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I got my first pair of padded bike shorts in June. For about the first two weeks I wore them, everytime I got out of the saddle they'd get caught and I'd almost moon many carloads of people. Got me into the habit of wearing underpants under my shorts ;-)
In reverse chronological order:
1. Went on a road ride and the only jersey I had was one I wore maybe once. I also had forgotten my sport bra, so had to wear my regular bra. (and by regular, I mean frilly, fancy, and did I mention....see-through?) Can we see where this is going, folks? So as I finish my 45 mile ride and am going back to my car, one of my friends waves me down to say 'hi'. I stop and she says 'gosh, telegirl, you might want to zip up.' I look down and realize that the zipper on this jersey ain't so hot and had unzipped all the way down, leaving me basically riding topless. And I wondered why two different cars of guys stopped to let me ride across the road in front of them. :rolleyes:
2. Road riding and had to pee, so hubby tells me to go over this burm and by the railroad tracks cuz no one will see me. So, I am peeing and I hear this truck coming down the road. Oh, wait, no, it is a truck coming down the RAILROAD TRACKS. He politely waved. It is hard to maintain any sense of dignity in that situation.
3. Too many slow motion tip-overs at various times because of inattention.
Ok, there is not enough room on this board to cover all of these, so I will leave some stories for later.....I think almost everything has happened to me- except the oatmeal on the crotch story. I think that one is a first. :D
I had a decent one yesterday. I am learning to ride clipless. I head out for a morning ride yesterday forgetting to account for morning school traffic. I ended up in a spot where 3 school zones meet, so I decided to practice scooching along with the stop and go traffic. I unclipped on the left side and was doing OK. But when I lost momentum and a car was in front of me, I went over to my right. Everything went flying everywhere. I got a booboo on my knee. I felt dumb.
Oh, wonderful thread! Here are a few of my own:
classic: first clipless ride. I've been clipping in and out of those darn pedals all the way home as practice, so I feel I have the hang of it but I've obviously got the right one a bit too tight. So next light I coast to a stop, left foot out, hey - I can do this! And timber over to the right, of course.
ugly: I'm 16 years old, and have borrowed a bike too small for me to go to the store to buy ice-cream. I'm on my way back, going around a 90 degree turn, and stand up to pedal. The plastic bag I have hanging off one handlebar swings right into the spokes, the front wheel stops dead and I face-plant into the gravel. I broke both upper front teeth (now root canaled) and bit a sizeable hole in my lower lip.
dorky: coming down a large road at a fairly high speed, lucky, no traffic, music playing on my ear plugs... Cool music, Grease, actually, I start swinging my front wheel in time to the music (honestly, I *never* do this normally). Loud HONK! from a car trying to pass me. Oops, apparently there was some traffic there after all...