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I also drive a 2003 Honda Element. I have both rear seats removed and have framed out (with plywood) separate areas for my road bike with both wheels attached, several Rubbermaid containers with my work equipment, and a 30" by 40" dog bed (the dogs go to work with me every night). I've still got room back there for my Mountainsmith bike cube and some extras like an ice chest and tote with extra clothing. The look of the car did take some getting used to-- it grows on you. I have gotten gas mileage as high as 30 mpg but my average is around 24 mpg.
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How about a RAV4?
I just bought a RAV4 and one of the requirements for this new car was ease of putting in my bike. I have no problems and I am quite short. I just lift her up & in she goes and out she comes, easy as pie, with only the one back seat laid flat- the other seat has my son's booster in it. I was taking the booster out but found I didn't need to, so it's in and out, no problems. I too looked at the Highlander but due to cost considerations and not the best gas mileage, even with the hybrid, I went for the RAV4. I am very happy with it. It's worth a look at.