It's like saying "Me too" to a previous post. Basically, add one more vote to the pile. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa S.H.
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It's like saying "Me too" to a previous post. Basically, add one more vote to the pile. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa S.H.
It's about your relationship with your brother. He may be a boorish control freak, but you're never going to change that. He's probably always going to give you obnoxious gifts, and run over you in conversation. The only thing you can change is you, and how you react to him and his actions. It's something I'm working on, myself. It's not easy, but it is ultimately freeing. Best wishes.
Fixedgeargirl,Quote:
Originally Posted by fixedgeargirl
Indeed it definitely IS about my relationship with my brother! If someone who didn't know me at all sent it to me I'd laugh and not think twice about it. Like people who get ugly ties every year for Xmas. Instead it's another reminder that he is so unaware of who I am and doesn't listen when I try to express to him who I am, what I think, feel...
But don't get me wrong- I'm not like losing sleep over this dumb basket!! :rolleyes: I've had to deal with lots of weird gestures from him over the years. :o
DH also assures me that he'll never change, and I've learned the hard way over the years to simply skirt the issues with him and fake my way through the "family visits" so as to avoid new problems. It's sad, but he can't deal with close honest communication. My other brother is so different, by the way, so open, and he and I have no trouble at all getting along wonderfully. I feel very lucky about that.
Thanks for your good wishes and wise words. :)
Sounds more like a joke to me . . . or maybe he's hoping you'll get a brand new tiny puppy to put in your new Toto basket? ;)
Like this, maybe? :D :D :DQuote:
Originally Posted by kjay
Attachment 2412
I had a package waiting on my doorstap today from a place called "art of appreciation". I opened it and found your standard "gift for a client" type gift tower. It was shaped like a snowman. It was one of those box towers that has some stale food item in each box. I looked at the card expecting to see a clients name on it, and found that it was from my sister in law.
I was saddened by the lack of thought that went into the gift. To me the gift is all about the thought, and clearly she put none into it. I actually would have rather recieved nothing. The trans fat laden "goodies" will end up next to the coffee machine at work.
Yeah it's still a gift, but I have the feeling it was one given out of guilt or something. I looked at the invoice and noted that the gift was ordered the day that she rcvd my package from fed ex.
I don't want people to feel pressured to give me a gift. I give gifts because I care about the people I'm giving them to.
When I thought about what to get her for christmas I remembered that she took pictures of the eggplant she grew last summer, so I decided to get her some heirloom seeds for her garden. I went online and found the seed company that martha stewart uses and bought from them. I browsed for a good while making sure that I was buying something that would grow in her zone in Oregon. I also got her some nice nursery grade plant stakes/markers and a cool gardening book. It wasn't a very extravagant gift by any means, but it was something I thought she could use. I even put a note inside explaining the thought behind the gift, because I thought she might find it silly that I sent her seeds.
To me receiving that mass produced bought in a moment of "oh sheat I guess I need to send her a gift now too" panic mean't I'm really not worth her time or effort. I guess it hurt my feelings to know that I'm not worth her time.
And for the record- Yes I appreciate gifts- when people put thought into them. But like others have said, if you can't think of something meaningful to give then maybe you shouldn't give at all. We all have enough useless clutter!
To me the best gifts are handmade, and if not handmade then anything that I know someone truely put thought into. My friends mom once knitted me this silly pink beanie to wear while I run. It even has ear flaps. Some would call it hideous, but I love it because I know when she was knitting it she had me in mind. Thats what counts. I have tons of those silly gifts that I cherish because there is love behind them.
sigh...
Anyway, I hope you all get meaningful gifts this holiday season! Stay safe out there!!
Merry Merry and HO HO HO!
Denise:)
and to those who think I'm ungrateful, I don't even want to hear it.... If you only knew me.
Lisa, I couldn't have wished for a better image. Very cute and exactly what I was thinking. :D
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa S.H.
Whoa, is that a doggie or a furry dragon?:D
I think we can all agree that we’ve all received gifts that made us go “huh?” For instance, I have friends and family members who give me guardian angel junk and twinkly jewelry every year, which someone may treasure but I sure don’t. I just say thank you and move on, but where I can I try to get these people to agree to exchange no gifts or, better yet, donate. DONATE! Items, money or time. It doesn’t matter, but none of those things need me to dust it and the recipient sure won’t be complaining about it.
Our family owns a farm in Illinois which is managed by a farm management company and operated by a tenant. Finally this year, after what seems an interminable time, we got the management firm to donate in our name to Heifer International rather than send us another mug or stale food item. We all feel good. None of us need anything but there are many others who do. Matter of fact, we exchange material gifts with very few now as we instead try to exchange the gift of each others’ friendship and love.
So, if you are not counting on a gift due to need (hey, a set of new car tires when you’re a starving college student is welcome!), encourage your family and friends to donate to particular charities. Bring joy to others and it will return to you.
Ah, nicely said.Quote:
Originally Posted by SadieKate
And actually I think you found the perfect use for the basket. Mr. Monster looks right at home in there. You could hang it on your front door to greet us all and give us a laugh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa S.H.
S'okay, you guys. We all struggle to understand such stuff. People for the most part are doing the best they can---however limited it may be/seem.
It could have been worse. He could have gotten you these...
http://cgi.ebay.com/Castelli-Gold-La...QQcmdZViewItem
Would these be considered safety/reflective? ;)
Stylin' ! :cool:
I guess MAYBE... just maybe... Julia Roberts could get away with wearing those, in Pretty Woman.
And then again, maybe not :D
Interesting thread though, touches on a whole lot of the angst around gift-giving and -receiving, which as somebody astutely pointed out, is not about the gift, but about the relationship to the giftgiver.
My mother has lived abroad in winter for many years, and has in general displayed an enormous lack of interest in the family. Several Christmases running she got a friend of hers here to buy me a Christmas present - a huge box of chocolates of the most generic brand available. Sure, she meant well, sure, the chocolates tasted good, but still - I was sad and pissed off every year by the complete lack of thought that went into it. It's the kind of gift you buy the postman.
I finally piped up about it, and now we just exchange e-cards. Which is so much better, as we actually exchange some good wishes and real thoughts...
Now I feel guilty because I think I'm the one you're referring to when you say you receive gifts that have little or no meaning. I'm the crappy gift giver...:( but I try, I really do.
Here's why
I admit one thing: I HATE buying people gifts. Not because I'm poor or because I don't like giving to others, or because I don't truly know and love the people I buy for, but because I never feel like the gift I give will be good enough. Even when buying gifts from the Salvation Army Christmas tree for needy children that I'll never meet- I have the hardest time picking things out that I think people will like (and these are people I've never met- it's even harder to "please" the people I know and love). And you can say, "I'm sure they'll love it because it's the thought that counts", but from these discussions, sometimes they don't and they hate it.
I've never been the person who says "I know the perfect gift for so and so" or been in a store and said "so and so would love that." It's so hard for me to think of meaningful gifts for people, so often I'm the one who sends the crappy box tower or buys the cheesy gift that somewhat goes with things someone likes (like the basket- seriously- that basket could've been from me). Shopping is torture for me. Instead of getting the fuzzy "I'm doing something good" feeling, I'm stressed trying to find something, anything, that they'll remotely like. I wish I could be like RM and remember the time her SIL took pictures of the eggplant she grew and got her vintage seeds. That's awesome! I sooooo wish I could be like that. I've tried to jot things down about the people I love, but I can just never find things that are "perfect" or sentimental or meaningful. I truly try... really...
So, when you get a crappy gift from someone you love, please be kind. Perhaps they're a terrible shopper with no clue what to buy you (like me). I try, I really do. I spend 2 months thinking of gifts for Christmas and always wind up with something "cruddy" for people.
Lately I've started painting for people. They're not paintings worth anything, but at least I try to pick scenes they might like. But even then, art is truly in the eye of the beholder, and I might love it, but they might think "where am I going to hang this crap?"
I'd rather just never exchange gifts....it's too stressful, and has truly taken the fun out of Christmas for me as an adult.
Ok- I'm ready for everyone to pounce on me. I can take it...
by the way- those shorts are HIDEOUS! I wonder if I can get them for my cycling friend... just kidding.