I hear what you are saying
I'm constantly trying to get women into cycling and racing here in northern rural arizona. It seems to be a lot harder when you have a smaller pool of women to draw from. I lead women's rides, offer to give clinics, etc. and there are a couple of other ladies (pro mtn bikers) that lead rides as well.
More than half the time, we only get a couple of people to show for those rides so it gets kind of frustrating. You feel like you are wasting your time! I keep trying tho. I usually try to target the new women riders and I've been pretty successful with getting ladies to ride road bikes, but not too successful in getting ladies to start racing.
There is mostly a big age discrepancy between me (46) and most of the ladies that seem to be, or might be interested in racing in this town. This is a college town and most of the ladies that have some interest in racing are much younger. Sometimes I think since I'm not the greatest climber in the world and they can beat me up hill that I don't have anything to offer them. But, they say they are interested in learning, but they never seem to come out when the opportunity is there for them???
A couple of years ago, I talked the guys who were running one of our clubs into doing a great women's team - same deals that the Cat 3 men were getting from the club PLUS, but I could only get a few older ladies (my age and older) to commit to it and then that fell thru cause the guys who agreed to do that women's team dropped out of the running of the club and I and a couple other people started running the club, putting on a stage race, and 3 other races, etc. so my time to train was nothing and I really never got fit enough that year. I think if I had been able to I could have gotten the 4 other older ladies to get motivated but without me there, they just didn't come thru. The club has a ladies team now, but it is all based out of Tucson down south (we are a regional club, mostly Tucson people and Flag people). Still no one from Flag that wants to commit to the expense and training it takes to race like that!
I really have decided not to road race anymore - just don't have any interest in it anymore so it is even harder to encourage ladies to race when they don't see you out there doing it anymore. Oh, well, I keep trying:)