Yay, snapdragon and adminstrators who clean up the litter on the forums!
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Yay, snapdragon and adminstrators who clean up the litter on the forums!
I think Adventure Girl gets to many of them before me -- she's a stealth one... :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by administrator
Quote:
Originally Posted by snapdragen
And she never tells us about her adventures anymore. :(
Veronica
On any online community or forum, each one of us are liked more by some people and not especially liked by other people. That's just human nature. There are various members here that have a tone that sort of creeps me out whenever they post, but they have just as much right to be here as I do and I wouldn't dream of suggesting they should leave TE. And I'm sure there are those who wish I would just disappear. Oh well, in this world we can neither like everyone or be liked by everyone!
If Silver and Mr.Bloom both stopped alluding to their personal bitter divorce issues on here, and quit using TE to bait each other and take public swipes at each other knowing they were both reading, then there would be little problem. It reminds me of children of divorced parents who learn that it can be to their advantage to play the parents off each other. Divide and conquer.
Is it not possible for Mr.Bloom and Silver to focus their posts on other things in their lives for a while and about biking, and refrain from responding to each other and indirectly alluding to each other in ways intended to provoke? Why pull the entire forum into a personal battle, regardless of the sex of either party?
Maybe time for all of us to act like grownups. Personally, I feel it speaks poorly for all of us to take sides and dive so enthusiastically into the drama. It doesn't represent or do credit to this wonderful and positive online community we all love.
I know I'm a little late on this thread, but in my opinion, TE isn't great because we are women, TE is great because of the type of women we are individually.
I have belonged to many other all-women forums and none of them can come close to the civilty and commraderie that we have here. Hell, they often devolve into flame wars faster than BikeForums could ever hope to!
There are two other forums that I frequent that have a similiar vibe to TE. Both of them are very, very well moderated. I'm going to give credit both to the moderators and admins here, and to us as a community. We are an accepting lot. We don't tolerate stupidity/ego/flames...people who like those types of interactions just don't hang out here for long because we don't feed it. It does wonders for creating a comfortable space!
I love TE because of how it deals with controversy. :D
I mostly wanted to stay out of this discussion but I've been inexorably pulled in, partly because I'm waiting on someone and I have time to kill and things to procrastinate. (Speaking of killing time, a few weeks ago we had time to kill so we went looking for a watch that my daughter had asked for...)
lph, thanks for starting the thread. That was brave of you. It made me nervous but now the discussion has gone on for 6 pages without erupting all out into a flame war I feel safe enough to respond.
I like Team Estrogen because you can ask a question and get an answer without a ton of judgments. That has been my experience with other forums. I don't think that characteristic is because women are nicer people, I think it is because this forum is heavily moderated. I'm a big fan of active moderation and I am not a fan of unlimited freedom of speech...Is it heresy to freely say that? lol
I strongly dislike exclusive clubs. I would not like a women-only TE where men are excluded. (And since a male is one of our moderators that would be inappropriate.) How do any of us know that any of us are really women? For all most of you know, I could be a 60 year old 300 pound gorilla. (ha, thought I was going to say man, didn't you?) (I type pretty good for a gorilla!)
I like the self-proclaimed males with whom I've interacted on TE. I like most of the women here. I notice a few males who sign on just long enough to ask "What bike should I get for my girl?" or "Help my girlfriend with her girly-bit problems!" I'm really glad we can help them.
I would welcome my husband on TE, I would see it as something that we could share. I'm ok that he's not interested. I tell him the stories about what goes on here. :) He does find it interesting to have my perspective on a highly-moderated forum, because he runs his own forum (heavily moderated) and has experience on lightly-moderated forums.
Even in paradisiacal TE, not everyone is going to like everyone or agree with each other, and how boring would that be if we did. People will post things that offend others. People will take offense at posts. In fact I have been offended at a post here and there, and a person here & there has been offended by something I said. My experience on TE has been largely safe and supportive, and those moments of discomfort few and mild.
Some of us seem to remember events differently, that is apparent. That happens to me sometimes. My husband & daughter have this memory which I can't seem to shake: they believe that I tried to get rid of the (old & broken) couch when we moved last year. I sort of see where they came up with that idea, and I've tried to explain that I had genuinely believed that neither of them cared about the old couch, and as soon as I realized that they were attached to it I dropped the idea of replacing it. Yet no matter how many times I try to correct their version of this history, they still remember it that way, and are suspicious that I might make more attempts on their treasured memories! Well, all I can do is try to live an upright life and they'll either change that belief about me, or not, and if it's the worst inaccuracy that is believed about me to my dying day, I've probably gotten off light!
I don't see where either silver or Mr. B have done a lot of talking about their split. silver mentioned it in her return thread, Mr B responded by saying something along the lines of remaining civil. I would assume the best thing would be for both of them to put each other on ignore.Quote:
Originally Posted by BleeckerSt_Girl
I am glad to see this thread has not degenerated into an ugly mess, it well could have.
You aren't a camel????Quote:
Originally Posted by Melalvai
:eek:
Hmmmmmm ///looks with slant eyes/// do we allow camels on TE?Quote:
Originally Posted by maillotpois
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Originally Posted by snapdragen
Only if they are properly attired:
http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j3...rsl/camels.jpg
photo credit: http://acolorfullife.wordpress.com/2...lorful-camels/
Oooh...can we buy those in the TE store!!!!!!??????Quote:
Originally Posted by administrator
I think that would give me saddle sores... :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by snapdragen
It doesn't really look like a wicking material.
And really - don't they have a style a little more flattering?? Pompoms have never done anything for me.
I just noticed - little piece of trivia coming up. The closest camel, the one slobbering profusely all over the place, is, according to our camel guide in Jordan this winter, "looking for the ladies!"
LPH, thank you for starting this thread, as usual, I am a bit late to the party.
I like the TE forum because I can ask a question and get a variety of good answers. The interactions are mostly professional and very helpful, it is a supportive community. It seems like most of the posters here are self confident women who can get along in the world pretty good. No matter what the level of confidence is we often have areas of significant weakness and it is in those areas that our online sisters help us out the most.
I feel safe here, not because it's mostly all women but because no question is too dumb and all questions get respectfuly treated. I'm a straight single woman and in real life I have about an equal mix of men and women friends. Each perspective fills a different role or need. I live in a male dominated profession and hold my own just fine.
In my experience most women will be harder on women than men will and that's what I really like most about this forum, you are all very supportive but we know what females can accomplish so we hold our feet to the fire and expect the best we can offer. That's real sisterhood, to me anyway. I couldn't let this thread go by without throwing in my own 2 cents.
Nice! I really like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bike Writer
Definitely high-viz! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by snapdragen
Those are some of those 'French saddles'. lol!Quote:
Originally Posted by zoom-zoom
Hmmm, he might have better luck if he weren't dressed like the ladies!Quote:
Originally Posted by lph
I'm here because I have learned SO MUCH from all of you, at all levels of riding - meaning even things that may not apply to me, I can understand and share with someone I am riding with IRL who has some of those issues.
It's a very supportive forum - we honestly help each other and it's a great group of strong, independent, educated women who post here. I would never post in a male-dominated forum, as someone else said earlier, I get enough of the patronizing all-knowing tone from men on rides (thankfully the biggest offender in our group has moved away).
I joined this forum when I first started cycling a few years ago. I rode mostly alone, or with a group of much older men. They were nice but it was good to be able to read more about cycling stuff from a woman's perspective. I don't have much mechanical interest. Just interest in cycling, as a leisure activity.
The women here are very interesting, many have interests outside of cycling that they also share on this forum. They have experiences I would not be able to experience, and they also have the wisdom of years. It has opened my eyes as a younger person as to how multifaceted a woman's life should be and how it should not be just about family or work.
I don't ride often now because of the kind of work hours I keep, the variety o interests I have and the nature of my social life (non-cycling friends, lots of socialising now that I've been single again this year, living in a cosmopolitian city, lots of partying every weekend.. oops... Plus a variety of various physical ailments that keeps me on and off the bike. most recently i strained my back) I still hope for more frequent riding though. :)
I still visit this forum alot because I enjoy reading what all of you have been up to, and all the other stuff. This is I think the only forum that I visit regularly. Alot of other forums have too much 'airheadedness' where the whole thread is one line questions and few people have answers for anything (this is very general in terms of just looking through threads) so there isnt much to learn about or read :p
So yup, I enjoy this forum because I've learnt many things from on here over the years, and I find the women on this forum very accomplished and interesting role models :)
TE folks are very generous in sharing their knowledge, support, and kindness.
I consider some folks here friends, even though I've never met them. I've gotten to know them, over the years (or at least have found their online personalities & character compatible with mine). There are people whom I find annoying but I'm sure that there are a lot of TE'ers who don't dig me. As long as there is mutual respect that we can agree to disagree, it's more than acceptable to me.
The diverse backgrounds, opinions and perspectives are interesting and I must admit, make me consider things that I might not have otherwise. It's made me more tolerant and understanding. And I miss some of the folks who've disappeared (Corsair Mac, Nanci, etc).
This is also a place where I can find people who are demographically similar to me: married, child-free by choice, athlete, reader, and dog mama!
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Originally Posted by Selkie
This! You ladies understand these parts of my life too, not just the athletic parts, and that means a lot to me.
Add me to that list (well, I'm a cat mama, but still....). While I'm fortunate that I have friends IRL who share that same demographic, I still feel like a bit of an odd ball because I don't have kids and, for a long time, was still single. So, it's nice to have a forum where children and romantic relationships are not the focus. Not that I have anything against kids, women with kids, or relationships; it's just not something I want to talk about all the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky
I found TE in 2005 when I got my first road bike and needed to begin looking for cycling clothes. I was amazed at the selection and variety and bragged to my cycling friends of where to go for the best selection of womens cycling apparal.
Then I ventured to the forum and learned so much. My dh is in the bicycle business but I learned so much about what women need and want from the cycling industry and often relay the info to him. I found this forum to offer a wealth of info and I am always passing on to others who now also found this a great place to shop.
~ JoAnn
I have just realized another thing that keeps me here. You are all so inspiring! I can't wait to see what you're all up to, from long rides to short commutes, you always tell a good story. It's very motivating.
This :) I am the only single/divorced person my age I know who doesn't have kids. I would love to be a cat mama but allergies are too bad these days, therefore I am a bike-mama instead ;) It is wonderful to be on a forum where relationships aren't the main focus.Quote:
Originally Posted by indysteel
I also would like go say that I really appreciate the level of literacy here and communication. Even in those times come when things get a little...warm, the flames do not get nearly as bad as other forums I've been on over the years. I think at least part of this is a result of our efforts over the years to get to know each other in person at every chance - which is another thing I like very much about TE.
Oh my goodness - this is so me - divorced/single with no kids. I would have a cat but my landlord doesn't allow it. I couldn't agree more!Quote:
Originally Posted by Catrin
You know, I think this is also the reason I stayed with TE. I can't stand the constant blathering about kids that most women do and I have two kids! This was a serious problem for me when my children were small and it earned me the reputation of being "cold" in the eyes of neighbors and parents of my kids' friends (not my own friends). My older son castigated me for grading papers at his Little League games when he was 11 or 12, so I know the perception was probably true. I didn't want to engage in the kid boasting and teacher bashing that went on at such venues. And I must say, it continues... now the boasting centers on who is married, engaged, having kids, or in grad school/professional school.
A sort of related story. As my DH dropped me off in front of the arena for graduation and I was walking in with a colleague, I heard someone call my name. It was the mother of one of my younger son's HS friends, standing there with her daughter. The daughter was actually in another program in my department, something that made me feel very old! Anyway, she asked me who was graduating (duh, I was carrying my cap and gown) and I am sure she fully expected me to say the name of one of my kids. When I said it was me and that (jokingly) I felt the need to get another master's degree and change careers at age 57, she looked incredulous. Like I would have any other interests or desires at this age. This is a woman I've known tangentially for years and I could tell she just didn't get it.
And that is what I love about TE. You get it.
That's because we can always ask "is it hot in here or is it just me?"Quote:
Originally Posted by Catrin
Also we do flame but articulately and well :) Who was it who said ... I think it was W. Churchill "Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip." :D
I <3 TE, long live TE :cool:
Crankin, you're onto something very important about the atmosphere at TE.Quote:
Originally Posted by Crankin
It's not that we don't love our kids (I have two wonderful sons) but that we are actively trying to improve ourselves and not HIDING behind our kids to ignore our own lives. We all know women like that. Their own souls are obfuscated (OH I ALWAYS WANTED TO USE THAT WORD) by their kids. If you completely focus on your children, you can ignore the holes in your lives. Some women are like that with their partners too. If I natter on and on about my partner, I can ignore the fact that I am falling apart...
Here on TE we're all actively trying to improve our lives, what by riding bikes or running, eating better, setting a good example, pursuing education, reading good novels.... THAT is the cool thing about this community.
It all started with a pair of cycling shorts. :)
I came across TE when I was searching for a cycling short and found that TE offered the best selection of quality gear for ladies at an attractive price point. When I had a question about a product it was so nice to be able to talk to Susan personally to ask her opinion about a product and more often than not she would make a recommendation for something that was even more appropriate for my body type and distance riding. I cannot express enough my appreciation for that kind of customer service. TE continues to lead the industry in that respect.
When I joined the forum, I found it to have a very civil tone as set forth by the moderators and it continues to be so to this day. It is refreshing to be able to come here to express our opinions, which are generally well received in a safe and supportive environment. I appreciate the different perspectives from various cultures as it has prompted me to do some soul searching on several occasions. I continue to be amazed at how we can connect with others on an emotional level through a portal.
I do wish Susan and her company continued success and may we enjoy the benefit of their labors.
You've touched on another big reason that I like TE. IRL, I'm surrounded by woman who treat growing older like an affliction. They're not physically active, they often have a host of health issues, they don't aspire to do anything particularly new or dynamic with their lives or careers, etc., etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Crankin
The women on TE, however, offer far more exciting and positive examples of what we can accomplish and do as we age. Yes, we usually admit that our bodies and minds are changing with age, but it's rare that I hear anyone here really let that stop them. I realize that at age 41, I'm hardly "old," but I do spend a fair amount of time thinking about what the next 30 or more years of my life are going to look like, especially since I have a younger husband that I'd very much like to keep up with. I want to be active and fully engaged in life year after year. You ladies really inspire me to do that and to think big.
I'm going to be 60 this year, that IS old. But I'm going to fight it every single step of the way.
And TE is one of the ways.
Really?Quote:
Originally Posted by Biciclista
If I think about the age of your kids, it makes sense. But with the rides you do and your zest for life, I'd have guessed early 50s!
60 as a number sounds old, but the reality doesn't have to be. I think I like "experienced" better than old. :D
Veronica
Naw. When I was 15, 60 was old. Now that I'm 51, 60 is young. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Biciclista
I do enjoy the range of ages we have here.
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Originally Posted by Biciclista
I like this observation! As one of the few working moms in my daughter's class I feel a bit out of it all - don't even bring up the double centuries and the 600k brevet. It's weird enough that I run my own business and work all over the Bay Area up to 10 hour days. And I love my kid (and my husband). But I have a life, too, and I'm always working on making it better/more interesting.
And I agree with V on the 60 thing. :)
60 can't be old - heck I'm almost there myself! I'll go out on a limb and say that for the women of this forum 60 is the new 40. There are examples all around here of women doing things in their 50's and 60's that people stopped engaging in during their 40's in years past. Our stories are so inspirational to one another and a big contributing factor for what keeps people around here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biciclista
There are differences. We have different bodies, even if some of us are boyish in build. We experience things guys don't (like monthlies, and menapause) and we have some concerns that frankly only a small percentage of guys are concerned with.