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I see folks get hitched up right away as well... at first jealous then I see the relationships for what they are... just not for me. I know that special guy is out there for me and I'm willing to wait (or not be in a relationship at all). Like you I'm happy with my life and don't need a man to make it complete... happy... fulfilled... etc.
Just be happy, don't be desperate, take the time to savor, enjoy and live your own life.
Interesting opinions. I guess I am always shocked when younger people have ideas that seem more conservative than mine. I think I must be a rare person. I have been happily married for 26 years in a very equal relationship. There's been a lot of give and take on both sides, but what it comes down to is that despite the fact it's 2005, we all have to work very hard to not slip back into traditional roles. That, and the fact that it seems that there are very few people out there who seem emotionally stable and well, "normal." By normal, i don't mean like a nuclear family with 2.5 kids, but mentally healthy. How did we all get so screwed up? I am a litle bit younger than the first wave feminists (52), but I never questioned the fact that i would have a career and raise kids. I was married to a real loser for a short time and decided that I would never put myself in that position again when I remarried. I have always worked, took very short maternity leaves (6 wks. to 4 months) and my kids who are now grown are the most wonderful respectful and non judgemental men you could find. We worked hard for this to happen. I could have never stayed home and I knew it, but my kids were planned and wanted. Daycare didn't harm them a bit. I respect those who stay home a lot, I just knew it wasn't for me. Plus, I wanted my kids to be raised the way I was raised and when I was first married, that took both of our salaries. I know that some feel this is selfish and we should have sacrificed, but we all did well. So you single girls, keep looking. There are men who respect women and want to be equal partners.
My mum never worked. Even though dad left (never to be seen again) when I was 2 &1/2yrs mum was always around. No daycare, no outside help. Sounds idyllic? One problem: mum was mentally ill (paranoid schizophrenia). Life was not good. Funny thing is I'm one of the most normal, adjusted people I know. Took quite a few years but I got there.
Guess what I'm saying is that there is no one formula for all family units. Also, individual, internal personalities synthesize their environment in different ways. Think of multiple children in one family. All brought up the same way...all have different experiences of their family unit.
Basic fundamentals such as mutual respect, being genuine etc speak volumes no matter what situation you may find yourself in.
Amazing to me how intelligent female cyclists are ;-)
I think the tolerance to accept more than one notion of the family is important as we will never get back to 1 ideal, whether conservative or liberal. The world is just to diverse to go back. All we can do is continue to improve the situation on the basis of doing what is right. To think that we adhere to old literal notions is ridiculous to me, I believe we should always in the context of the world re-interpret what the words and ideas mean in today's world. The bible, old testament, whatever works for you, taken at literal word would be absurd to most people. Interpreting what the meaning really is and what it means to daily life is the only way it can live on and be relevant. Change is necessary.
I too know that I probably would not have wanted to stay home with kids but luckily I did choose a husband who would be perfectly suited to do so. Wasn't part of the master plan, it just worked out that way. And I think this maybe has to do with attracting the right men -- the least bit of warning sign that we don't share the right values, they're outta here. You hardly can change someone's beliefs and values, so what you see is what you'll get. So in the right state of mind, I think we do look and should seek out partners who complement rather than duplicate. Sometimes if they duplicate you, you end up with an overage on one side and underage on the other. It's not easy but possible. I was married 1x before, went back into the dating game and married again in my late 30's. So with the benefit of these experiences, I can say you are so much smarter later on...if you get married young, then the best thing is if you change together. Everyone changes, you're not the same person at 40 as you were at 20. Intelligence is a measure of how well we are able to adapt, and I think change is good. Synching it with your significant other is an added challenge, but possible.
*Sigh*, whether we realize it or not, life is always a challenge every day...getting on that bike and going up that hill can be a challenge some days ...
Really well said.
Holy cow! I have not been able to respond as some glitch disabled me for this site... THANK YOU to Jeff at TE Support for fixing it! :)
anyway, have been following along and chuckling, empathizing, shaking my head in disbelief (mtbdarby!!! good dog, that guy was nutso!!! good to hear that the renewed relationship is going well again tho!)
soooooooo glad to be back! :D
Nice to have you back, Bickerchick!:cool: