Thanks everyone!
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Thanks everyone!
OK this is selfish but I have to vent ... next weekend is this big music festival, we've had tickets for months, and now FIL has had a heart attack, DH is going out there today, and although we don't know the prognosis yet, given his age it's not likely to be positive. All I want to do is spend next weekend listening to some really great live music with DH and now it's probably not going to happen.
I hate being so self centered but it is like literally the only thing I have been wholeheartedly looking forward to in over a year.
I'm so sorry, Oak. I understand how you feel, and I don't find it self centered at all. Is it possible to go with a friend instead?
I don't find it self centered at all. Most of us wouldn't admit to feeling this way, so +1. I agree with Indy. Even though you probably want to enjoy it with DH, can you find a friend to go with you?
Hey, I went out to a planned dinner with friends and led a ride for my club when DH was in the hospital over a weekend, waiting for his angioplasty. He told me to go, but I know a few thought it was selfish.
Oh, Oak, I know what you're feeling. I don't think you're being selfish, you were looking forward to something and you had the rug pulled out from under you, and you're disappointed.
I've been in sort of a similar situation for a bit over a year now, since May 2, 2012 to be precise, the day my FIL, a very difficult guy to deal with in the best of times, was in a bad car accident and our lives have been somewhat put on hold by him. I've gone from frustration to guilt to anxiety to guilt to anger to depression and back to guilt (the guilt never actually goes away), although nowadays it's not so bad because heavy-duty dementia has set in and DH is more comfortable with going away for a day or two (so long as we're w/in good cell phone coverage). I've become so good at canceling / postponing plans it's like a new hobby for me -- we had a big trip to Vancouver Island & San Juan Islands planned for over a year now, and the lady at the booking office for the lovely rental house on Lopez Island knows my voice now, and she's been so sweet about rescheduling our rental (3rd time now :rolleyes: ). I've lost count of all the other things I/we have had to bail out on -- well, no, not really, I just try not to think about them :p
And yeah, I'm being selfish and self-centered when I resent how he's hijacked our lives, I know it could be much worse and I should count my blessings. And I do. But every now & then I allow myself a whiny interlude. This one should tide me over for a while, thanks for letting me unload. :cool:
Oh, Jo. I knew you were going through a lot with your FIL, but I didn't know the extent of it. Hugs, dear. I hope you get to go on your trip. It sounds like you really need it, and FIL will probably benefit if you and LeeBob get a break.
Oh Indy you're so sweet {blush}. But in my melodramatic ranting I may have made it sound like he's living with us -- that's definitely not the case. Heh, Lee & Dad would have been at each others throats in no time flat if they shared the same roof. :rolleyes: Dadbob was in a nice little apartment at an assisted living facility very near us for about 6 months, until it became obvious that his rapidly deteriorating health required round-the-clock nursing care. We were able to place him in excellent nursing home early this year, which has taken a huge load off us. It's a bit of a schlep from our home but we think it's worth the tradeoff for the top-notch care and pleasant surroundings, Lee goes to see him practically every day and I accompany him once or twice a week. So it's really not much of a burden, anymore (unlike this past fall & winter when I was kind of a basket case, oy) ... I guess the fact that I can talk about it now shows how much better things are. :)
Oh man jobob ... now I feel extra whiny. :p Although the family situation and personalities sound *awfully* familiar. Glad things are somewhat better for you and your family.
Anyway, thanks, all. Hard to tell yet what the situation is or how it will develop. It turns out FIL has pretty bad hospital-induced delirium right now, and let's just say the level of functioning in the family is NOT conducive to helping him get grounded... I don't understand DRGs these days, but apparently he's technically already been discharged from the hospital, but they're holding him as a 24-hour-a-day "outpatient" until he can get a bed in a SNF. Either that or figure out whether there's an available level of round-the-clock care that would let him go home. MIL really can't drive very far.
So everything's up in the air for now. As far as going to the festival with a friend ... I hate to even say it, but I don't have a single friend locally who's into the festival scene. It's always just been me and DH who go. All my friends around here kind of scoff when I talk about music festivals. :cool: Probably because the ones at the closest venue have an extra stony reputation - all the papers ever report on is the drug busts (mostly minor stuff, but the state patrol likes to make their presence known) and they hardly ever review the actual music, even the well-known acts. :rolleyes: This particular festival is maybe a little more broad-based, but it's farther away, too, one we haven't been to before. I *am* trying to decide how I would feel about going by myself if things work out that way. But it's really too early to know if either DH will be home *or* if I will need to go out there.
Oak, you should go alone. I went to a concert alone last year and it was awesome. If it's an outdoor venue like the one I went to, you will make friends there since you will have the common interest of music. This is an opportunity to find some like minded souls.
Oak, I agree you should go by yourself and have fun!
Note to self: when doing kettlebell snatches, don't hit yourself in the head with a 20 pound ketttebell! The side of my head is a bit sore today... For once is a good that that my bad shoulder limits my overhead weight.
Note to Landlord: what do you mean, my rent might go up almost $100!!!!????? I understand market prices but this is rather extreme...and I only have a couple weeks to find something else decent and affordable or I must commit to another lease! Seems unfair since my lease isnt up until September...but there it is. Apparently this is happening to everyone who started with an attractive rent.
Sigh, I am sure I will work something out, but it is stressful....it isn't like I've a lot of extra income.
I feel ya, Catrin. If I were to stay in my current apartment, the rent is going up $230/mo! Ridiculous.
I thought MY situation was ridiculous VBC - sheesh! My jaw dropped reading your post. My current place is ideally located for fitness/cycling/nature pursuits and I've been told there is a waiting list even with the new prices. Obviously they have no incentive to negotiate with me and their head office has become strict about getting market rate. I've been told that my rent wouldn't reach full market rate, but currently it is well below it. If it wasn't just me it wouldn't be such a big deal, but it is.
That sounds terrible, Catrin. Good luck with finding a place or deciding to stay. Being close to outdoor pursuits is what keeps us from moving anywhere too far.
Heading out in a bit to do a pre-ride of a ride we are co-leading down in Mystic Connecticut. I've never been there, so I am looking forward to it. That, and the fact that it's going to be about 95 here today and the predicted high for Mystic is 80. Although there is that bad air alert, but I am bringing my inhaler, in case. It never gets used, so let's hope there's still medication in there.
I've already decided. I don't need this stress and they have already told me that my rent WILL go up. They couldn't, however, tell me how much for another month but kept referencing others who had good rates who saw their rent go up 25-40%! I refuse to live with this stress. Moving is expensive and I need as much advance notice as possible to be prepared.
I've just returned from visiting a property owned by my last apartment management company that I like quite a lot. Much larger apartment, less rent than currently, quiet community and smaller. NO bad reviews, not even on the internet, and I know from experience how well they take care of things (I was with them previously for 6 years). Chances are I will have to go back to driving my bike to ride (outside of starting at 5:30 am on Sat. mornings), but I've done that before. I've plopped down my app fee and holding fee, I will probably still look to see if I can find something closer to downtown that I like as much but this place feels right. I've been checking them out during the evenings to make certain that the complex is as quiet as it appears to be - and it is :) They also provide a moving truck, free of charge, with enough notice!
When does your lease term end, Catrin? I'm not sure I understand how/why your landlord is forcing you to essentially leave now versus the end of your lease. Granted, I would need to read your lease, but I have a hunch that they're trying to do something they're not allowed to do, either under the lease or Indiana law. It seems to me that you should be able to stay in your apartment, paying the same rent as you always have, until the lease expires. At that point, they can raise your rent or you can choose to vacate. But to force you to commit to a new lease now or immediately vacate sounds like a quasi-eviction to me. I'd be tempted to call their bluff if I were you. But I realize that's stressful, and perhaps they really are within their rights. But it smells to me.
My wording must have left the wrong impression, sorry about that. The owners require a 2-month formal notice before the lease is up. So, while I am not moving until September, I must give notice 4 weeks from now unless I want to pay a huge penalty. This is spelled out in my lease and I knew that coming into this. I will not, however, give that formal notice unless I've something already arranged, that just isn't responsible and I can't swing that penalty. I've already been sort of looking for the last month or so and been very disappointed with my options...until today. I've worked out my budget between now and the move to make certain I will have what I need, now it will just take some discipline!Quote:
Originally Posted by indysteel
I just had a heart to heart with a friend who works in the office, and come to find out they just manage for the owners. I've been perplexed at some policy changes that appear to be focused on driving people away from the complex -which hasn't been their style in the 3 years I've been here. She tells me that I am just one of many planning on moving this year, and for the same reason. Apparently the actual owners are unhappy the property isn't making as much as they think it should, but the changes certainly isn't going to help THAT! Meh, I am over it. September can't come soon enough, but I will enjoy this last summer living across the street from my favorite local park!
Glad it looks like you might have a good option for another place, Catrin, though moving is never fun, like you say.
When we lived in an apartment in Chapel Hill they raised our rent substantially after our first lease term (just 9 months) expired. Since our condo still wasn't quite finished, we had no choice to pay it as we only needed three more months, and it certainly wasn't worth moving for that amount of time. The management company had also changed in our short time there, and the new company was a real pain in the butt. I knew of quite a few people who were planning to leave at the end of their current lease, including four others in our building -- and they all did. I am sure they're still finding plenty of people to rent there as it is a nice complex in a great location, but the people who had been there for much longer than us were very unhappy with all the changes put into place once the former, friendlier company got taken over by a larger, more "corporate" apartment management group. Yuk.
Good luck to you!
Is it something in the water around here? About a month ago a dear friend and his wife separated, after nearly 40 yrs of marriage. His friends could see it coming for a long time, but it's still a surprise when a couple that's been together that long call it quits. And then last night, another couple, both friends, announced via facebook that they were separating. They've been married almost 20 yrs, and no one had a clue that there was anything seriously wrong. He had cancer a few years back, now in complete remission, and that sent them into bankruptcy, but they had seemed to be doing really well together over the past year or so. Sigh. It's sad to see all this...
But on the other hand, I'm going to the 55th anniversary party for another couple this weekend. They're just hoping they both live long enough for this state to repeal our anti-marriage amendment so they can have their marriage officially recognized. It should be a great party!
Every single couple we were close friends with in AZ are now divorced. One I could predict in 1990, but the others, no. One was married 33 years.
Everyone else from there we were friends with who are still married, moved away, like we did.
Yes, something in the water.
The wait is killing me ...
I ordered my new bike about 10 days ago, and they said it would be in middle of this week. I called Friday to check on the status, and they said they would look into it. Turns out, my bike was sent to the wrong store. They are hoping they will have it on Monday. I will probably not have a chance to pick it up until Friday, at the earliest. Boo.
Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day for me. In the morning, we are leading the 29 mile ride for our club's bike rally. Then, at night, we are going to a group celebration of my high school class' collective 60th birthdays. This is not the school I graduated from, but the school I would have graduated from, had I not moved to Florida. So, it's really all the people I grew up with, until I was almost 16. It's a casual, appetizers and drinks thing, not a formal reunion. Already some drama going on, sort of under the radar, which is why DH is going with me!
Yesterday, one of my dear friends from age 12 on called me and asked me what I was wearing. I burst out laughing and said, "Gee, I don't know. What should we wear to the dance?"
The party was awesome. Everyone has mellowed. I reconnected with a friend who also had moved away, right after I did, and I had not seen her for almost 45 years! She lives in LA, but has had a life eerily similar to mine, including moving back to NY for a few years, so her kids could have the same environment growing up, as she did (which is almost the same thing I said to her about my choices).
The drama that I thought was happening, was true. A FB romance developing between my ex-bf and another person who also moved away. He's recently separated after a long marriage; see, these things can even happen when you are 60!
Very cool Crankin. Glad you had a good time.
Should I go missing, it's because my Chloe dog has killed me in my sleep. She developed a flea reaction (after 15 years of no issues!) and got a big hot spot on her side. To keep her from scratching herself bloody, I bought her a tshirt at Target. I cut the sleeves off, and removed the neck binding to make it more comfy...somehow I doubt she appreciates it.
Attachment 16374
Maybe if you gave her a say in the design? I hear she's partial to Honey Badgers.Quote:
Originally Posted by snapdragen
At least you didn't get Barbie or My Lil Pony or girlie dreck like that. We'd be sending out a search party by now. :cool:
super dog! watch out, putting that shirt on her is going to make her super strong!
Please, don't walk into a bike shop, pick out a pair of super-expensive shoes, then demand that the employees pick out the "best possible pedal" (for less than $100!) because you're spending sooo much money on these shoes, then demand that said employees affirm that the shoes that you are buying are in fact awesome.
:rolleyes:
I have a sunburn on my left arm. Totally avoidable and I am pissed at myself. Had a perfectly sunburn free ride and then went to eat, after rinsing off and changing. I rinsed the sunblock off, I guess. As we sat down at the outdoor table, I said, "I'm going to get a sunburn," and I did.
It doesn't hurt, but looks like I'm a dumb azz. Been putting Arnica on it, hoping to tame the redness.
Great! Two bomb scares in less than 24 hours--one where I work and one where I park. The first one turned out to be a backpack filled with fireworks and pot left on front steps of the federal courthouse. I'm unsure of the details of the second one other than that it was a suspicious device that a guard detected in a bag going through security at the federal building.
Hello again :), just popping in to say howdy.
Long time no see there! :D
Hi Crazycanuck!
I am recovering from being sick, for almost 10 days. It's just getting on my nerves. While it didn't morph into the dreaded bronchial complications, I swear, I felt worse than the last time I was sick, when it did. Of course, this occured right before a planning weekend trip. The weather looked awful, so we didn't bring our bikes. I was secretly jumping for joy, as I never could have done a 40 mile ride with a 4 mile climb. It did rain Friday, but yesterday was gorgeous. We ended up going to Mt. Greylock, where we did a modified type of hike of about 5 miles. No hike to the summit; we did 2 miles on a trail and about 2.7 on a dirt road with a steady 2-3% grade that led to an overlook that was worth it. Then we drove to the summit. I definitely feel better today, but I am going to make myself do no exercise until at least Tuesday. I don't even have 800 miles ridden this year, it's depressing. It's been at least 8-9 years since I did't have at least 1,000 miles by July 1.
That really stinks, Crankin.
I hope you feel much better very soon!
Blech. Feel better! This year's been terrible for riding on this end too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Crankin
Ugh Crankin. Glad you had a nice hike, anyway. Hope you feel better soon. Have you tried black elderberry yet? As often as you get sick, if it were me I'd take a little elderberry preventively every day.
Ha, Oak, I hardly get sick at all, compared to the past! My last major illness was in February. The rest is allergies. I've tried elderberry and I saw no benefit.
Murienn, I do have asthma, but it's basically a non-issue now, unless I get sick. When I lived in AZ, I was on a nebulizer every 4 hours. Since moving here, I have been pretty much symptom free, unless, I get a sinus infection or other normal cold and then sometimes, it will migrate. I have tried allergy shots at 3 different times in my life. Every time, they just give me an asthma attack... since it's not too much of an issue now, I deal with it with Claritin and Flonase, which do help. I really don't have tree/pollen allergies, just mold and a few foods. Now that I live in a house that is almost all hardwood, it's another major improvement.
I think some of the part that annoys me is it seems to take me longer to get better now. I know my immune system sucks, so I baby myself and try not to go back to activity too soon. Not easy for me. I went to boot camp this morning; it was a sub, which was a good thing. I was able to do the whole class, but I definitely had trouble with some of the weight repetitions near the end of each set. There wasn't really much cardio, except to warm up, which also was good.
I'll do a little ride tomorrow morning, if it's not raining. Yesterday, I got caught in torrential rain and tornado warnings while leaving a client's house, resulting in a mad drive back to my office in the worst conditions I have ever seen. It was only 2 miles, but I was scared to death. More predicted today, but at least I'll be closer to home.
I will give you my "how Arizona was ruined shpiel." Let's see, a whole bunch of people, mostly from the midwest, some from the east, moved there and wanted to re-create their landscaping back home. Lots of lawns and non-indigenous plants. Fake lakes. Houses built so close together, the population skyrocketed, and those people brought lots of cars. No real public transportation until recently. Put them in a valley, with air inversions and lots of dust and mold spores. I bet you get the picture!
Then, there's the whole gene pool of asthmatics who moved there in the 40s and 50s who married each other and had kids with asthma! Huge population of asthmatics.
I think the constant wind and changing temperatures are good for me. The air here is clear, with the exception of very hot and humid days a few times in the summer.
I've only been to Boulder once. Other than not being able to breathe because of the altitude, I was fine...
For an odd Arizona and asthma and allergies story: when my dad was about 6 or so, he had terrible allergies and asthma, and his doctor suggested they move out to Arizona. The whole family trucked out from Ohio to Tuscon; and this was while WWII gas rationing was still on so it was a big deal. They stayed for a couple years and then went back home. As an adult living in KY, Dad never had problems with allergies or asthma, except for one week. One spring break when me and my brother were teens we went out to Arizona, and Dad was sneezing and wheezing and miserable the whole time, worst when we were in the Tuscon area. Something was blooming out there in the desert that he hadn't experienced in decades and it didn't agree with him.
The native plants can cause trouble too, you never know what you might end up sensitive to.
The way my allergist explained it, the immune dysfunction is part of your system, the particular sensitivities are developed. So if you're prone to allergies, you may eventually become allergic to whatever you're exposed to. Moving might buy you a few years until you become sensitive to the local allergens - it's not a permanent solution. I had about six good winters in Florida before I was every bit as miserable in cedar season as I used to be in ragweed season before I started getting shots. This year I became sensitive to oak pollen for the first time, too. Oh joy.