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I don't know why you consider it weird. DH and I have been together since 1994 and we're married in everyone's eyes except the State's.
Now, our anniversary is weird. We celebrate it on the weekend of the race where we first met face to face. Which isn't necessarily on the same date every year. :cool:
Which is my sentiment exactly. We might at some point get married, but if living together for 20 years, having a kid for 15 of them and owning our now third home together hasn't proved we're a couple, a paper and some vows aren't going to change anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by OakLeaf
I should add - this is very common here, so not marrying wouldn't be considered weird unless you're extremely conservative.
I like your anniversary, Oak :)
The main reason Brewer and I got married was that at the time we were looking for a new school for DD who was 10 and every time I introduced him, I thought of Cloris Leachman in Young Frankenstein proclaiming "He vas my BOYFRIEND!"
In the midst of this, my brothers were planning a baseball game rendezvous in San Francisco, and I was mad because I couldn't find cheap flights, so I floated the idea (or proposed?) that we drive and stop in Reno to get married.
(Do I need to add that we live in possibly the most conservative state in the US?)
Well, Oak I know of no one else face to face who have been together and in love with their partner for over 20 yrs. but not married on paper. I just know face to face, couples who live together for several years and then get married.Quote:
I don't know why you consider it weird. DH and I have been together since 1994 and we're married in everyone's eyes except the State's.
So it's nice to know some ladies here who have a long, long faithful union ...who are like myself and dearie, that have outlived some marriages. (His former marriage was 19 yrs. long.)
My sister moved in with her boyfriend in 2004 and my aunts decided that a) they finally believe her when she says she's never getting married and b) they want to throw a 'wedding' shower for her anyway. So they threw her a Shacking Up Shower. It was hilarious.
At the party she made a little speech to explain why they wouldn't get married: "We don't need the permission of a government we don't support or the blessings of a church we don't believe in to be in love." And they don't have kids. Kids is actually the only reason I got married, we both wanted kids and thought it might be difficult for them if we didn't have paperwork, so we got married. Plus I think he wanted the ceremony. Of course, you could have the ceremony without the paperwork.
(Sister's BF was invited to the Shacking Up Shower too but couldn't make it. The family's a bit dispersed and it was part of the Christmas get together that year, so scheduling wasn't an option. And possibly he could have made it by rearranging his plans slightly but chose not to. He wouldn't have enjoyed the attention.)
Wow, this thread has evolved!
I guess I am pretty traditional, in the sense that I wanted to get married. I wasn't sure if I wanted kids, but that didn't play any part in my feelings about marriage. At the time I got married, it was still considered slightly immoral for a single teacher to be pregnant, and I remember a few cases of people being outright fired or being put on administrative leave. Not good.
I have no problem with having a "piece of paper," but on the other hand, I could care less if other people don't have one.
We work at the same university and I got a text that said "My 1pm meeting just got cancelled, want to go to the courthouse?" My schedule was clear so we did.