Printable View
UPDATE: Things are better after I reported to DH from my visit to the local bike shop yesterday that the Friday night rides have a few sets of riders... from "fast guys like you who do a couple of additional half mile loop arounds" to "pokies/noobs like me who ride back with the tandem."
He raised a brow and replied, "I guess I'll have to blow the dust off of my road bike, then."
Yay!
My DH is a runner - and sort of turned up his nose at cycling when I was getting started. He was, however, really excited that I had found something I really loved to do, and he LOOVES the muscles in my legs. ;) Since I've become more active, he picked up a used road bike, and we've done a few rides where he keeps asking me, "how fast are we going now? How about now?" I think the bug may be biting. Yippee!
Truth be told, riding does take up a lot of my spare time, but he is busy too, and I'm proud of him and what he does in his spare time, and he is just as excited about my cycling as I am.
He's also excited that the cycling has led to me getting into running. The bike has been a good development overall for our marriage.
Met my husband while pedaling furiously. We both raced mtb's and were often on the course at the same time and with about the same speed, were always passing each other, saying hi. :D
Really interesting thread.
My OH and I exist in a constant state of cycling harmony.
Initially I was the only one who cycled, but we eventually invested in a pair of hybrids and had many hours of fun trundling along the highways and byways of rural England.
Then one year she had time on her hands and revamped my old steel framed road bike. The nail in the coffin.
I rediscovered the thrill of the road, she felt like she was missing out, invested in a road bike herself, I upgraded to a lighter frame - and that was that.
We've been co-conspirators in our addiction ever since.
She's now stronger than I am, which is good as it keeps me on my toes and ensures I get the miles in, just to keep up.
OH is about to upgrade again to a carbon frame later this year - and hopefully my time will come at some point next year!
Bike shops are lethal as we both have no self-control - and get a thrill from seeing that "biker grin" on the other's face.
It was a significant birthday for me this year :rolleyes: - and my treat was a trip to Kent to watch the Tour De France go by. Only cyclists would think that romantic! :o
Riding is very good for our relationship. He cycled first, then convinced me to get a tandem with him. One of the first times we went out and rode together I told him it made me feel closer to him. We were doing something as a team, working together. We could talk and just hang out with each other. We had a common interest.
I have since gotten my own single road bike. He's thrilled at my new found love of riding, yet he's gotten jealous the couple of times I chose to ride my single over riding tandem with him. (We rarely ride singles together since he's so much stronger than I.) I love both for different reasons, so we're working on figuring out the balance. We're doing our first tandem century in September, so I need to put some priority on the tandem until after that.
So, in answer to your question. Cycling has been very good for our relationship since we both do it.
That's what I'm hoping...and I hesitantly raise crossed fingers and say it might be true. Thanks, Trek. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Trek420
Thanks Kimmy, for the compliment...great name, btw. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimmyt
We got him a mtb a couple years ago and I put slicks on it so that he could ride it on the streets. He's been on it maybe all of ten times. But, he has said lately that he may start using it in conjunction with the Bowflex as cardio (yay!). Actually, I think he's waiting on me! I have to change out the tube on the back tire (valve broke off). Guess I'm his wrench in addition to his wench! :p :D
~BikeMomma
Sure, you meet guys. And their wives :(Quote:
Originally Posted by quint41
:D :D :D :D :D :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by zencentury
I am hoping biking will have a positive effect on our relationship. I have lost about 65 pounds in the last 8 months and have become way more active - running, biking and lifting. I think he's felt a bit left behind in the process, because he needs to lose some weight too, but it just hasn't happened for him.
We just bought him a new bike this past weekend and we're going to start biking together on the weekends. He'll be on his new fast bike, and I'll be on my old bike pulling the bike trailer with our 2 kids. He thinks he'll be slower than me, but I doubt it. ;)
Although our relationship hasn't been strained, we aren't as close as we were before kids. I hope having some family time like this will help a bit...
Well... its augmented ours...
We both enjoy it, and I've done it more and more as he and the boys got into it.
We don't ride much together because of our different levels and my work hours... but I relish the times we can... and its great talking cycling with him too.
I started cycling when I met my now-husband three years ago. He's an avid cyclist and I thought it might be something fun to do together. He said from the get-go that he did not expect me to ride and that if I didn't like it I should let it go. Fortunately, I really enjoyed it from the start.
I'm very fortunate in that my husband loves to ride with me, even tho' his abilities are FAR above mine. He says he's just happy to be on the bike. He's been a wonderful teacher and a great inspiration. He and I ride together once or twice a week, and I send him off to ride on his own once or twice a week--so he still gets in his hard, fast, challening rides.
We're doing a 4-day bike tour in the San Juan Islands (WA) in a week and a half. He's done several of these organized tours including some pretty tough ones; but he's happy to do this "easy" tour and enjoy it with me.
Well, I'm a little jealous of those of you with cycling-positive partners. My partner thinks bikes are a public nuisance most days :rolleyes: (commuting in Boston tends to show you the bad side of riding/riders). He is, however, very into fitness, so we run together several times per week, and it's fun to bond over that. I really wish I could get him into cycling though.
He might like mountain biking, and I've sort of been pestering one of his friends, who is really into it, to take him out on the trails one weekend. I figure that if he gets the bug in that way, then one day he might join me on the roads. Or maybe not, but I can hope! :)
So, I met my DH in college, at a cycling club meeting. :D That was, oh, about 20 years ago. Our cycling lives have ebbed & flowed over the years, but when not cycling, we have running (which was really not my thing back then, but he got me into it), x-c skiing (my thing since I was 9, so I got HIM into that), etc. So even though he is 14 years older than I am, we have lots to share. I do sometimes beat him in races these days, but not biking!
One item of dispute all these years has been our first "date". I say "date", because I say it wasn't, but he says it was. He'd say "it's a date", and I'd say "no, it isn't". Anyway, we went biking together, and for some reason he thought he'd try to kill me. First, a ride out to find a big hill. Then, since the pavement ran out and we needed more distance, it was up to the airport (a HUUUUGE hill). Then, back to town. But no, we were hungry, and Pizza Hut is his favorite restaurant. Up a very long, very big hill! Then, after gorging on pizza, I realized there was an enormous uphill between me and my apartment! Ugh - I can't believe I didn't hurl! I was being tough, of course, not wanting to appear to be wimpy, plus I had never ridden any of these hills, and had only seen 2 of them before.
Early in our marriage, we made a pact that neither of us would ever do anything to prevent the other from racing/training/keeping in shape. So sometimes I'm lazy, and sometimes he's lazy, but we don't pull the "why don't you stay here in front of the tv with me, because my priorities are different from yours right now, and if you go it will make me feel like a slug for not going too" thing. I can't honestly say I haven't ever wanted to, or that I'm always the most supportive person in the world, but I try to refrain. And we don't always train together, but I guess we're pretty lucky to have similar interests and priorities, so we don't have the constant battle of "he loves that &%$# bike more than he loves me", like some people do. Hmmm - he is awfully crazy about that Trek Team Time Trial bike of his.....
Most of you know my story already so here's the short version.
I was in a seven year relationship. Not married but had the house, camper, 50acres of dog training grounds (we owned bird hunting dogs), etc.
I always busied myself with something as the BF has a job that required 60+ hours a week. Along with myself working, I was a gym rat, then finshed my degree, and after graduation, went back to the gym.
His entertainment was the bar. Rough day at work equaled drinking and smoking on the back patio. I can't tell you how many fights we had about "counting his beers"....
Bought my first road bike as a way to get out of the gym along with a girlfriend of mine. BF and I started fighting about the time invested in riding and that I was gone all the time. (he was at the bar - what did it matter) He even told me that he was going out with the boys one Saturday and that I needed to stay home so I could see how it felt to be home all alone? Huh?
Started doing club rides and shop rides. Broke up with BF, leaving him with most everything. Another equally wonderful fight we'd get into. He made 3 times what I did so he always told me how I didn't "contribute" to the relationship and household. I now live in a studio apartment.
BUT I'M HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out, the manager of the LBS and I started riding a lot and we developed a mutual affection for each other. Fast forward to almost a year after the breakup and the NEW BF and I race road and mountain bikes for the same team along with leading a newbie ride for the club on Mondays.
He's a much stronger rider and we hardly ever ride "alone" as we're always with our friends but that's okay....
Hah! Didn't turn out to be so short, did it?
Jeni
Your story always makes me smile. You did good!
Ah! I had not heard it. Thanks for telling it again! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by TrekJeni
Wow. Great stories.
TrekJeni - big smile!
Knot/Trek - another big smile!
BikeMomma/Kim - good luck. Man, it just always takes work regardless. I think my story's similar in some ways - maybe I'm the future of your story?
We were both pretty out of shape after kid. We both work full time, etc.. Then I started running again, and spinning and MTB-ing. And when we both started road riding together, training for our first century in 2001, he couldn't keep up.
Fast forward a couple years and a couple too many humiliations (none malicious) at being dropped and he just up and changed his life and dropped (in about a year) from 230 to about 190. Whereas I happily remained about the same. But he leaves me behind these days unless I really gut it out - but there's just no staying with him on hills anymore. Math (power to weight) is against me. The competitive part of me is bugged by it, but really I am proud of him. And he's a heck of a lot nicer since he lost the weight and got in shape. Really. We're all a lot happier than we used to be. It sounds silly. But I think there was a lot of bad self esteem stuff going on that he is finally getting the better of.
And cycling is definitely part of our lives together. We both coach and do long rides (though he thinks doubles are "stupid"), and we have done bike tours together. When we go on trips, we figure out how we can get some rides in, even alternating so one of us is with Em. And he's trying to get me back into mountain biking. :rolleyes:
In November we'll try a race together that we've each had great results in separately in the past. I wonder how long I can hang with him. :rolleyes:
I would rather have no man than an inactive man. Preferably a cyclist, definitely not a golfer or hunter. Those are not sports.
I'm just getting into riding a road bike.
My boyfriend is into downhill mountain biking. It's everything to him. He gets up in the morning and goes to work, so he can ride later. He races and rides all the time.
I'm not into this riding and know I will never be. I bought a mountain bike hoping we could bond and have something in common. But I'm more into XC mountain biking, he'll do it but just as a favor to me. It's not his love.
I recently put road bike tires on my mountain bike, and have been getting much more use out of it (alone).
I finally decided to buy myself a real road bike (the Cannondale Optimo Feminine 2 - it should be here this week). I'm basically taking my riding into my own hands. I hope to meet people in the area (don't know a lot of people here yet) and ride for me, not for him.
He's very supportive and thinks it's great that I'm getting into it. He's actually considering buying a road bike to help him get into shape for his races. I think it's actually helping that I've decided to go it on my own.
I can't wait to get going. And I think he feel my attitude and energy. It's great!! And he's so supportive. I think if (when) I start racing he'll be super supportive and cheering me on. :D :D :D
This is the Kiwi & Canuck story. I'll try and keep this short..
Ian & I didn't own a bike prior to 2003 and spent most of our rec time at the gym or (me) walking to work. I went to Canada in 04 to visit family, didn't have a job when i returned(was an ESL teacher but the NZ market went droopy :( ) and for some reason badgered Ian into buying me a bike. (Crap bike I might add..) He wanted one & that started our MTN biking, road riding life.
Cheap bikes were stolen, bought new mtn bikes ('which were a bit big but didn't know much back then) and this is where we found how much better it is to be a mtn biker rather than roadie in Auckland. We both looked forward to visiting Ian's parents as we could mtn bike :) We began to see how much weight was flying away with the biking we were doing. He's always been faster than me but I didn't care & just rode..
Ian's very supportive of my biking and whenever I whinge about how unfit i feel, he just shows me the :eek: pics of how we looked before we bought bikes..That works for me.. He wonders how I can whinge when i do 200km+ on my bike/week, plus swim 2x's/week plus pilates etc..
Since we've been in Perth we've found a good gang of MTN biking friends. (I'm the tortoise of the group & normally head my own direction when the others go zooooommm.. ) I'm getting faster on my road bike, a bit better on my mtn bike and fitter in general. Ian now has a nice muscular behind for me to pinch..:) When we road bike home together he enjoys pinching mine...
Neither of us complain about the $$$$$ we've spent on our bikes, gear etc as we're just having a ton of fun.:)
C
Wow, I really love this thread! It's so great to read so many wonderful stories!
Here's mine:
My BF bought a road bike last year after we had been dating for a few months. He fell in love with it right away and I would hear his stories about 20 and 30 miles rides, how he liked his shoes and pedals, and how he loved being out on his bike. He would often try to figure out how he could get a ride in and see me on the same day while continuing to practice (we're both musicians) and get other stuff done.
Fast forward to this May. I decided after doing a bunch of research, independently of him, that I wanted to buy a road bike. He was (and still is) very supportive of me and taught me how to shift, how to ride clipless, how to climb more efficiently, etc. It has hands down been the most positive thing in our relationship because we spend so much more time together now planning rides and talking about bike stuff. I have no idea what the future holds for us, but I know he'll always be the one that got me into cycling! :)
Let's hope the future is bright, eh? I shudder to think of the alternative, and it was headed that way.Quote:
Originally Posted by maillotpois
Bingo. I think that is/was the root of it all. All my encouragement, tears, begging, silent treatment, "please be alive to see your kids graduate college" speeches, nagging, and every other "cheerleader" technique I tried failed miserably, with empty promises and crushing disappointment. I'd get my hopes up, then got let down again and again. It was emotionally exhausting for me. Finally, years down the road, I realized that it would take HIM to be his own cheerleader to get him motivated. The last year has been very rough for us, talk of divorce, etc. I think damn near hitting rock bottom in our marriage has been the wake up call he needed. So far so good. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by maillotpois
I'm proud of you guys, MP -- it's these types of success stories that I would tell him about, if nothing else to let him know that what he needed to do IS possible. Sortof like, "if they can do it, so can we."
~K
Well, about 6 months after my boyfriend and I started dating in 2004, I got into triathlons. Well, I started to train. Didn't compete until 2005.Quote:
Originally Posted by indigoiis
So, I had a bike and went riding a lot. I finally convinced him to rent a bike and just see how he liked it... since he wanted to stay fit but was hating the gym.
He got hooked. He loved it, and finally realized he wanted to buy a bike. So he bought a Trek 1200... and demolished it 30 days later. Yes, DEMOLISHED it. He knew he didn't want to give up cycling, so he bought a Specialized Allez and hasn't wrecked that one.
How did it affect our relationship?
Well, honestly, we had some "growing pains" when he took up cycling.
Specifically, he was very competitive with me and got VERY PISSY when we rode together because I was faster and could drop him like a rock, which I tried very hard not to do. There were times when we rode together that he was very immature and almost pouting like a little kid. So,we had some conversations about his behavior and he worked hard to fix it.
It helped that he got faster than me... but lately due to him hardly ever riding, his average has gone down. He has done good to keep a good attitude about it... but sometimes he slips. Mind you, we hardly ever ride together and honestly I rather like it that way.
Yea, pretty much I get up on the weekends to ride and he stays in bed. I'm OK with that though. Since he doesn't like riding in the heat or distance... if he did go ride with me, he would be in a horrible mood the whole time with me trying to not let him affect me and trying to keep him positive.
I guess that pretty much covers it! So, he does ride, but we don't ride together and it's probably for the best.