The SO is new to the trails, how can I help?

Thank you all for the tips, they are super valuable in these noobie times :)

The other day she survived her first crash. Looked bad from my spot, but she's fine, just a few scratches and a bent pedal cage. The helmet did its job and I was so relieved that I insisted she gets it right away.

Thing is, this only happened because she is stubborn - she went down a slope that was new to her and lost control of the bike when she hit the rocky bumps at the bottom. She insists on riding ahead of me because "she can't see the obstacles if I'm in front of her", instead of following my lead and learning that way. I mean, I'm still a noob to proper trail riding myself, but I spent all my life riding bikes, occasionally hitting the trails with my dad who has been racing locally for over a decade so he gave me some useful tips very early on. I think it would benefit her more than she thinks at this stage to try and emulate some of that.

Perhaps you could put together a little skills clinic if your own to help her learn the basics. There are some decent tutorials on the web to help get both of you started. I hear you in terms of watching you from behind, but haven ridden behind my husband a fair amount myself, it's better that I learned to read and watch the trail myself than watch him. If nothing else, go out to the trail and do some session work. Meaning, stop and practice skills on specific, instructive parts of the trail. Have her watch your technique and then have her try it. If she's resistant to learning from you, ask her if she'd be willing to work with another rider. Perhaps you have a friend who could help her.

I love being able to follow the line of a better rider, but there's very few people I trust enough to do that with.

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Originally Posted by brigada

The other day she survived her first crash. Looked bad from my spot, but she's fine, just a few scratches and a bent pedal cage. The helmet did its job and I was so relieved that I insisted she gets it right away.

Thing is, this only happened because she is stubborn - she went down a slope that was new to her and lost control of the bike when she hit the rocky bumps at the bottom. She insists on riding ahead of me because "she can't see the obstacles if I'm in front of her", instead of following my lead and learning that way. I mean, I'm still a noob to proper trail riding myself, but I spent all my life riding bikes, occasionally hitting the trails with my dad who has been racing locally for over a decade so he gave me some useful tips very early on. I think it would benefit her more than she thinks at this stage to try and emulate some of that.

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Wow, glad she's basically okay ... I'm sure she's sore, hope she feels better soon.

Speaking from the POV of someone who doesn't MTB but who learned to ride (street) moto as an adult ... I think there's a place for both leading and following. So very, very much about learning to ride anything on two wheels (or anything at all at speed, no matter how many wheels) has to do with learning where to look and how to keep a wide focus. When following, even a moderately experienced rider can get distracted by the rider ahead to the point of losing focus on anything else. (That's how I T-boned an oncoming minivan in the middle of a tight right-hander ... but I digress.)

The easiest way to learn from someone else's lines is to follow closely, so staying farther back when following isn't that great of a solution. I do tend to agree with thekarens that you need to REALLY trust anyone you're following - not trust them in an abstract sense, but have a gut confidence that their skills are 100% adequate to the task. As indysteel suggested, that can bring out relationship issues ... think of all the taboos surrounding teaching a spouse to drive a motor vehicle.

My husband and I had this conversation several times when I was first learning to mtb. Consistent with Oak's comments, sometimes I would purposely follow him, sometimes I would purposely lead. It can help to follow someone, but IME, it can also become a crutch. It's not a substitute for learning how to pick a line on your own ot how to use the appropriate body position to deal with a given obstacle. Mimicing someone is different from learning how, when and why to use a specific skill or body position. I also think following my husband sometimes made me ride at a pace that was above my skill level and that, in turn, would incite panic if he started to get away from me. So, instead of thinking about the trail, I was fixated on making up that distance. That's not really where you want your head to be as a new rider.

It's not that I don't think following someone has it's place in learning how to ride, but I again think it might be better used in targeted session work than in a regular ride.

I like these points of view, thanks for sharing! I see what you are saying about following in my lines. Since I'm still learning myself, I'm not too comfortable in the position of the tutor, either. I do like what Indysteel suggested regarding specific bits of trail to tackle. I think I can do that, at least with some smaller downhill sections. Perhaps we should start with the slope she lost control on, so that she overcomes any leftover tension quickly? It's really not too bad even for a beginner, so perhaps I could go down it a couple times and then let her try it herself?

In fact, perhaps I could get my dad on board as the resident tutor when he comes to visit. When I was younger, we'd pass the entire xc race trail and I'd follow in his lines. I haven't fallen once so I guess he was doing something right. If not, I guess we can always join some mtb club and ask for a beginner friendly group ride :)

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Originally Posted by brigada

If not, I guess we can always join some mtb club and ask for a beginner friendly group ride :)

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If you are a beginner yourself, this sounds like a really good plan. The last thing. You want to be doing is passing on any potentially bad habits. I always recommend a skills clinic if you have access to any.

Do you have a local club? If so, reach out to them now; you both might benefit. Beyond that, watch some online basic skills videos together. My husband is largely self taught and while he's a good rider, he's not schooled in how to break it down for me. That's why I started with a clinic. I know you may not have something like that in your area, but there may be other local riders or coaches who can help. For that reason, getting plugged into the local community could prove beneficial. Otherwise, access online resources for basic skill building.