucson too.
Dear Master of the weather
Do you think it's funny to give us gorgeous better than summer days all week and then on Saturday and Sunday, 50 degrees and rain?
We here in Seattle are used to the 50 degrees stuff all year round but it's not fair to give us Sunny and 80 on Monday Tuesday and Wednesday, and even better, Sunny and 75 on Thursday and then turn around and bathe us all going home on bike to work friday.
We've all here put in an order for 50 degrees and rainy on monday because none of us feel like riding on monday anyway.
apparently you aren't listening because I am facing another weekend with rain in the forecast for both days (and it's not just a consideration, it's a fact) and clearing up on monday.
hahahaha
Dear Sweet Puppy - I'm sorry that your owner is a jacka## and lets you wander across the bike path, making a "flexileash trip line" for cyclists. I'm sorry I scared you when I said "Passing on your left, reel the dog in please." I'm not sorry for telling your owner--under my breath, of course--to "pog mo thoin."
Oh, I am SO with you on this one. Cloudy and cold here in Victoria, after a similar week of 80F weather. I have a serious lack of motivation happening today....riding out in the cold wind with rain threatening seems like too much effort.....:(Quote:
Originally Posted by mimitabby
~Sherry.
Dear man at the gym who is old enough to be my father...
Yes, I'm working my traps. You get an "A" for anatomy today, I would give you a "good job" sticker but I left them in my car. I realize that I'm the only female in the weight room today, but really...you're creeping me out. Might I suggest that you stare at the floor, yourself in the mirror, anything but me.
Thanks,
girlwhoisnotimpressedthatyouknewIwasworkingmytraps
enough already. Okay...last week on White's Hill was hard....the downhills were scarey
and the vocal chord spasms were scary....but c'mon....enough!
you're keeping me from looking forward to the Ride. It's gonna be a differnt ride than I planned on, but really I want to have fun and enjoy this.
please...back off!
shadon, you will probably be nervous until you ride out on day 1 - it's perfectly normal! Deep breaths, relax as best you can....you will have the time of your life! :D
Too funny!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandy
It's weird being the only female in the weight room sometimes. I just put on my headphones & ignore them.
Maybe you could wear a t-shirt with a picture of your DH in uniform, that says, "Yeah, but you should see the traps on my husband!" ;) L.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandy
http://www.tinklebelle.com/Smilies/i...ughinghard.gif I'm in there so often without dh that I think I might appear to be single...especially when my lifting gloves cover my wedding band.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lise
I'd use the iPod technique, but I don't have one! DH was planning to get me one for my birthday when I told him I wanted my road bike instead. :D
Why did you have to pick today to ride up the same hill as me? Don't you know it's not polite to effortlessly glide past a 46 year old woman who is struggling up a steep hill at 6 kmh on her mountain bikes in 100 degree heat after she's already told her husband she doesn't want to climb hills today because it is way too hot but she has been dragged up one anyway? Don't you realize that men, who are also capable of riding effortlessly up a hill but are toodling along slowly so they don't get too far ahead of their newbie, out-of-shape wife, don't like to be passed by pretty, young things who might think they can't ride any faster? Don't you realize that the older, unfit woman gets irritated when her husband suddenly speeds up so he can keep an eye on your perky little lyric-covered butt, and make sure you realize that *he* can indeed ride faster? Don't you know that when this woman gets even more annoyed when her husband suddenly realizes that he's left his wife in the dust while he was chasing the cute young girl up the hill and guiltily turns around to come back to keep his wife company? And finally, don't you think you could have at least found another route so that the same woman and her husband didn't have to catch up with you later at an intersection and notice that you hadn't even broken a sweat while she was still beet-red, huffing and puffing...? Next time you see that woman, do the decent thing and TURN AROUND and take another route. Someday, after you've had 3 babies and haven't ridden in 15 years, it might be you... ;)
(My apologies if it turns out that it was one of you...) :rolleyes:
I wish.Quote:
Originally Posted by kelownagirl
No, no, I mean, I would've been much more polite! :rolleyes:
I also wish it were a bit warmer here. How is it that we have a high of 59 for today, and it's 100 in BC, which is surely north of Chicago?!? :confused:
Ride on! Lise
Dear pen & paper,
Please remind me to make a list and check it twice before i go biking....Had i made a list & checked twice i would not have left my shoes at home today...
I remembered i'd left me shoes by the door about 10min away from the starting point...
I ended up walking a certain mtb trail...noone was around though...!
:(
c
Dear CrazyCanuck,
One time when I was training for my first "real" triathlon (first and only, so far, not counting the super-sprint kids tri I did a year ago) I wore my swimsuit to swim, first, and drove to this really cool bike trail, and found out I forgot my bike shorts. So I had to ride in rolled up knit crop pants. I had a hard time deciding if I would look weirder with my bike jersey or my swimsuit...
So now I have a small bag with a spare everything in it in my truck- stuff that I don't miss, like my least favorite jersey and shorts and socks and shoes and swimsuit and a little towel.
And I just store almost all my bike gear in that Mountainsmith Modular Hauler thing in my truck, but I realize probably most people don't have enough room for that.
Nanci
Don't feel bad. I once arrived at a group ride to find I remembered everything but MY BIKE!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by crazycanuck
Umm doc, please tell me how you forgot your bike....????:confused:
I don't feel so bad now....
I just want to make sure the dirt & rocks still love me.....
:D
c
crazyc, this is how my thought process goes:
Mental checklist of things easily forgotten:
helmet check
gloves check
shoes check
waterbottles check
chamois buttr check
$$ check
snack check
OK I must be ready then!!
Duh!!!
My bike goes IN the car so I didn't have an empty bike rack to remind me. After all, how the hell do you forget your bike??? Imagine my expression when I opened the hatch.
Dear camping gear,
Please pack yourself.
Signed,
lovestocampbuthatestopack
Dear SUV owners:
I know you are very bummed that the bank won't give you another mortgage so you can put enough gas in your vehicle to drive to the gas station. I understand that you must leave it parked on the street. But would you please fold in the mirror so it doesn't take up most of the bike lane? I am sure I'm going to be clipped by one of those things some day.
Thanks so much,
Snotty Bike Commuter.
Dream on!Quote:
Originally Posted by Lise
I have one:
Dear Cops:
Did they tell you at your morning donut round-up that cars must give bikes 3 feet distance? So, how about it? Next time I can pick my teeth in some redneck's mirror - how about putting down the donut & giving him a little ticket?
Signed,
Resident in a "Bike Friendly Community"
Dear Landscape People,
I understand that you must park on the bike lane to do your job trimming trees, raking rocks and using your polluting leaf blowers to blow stuff all over creation (what do those things really do anyway, except move dust from one yard to another?). Would you please turn off the leaf blower as I'm passing and not blow rocks in my face? And is there any possible way you can clean all the tree branches and crap you've created out of the bike lane? That sidewalk looks real pretty, but nobody uses it anyway.
Dear Contractor,
I am really excited about our pending house expansion, especially about getting a weaving studio for me, new rooms, skylights, a porch, etc. And I've seen your work in several places so I know you do a good job. The only thing that really scares me is the money part. Could you please find someone ELSE to pay for the whole thing? Thanks!
I remain, best regards, etc.
PS And could you also a) find someone else to pack/unpack and move all the stuff on the first floor, including the seven full bookcases, or b) wave a magic wand and just have it be done. We are not looking forward to living in the little basement bedroom with its many spiders for five months. Much appreciated!
Dear Guy Throwing the Partially Full Pepsi Can Out Your Car Window,
What are you thinking? Oh, I am assuming you have that capability. Silly me.
Yours,
Bewildered Motorist Behind You
P.S. How did you manage to chuck that thing all the way across the front seat of your land yacht to toss it out the passenger window? And why?
Amen Sister!Quote:
Originally Posted by mtkitchn
Dear Parents of the Kid with the bb gun,
Would you please consider revoking your 12-year-old son's bb gun priviledges? He doesn't seem to have the capability of grasping the "don't point that thing at people" concept. Being a "people" type, I don't particularly enjoy being shot at while trudging up the grunt hill past your single-wide trailer. To be quite blunt, your son is not very neighborly when he uses us for target practice.
Regards,
The cycling group that is now avoiding your street
PS. Were your son my youngun, he'd not be hanging out with the older boy who "encourages" his bad behaviour. He would also have more supervision, less weaponry, and better manners.
Dear muscles on my shins,
Please stop hurting. I know that you like riding the bike, but we need to work on running, too. If you cooperate and feel better then I can walk around like a somewhat normal person again, instead of hobbling around. I'll give you some time in the jacuzzi tonight, ok? Will that help? Tomorrow we will try to run again. Hopefully you will cooperate.
Dear Fishdr:Quote:
Originally Posted by fishdr
Running stinks.
Love,
Reformed marathon runner
Dear Reformed Marathon Runner,
I agree! But I'm driven to do a triathlon for some mysterious reason. Why did I wait to start running until the temps were in the 90's??? 5:15 am seems earlier when I'm running then when I'm on a bike.
Love,
waiting for the replacement tube to arrive
Dear yummy foreign boys riding your road bikes from Vancouver, B.C. to the Mexican border,
Thanks for providing some eye candy for three stay at home moms while you were walking around your campsite shirtless. Oh, and you're welcome for the milk.
Love,
I may or may not have told my kids to go play on that tree in your campsite so I could walk over and talk to you http://www.tinklebelle.com/Smilies/images/bucky.gif
Did you at least get pictures of "your kids playing in that tree..."?Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandy
No :( I didn't want to scare them away. http://www.tinklebelle.com/Smilies/i...ughinghard.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by maillotpois
Edited to add...I just had to double check my pics to see if any of them made it in to the background and nope. I'll have to check with the two other desperate mommies and see if yummy boys made it into their pics. ;)
Dear allergies
Could you please go away so I can ride without wheezing? Please? I'd like to be able to breathe again and not be air hungry and tired all the time. My eyes would also like to not itch. I know you usually disappear by July 4th, but would you consider leaving early? I know I live in the mid-Willamette Valley, and that the valley is one of the grass seed capitals of the the world, and that I'm mostly allergic to grass pollens, but please????
Thanks, Barb
It's a form of illness. I have it, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by fishdr
Favorite t-shirts from the Chicago Marathon last year:
Running Stinks!
and
But I thought you said 2.62!
:p L.
Dear The Boy,
I know I told you that I didn't care if you went climbing this weekend (without me *pout*) while I stayed home for a family function. I guess I thought you would get the sarcasm when I said, "I don't care if you don't ever make time to meet my family". But I guess what I'm really saying is that a 5-year-old has more common sense than you.
Sincerely,
The GF
p.s. I can't help but feeling a bit vindicated that it's gray and rainy out and likely to be so for some of the weekend while you're leaving me alone yet again to face my family and explain that, no, you couldn't come and that, yes, you really do exist.