Agreed.
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Some people choose to spend their money on big, nice homes. Others on fancy cars. Others on fancy bikes. We personally spend a ton of money on groceries because I'm picky about what I eat and we can afford it. What's the difference?
While I agree that huge houses are often a waste of money, I also agree that this thread got more than just a tad judgemental. Who are we to judge what other people choose to spend their money on? Didn't Limewave say her friends desgined their house? That means to me that a lot of thought went into it. If they love it, good for them.
Personally, if I had a LOT of money (we are talking millions here), I'd design my own tiny house on a HUGE piece of property with spectacular views and a nice long driveway so that no road noise could be heard from the house. And I'd buy only the very best for what goes IN the house because I'm tired of junk that doesn't last as long as it should (like appliances and furniture). But that's just me. ;)
As one of the people who got overly judgmental in this thread, I again want to apologize. I have friends with money who have bought nice houses with it and I haven't batted an eye. I have others that did the same thing that I have very good reason to believe were self-medicating in the same way that an addict might. Where my best friend is concerned, I have good reason to think it was the latter. So, yes, I have an opinion about it that goes beyond some knee jerk reaction to blatant consumerism. Do I think also think her 7000 square foot home for two is excessive. Yes, I do. Do I think a 3500 square foot home is? Not really. Is there a bright line about such things? No, but that doesn't mean it's a conversation not worth having. And I don't think it's wrong to encourage one another or others to consider other things other than their own needs or desires. We do that all the time with any number of environmental and social issues.
While I'd like to wholeheartedly agreed that how people spend their money is none of my concern, the reality is that sometimes it is. There are environmental concerns. There are economic concerns. There is a societal cost to more and bigger stuff. We don't make these very personal decisions in a vacuum.
while we're designing houses I want one on a hill with lots of windows and an attic bedroom with dormers. Two small bathrooms would be nice but I don't care how big my laundry room is. I discovered that big bedrooms were a big waste of space. Make the big rooms be the living room and kitchen.
It's wierd feeling that I have a place with 2 balconies...one off kitchen and other off bedroom.
And I still haven't gotten around to getting proper outdoor furniture to hang out in either. I can't afford it ..
Will get something simple for at least 1 of them maybe next year. I just ended up getting a place with happened to have 2 balconies, an extra but more important it is close to cycling routes, services, etc.
I have heard of stories where some people won a gorgeous huge new home in a lottery. But they couldn't afford to maintain because of high property tax, etc.
My desire for a smaller place is just pertaining to my personal preference and....laziness to look after more rooms, etc.
I just have an issue with beautiful old houses that are demolished to make room for mcmansions. A lot of people are raised to think that "new" means "maintenance-free" - and while maintenance on an old home can get tricky and downright expensive, the home I grew up in was fairly new when we bought it and had just as many issues b/c of poor construction and material quality. Not to mention all of the useless construction waste that fills up landfills on a regular basis because of the demolition of perfectly useful buildings. We certainly live in a disposable society. Though at least we don't have the political obsessions China has with demolishing EVERYTHING old to rebuild it again as new.
My brother lives in an area about an hour NW of Chicago where miles and miles and miles of farmland now grow miles and miles and miles of look-alike mc mansions that were erected in a breathtakingly short span of time. His house was done in about 3 months from start to finish...and has had problem after problem. Now about a quarter of the houses in his 'hood are for sale...many in foreclosure (here is a BIG problem I have with a lot of these places, since they exist as a result of folks who felt the need to buy/build the biggest home they could, whether or not they could afford it. We can't just blame the banks for the bailout disaster, which we are ALL still paying for. It took two to tango with that mess). His is for sale because he wanted to live closer to the city with his girlfriend. He's SO not a suburbanite kind of guy. But he can't sell his home. So now he pays rent and a mortgage.
I'd note that there has been some movement in certain communities to regulate and limit home size. Consider this article on the "swelling McMansion backlash." Honesty, as judgmental as you may think it is, I'm not alone in my concern over rising home sizes. Nor am I alone in thinking that our seemingly personal decisions about how and where to live do impact our communities as a whole. From an NPR story on the average size of American homes, I found this quote from a Cornell professor of management and economics to be point: "We know there are all sorts of situations where individual choices that are perfectly rational add up to a total outcome that none of us likes very much. [Large homes] is one of those."
This scenario really gets me. This house wasn't enough:
Main house: 12,000 square feet
Number of bedrooms: 5
Bathrooms: 8 1/2
Garage: 3-car
Guest house: 1,100 square feet
Value: $4.5 million
So it was demolished for this:
Main house: 22,000 square feet
Number of bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 5 full and 5 half-baths
Garage: 3 buildings
Guest house: 6,000 square feet
Value: Still being assessed; building permits over $3 million (total finished value was guesstimated to be ~$10 mil.)
Seriously? A 22 thousand square foot home with only 3 bedrooms and a guest home almost 3x larger than the average American home.
No one can ever tell me that this isn't purely for show. And the sad part is that the house they razed was really kind of cool looking. It was low and subtle and blended into the property. The new place is a monstrosity whether viewed from the street or from the lake. Gargantuan and gaudy.
Indy, of course you're not alone. I share those concerns too. I think a lot of people do. What I say below is NOT in response to your particular comments at all.
Most people on this forum live much more comfortably than most of the world does. Even if your houses are small and you only have one bathroom. I'm not a big fan of putting small groups of "other" people down for being wealthy, in that context.
One poster suggested home baked goods. This gets my vote for a housewarming gift, provided you enjoy baking and want to do that. If baking is not your thing then perhaps specialty coffee or teas. Everyone likes treats and even if the homeowners don't particularly care for coffee or tea they could serve them for guests.
Your original post suggested a very natural human response and that is comparison. We all do that about things whether it is cars, bikes, kids or homes and in the presence of largess it's not that hard to feel dwarfed. I loved your response to that feeling in that you went home and began scrubbing your floors. That might be something I would do too.
You saw something enormous and overwhelming and were in awe of it and in the process you peered into a lifestyle that is very different from that of most people. Your post did not indicate a hint of envy or scorn for that lifestyle, just a realization that it is very different from your own and that is very natural.
I was born into modest living, in some of my years I throughly enjoyed bigger and better and lots of "toys". I'm a bit older now and my tastes have changed and things I value have changed also.
To each his own, live and let live are comfortable words to live by.
We have our own super-monster house in my neighborhood. There are a few mini-monsters, I hate 'em, but they're not mine, so I ignore them. But this one....gawd, talk about your sore thumbs.. Almost 6,000 sq ft, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 baths. Most homes here are about 2500 sq ft. ranch style homes.
The first owners lost it to forclosure, I think it's already on it's third set of owners.
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h1...s/monster2.jpg
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h1...ds/monster.jpg