Just let her be a frikkin princess already. You don't have to buy all the stuff, but don't give her grief for liking princesses!
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Just let her be a frikkin princess already. You don't have to buy all the stuff, but don't give her grief for liking princesses!
Quote:
Originally Posted by tulip
Methinks my brother-in-law, the princess-phobic guy, doesn't quite yet understand little girls. His jobs never involved working with children and nor does he have any sisters. Worry-wart: kid is only 18 months old. :rolleyes:
His wife (my sister) is a physician --she will gently steer daughter to value...inner qualities of self/people more. I'm sure of it.
7- yr. Niece-daughter of a different sister: she just finished warm season of soccer and will be starting hockey for lst time this fall. Also enrolled in gymnastics. Enough distractions from Barbiedom and princess stuff but she occasionally wears pink/purple, etc. It appears to me, she's outgrown her dolls since I didn't see her dragging out any or see any evidence.
24-yr. old niece-daughter of yet another sister, is a geotechnical engineer with a great career right now. Yea as a kid, she did the nail polish pretend stuff, some pink clothing (but not everything), etc. She went to a family wedding this summer, as a guest, dressed in khaki pants and casual jacket. OK. Girliedom is so distant right now to her. She didn't seem to wear any makeup at this dressy function. :):) (Yay!!!! She gets the message right about empowerment.)
:):)Quote:
Originally Posted by tulip
I have to chime in here. I grew up in a house of 3 girls, 1 younger brother. Raised 2 girls (19 and 25), now raising a 7 year old girl.
My 19 year old pointed out that why do we have easy bake ovens for girls and not for boys, good point kiddo!
Disney is out there, the mass media of it all. They send you stuff to your home, they own various TV stations, etc. They have an obsession with stories of young innocent princess girls, no moms, kinda dumb dads, marrying some prince guy. Not real life.
There are princess parties, everywhere too. People make a big deal out of 8th grade graduation, like it is wedding! And let's forget the prom's, or what about that TV show about super rich spoiled girls having sweet 16 parties.
I believe that as a parent you can and should supervise what your child, boy or girl is exposed to. Saying that I realize you can not control everything but must with firm and loving guidance provide them with an environment that shows them ALL aspects of life and it's opportunities.
My two cents over and out.
Get a copy of The Paper Bag Princess for those princessy girls (and boys)!
My little brother is still crushed that my Dad wouldn't let him have a My Buddy doll when he was young. Mom bought him one for his birthday like he wanted, but Dad made her return it.
He did at least get to have a pound puppy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malkin
Gave that bk. to niece when she was little long ago (the engineer). I only bought the book in the tiny wallet size version. Thought the title was cute. I didn't even look/vet the story's content. Careless aunt (I'm also a librarian, but not a children's librarian.)
So ....several decades later discovered the storyline:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paper_Bag_Princess
My salute to all parents who try hard to raise their children well.
One of my favorite books when I was a kid. My mom read it to me all the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by malkin
I love that book.
The marine's My Buddy is still lying on top of his bed in my house. Both of my boys had dolls, including the anatomically correct one we got for the older one, so he could have a baby when I had a baby. I had to drive 20 miles, to FAO Shwartz, on a 112 degree day to buy that doll!
I have to agree with OakLeaf. My parents tried to shelter me a LOT when I was a child. We didn't get to watch TV, we didn't have a lot of toys (although, I did have a few Barbies....along with marbles and Transformers), and we played outside a lot. However, as much as my parents meant it for my own good, it made relating to my peers very difficult.Quote:
Originally Posted by OakLeaf
My current philosophy is "everything in moderation." That's how we plan on raising our daughter.
I just bought it for my sister's daughter - who's totally in a disney princess phase and has been for a couple of years.Quote:
Originally Posted by limewave
I think that's a good philosophy! Even the "really good" things are a problem in excess.Quote:
Originally Posted by nj_likes
late to the party.
I was forbidden Barbies and all that good stuff. The only good thing about the way my uber lefty parents raised me is that my brother was able to get CO status for the Vietman war because of thier anti war toy position.
Here's how I handled stuff with my boys. Yes, boys but there are still issues. I explained in terms they could understand WHY we didn't do certain things or allow certain toys at our house.
Example: we didn't buy/permit much Disney stuff. The reasons we ( both of us as parents ) gave 1. Disney repackaged someone else's stories - you explain this correctly and you can have great library adventures finding Milne, Hans Christen Anderson etc and 2. guys sitting around trying to figure out how many products they can market to parents and or kids. Kids GET this stuff.
Same thing with cartoon advertising and toys. If you explain it in kid terms, they easily grasp the concept that someone is just trying to make a buck off of cartoon tagged toothbrushes, underpants and other stuff. But you have to start early.
We did the math on Happy Meals, just how much you were paying for that crappy little toy.
My boy's hearts were broken when Lego sold out and started branding thier blocks with Pizza Hut and a few other things.
I think it's important to encourage imagination through dressups and fantasy play.. so instead of forbidding princess play, if I had daughters I'd find ways to make it creative and imaginative, and not just be reenactment of the latest Disney cartoon. I would spend a lot of time explaining WHY, in terms they could grasp, certain roles might be positive or negative, instead of just not allowing it. And then present the kind of imagination fodder that would be acceptable.
It's eerie now that my boys are pretty much grown, to see how the indoctrination I did about Disney TV cartoon toys and marketing has stayed with them into adult hood, and manifested into some fairly cool social responsibility.
I think with kids you get what you get and there's not a lot you can do to change that. Lots of stories of kids who seek out the things they want/are interested in even when their parents disapprove attest to that.
My DD is definitely NOT the daughter I imagined. While the whole Princess Lifestyle (tm) makes me ill, I loved traditional girl toys growing up--dolls and tea parties and pretend games (I also loved basketball and camping and seeing what I could mix up with my chemistry set, though). So with my DD I was looking forward to getting her baby dolls and playing dress up and having slumber parties with her friends.
Not happening. When someone gave her a Barbie doll, she undressed it, said "look, mommy, a doll with boobies" and then held it by the head and used it's sharp pointy feet as a sword. Then it went into a box and she never touched it again. She DOES play with the play food, but only to feed all of her stuffed animals. She's all about animals and really nothing else--and that's a completely foreign concept to me. I think I had two stuffed animals growing up and they just kinda sat around.
There's no point in trying to change her--she is who she is and likes what she likes, and I love her no matter what she likes. So the American Girl doll was a waste of $100 (it just kinda sits around). The Disney Princess she really likes is the kick-*** Mulan, but overall with Disney movies she'd rather watch Lady and the Tramp and Lion King. I don't think I've ever disapproved of anything she likes, but I have to admit to a few years of confusion as her personality and tastes emerged and I wondered where the heck this was coming from!
Sarah
This is so true. DD (almost 4yo) keeps getting extravagant dolls from one aunt in particular. DD doesn't play with dolls. She has no interest in them. The in-laws ask me what she wants for presents and I always say: soccer or swim lessons, a camelbak (she keeps asking for one), flashcards . . . Then they look at me quizzically and say "I want to get her something SHE can use."Quote:
Originally Posted by sfa
Didn't I just tell them?
But they continue to buy her dolls that sit at the bottom of her toy box. She likes to play sports. She likes to play "School" with her baby brother. I never see her playing with "toys" of any kind.