Can Someone Explain Facebook/Twitter?

After having DD and DS, I was starting to feel disconnected. I have to stay home with the kids while DH works late most nights and every Saturday. After I get the kids down for the night I get on FB and "visit" with my friends.

Yes, I could call a friend instead . . . and sometimes I do. But being on FB is like going to the local coffee shop or bar. A group of my friends are just about always online and we can chat, make plans, play games, etc.

I've reconnected with friends that I lost touch with over the years. In fact, I discovered new shared interests/hobbies with some people from HS. We started a running group and I've found more women to mountain bike with.

It's been really great for networking. I've gotten A LOT of work from old HS buddies that I've recently reconnected with.

Best of all, my mom and I play scrabble on FB the nights DH works late. I'll get the kids in bed, make a cup of hot cocoa and play a game with my mom.

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Originally Posted by NbyNW

My professional association decided to start communicating with our membership on FB, and as part of the executive committee I had to sign up for the updates and then my professional world started to leak into my FB network. Being "friends" with professional colleagues can present some awkwardness, but I deal with that with privacy settings and being thoughtful about my posts.

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Not to add more complication . . . but I do know of people who have separate professional and personal FB accounts.

Yup, trail work parties, closed trail sections due to maintenance or fire, etc.

Calls for race support volunteers.

News feeds from USA Cycling.

Cycling group ride announcements.

Soooooo much better than having my inbox full of this stuff.

I use FB to keep in touch with extended family and friends. It's been pretty nice. I've reconnected with several cousins over the past few months. Also to keep in touch (and tabs) on my daughter in college.

I also keep a family blog with an internet address that only my family knows and is not publicly searchable. They get an email every time I post. I was keeping family up to date via emails but they weren't as 'pretty'. The blog is working out really well 'cause I can add photos, links, and give a few more details than I might on FB.

Don't use Twitter.

FB is also a great way to network. A friend of mine posted that she was looking to move to Vegas and get a job, and I had a friend in her industry there, and asked her if my friend could contact her. Now they are fb friends - very cool!

My DH is not a facebooker, but he's on facebook. He has three "friends" - his mother, an old friend from high school, and me. I do the rest.

Also, I think most of the issues with FB (malware and privacy issues) have to do with the "Facebook Platform." I have that turned off.

Without that, I can't play games, take quizzes, etc., but that I can live without.

After moving around the world numerous times (and having friends who have moved around), I find that my group of friends is a global one. I never have a very big social circle in any one place, but put together I have a large group of friends. Meeting up face to face would be prohibitively costly with the many trans atlantic flights involved. Going on facebook is a way of meeting up and chatting with friends as if we were all in the same coffee shop haning out. I've reconnected with friends from college (and earlier) who I had lost touch with over the years because of frequent moves. International phone calls were just too expensive to keep in touch with everyone. Similarly, FB lets me keep up with family who are spread across two continents and three countries. We can now chat and play games as we would do if we were living in the same neighbourhood, only we save the cost of transatlantic flights and international phone calls. For instance, I now feel like I know my brother much better than I have done in the past 15 years when we were on separate continents and spoke only briefly at Christmas when we both go home.

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Originally Posted by OakLeaf

Also, I think most of the issues with FB (malware and privacy issues) have to do with the "Facebook Platform." I have that turned off.

Without that, I can't play games, take quizzes, etc., but that I can live without.

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Please tell me how to turn that off!

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Originally Posted by OakLeaf

Aside from everything else that's already been said here six times...:

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:D:D:D:D:D

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Originally Posted by OakLeaf

Also, I think most of the issues with FB (malware and privacy issues) have to do with the "Facebook Platform." I have that turned off.

Without that, I can't play games, take quizzes, etc., but that I can live without.

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Also important to go into settings and delete any applications not in use.

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Originally Posted by KnottedYet

Please tell me how to turn that off!

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Settings>Privacy>Applications>Settings, and I just turned everything off on that page:

* Do not share any information about me through the Facebook API
* Don't allow friends to view my memberships on other websites through Facebook Connect.
* Don't allow Beacon websites to post stories to my profile.


And yeah, what Flybye said about deleting apps.

Knot, thanks for asking, and Oakleaf, thanks for answering. That's some good info there.

10 things every facebook user should know:

http://www.allfacebook.com/2009/02/facebook-privacy/10/

**THIS LINK IS CURRENTLY DOWN** but should be up back soon. It is an excellent article.

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Originally Posted by Tuckervill

That's kind of an unfair and ignorant assessment.

Most of my friends are over 40, many over 50. My father was 71 when HE invited me to Facebook, in 2007. My generation is making very very good use of Facebook.

I find it an extremely useful tool for keeping up with my friends and family who are far away. I wouldn't know near as much about my grandchildren if not for Facebook. I wouldn't see the most recent pictures instantaneously if not for Facebook.

I recently found a good friend whom I'd lost touch with since we both moved away. It was awesome and lovely. I had searched for her on Google for a long long time, and it wasn't until Facebook that we actually connected. I'm thrilled and so is she!

I dare you to get on Facebook, and just connect with the people you know who are already there, and just sit back and watch. You'll change your mind.

Karen

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thanks Karen, you said that so much nicer than I would have.

For a long time I was extremely wary of FB...visions of old junior high boyfriends, amongst others, came to mind, hunting me down and forcing me to friend them.

Really, it is much more benign. I joined about a month ago because a friend insisted it is a great marketing tool for my business (which I think is arguable, but at least it is free!)...but I find it really fun on a personal level, and have indeed re-connected with some very good friends from the past (like this last week with a couple of former teammates with whom I raced Idaho's HP Challenge in the mid 90's!), none of whom I could have reconnected with by other means. And my sister, who never has time for a phone call, seems to have endless availability through FB. we poke each other daily.

I find it a very friendly format, and the extreme ease of uploading photos (there is a tool through iPhoto that allows you to upload about 50 in a minute) makes it really easy to share your life (on your terms) with your extended community.

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Originally Posted by uk elephant

I now feel like I know my brother much better than I have done in the past 15 years when we were on separate continents and spoke only briefly at Christmas when we both go home.

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Is this the same brother to whom once you asked what's been going on lately and he said "check my Facebook page"? :rolleyes: ;) :D

What works for me; Facebook, people I know IRL but distance or time constraints don't see as often as I'd like. Great to keep in touch, post a picture from wherever I am, have gotten in touch with old school chums and I mean like elementary school :p :D and two ex's I get along with :rolleyes:

Discussion groups. Most there don't have my real name, some I never meet. Groups like TE we have stuff in common and of course I have family on TE but the groups are strangers mostly with a focus on one issue (unless we're drifting) :cool:

I'm twitter impaired :rolleyes: don't use it at all.

The cool part for me has been keeping up with my goddaughter at college - she has drug me into the FB IM and cell texting generation. and the other cool part with FB IM, is one of my friends recently went through tonsil cancer treatment, and it helped her to be able to 'talk' when her voice was gone. But different strokes for different folks......enjoy however you communicate!!! :cool:

I'm part of the original target demographic for Facebook, so I've spent most of the last three years with a profile. I try not to do the silly quizzes or things like that unless they look like fun. (So I have the Scrabble app.) I keep in touch with my sister who is apparently unable to use a cell phone :rolleyes: (or keep it out of the washing machine...), my friends who I've seen maybe three times since we went to college, and find out about campus events via Facebook.

The frequent status updates...well, if you know you're going to get a reaction...The frequent ones among my friends are "OMG, midterms! I have three tests and two papers and a project due this week!" Those get sympathy and encouragement.

One of the more serious uses for FB: A guy who went to my high school and university was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive brain tumor. We didn't know each other, but we had many mutual friends. (He is a year older than me.) He's undergone several surgeries and took a turn for the worse in September. His closest friends started a group in order to keep everyone updated on how he was doing.

Here ya go. ;)

I don't get the point about how some use Facebook instead of calling, because calling takes too much time. If I am sitting at my computer, using Facebook, isn't that taking up time? I could be doing lots of other things (like leaving for work!) instead of being on TE right now.
I also have moved a few times. I have kept in contact with friends from my last interstate move, which happened way before any form of electronic communication. It is hard to make new connections, but I did it.
My thing with all of these forms of communication is that there is less and less face to face human interaction. It's scary to me. I also think think that the technology aspect of Facebook is somewhat non intuitive to me. If I had to find information about cycling routes there, I'd never find it.
I wonder if there are others like me? I still write down things on paper.

You know, people probably had these same discussions when the telephone was invented. "Why can't people take the time for a personal visit or a handwritten letter? It's so impersonal..."

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Originally Posted by Crankin

I don't get the point about how some use Facebook instead of calling, because calling takes too much time. If I am sitting at my computer, using Facebook, isn't that taking up time? I could be doing lots of other things (like leaving for work!) instead of being on TE right now.
I also have moved a few times. I have kept in contact with friends from my last interstate move, which happened way before any form of electronic communication. It is hard to make new connections, but I did it.
My thing with all of these forms of communication is that there is less and less face to face human interaction. It's scary to me. I also think think that the technology aspect of Facebook is somewhat non intuitive to me. If I had to find information about cycling routes there, I'd never find it.
I wonder if there are others like me? I still write down things on paper.

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I share your concerns Crankin, less and less personal interaction seems to, in part, aid the growth of our current societal trend towards rude and boorish behavior. Many of the things I read on FB and on other online communities showed people behaving in ways they (hopefully) wouldn't in a face to face situation.

For me: it makes me see more people in real life! If someone posts that he is going to a ... lets say cycling event :D ... i can ask if i can come too. :D

Posting again to clarify - since I'm one of the people the OP reacted to in the generalization that has sparked so much discussion...

I do like Facebook (and I have used twitter and still have an account). What I object to are the people who post 10 status updates a day, and expect everyone to follow them with rapt attention. Not for me. I know how to ignore, and do. I don't even log on every day. But, it is nice to keep up with some people that I might otherwise lose touch with.

CA

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Originally Posted by Crankin

I don't get the point about how some use Facebook instead of calling, because calling takes too much time.

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But when you call someone, you're telling her "drop everything you're doing and speak to me NOW".

With facebook or email, you give that person the ability to respond when she's ready.

It's not about your time, it's about your recipient's time.

Just a thought ...

Jobob's got it right--I get on FB when I have the time for it, which is generally very early in the morning before my family gets up or late at night after the kids are in bed, dishes done, lunches packed, etc. I would be FINE with people calling me during those times, but they don't. They call at 8:00 at night when I'm trying to do a million things and I end up getting my kids to bed late because the person on the other end of the phone who DOES have free time right then wants to chat and I don't want to be rude by saying "look, could you just email me please?" FB lets people keep in touch who have wildly differenent schedules (also works great for different time zones--FB was how my sister and I kept in daily contact when she moved to Norway).

Of course, I've never been a fan of phone calls. I don't like talking on the phone and never have. I wrote lots of letters to friends and family when I was in college, but email came around about a year after that and it was a godsend to me.

The other obvious benefit of FB communication is that you're communicating with a lot of people at once. Instead of spending time on the phone relaying information to one person, you're updating your whole family and your complete circle of friends. When you're part of a big family like mine, that's really nice--no more of the "well no one told me that!" when you forget to tell one person about something going on. Case in point: I was heading out to Girl Scout camp on a Friday afternoon (and in charge of the group so I couldn't bail on them) when DH called to tell me he was taking our son to the ER with pneumonia and the flu, going directly from the pediatrician to the hospital. Because I couldn't drop everything and didn't have the time to call everyone (I did make one call to my sister; once I got to camp there was no cell phone reception and DH wasn't allowed to use his phone at the hospital) I posted that news on FB, which let everyone know what was going on--far flung friends sent virtual support while local friends stepped in to bring dinner to DH in the hospital, walk and feed our dog, and get a change of clothes for both DH and our son. I'm not saying these things wouldn't have happened without FB, but it sure made things a lot easier!

Sarah

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Originally Posted by OakLeaf

You know, people probably had these same discussions when the telephone was invented. "Why can't people take the time for a personal visit or a handwritten letter? It's so impersonal..."

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Exactly. Email as well.

I've never done Facebook or Twitter. Now I might consider opening a Facebook account for my work, but not for personal use. I have better things to do with my time. I have no use for Twitter.

I recently received a LETTER from an old friend who lives far away. It was so nice! I have yet to write her back, but I certainly will. I like letters.

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Originally Posted by jobob

But when you call someone, you're telling her "drop everything you're doing and speak to me NOW".

With facebook or email, you give that person the ability to respond when she's ready.

It's not about your time, it's about your recipient's time.

Just a thought ...

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Gosh, so true. Seems like everyone wants to call between the hours of 5:30 and 7:30 PM. I've just picked up two kiddos from daycare, I'm trying to simultaneously make dinner, play with the kids, make a bottle, feed the baby, change the baby, . . . it's a three-ring circus. How do I answer a phone with a dirty diaper in one hand and chicken goo all over the other???

FB lets me communicate with everyone at my convenience.

I reiterate, dropping into FB is like stopping by the Coffee Shop: you never know which friends are going to be there, but there is going to be friends there.

You know, I don't see how FB is that much different than TE forums.

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Originally Posted by limewave

You know, I don't see how FB is that much different than TE forums.

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Wider in casting your net to non-TE friends and narrower in letting you choose with whom you communicate.

As far as a time waster or less efficiency than a phone call, who ever had the time and money to print photographs and mail them to every single friend and family member who might like to know about your last vacation? I can post an album and provide some info on each picture for everyone to see and no one feels neglected because they weren't called first. For all the green-minded, the savings in paper, ink, and transportation of the photo graphs should be a winner.

And to take that "it's not about ME" approach to time a step further, it's also about group communication among a circle of friends. If you don't understand that benefit, why are you on TE?

If you want to call someone individually, do it. If you're more of a sharer of photos, news stories, petitions, links to interesting/funny videos, and like the resulting group conversation, FB is a great tool. Neither the phone nor written letters can do this.

Matter of fact, while my father isn't on FB, he is hard of hearing and neither of us is a phone-chatterer. We communicate far more by email than we ever have by phone, letter, or even in person when I was living at home. Would you still have me drive my horse and buggy 500 miles to visit him?

I see the condescension swings both ways.

I don't do FB but I do post here, they are not mutually exclusive.

Here's a thought, how about if you enjoy posting on FB...do it and have a great time. If you prefer old fashioned communication...do it and have a great time.

Yep.

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Originally Posted by jobob

But when you call someone, you're telling her "drop everything you're doing and speak to me NOW".

With facebook or email, you give that person the ability to respond when she's ready.

It's not about your time, it's about your recipient's time.

Just a thought ...

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Would you tell my mom that? She thinks I should have a set time of day when "it's best to call."

FB and it's convenience, is not going to happen in my family ...when those who have internet don't respond by email in a timely manner all the time nor do they email often. Also 3 members of my family don't have internet access. 1 of them is a sister who's trying to save money. She's really tight on her budget to pay off her mortgage solo.

Others are my parents. Not computer literate and different language.
I don't expect my nieces and nephews to suddenly bond alot closer to their aunts and uncle..they have many of them anyway. :p

And my close friends who are quite computer literate..they only send me pleasant emails occasionally. I'm happy with the the updates.

I can't force loved ones to use FB, if they aren't using prerequisite technology at this time often with me.

Does this mean less bonding? After hearing stories how little some people trust even some of their siblings....gosh, I trust mine, all of them 100% even if we're not on the phone/email/FB/Twitter/letter every week or every month.

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Originally Posted by Crankin

I don't get the point about how some use Facebook instead of calling, because calling takes too much time. If I am sitting at my computer, using Facebook, isn't that taking up time? I could be doing lots of other things (like leaving for work!) instead of being on TE right now.
I also have moved a few times. I have kept in contact with friends from my last interstate move, which happened way before any form of electronic communication. It is hard to make new connections, but I did it.
My thing with all of these forms of communication is that there is less and less face to face human interaction. It's scary to me. I also think think that the technology aspect of Facebook is somewhat non intuitive to me. If I had to find information about cycling routes there, I'd never find it.
I wonder if there are others like me? I still write down things on paper.

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The only way you'll find cycling routes on facebook is if you have friends who post them there. It's not designed to be the source of information on everything.

It is not physically possible to have more face to face communcation with many of the people I stay in touch with on Facebook because we live far apart. And most of the ones who are local are former co-workers with busy lives who I won't see face to face anyway. I used to try to meet with them and it literally took months to find a day and time when we were both free, until finally I gave up trying. But now we have an easy way to stay in touch.

Really, it's not evil.

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Originally Posted by Pax

I see the condescension swings both ways.

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:confused:

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Originally Posted by Crankin

I don't get the point about how some use Facebook instead of calling, because calling takes too much time.

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I have friends and family members that live in some strange places. Ever tried to place a phone call to Angola or Cambodia?

Keeping in mind that no one's going to force anyone to join FB if they don't want to, I really enjoy it. It's one stop shopping to keep on top of what others are doing or their state of mind; one stop shopping to share photos with others; and I can play scrabble with my mom.

I'm also with the poster that found some long lost people. Back in the days before computers, if you were transient, moved a lot, it was hard to keep track of people. Maybe you didn't have a phone for six months or forwarding address expired? I too found some very special long lost people and it's been a hugely rewarding experience to reconnet.

Note, you don't have to friend everyone that asks you, and you can hide anyone you want.

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

Does this mean less bonding? After hearing stories how little some people trust even some of their siblings....gosh, I trust mine, all of them 100% even if we're not on the phone/email/FB/Twitter/letter every week or every month.

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:confused: Bully for you that you have such a great family. Some of us have very dysfunctional families but that's a different conversation.

Shall we go back to the agreement that FB can be a benefit for some? Pick and choose your own communication style. Under your argument I should call my dad even though he can't hear me.

Great Sadie that FB works for your situation.

For those involved in counselling for bilingual, multilingual families....some family members can't even read the language of mother tongue or 2nd adopted language. Guess audio clip should work if they can work the technology.

Verbal works..even if horribly imperfect..I can't even understand my mother 40% of the time. I've lost alot of my Chinese speaking fluency. Can't read Chinese. Translation software for certain languages is time-consuming since words are used creatively by human beings.

With an immigrant population increasing in North America...phone is still the best method in some families.

A note for all future counsellors. When you do cross-cultural family counselling. Technology will not solve linguistic gaps. We still have the world insisting on English fluency, despite translation software.

We're just grateful father can speak English over phone...but he won't be around forever. :(

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

For those involved in counselling for bilingual, multilingual families....some family members can't even read the language of mother tongue or 2nd adopted language. Guess audio clip should work if they can work the technology.

Verbal works..even if horribly imperfect..I can't even understand my mother 40% of the time.

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That is sadly a side effect of FB. I speak French fluently but I find it very difficult to write it, so I hardly ever do. So for my French speaking friends I prefer to pick up the phone.