Originally Posted by
indysteel
I may get totally shot down for this, but I've really had more issues with competitive women than with men. The men I ride with are generally very supportive. In contrast, I've had a number of incidents with the stronger women that I ride with who act like they have something to prove, not just to the men in the group, but to the women as well. And I stopped riding with a friend who never failed to remind me that she was faster than me. I got sick of hearing it.
That said, I actually don't think it's a male or female thing. The truth is that some people make better riding buddies than others. For me, gender isn't necessarily the issue. I don't mind riding with a strong group if I know they will have my back if I start to peter out, and I avoid riding with people who'd rather outdo me than stay together.
At training rides, I have no expectation that anybody will stay with me because it's not a "no-drop" ride. If I get dropped, I get dropped. I don't always like it, but I also see it as a challenge to be proud of myself even when I don't perform as well as I'd like. When I first started doing the trainer, I got really frustrated because I couldn't always keep up, but I then tried to change my attitude about what success and failure means with respect to my biking and overall fitness. Any day I take care of myself--even if taking care of myself means riding easy or resting--is a success. Even if I can't keep up, I'm still working harder than the millions of people sitting on their couch!
That said, there are days where I'm not in the mood to go out hard, so I skip the trainer and ride with a kinder, gentler group.