Sounds like you've reached a good decision that you're all comfy with, wonderful! And, the not saying "I told you so" will probably the hardest part... ;)
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Sounds like you've reached a good decision that you're all comfy with, wonderful! And, the not saying "I told you so" will probably the hardest part... ;)
Sounds like a really good way to handle things. I hope things work out.
As a college teacher, I sort of take piercings for granted now. I don't really notice them unless there's spectacular jewelry involved. But I know lots of students who take them out for work and put them back in when they're not working.
One of my very favorite college students had numerous piercings: ears, spikes along the back of the neck, face, etc. He went to work for a fire department, and they all had to go, and so they went. Most piercings don't seem to cause big problems (when done by folks who know what they're doing).
BELLY BUTTON PIERCING OR TONGUE PIERCING? Hmmmm! BELLY BUTTON PIERCING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has good open communication with you and silver and hope she has good morals from her upbringing and is trying to express herself in a more conservative choice. My daughter at 16 asked for a tattoo. I said sure but I wanted to go and watch. shes 22 and unmarked.
The nice thing about a piercing is that once it is healed you can be as outrageous (HUGE gaudy jewelry) or understated (simple titanium post) as you want. You can hide it with "placekeeper" jewelry (which ends up looking like a small flat scar or a zit) or just leave it jewelry-free as needed. If a youngster wants to do some body mods, I vote piercing over tattoo.
Aftercare is sooooo important. If Silverdaughter has trouble, even after following the directions from the piercer, don't hesitate to get to the doc. I had a piercing (NOT from a professional piercer) go bad, and it was ugly ugly ugly. I had to just let it heal over and deal with the infection after the damage was already done, as I didn't go to the doc soon enough.
BTW, *don't* google failed and infected piercings. Just don't. The vast majority of piercings turn out fine.
I'm late to the thread, but I think it's a good choice, Mr. Silver! I never did anything like that when I supposed be young and reckless. Got my navel pierced at age 26! I felt so happy about it... Like I was finally a "cool" person. :o
It took FOREVER to heal. Hope your daughter cares for it properly. I still have mine 8 years later, and I still really like it.
I see lots and lots of posts in response to this, so before I read them, I'll say this.
After she knows all the pros and cons of having a piercing there, and after she understands that you feel "played" in some way, then I'd say don't stand in her way.
It's just art. She's not you. Her body is not yours. The way she expresses herself is not in your control. She'll just wait and do it later.
We only think we have control over what our kids do, when in fact, we only have influence. If we insist on control, we eventually give up influence, too. If you want influence, you have to give up the idea you have control.
That's my standard young adult parenting advice. That, and the mantra, "They're going to be GREAT 25 year olds!"
It's true...my eldest turned 25 last week and he's just GREAT!
Karen
Silver & Mr. Silver,
If it isn't too late.
Quickly scanning through the naval piercing messages, I haven't seen anyone write in on something my cousin, the GP, has noticed in his practice. Gals with naval piercings and pregnancy don't go together very well at all. Apparently that growing belly stretches open the hole. And since the belly continues to stretch for 9 months, it becomes a difficult problem to manage. His recommendation is that no gal should EVER get a belly button piercing if she plans on having children. Not that 16-21 year olds think of these things.
So on his advice, don't pierce the belly button; or if nothing else, ask you family doctor.
Then again, I'm one of those boring people that has one ear piercing each, no tats, no other piercings. I happen to HATE needles, unless I'm sewing with them.
as others said, at least she asked - not to mention, naval piercings are not generally on display (unlike a facial piercing, which may cause problems with employment) and have become one of the most common body adornment out there. if the girl in question is responsible, she shouldn't have any real problems with infection. what people fail to realize is that if you DO NOT TOUCH AN OPEN WOUND WITH DIRTY HANDS, you won't get an infection. most people basically don't take care of things and of course, problems arise.
as someone who worked as a piercing assistant for years, i highly recommend doing the research on the shop you go to (cheapest usually doesn't mean the best) and really instilling the fact that keeping the area clean (just use dial soap to clean off "crusty" fluids while in the shower anyway - no neosporin, ointments, lotions, etc....and NO PICKING) and comfortable (no waistbands resting on it during healing) are the best ways to heal any open wound.
also, some people are not ideally built for this piercing (the navel should be well defined - unfortunately, chubbier girls probably shouldn't get this piercing) and will probably face problems if they go ahead and get it anyway. the piercer should be able to help the client make that decision.
hope it worked out, either way.
'Self Mutilation' is taking it a bit far. I believe that line stands where teens are damaging themselves for the sake of damage... a sign of deep depression.
Myself, I started with ear pierces and didn't have a single 'body' pierce until I was 18 and able to make that decision as an adult. True, I started 'stretching' my pierces at around 16, but no body pierces...
It may just be a trend, or it may be a genuine interest... I just wanted to point out that it's *very* far from self-mutilation, unless she's taking needles home and putting them through skin for the h*ll of it, or cutting herself in random slashes... piercing for aesthetics are different...
...but... it could be a good 'lesson' for her. Navel pierces are pretty darn painful. I mean really. If you wanted to say 'ok, but... it hurts' and look at BMEzine.com, pushed 12g for the pierce size (better healing, less tearing etc) it'd hurt a bit going in... but... if she wants a piercing, not just something to show off to her friends, that's what she's gotta be in for. :p ;)
oh, and navels sometimes abcess a little, but it's not much to worry about. just KEEP IT CLEAN.
I say this after having had 12 pierces at the height of my 'career'... down to 10 now... ;)
Hard one - so many opinions.
Our attitude/stance has been that they can have ears pierced once they are 16.
Any other piercings as well as tattoos they have to wait til they are 18 - belly piercings, tattoos in this country have to have parent permission if under 18.
Our parental reasoning??? You are making a permanent alteration to your body and I believe you should have a more adult reasoning behind it and understand the consequences for life. I know some of these piercings will grow out if left - but belly piercings are more likely to infect, and face piercings - if you connect with something hard like a fist, the ground, a wall... will rip and bleed and scar.
Our children know our reasoning - not because we think piercings/tats are silly, or socially limiting or any of the other reasons listed in this thread. They know we have no objection to what they choose with their bodies, but they do know we want them to be old enough to be able to make a fully informed decision regarding their bodies. And I think they appreciate that.
Oh... and I meant to say, Mr S... I think taking the line you are is the right one. Letting them know you don't agree, but allowing this to happen (as she doesn't need your premission to do it) is the right stance.
We need to pick our battles where we can - and as she can do this with or without you, best wishes
IMHO, I say let her pierce her navel. Heck, take her yourself so you can ask all of the parenting type questions--you know, the one's she'll forget. THEN nag her to make sure she takes care of it the right way!
One of 4 things will happen:
1. She will think you are the coolest and brag to all her friends and it will bring you closer together (no better way to bond with teenager than to be a cool but responsible parent).
2. She'll be completely embarrassed that you are taking her and chicken out.
3. She'll get it, agree with item #1 and become more self confident in who she is because you respected her decision for her own body
4. See #1 plus, eventually get annoyed at you for being the responsible parent by nagging her to constantly keep it clean etc and take the darn thing out!
Either way you go, the job is to be the parent first and help her learn her own path in life. GOOD LUCK, I'm not a teenage but was one a few short years ago. And I can tell you, a little personal choice freedom goes a long way to preventing the major rebellion!
:D
Psst... he already has decided on this...Quote:
Originally Posted by CCinSC
;)
I want to know what Mr. and Mrs. Silver were doing in that shop themselves....hmmmm???? I think it's time to have a talk with those kids;)
YIKES:eek: :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by bmccasland
I had never really thought about that. Hmm that is a little scary.
Trekhawk who had a huge belly when pregnant.
Well, I'm going to assume that SilverDaughter isn't going to be pregnant anytime soon. :eek:
Again - piercings are removable. When I had my navel piercing, I knew that I might have to remove it at any time for a lot of reasons... pregnancy, laparoscopic surgery, emergency appendectomy, etc. etc. Same goes for the nipple and other girly piercings. Those will most likely get retired if I ever choose to bear children someday. At that point I'll just think to myself "well that was fun while it lasted". ;)
Another key point about navel suitability - it's not as tied to thinness/fatness as another posted suggested. While that can be a factor, the more important determining factor is the existence of a well-defined lip of skin overhanging the rim of the navel. Piercings through parallel tissue (like earlobes, nostrils, etc) have a good chance of succeeding. Piercings through flatter skin areas like a shallow navel or eyebrow piercing tend to migrate and ultimately reject.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtbdarby
la la la la la la........did you hear something? :D
Young Lady (arms akimbo in my most motherly - stern voice), do you have something you'd like to tell me????? **tapping my foot***Quote:
Originally Posted by silver
hmm, you're good Dar... I want to know too!Quote:
Originally Posted by mtbdarby
I don't even dare say what I'm thinking (a very rare occasion):p
Enquiring minds want to know.... :D
"NO!!!" **slams door**Quote:
Originally Posted by mtbdarby
I'll chime in with the earlier comment about pregnancy.
I'm a midwife, in practice for 14 years. Over the past 8 years or so, I've seen lots of pregnant bellies with a scar like this: ( then the belly button, and another scar, like this: ) The scars are sometimes an inch apart. I'm not sure, cuz I don't ask, at what point the women had to take out the piercing. But it's clearly much bigger than when they started! :cool:
I'm in the "better a piercing than a tatoo" camp. My right ear has three holes in it, from back in the 80s (only one hole in the left ear). Now I wish I didn't have those two extra holes, but they're not all that noticeable. I definitely don't want art on my body that I can't change! But that's me...
Keep us posted!
Lise - even a *bike* tattoo? :D
(I'm thinking about a chain-ring tat on my right calf. I get chain ring marks all the time anyway, might as well make it permanent!)
Ewwww, stretched out belly-button piercings! Not something I ever really thought about. (now, saggy nipple piercings I've considered. Perhaps there is a lower age limit to navel piercings, and an upper age limit to nipple piercings... not that I've ever thought of getting either, oh no, not me, uh-nuh. :rolleyes: )
Yeah, babe, even a bike tatoo! I am too changeable!Quote:
Originally Posted by KnottedYet
Plus which, I routinely give myself my own chain ring tatoos! Also tire print tatoos--I rode the Bianchi yesterday :D :D :D , and had a total blank spot in which I unclipped right and leaned left. I managed to unclip left in a hurry, but somehow got grease and tire prints all over both calves! (Sorry for the brief thread hijack, SilverFamily)
But then you've got some handy hardware to attach a support to... just run a line from boob to boob around the back of your neck like a halter top. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by KnottedYet
I swear I'm not stalking your posts tonight.
I've also seen some pretty funky looking stretched-out navel tatoos. I see fewer of those these days, and a lot more stretched out piercing scars. Hmmm, what will be the next fascinating fashion trend that gets all distorted when you get preggers?!? :p
My son's long-time girlfriend had plugs in her ear lobes, stretching them out. Not very big. When she brought it up in convo one day, it occurred to me to say that those holes would be handy for turning her over in bed when she's in the nursing home.
She wears normal earrings, now. I can't claim that the image is what made her change, but I'm so glad she did.
Karen
hi there..a few years ago i had a few piercings ie ears ,nose ,naval and tongue ..then i kinda grew up a little and now i dont have any..nor do i have any visible scarring ..i honestly think this is phase that will pass and possibly the best way to deal with it is go with her and make sure it all goes safely .
accepting it may just help the phase pass quicker
helen :)
**trying not to grin** The next time you slam a door on me young lady, I will remove the hinges AND the door:D (I can't wait to use this on my son - and I will take the door off...)Quote:
Originally Posted by silver
Or my new strategy, if you tell us what you were doing there, Knot will share one of her secrets:D Bwaaaa
One time I did this to SilverDaughter...she was grounded to her room, no phone, no Computer, NO DOOR. Taking the door off the hinges was the best punishment I could do!Quote:
Originally Posted by mtbdarby
I'm taking SilverDaughter for her new piercing tonight:o
well here is my story. My parents wouldn't let me get my ears peirced till I was 18 so one summer in the Bahamas I got my cartilage pierced at age 15 (you don't need consent there) I got my Belly peirced at 18 and I got a tattoo. I regreted the tat soon after getting it, and took the peircing out a year later. Now 5 years later the belly piercing still hasn't scarred or closed up. I can still put things through it, allthough I've only tried once recently. I know this all doesn't have a point but for some reason I just had to post.
:eek: :eek: :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Dianyla
I haven't read the whole thread yet. I'm 28 years old and just got my navel pierced when I was 25. I guess I'm not entirely sure why I did it. I think that I was going through a quarter life crisis. :D I saw some jewelry that I liked, so I decided that it wasn't as permanent as a tattoo and would be fun. I don't show it off nearly as much as I did a few years ago. I liked wearing shirts that showed the midriff a little bit, but mostly it was just fun to know that I had one. By the time that I start having kids in a year or so, I'll probably be okay with taking it out and letting it do whatever it is that it wants to do. It did get a little infected at first, but if a person keeps it clean, it heals alright.
I've considered tattoos off and on since I was 18, I still don't have one. My dad then said that he didn't know how he felt about it because technically he thought that it was important to show your body respect and treat it as a temple (From a Christian stand point...) . Though he did say that if I really felt as though I NEEDED one, then as long as I did it tastefully, he'd support it. I decided that I needed to design one myself, in order to be unique. I only just within the last few years figured out what I would get, if I did get one. I don't think it'll happen though.
16 is still pretty young though. I *think* that I read that piercings aren't always a good idea at a young age because your body is still developing. I'm not sure how much it would matter with a navel piercing.
It seems like everyone is providing ways to educate her and keep her from making a rash descision to allow her to decide for herself how important it is. That's great. Though I think that I would tell my daughter (if I had one) that I wouldn't give my permission for any piercings further south than that.
Still, 17 is young enough to have the slim and trim youthful body and she'll have lots of years to enjoy the piercing then too!
You lead her to the basement door. You say, Sweetie, you still want that naval pierced? You say, come on down the basement for a minute. Take her down to your workshop, pick up the biggest, rustiest nail you can find and a big hammer. Then say, "sit right down..."
It worked for me with my ears... I waited a whole nuther year after my Dad scared me like that.
My gut reaction? Say no. Tell her in two more years she'll be eighteen and can then have it done.
Oh yeah--I am so going to remember this one. My eight-year-old son already has a teenager's attitude. Any chance it will wear off instead of getting worse?Quote:
Originally Posted by mtbdarby
Very insightful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuckervill
here is my opinion...based on experience.
I am now 28, but when I was in highschool I wanted the same thing--except I wanted my nose pierced---which was pretty extreme back then!
My mom figured this was something she didn't agree with, but that I needed to also learn to make my own choices etc.
She and agreed that if I got good grades (mostly A's) the following semester, that I could get my nose pierced. I really wanted this, so I made darn sure i had good grades and she kept her promise.
A few years later, I got bored with it and took it out. No harm done.
if she is already a good student, then I think it is OK. Tell her she has to keep her grades up etc and all will be good. it isnt a permenent feature :)
I can't lie...probably not...but a door off the hinges could help.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chile Pepper
The grades thing works fine so long as deep down you are OK with the piercing.
I wanted my ears pierced and my Mum said I could get it done when I passed 'School C' (short for school certificate - an exam we used to sit when we were 15 or 16). I got good grades (in 6 subjects although that will ony mean anything to Kiwis) and duly got my ears pierced.
My little sister then wanted her ears done but was told 'the house rule is you can get your ears pierced when you pass School C'
all well and good - until my brother passed his School C - came home and said 'I want my ear pierced' - to give Mum and Dad credit they let him do it.