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I wish him the best in finding a "dream" job at this stage of his life. When you are not happy and you have the chance to move on, you should do so.

I always quit my job before finding one and it never stressed me. Hubby though is a different story. He never would dream of doing this without a new job in hand already.

I always tell my current boss (like others before) that if I am no longer happy with the job or what comes with it, I'm moving on. My boss teases me and tells me he knows that and he keeps the projects fun. :)

But at this stage of my life too, I can "afford" to do this and I have no stress. That is also why I've always managed in my entire life to put a cushion (money) away so if something happened or I was no longer happy in a job I'd move on and know I'd have something to pay the mortgage with. And even in between jobs, I always took vacation or bought big ticket priced items. Hubby goes nuts when I do this....me...nah!

So I'm sure your husband will do just fine.

Best wishes to your DH during this time, and may he find something that he likes better!

Hope he finds a great job, so very weird starting over at our age... but necessary if you want something different.

Regarding new jobs...

My view of my new gig: The hours are awful, the pay is insulting, my coworker (it's just the two of us) is somewhere on the spectrum and is supposed to be training me but actually has only interacted with me for less than five minutes total in the first four days, and the weird way the calculate vacation in laughable (I'll only get 27 hours of vacation in the next 16 months). BUT, I get 4 personal days, 14-16 holidays, and the place is clean.

It'll do for now. LOL

That made me laugh, Pax. Do you like the actual work?
There was a job listed today for a group private practice right down the road. I really don't want to change jobs. Yes, it's more $, but I've heard weird/creepy things about this place from clients, and I do believe them. I will think on it for a day or so, but I'd rather work more where I am at. Also, I really don't think I can leave my people. Some of them are just starting to make progress and others are falling apart, and I feel like I want to be there to help them.

I do enjoy the work, and I love the college students. They seem so happy to have someone friendly to interact with, I ask them where they're from and they just blossom, they all want to talk about home. The kids make the job for me.

You seem to enjoy your position, Crankin, seems like it would be a waste to make a change, especially if you've heard weird/creepy things.

In theory, I would never leave a job without having the next one lined up. In reality, I was once in a situation of being so utterly miserable and exhausted and stressed out by my job that I was unable to think clearly enough to update my resume and look for something new in the little spare time that I had. I was working 7 am - midnight every day and routinely getting yelled at by the b!tch-troll from hell nutjob who ran the company. One day while walking down the street a complete stranger who was walking the other way asked why I looked so angry. When the b-t from hell nutjob told me that she had "reorganized" the company and was eliminating my position, I was thrilled. The fog cleared from my brain and I was able to live again. Then my stressed-out immune system gave way to a cold virus and I was sick for about six weeks -- head congestion, sore throat, cough, pink-eye, it just went from one part of my body to the next, completely wiping me out. When I finally got over it a friend encouraged me to take a couple of continuing education courses at a local college related to software programming and project management for internet applications. I like them so much that I went all in, earned a certificate in dynamic website development and started a new career. I was unemployed for almost a year while taking the classes, except for some temp secretarial jobs that I was able to get. I wiped out my savings account but I have no regrets.

That pretty much describes DH's situation, but he hadn't looked angry. Just getting up at 3:30 AM.

How would you like this for a "forced" training. :) And I thought being chased for 8km by 2 large black dogs for 8kms was something. I think I'd die of fear with this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=kotWv4MCxNI

It would help a lot to find a job that one likes, not for just the money when it's in retirement years.

Ever since dearie took early retirement about 14 yrs. ago, he seems to take upon volunteer projects on cycling advocacy. The latest turned into paid work...his firm has been subcontracted to do finalizing and mapping the bike docking stations for Vancouver's lst bikeshare system set to roll out phase 1 this yr. He's so busy (it's only beginning) that he's had to delegate to his daughter to do online bookkeeping for his son's /her brother's butcher shop...which was what he was doing for free and doing financial modelling. He actually loves seeing and helping a little business grow. His son is incredibly lucky to have him.

Getting chased by an angry dog is bad enough but an ostrich? I thought ostrich can run at around 30MPH or faster. Oui.

Farming is my second career. Partly out of choice. I was tired of engineering design work for 30 years then I got laid off. Can't get a job at my age so decided to do what I liked. GARDENING!! and growing veggies/fruit. So I'm a farmer now. Not so Green Acres with Arnold the pig.

I don't miss my old profession all that much. One thing is for sure, I am happier for the most part. Strange in that farming isn't all that glamorous, its not easy, long hours, no such thing as weekends when you have farm animals. And if you do have animals, you end up becoming a mama who feeds them and clean up their mess everyday. I'm just a nanny and a janitor to my 150 strong layer chicken. Clean air? yes, except when the "neighbors" are engaging in Ag-burn where agricultural waste is burnt on site. think of it as an over sized camp fire which generates lots of white smoke. And yes, clean air when its pouring rain outside. Unfortunately, you are getting drenched head to toe even though you are wearing appropriate clothing. Its bone chilling in winter, its mind numbing hot in the summer. YOU REALLY HAVE TO LIKE FARMING if you want to be a farmer.

For your second career, do what you love if money is not all that important.

I did wonder if your DH might want to do handyman-type work, Crankin, since he seems to be so good at it (and like it)! Definitely sounds like a good post-retirement career when the time comes.

My DH loves that type of work too, but he isn't very social and doesn't like a lot of people, so he just does it for us, and our families. As a result, only rarely over the years of our marriage have we ever had to to hire out any work around the house, boat (when we owned one), and now, he's fixing problems here and there in our motorhome (most recently a shower leak). He loves figuring out what is wrong and how to fix it, and I am very very happy to have him to do these things! His father was the same way when younger, so I can see where he gets it.

He might want to do that, but not sure if he wants to do it now. He is very social, and started off owning his own mobile lunch truck business (before it was fashionable) in Phoenix, so he knows how to own a business. We grew up rather differently, so it is hard for me to see why he would like to do that kind of job, but I don't care if he does; like your DH, Emily, he enjoys the problem solving aspect of it all. We have talked on and off about him opening a breakfast/lunch place with DIL, but we don't want to use our money to do that! They would be a great team, though.
He says I am being mean, which I am, so I am trying not to say anything.

When I worked in marketing (my first career) I worked with a guy who was a big DIY-type. He had done some pretty complex projects on his house. When we lost a big client he was laid off and had trouble finding a new marketing position. So he got a contractor's license and got his name on lists of recommended contractors for handyman-type projects with some local condo associations. Last I heard it was working out very well for him. He was over 50 at the time. Soon after his career change he was able to stop taking medication for high blood pressure.


Okay holy crap it's been a bad day here. Loud renovation work this morning from the upstairs apartment -- which has been going on EVERY DAY 7 DAYS PER WEEK since Feb 1, but today was the worst -- so I started the day with a migraine, then sudden emergency drop everything for a new project at work and design the new application RIGHT NOW before knowing what the requirements are and we need to have a meeting right now at lunchtime where we just keep repeating the same things over and over. I started to feel very hungry and the migraine vertigo started to kick in so I actually had to interrupt the meeting to say that I had to get food immediately in order to avoid fainting. I had some snacks at my desk and then walked to a nearby deli, had to stop and sit down to rest mid-way there. And p.s. those high-carb snacks are not helping my attempts to lose the 10 lbs I've gained since last fall which are refusing to go away thanks to these g-d perimenopause hormone swings and if I don't lose at least 5 very soon I will have to buy all new summer clothes because I can't fit into the ones I have and I really do not have money to buy all new summer clothes in a larger size.

Sometimes I really just want to scream.

On the plus side, one of my nephews has the goal of a career in sports broadcasting, and he got the assignment to call the home opener for his college baseball team today. Thanks to the miracle of the internet I'm able to listen to it.

Yikes, sounds like a rough day, NY. I can kind of relate to your noise issues after living surrounded by mega construction projects in Mexico -- that was one of the main reasons we left after 6 months (originally planned to spend a year). It was really taking a toll on our physical and mental health. We did not go down there to be stressed out, but that was what we got. So I do empathize!

And as for your work situation, as a former software engineer, I can relate to that too -- changing or vague requirements, changes in priorities, deadlines moved up...stress stress stress.

Fortunately in my case, I did not have both of these things happening on the same day! :eek:

I hope things get better for you soon. Do you know how much longer they are going to be working on the upstairs unit?

Thanks Emily. Fortunately after lunch the migraine went away. I don't know when the upstairs apartment will be finished but I hope it's soon. They're working every day because it's for sale and the realtor listed it as soon as the last renter moved out, even though none of the planned renovations (including a totally new kitchen) had begun yet. So the owner is under pressure to get everything done ASAP. I mostly blame the realtor. Meanwhile I have also noticed that the renter dumped something off her balcony before she moved out and it spilled onto mine. It looks like clay. If I can't clean it easily (i.e, by pouring water on it) I will have to get the owner-who-is-selling to reimburse me for whatever it takes to get it clean. Of course we can add this to the list of crap I don't have time for but have to deal with because a selfish person behaved without regard for the other people on the planet.

The good news is that my home is currently very quiet at night -- both the upstairs and downstairs apartments are empty. The owner downstairs was looking into a bathroom renovation at one point but now they've got it listed as an available rental so I'm hoping they've decided not to do any major (noisy) work. I will not be sorry if it takes a long time for new people to move into either apartment!!

Glad you are feeling better, NY. I've only had a few migraines in my life and I would not want that to happen at work. And the noise, OY!
We found out the only azzhole on the board at our new condo is the one who just sold his house. Yay. I asked the quiet, retired engineer boyfriend of our neighbor why he was like this and he replied, "Because he's a mysoginist." This guy is so mild mannered and said it in such an angry tone, that I was thankful that I did not have to have any encounters with the trouble maker. Thankfully, the place just went to professional management, so I will not get involved at all. I get too upset with people in those kinds of situations.

NY, glad your head is feeling better. Hopefully the noise will stay to a minimum.

Crankin - I think your DH will be fine. So much of changing one's path in life is about *imagination* - being able to see oneself doing something completely different. It seems to me that he's got that in heaps. I haven't thought about this stuff in many years - myself being on the opposite end of the spectrum, as one of those many humanities majors who wound up in law school because I couldn't think of anything better to do, and also when a friend of mine convinced me that I'd be able to hang out a shingle on my own - I would never have been able to imagine myself as a solo practitioner without his help. But I saw it a lot in my work representing people with adult-onset disabilities, too. Some people have a real aptitude for reinventing themselves - and others are held back by their lack of imagination about what they could be and do. I'm thinking your DH is very much in the first category.

Pax, hope you're settling in.

Thanks, Oak. I know it will be fine, but for some reason, I am having this strong reaction, kind of like when DS enlisted. Part of it, I think is, being precipitated from the move. Although I fully agreed with the decision, right now, I kind of feel like I am being sealed in my casket, i.e. the last move (well, maybe assisted living), in a small space. I do not like that feeling at all! I've always been a deny-er of getting old, mostly because people in my family have aged well, even when they had "things," especially my dad.
I also see what you saw, in my clients who may have to re-invent themselves. I've found that when I say it in terms of finding something that helps you be true to your values, it resonates with them, and helps them move forward with thinking about something different. I mostly worry about the $... I've never been too involved with DH's career stuff. But, even when he tells me that most people would kill to be in our position, I still worry.

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Originally Posted by ny biker

The good news is that my home is currently very quiet at night -- both the upstairs and downstairs apartments are empty. The owner downstairs was looking into a bathroom renovation at one point but now they've got it listed as an available rental so I'm hoping they've decided not to do any major (noisy) work. I will not be sorry if it takes a long time for new people to move into either apartment!!

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Very good job of looking on the bright side!

Oak - my weird little coworker is finally opening up a bit, I was starting to wonder if I was going to be sitting four feet away from someone who NEVER spoke for the duration of the job! Mostly it's about the easiest job I've ever been paid (poorly) to do, so few complaints going forward.

Crankin - my wife is a big worrier about money issues. I came from none, have rarely had much, so I just don't care. But it seems to be on her mind a lot.

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Originally Posted by Pax

my wife is a big worrier about money issues. I came from none, have rarely had much, so I just don't care. But it seems to be on her mind a lot.

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I'm glad it's just not me! Ditto on the coming from none, etc. and money to me is just a means to other things I want to do. My husband worries a lot, and buys the cheapest things he can (to the extent that we're not saving money because he has to replace them more frequently). As we get older (we've been married 21 years) we're each getting worse and more extreme about our positions.

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Originally Posted by Aromig

I'm glad it's just not me! Ditto on the coming from none, etc. and money to me is just a means to other things I want to do. My husband worries a lot, and buys the cheapest things he can (to the extent that we're not saving money because he has to replace them more frequently). As we get older (we've been married 21 years) we're each getting worse and more extreme about our positions.

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Same here, I think with retirement looming in the not too distant future, she is getting more and more wound up about it. I find when you're used to little, you just get creative or do without, not the end of the world, especially since we moved to where we used to vacation... it's all right here.

Yeah, DH and I have similar backgrounds on the surface, but not really. My family was wealthy until I was about 13 and then it went to hell when the shoe business left New England. Spent most of my adolescence avoiding my parents and my grandparents did help me. DH comes from more of a blue collar background, where his parents spent everything and his dad was always getting fired. So, he is very good with the money thing, where I just don't like to deal with it.

I think having it once and then losing it would create some anxiety about money. My wife came from a professional family, not wealthy but very comfortable. I came from a blue collar military family where my dad made very little and when we moved (once a year) the govt. would lose his paycheck for two months (minimum). So it was always a case of never enough... things like traveling to a new duty station in AZ from MA in 1968, when we ran out of food in the cooler my folks stopped at a HoJos and and got two plain cheap hot dogs, they ate the buns and my brother and I got the more "nutritious" hot dogs.

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Originally Posted by Pax

I think having it once and then losing it would create some anxiety about money.

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That was my grandmother, but it was really my mom who developed the borderline-nutty frugal habits from living through it as a child. From wealth and social status to sudden poverty and ostracization, along with living in four countries on three continents before she was 12 (not military, so without whatever community and language support a child could get from that life). My Oma seemed able to adapt, at least by the time I was old enough to know her. My mom, OTOH - it's really only been since she remarried a year and a half ago that she's eased up on stuff like scrounging expired food at the grocery store (when she's plenty able to afford whatever fresh food she likes).

Um, so, I just found out that one of my friends died this morning. I had dinner with her and two other friends on Sunday night. She was fine. Talking about a possible new job and her collection of salt and pepper shakers.

A couple of years ago something similar happened with another friend. She had moved a couple of hours away so I hadn't seen her in years but we were in touch on Facebook. One day she was posting about getting lots of work done around the house, the next day she was gone.

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Originally Posted by ny biker

Um, so, I just found out that one of my friends died this morning. I had dinner with her and two other friends on Sunday night. She was fine. Talking about a possible new job and her collection of salt and pepper shakers.

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Woah. If you don't mind me being nosy, what happened? People don't usually up and die for no good reason, unless they're in a car/bike/other accident -- or have a stroke or heart attack.

So very sorry for the loss of your friend. That has got to be extremely jarring since you just saw her. :(

I don't know what happened (yet). Her sister just posted on her facebook page that she had died unexpectedly. She had been very sick a couple of years ago, due to an infection and complications related to diabetes. She had pretty much recovered from that but I guess it's possible that something else occurred related to the diabetes. She never mentioned other health problems. I haven't seen anything about a car crash on any local news source. Another friend is in touch with the sister to find out if there will be a local service, so she might have more information.

For the friend who died a couple of years ago, I never did find out what happened, since I wasn't close enough to her family. One thing I learned from that experience -- it's important to spend time with people, to make the time to stay in touch.

I'm sorry, NY. That's hard.

So sorry NY Biker :(

I am sorry, NY. What a shock. I hope you get to say "goodbye" in a more formal way. Is there going to be a funeral?

So sorry, NY, that's just heartbreaking.

Thanks ladies. I don't know yet about a funeral or memorial service. She was from Boston and most of her family, including her mother, live in that area. But she lived down here a long time so I'm hoping there will be a service for her here, and if not then I will suggest to some other neighborhood friends that we have a get-together in her memory.

I haven't done a charity ride in a while and I was thinking it might be time to do a Tour de Cure this year, since my friend was just one of many people I know who have diabetes. There are several TdCs in this area. The one I'd prefer to do, in terms of location, is the Saturday of Mother's Day weekend and I was planning to be out of town then. There's another one in June. I'm not thrilled by the route they use for that one so I might volunteer to support it instead of riding it. Or maybe I'll look into the one on the eastern shore of Maryland. I'm not sure yet.

Hoping all our PNW TE'rs are okay this morning...

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Originally Posted by OakLeaf

Hoping all our PNW TE'rs are okay this morning...

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??

Local news website here is all about LIVE VIDEO: Ron and Nancy Reagan together again. (Unclear how this is possible on live video -- zombie invasion??) Anyway no mention of anything going on in the PNW. I hope there's nothing serious.

No shortage of bad news lately.
So, our new living room furniture for the condo arrived today. We ordered it in October and they've been holding it for us since January. I seriously forgot what the stuff looked like. It's beautiful! However, seeing it here has led me to change which pieces I will use in the eating area. My dining room table and one of the hutches will look much better with this new stuff. My kitchen table and hutch will go in the basement until I get my dream of a second little get away in the Berkshires.
I brought my bikes here today, and took a little 7.5 mile ride. I know my way around, but no idea of the mileage for short rides. It was shorter than I thought, but lots of good ideas for rides. The Silque is coming back to the house until we move on Wednesday.

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Originally Posted by OakLeaf

Hoping all our PNW TE'rs are okay this morning...

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What's going on in the PNW? Growing moss on the north side, but that's nothing new...

Glad things are okay, Laura.

Crankin, it sounds like things are coming together nicely. And lots of ideas for rides sounds good!

Glad things are okay! I just saw the weather report and the last time we had winds HALF that speed, it shut three states down for a week and a half. I guess things are built differently out there ...