Dear Lazy Neighbor,
I picked up the old paint scrapings out of my side yard and your driveway yesterday, so the wind would quit blowing them around. I realize that you're the baby of the family, but you're in your 40's now and should be able to pick up after yourself. I realize that you don't like yard work - your ratty yard is indicative of that, but if you start a project, you should at least clean up after it. We've had several lovely days in the past week where you could of picked up the mess. I take care of my rented home as if it was my own home, while you live in your parents home scot-free. Maybe I should call your big brother to straighten you out?
So when you do have your house painted, would you please let me know so I can move my car. Considering the care and attention you give to everything else outside, I have a bad feeling that my car could get painted too, especially since my driveway is so close to your house.
Your neighbor, who's tired of living next to a slob,

