Living in Egypt , near denial... or I'm ready to quit

In mom's defense, she is a single parent and she is trying.

I think the boy needs to be held much more accountable for his actions. By ten most kids understand what is right and what is wrong. He does understand because he has come to me on more than one occassion to tell me about other students who have done many of the same things he does (bullying, inappropriate language, body contact...)

I just don't know what "holding him more accountable" should look like. In all honesty I'd like him ostracized in the class by the class - not permanently. But when he does some of this garbage I'd really like his peers to let him know how despicable his behavior is.

He's been suspended numerous times. He's lost tons of recess time over the years. Those things aren't lasting and don't matter. The class refusing to socialize with him might matter. Trouble is - I have about 6 others who think bad behavior is cool. How do you ostracize 1/4 of your class? I'd love to make him sit in the corner. He can still hear instruction and I can see him... but that would be bad for his self esteem. Too bad. :rolleyes:

Veronica

It is SO hard to get kids to own up to mistakes, apologize or be accountable. ANY kids. I have this fight over and over with Em. She's a good kid but she will NOT admit a mistake. I keep telling her I would rather shat she is honest, back down, admit she's wrong or made a mistake than arguing about it. I figure if I keep reinforcing it eventually she will start doing it. I'd rather you say you screwed up and be accountable than trying to evade blame. Blame's not that bad. It's life. Everyone makes mistakes.

Having a peer group that thinks bad behavior is cool makes it tough for you V. And I don't know what you do to make it sink in. I think you just have to keep chipping away at it, keep the mom informed (and put your asbestos earmuffs on when she leaves you voice mails) and just know you are trying to do what you can.

V-
I'll just say "thanks" for teaching. Thanks for taking the time to make the lives of these kids better. I can only imagine how difficult some days can be.

Michele you didn't need to edit.

I love how off topic threads get sometimes. It's like a conversation.

I was bringing myself back on topic...:D

It's good to have a place to write out some of my frustration. It's better than my journal because the journal doesn't write back and offer ideas or just encouragement. :)

I must be doing something right because I have so many kids come back to visit me - including some who are now in college.

Veronica

Here's an example of how teachers impact their students every day (without even knowing it sometimes):

My 5 yo often says "Oh my God" which drives me crazy. Her cousins all say it, so she picked it up from them. We ask her to chose a different phrase every time we hear her say it.

Last night she came home from Kindergarten and at some point said, "Oh my goodness gracious!" I asked her where she had heard that and she said, "Mrs. H. says it!" It was a pleasant surprise to me that her teacher has more influence over her than her cousins do! I'm sure that she is learning valuable life skills every day that she is in this woman's classroom.

So, to all of you teachers, please know that you DO make a difference every day. And that most parents are appreciative of it.

Veronica,

I'm sorry. From the title of your thread, I thought your post topic was getting to the end of your rope with this job and thinking of quitting. I was just posting about my hubby's similar position and how many think he's crazy for absolutely loving what he does.

Anyway, on to the real topic (thanks so much for clarifying, as I can be pretty dense at times): yes, I do agree that you are dealing with a whole different animal than when we grew up. Kids are exposed to so much more at an earlier and earlier age. And, it seems as though parents want to be their kids' friends more than they want to be their parents. The other thing I notice, is how much earlier in age kids are developing/maturing -- eleven and 12 year-olds look like they are in their teens! :eek:

Fortunately, for my husband, because it is a privilege for these kids to be allowed to attend the grant-funded after-school program, he has the authority to kick kids out of the program. He does the warning, calling the caregivers, and contracts, but if all else fails the kids are shown the door. This really sucks for the caregivers as they have to find alternative after-school care for their non-compliant adolescents!

So, I guess I don't really have any great advice for you other than continuing to take care of yourself -- yoga, cycling, reaching out to others for support. Big hugs to you. :o

When I wrote it - I was at the end of my rope and ready to quit! :D

Fortunately, I don't make snap judgments about the big stuff.

Today I'm home with my honey. He had a dental appointment and I decided a mid week day off would be nice. I have nearly 90 days on the books... I should probably take a day off more often. :D

Veronica

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Originally Posted by Veronica

I must be doing something right because I have so many kids come back to visit me - including some who are now in college.

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That has got to make you feel good about what you do! :cool:

(((V))) Hang in there Buckaroo! You are my kind of teacher!



Show mom the cootie catcher! hee hee

OMG. I only now just got the pun on the title of this thread. It's been a long month. :rolleyes:

Keep us posted with the cootie catcher....

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Originally Posted by Veronica

Yes children have changed. They see R rated movies now. They play video games like Grand Theft Auto - a game that promotes criminal activity and not just stealing cars. ...

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I agree wholeheartedly, and what V has mentioned is just the tip of the iceberg.

Keep fighting the good fight, V. You are making a difference.

I understand, V. I REALLY do.
Not to add to your insanity, but just so you understand: I have a group of kids this year that literally make me hate going to work (and I've never hated teaching). Lucky for me (insert extreme sarcasm) I get to teach all 104 5th graders. A good 30 of them make my life hell everyday. I take so much time dealing with discipline and teaching right from wrong and catching them being sneaky, that the other 70 don't get what they need. It's like teaching preschoolers.
All day I say things like: Johnny, don't touch that. Sam, take your pencil out of your ear. Joey, you've been working on that paper for 30 min. and only have one problem done. Bob, stop licking your arm and the desk. The minute my mouth shuts- theirs immediately open and are talking non-stop. It spreads like wildfire. It's insane. The word fa@@ot is all over the place. Really, I'm ready to leave teaching. In the 11 years I've been doing it- it's gotten worse and worse. I fear for the future. I just know I can't handle dealing with it every day.
Now, on the other side- the other 70 I have are wonderful. I wish I could tape the mouths shut and tape the 30 to their chairs so I could have some meaningful learning time with the ones who really want to learn. I'd go to prison if I did that, but for one day it might be worth it....
And don't get me started on the parents I have to deal with, too. I've just accepted that it's always my fault this year, it's not their kid, I'm to blame for their 11 years of bad child rearing and I'm just picking on their kid. :mad:

Now it's off to work to go play policeman, counselor, judge, jury, mother, dictator...

What is it with the constant talking?! My class never shuts up either. Whatever happened to, "Don't talk when an adult is talking?" They are so rude to other adults at our school. The librarian hates my class... the noon supervisors hate my class... the PE teacher... the sub I had yesterday...

And everything is about me! (meaning each individual child) I don't think I have ever had such a selfish, self absorbed class before.

I wonder if there was something in the air when these kids were born....

Do what you can to keep your sanity.

Veronica

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Originally Posted by Veronica

The librarian hates my class... the noon supervisors hate my class... the PE teacher... the sub I had yesterday...

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I know what you mean. I have a hard time finding a sub. I have to have surgery next month and it's pulling teeth to find someone who will actually sit in a room with my class for 5 days.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Veronica

I wonder if there was something in the air when these kids were born....

Do what you can to keep your sanity.

Veronica

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I wonder the same thing... :rolleyes:

You try to keep your sanity, too. We'll make it through... I hope.


I measure my days by how many glasses of wine it'll take to take the edge off when I get home.
Today is a 4 glass day. Not a good one. There were tears (and some of them were mine).

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Originally Posted by Tri Girl

I measure my days by how many glasses of wine it'll take to take the edge off when I get home.
Today is a 4 glass day. Not a good one. There were tears (and some of them were mine).

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Ohhh... that's not good.

How is that you are seeing all the 5th graders? Did your school do some sort of reorganizing thing?

One of the other 5th grade teachers told me today that I am the only sane one on our staff because I keep my job in perspective. It is just a job. We have a "Martha Stewart" type teacher on our staff. Her room is always perfect. She's on all sorts of committees, working on her Master's. Her job is her passion. That's great for her. Trouble is... she thinks it should be that way for all of us. Nope - it's my job.

I don't feel like I keep it in perspective sometimes. Nights when I'm lying awake trying to figure how to set up my room so that A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I J and K are all separated from each other...

How about yoga instead of wine?

Veronica

Veronica,

I don't know how you do it. I have a ten year old boy. Just one. Not 30. OMG. He drives me insane. I keep on top of communication with his teacher, who is great, by the way. He's currently grounded for failing math (already) and lying to his father and myself about unfinished work that he has in addition to his homework packet. I feel out of the loop sometimes because he's with me half the week and his dad the other half. I don't always get informed of what's going on, so I emailed her and she filled me in.

This kid sees NO REASON that he needs to know math?!?!???! He also wants a new teacher because "the other 5th grade teacher is nicer." For the record...his teacher is awesome and really likes him, he's doing really well in all other areas, she thinks he's a great kid with zest for learning, etc. I'm all "no way!!" If you did your work, you wouldn't have any problems! Oh, and by the way...next year, in middle school, no one is going to baby you! You're going to be responsible for writing down your assignments, you might not get the nicest teachers and you know what...tough cookies...learn to adapt, do your work and you'll get through it! Grrrrrr....

Anyway...just giving you hugs because I am finding this age to be the toughest so far, as a parent. :o

I see all the kids because we are departmentalized (which I'm discovering I don't like). I teach SS to all the 5th graders, and Language Arts to my homeroom only. It has benefits (less preps), but far more drawbacks (104 papers a day to grade- everyday, 104 parents to deal with, 104 problems).
Today I had the kid who started crying uncontrollably because he couldn't think of what to write for his essay (even tho we spent 20 min. brainstorming together), the kid who sat and stared at me with a death glare then refused to answer me and just rolled his eyes, the kid who I have to remind every 30 seconds to get back on task and work (he writes one sentence every 30 minutes), and the kid who threw his chair because I apparently was asking something ridiculous of him: to do his work. Grrrrrr.... (ok- enough griping- I'm sorry).

They were small glasses if it makes you feel any better about my blooming alcoholism. ;) I'm normally someone who works out all the time, but since school has started I've only worked out 2 days. That's it. I have absolutely no mental or physical energy when I get home. I'm so drained from the day. I know that's the perfect time to blow off some steam, but it's just not happening. I can't even muster the focus it takes to go for a run or walk (let alone have the mental focus to ride). I usually just zone out in front of the tv or read a book to escape my world.

One quarter down, 3 to go. At least it's not the first day of school...:p

And Martha Stewart? Hey- I've got one, too. She's Nationally Board Certified and thinks it's the best thing ever, and tells you all the time. Big deal. The teacher across the hall from me is best friends with the principal, and a 10 year old at heart. No matter what I say, she goes and tells on me. She's always trying to bait me into saying things and I always come back with the opposite of what she's wanting to hear. It makes her so mad, and I'm so evil that I love it.

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Originally Posted by Brandy

Anyway...just giving you hugs because I am finding this age to be the toughest so far, as a parent. :o

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Wait til you hit pre-teen/teenage GIRL (don't you also have a girl?). OY!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Do you use Scott Foresman SS?

That's what we use. You know this is the first year I've ever actually finished Unit 1. :cool: Usually I just don't have enough time.

I decided I wasn't going to use our Lang. Arts series much this year. The workbook is lame. A lot of the stories are lame. We read Sign of the Beaver and then we did Unit 1 in Soc. St. on Native Americans. We read one story from the lit. series, A Boy Called Slow.

We have our first benchmark test next week. I'm anxious to see how the kids do compared to the other two classes. One teacher has done a lot with the LA series. The other is kind of in between the two of us. Fortunately we all get along really well, so if one of us is more successful, it doesn't matter.

Brandy stay on your kid. Be a harda$$! Although I bet he can be as stubborn and determined as mom. :D

MP I don't envy you the teen years. But you've built a good relationship with PP. In ten years, she'll love you again and thank you for being a great mom.

Veronica

Well, I just feel bad for you Tri-Girl. I got Nat. Board certified about ten years ago. I did the work, kept it to myself, and took the money the state gave me for it... even when I was the biggest workaholic around, I still made time for the rest of my life. I don't know why teachers are such b****es to each other. OK guys, I can say this because I was a teacher for 31 years. I worked in 8 different places and it was the same everywhere; just varying degrees.
I taught SS to fifth graders for 2 years, along with LA to my HR. But I only had a team of 70 kids. After that, I just did LA in gr. 6 or 7. Yes, the work load is tough, but I preferred it to having to teach more than one subject.
One of the reasons I quit the job I had before my last job is that they were going to make me use a "series" to teach LA. I felt like I was being punished because I could teach skills and strategies within the context of a holistic approach. It's a lot more work, but definitely more fun. No one believed me when I said I would quit, but after I burst out in tears at a curriculum meeting, they sort of got the idea I was serious. I was just lucky someone else hired me, with 22 years experience. I had to do a lot of negotiating for the salary, but miraculously, they "found" an extra 15K over what they had budgeted for the position.
I had dinner the other night, with one of my former colleagues. I'll just say that I felt really good about my decision to quit. For the first time in my life, I am dealing with adults all day long.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Veronica

Do you use Scott Foresman SS?

That's what we use. You know this is the first year I've ever actually finished Unit 1. :cool: Usually I just don't have enough time.

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Acutally, we do use that book. I like it, but our district has us moving so fast that I don't get time to get into it like I'd like. We just took our first benchmark test and my classes did terrible. 70 is passing, and I think I had about 60-70 percent of each class pass. Sad. And it's not because we didn't spend time reviewing (I gave a study guide, we spent a week preparing...)

Anyhow- I don't get to read to my classes because we switch every 55 min. I barely get to read to my homeroom class, but I take 15 min. out of L. Arts (out of a 35 min block) to read to them. I just read The Kid Who Ran For President and now I'm reading the sequel. They love it.
I miss being self contained. At least then I had control over the time, and if I had 5 little toots, then I only had to deal with them- not the 30 in all the classes.
Oh well- a job or career change is definitely in order next year. I'm probably going to leave teaching for a while. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll find something. I can go back to retail, or something. I won't make as much money, but I don't care. I'm willing to take a hit in the checkbook and save my sanity.

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Originally Posted by Veronica

Ohhh... that's not good.

Nights when I'm lying awake trying to figure how to set up my room so that A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I J and K are all separated from each other...


Veronica

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Sounds like one of those dreadful logical games problems. "A" wears a cowboy hat and loves hamburgers, "D" has a pet chinchilla, "C"'s favorite color is chartruse, "J" eats only Twinkies and rides a bicycle and "F" lives in a bungalow. Who drives the SUV? (Answer: C. The answer is always C, you should know that :D )

To the teachers on this board: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

I have always been of the opinion that teachers should be earning the highest salary of ANY profession. It's criminal that teachers aren't honored enough both socially and financially. Multiple teachers changed my life for the better in many many ways.