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Dear god of weather
Just because everyone else is complaining about their weather doesn't mean we don't want to keep the nice weather you sent our way yesterday and now today was even better. It is starting to seem like WE could actually have weather that is not wet/cold/rainy/dark.. Is that possible?
Thanks
+1!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by mimitabby
+ another 1.Quote:
Originally Posted by mimitabby
I'm with them...especially because I should be able to pick up my new bike tomorrow or Friday...Quote:
Originally Posted by Wahine+ another 1.Quote:
Originally Posted by mimitabby
Quote:
Originally Posted by silver
I'm with you, Silver! We will hunt him down and taunt him until he retreats.....his father was a hamster and his mother smelled of elderberries....oh wait...that's another taunt....his father was a mud puddle and his mother was....help me here! :D
We have a 50% chance of SNOW tomorrow night - it's APRIL for cryin' out loud!!!! ENOUGH!!!
Dear weather god
I wave my biking shorts at your aunties!
Now go away before I taunt you for a second time!
....
*squeak, squeak, squeak...*
FRENCH GUARDS: [whispering]
C'est un vélo, vélo de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here...
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]
[clllank]
ARTHUR:
What happens now?
BEDEVERE:
Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the bike, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
ARTHUR:
Who leaps out?
BEDEVERE:
U-- u-- uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the bike, uh, and uh...
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
BEDEVERE:
Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger--
Dear people who print the Voler catalog,
You must knwo I like thier stuff, but did you have to send me 5 copies of the catalog? I looked, all same name and address. You have heard merging dupilcates, have you not? For a slight additional fee, I can even show how to do this...
:D :D :D I love it!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsune06
'Summer changed back into Winter...'
NARRATOR:
And so, Silver and IFJane and Kitsune06 set out on their search to find the weather man of whom silver had spoken in post twenty-four. Beyond the forest, they met Lisa S. H. and Mr. silver, and there was much rejoicing.
KNIGHTS:
Yay! Yay!
[woosh]
NARRATOR:
In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Kitsusne06's minstrels.
MINSTREL: [high-pitched]
Get back! Eee!
NARRATOR:
And there was much rejoicing.
KNIGHTS:
Yay!
NARRATOR:
A year passed.
CARTOON CHARACTER:
[shivering]
NARRATOR:
Winter changed into Spring.
CARTOON CHARACTER:
Mmm, nice.
NARRATOR:
Spring changed into Summer.
CARTOON CHARACTER:
Oh. Ahh.
NARRATOR:
Summer changed back into Winter,...
CARTOON CHARACTER:
Oh?
NARRATOR:
...and Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn.
CARTOON CHARACTER:
Aah.
[snap]
Oh! Waa!
NARRATOR:
Until one day...
.... (out of order, because I'm a bleedin' sod who can't keep things straight... ) :rolleyes:
Snapdragen:
And Saint Armstrong raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.'
And Lance did grin, and the people did feast upon the Clifbloks and sportbeans and lunabars and gatorade and protein and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
Chickwhorips:
Skip a bit, Sister.
Snapdragen:
And Lance spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Velo towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
Xrayted:
Amen.
Everyone:
Amen.
Kitsune06:
Right!
One!... Two!... Five!
Xrayted:
Three, hon!
Kitsune06:
Three!
[angels sing]
[boom]
Thank you for the laughs, dear. ;) :D
There are some who call me ... TIM!
I was looking at cell phone ring tones and actually saw one for the Brave Sir Robin song.
Every time we see a rabbit, no matter where we are (and who's around) we start the "where death awaits with sharp pointy little teeth..." complete with hand gestures.
Ok, my work day just got better :D
Dear Lost property goddess,
If you see my mtn bike mojo, can you please send it back.:(
I am out on the trails, struggling uphill through the pea gravel etc..but just not at the level I wanna beeeeee.
I know I have the mojo somewhere.
Lost in the Perth Pea gravel
c
Dear Willpower,
Now that the holiday season has ended (Halloween to Easter) we would love to personally welcome you back to the fold. We must say we have enjoyed the rebellious freedom while you were gone, but we have indeed missed you. Welcome back
Love,
Hips, Bum and Belly
Dear Professional Piercers,
The new "dry" aftercare protocol really isn't very sexy. My newest piercing didn't like it much, and I've returned to the saltwater soaks of yore.
Sweet Relief!
Dear Mr. Bill,
Will you please, please, PLEASE shut up. I am running out of niceness.
Dear paranoid narcissist coworker,
You have been obssessed with me for 2 years. Get some therapy and get over it.
And don't ever call me at home in an alcoholic frenzy again.
Dear weatherman -
Six inches of snow? Are you kidding me? I took off the whole week for Easter vacation, and the only riding I'm doing is on the trainer!!!! Get it together up there.
Tired of Winter in Wisconsin
dear former SO,
please stop being mean. i have not said a mean word to you. last night the message with "i hope your feet heal crooked so you cant run, even though your pathetic and never could run" line really hurt. who says that? i may not be as fast of a runner as you who has ran all of your life, but i go out and do it and enjoy it! you were the one that taught me that i could run. i guess when i said you made me a better person by getting me into running and cycling, you actually listened. i just don't get why you are being so mean.
i now feel like i'm a better person for not having you in my life for saying such mean things to me. i just don't get it..... or you.
your former SO
Quote:
Originally Posted by teigyr
I laugh at your mustache, I spit in your general direction
Many of you graciously sent Christmas/Holiday cards to a unti in Iraq when I requested them last fall.
I just wanted to stomp my feet and curse a bit and ask for prayers and good wishes -- they have just been notified that their tours have been extended three more months (along with most everyone else over there, according to the news).
May all our soldiers come home safe.
Hmm, I put this in an ongoing thread instead of starting a new one.
Okay, I'll just amend it.
Dear ______________ in Chief.
Please. Let them come home now?
Thank you.
Pooks
(You may fill in the blank silently as you wish. In order not to offend, I decided to leave it blank, because believe me, the word I'd put there would offend.)
Dear Fate-
Thanks for providing me with the girly version of cajones, or at least letting me borrow them for a bit. I don't miss working on construction sites, open-pit mines, or highways. At all. My hair is looking much better these days now that I don't wear a hard hat. Alas, I don't sleep nearly as much anymore, but I'm sure my lab partners appreciate my hard-earned understanding of organic molecules and stoichiometry. Also, the demise of my 50-mile-round-trip commute is doing wonders for my personality, and is convieniently timed to avoid the annual mass mark-up of gasoline. I also thank you (actually the credit goes to Knotted:) ) for a new opportunity to do some volunteer work in my new potential field. For once, I'm not so freaked out about my future. What comes will come.
However, now I must move on to some points of contention. Will you mind knocking some sense into my dear friend? After knowing each other half our lives, he's decided to throw a temper tantrum because I do not want to date him. Never mind that I've had the same boyfriend for the past two-plus years, never mind that we've had this conversation before- it's been over three months since dear friend will answer email or pick up the phone, and I'm pissed. I feel rather blindsided by the sudden declaration of apparent everlasting love, and even more so by the just-as-sudden declaration of apparent everlasting hate. I feel this is indicative of exactly why I do not want to date said friend, as I really don't go for this kind of behavior. Can you at least inform my friend that he should at least talk to me in person about this so we can resolve something? (perhaps you could lend him some of those cajones).
Thanks. Much appreciated. Now, where's spring? You teased us with 70 degrees last week- let's do it again!
Dear Weather Magicians
cute trick I don' t know how sunny, partly sunny, and slightly cloudy can turn into THIS nasty stuff. Now I have to ride in it. Could you just keep the faucets turned off until nightfall? Thank you.
PS you're doing a great job of convincing the flat earth contingent that global warming is a wacky left wing notion!
sincerely
have rain coat and rain pants just in case anyway
ps chickwhorips you SOOOO do not deserve that AH! every time he spews is more
proof that you need to stay far far far away from him.
CWR - thank god you are away from that idiot and on your own finally. He's just p*ssed off because you are making it without him just fine and are happier now. Sour grapes. We all know you are a wonderful person and deserve every happiness coming to you these days. Ignore XPITA and keep smiling little sister.
Love ya lots.
~mick
Dear Desperate patients
When you call me at the last moment because you are sooo desperate and in sooo much pain and I promise to stay late/come in early/have no life so you can enjoy yours ...COULD YOU AT LEAST SHOW UP?- and please don't call when you remember the appointment the next day and ask again for another appointment- please use the drama on someone else- if you were that desperate you would have shown up for the first appointment.
(((((((((((PIKA)))))))))))))
I hear ya sister!! That is soooooooo rude and unfortunately, not uncommon.
ditto!!!!
Dear Mary,
Just open the Fr^%kin' project!! Why? Because I asked you to! Do not question why I need this to get my work done. Do not send me three emails, then copy your boss - just open it:mad: . Is that too much to ask? Do you NOT have a clue with the fact that the rest of my department has quit that I'm at my wits end? I am one bad day away from walking out the door and not coming back and I don't need crap from you or anyone else that is so good about weaseling out of their work and having everyone else do it. You're the accountant - why do I have to invoice????
I am ready to go medieval on someone and you are in my sites. Just do as I ask, back away slowly and no one will get hurt.....
Go ahead. Go medieval with a large pike. & maybe a mace.
I just might:rolleyes: Bi&$% hasn't opened the estimate for me..
Dear great keeper of time
why is the clock moving so slowly today while i am at work and why will i have so little time AFTER work to get everything done?
Just asking, no logic explanation or answer required.
mimi who is fit to be tied.
Dear Verizon (People PC, Beachbody, etc) Call Center in India (can you tell I'm having a bad day??),
I realize this is a low cost alternative to a lot of companies, but all I want is to be able to ask my question and get an answer in less than the 25 minutes and 3 people you just put me through. My dsl line is hooked up - where is my modem???? And why can't you help me? I realize you gave me an estimated hookup date of 4/20 - yeah, you hooked the line up early. Just please send me my modem. No, instead, you give me yet another number to call which I doubt will much helpful than the first. All I'm asking for is a tiny bit of customer service in a really crappy day. Without the internet at home I am cut off my my TE sisters - I am not dealing well with this withdrawal. Lucky for you, you are the only dsl provider in my town and I can't drop you. Otherwise I would have told you off today and moved on to another company.
I am now going to take a deep breath and call my local number to see if they can help me. Wish me luck....
Dear Terry (Mary's boss),
Pretty sad I had to go over her head to get the estimate open, but it's now open in time for me to leave and have to start over Monday morning. Thanks.
At least it allowed me time to make an appointment at the employment agency. I'll be calling Verizon on the way home, on my company cell phone.
********bllllllloooooowwwwwwiiiinnnngggg ooooouuuttttt**********
Done venting now. Thanks for listening:p I'm off to get my little man and a big hug. Then I get to see my mom and sister tomorrow. And 2 whole days I don't have to think about this place. Taa-Taa.
hugs dar
hope your day gets better!
Dear Mother Nature.
Look, we get it. You're in charge. You own us. We are at your mercy. But haven't the past few weeks been just a little unnecessarily cruel?
One week it's -20C and overcast, next it's 18C and sunny, and now it's -4C and snowing? You give us a mere TASTE of spring, then throw it back in our faces? This is hella unfair.
Regards,
Frozen Cyclist
I hear ya! Its not snowing here, but cold and rainy...Saturday was amazing but did a complete 180 and is now crappy. I hate the little TASTE the its gone...:(Quote:
Originally Posted by run it, ride it
To the jerky dude cyclist,
I was minding my own d*&n business riding a straight line, not weaving, not yo-yo-ing my speed. Doing a respectible 20+MPH and when you past me on my left. You didn't even call out. So why the F*&k did you lauch that snot rocket. I almost ran into it. :mad: :mad: for what ever reason, when you went past, I drifted to your left side and you Mr. A__hole, you launched it on your right side. YOU MISSED!!
Then to the two boys, one riding a brand spanking new Colnago with Record component, next time please ask if you want to draft off of me. You are a big boy and so was your friend. Back off! I not only had to keep my eye on the road, I needed a second set of eyes on back of my head to keep an eye on you two. With such nice bike and nice component, surely you could have past by me. I was only doing 23MPH. I'm out of shape pld bitty.
GRRRR
Dear wind gods.
You were very tough on our good pal Denise (AKA Running Mommy) today. You whipped her hard and sent her out on the run with nothing left in her legs. Well, she worked her azz off for a PR at IMAZ. Not only did you take her PR away, she couldn't finish in time for the cut-off.
You're mean and you better make it up to her somehow this year. Maybe you can convince the lottery gods she needs a little cash, or ask the gods in charge of health to leave her alone for awhile.
Dear so-and-so
If you told me once, three of four months ago that I could keep my bike upstairs, and I politely declined because after a 10mi hammerfest carrying a 30# bike up 4 stories felt like a death sentence, please remember that at one point in time that option was available to me.
Today, after my ride in, I didn't have my lock so I carried my bike up the 4 floors (because the building manager specified no bikes in the elevator) and asked politely if that option was still available. You not only told me you didn't remember having ever told me that, you also went to the office manager to inquire. You weren't polite about it, came back to me and said "He's not thrilled, it's only okay on an exception basis." :mad: WTF. You were the one who looked into bike parking for me!
GRRRRRRRRRRRR
Kit, maybe there are creative ways to get around this rule. If you disassembled your bike in the office, it wouldn't be a bike, it would be 2 wheels and some other parts. You could hide parts in dozens of different places. I think this is a challenge your devious mind can easily conquer, while making obvious the inaneness of the current policy.