Places we consider home & newcomers

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Originally Posted by channlluv

Here's how I knew I'd come to think of San Diego as home. True story:

I remember walking through the Orlando airport one time, going to our departing flight for San Diego, and I was feeling edgy, although I didn't really know why. The people around me seemed nice enough -- lots of families doing the Disney thing, t-shirts and stuffed Mickeys and all. All very normal, blonde-haired, blue-eyed people. Lots and lots of them. I thought maybe they were a family reunion or something. And they were getting on my flight. The more they chattered around me, the edgier I got, only I didn't recognize it at the time.

We get on the plane and take our seats, the blonde family gets on behind my daughter and me -- all of them, and I hear them talking about getting home to Houston, our layover. So they're Texans. Okay. And then behind them, in this sea of blondeness, a young Filipino woman gets on board. She's alone, and as soon as I see her face, I relax. One word flashes in my mind: Home.

She looked like home. All those white people who looked mostly like me were making me nervous with their chatter and just the vibe they put out, but this young Filipino woman calmed me down.

I should point out that I live in an area of San Diego called, sometimes derisively, Manilla Mesa. I love my neighborhood. It's a nice place to live. We've been in this house for over fifteen years and it's the longest I've ever lived anywhere.

Roxy

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Roxy, I grew up in Newark, NJ and adjoining towns there (we moved a lot)
I left NJ when I was 18 and moved to Idaho, where I had horses, goats, chickens, got to run around in the mountains in an old VW, but never ever fit in to that vanilla population.

We moved to Seattle in hopes of getting great jobs and saving money, then we were going to move back to Idaho... It never happened. We put down roots in Seattle. Living in the multi-colored community is where I feel comfortable, just like you in Manilla Mesa.

Where I live used to be called Garlic Gulch, because it was populated by Italians. Sadly, they are all gone, but in their place we have an incredible amount of diversity and culture. on my own little 1 block dead end we have people from every corner of the globe. My good neighbors.

"Home" is how completely one embraces time and place into your being and outlook at times.

My parents immigrated to Canada in their 20's. They are now 82 and 77. They have never been back to China since that time. I am certain during the first decade in Canada they wanted to return but there was no money and plane flights back in the 1950's and early 1960's used to be very expensive.

We offered as gift to buy my parents plane tickets to visit China. They have/continue to have no interest. They have not gone back to visit. China as they knew it best was BEFORE Mao /Communism took root in China. So much has changed. I know they didn't want to go back, because so much has changed it would be unrecognizable and would make them sad.

"Home" is Canada. It is where they have placed their roots for life, where all their children were born and were raised, as well as all their grandchildren. I respect people who come from culturally different countries into a new country and adopt their new home country in a way that it seeps into their being and outlook.

Because I have lived Kitchener-Waterloo, London (Ontario), Toronto, Vancouver and now Calgary, which are in geographically contrasting areas of Canada...I actually feel MORE Canadian as a result. Cycling as a tourist in Eastern Maritime provinces, Quebec and visiting the Arctic (for a short time), complements how I feel, appreciate and understand my home country.

Compared to 20 years ago, I feel as if I have a broader, more diverse understanding of Canada's identity, and key historic-cultural regional differences, as well as climatic differences which I took very much for granted. :)

My thoughts of Calgary now probably reflects my adjustment. I've been here only past 5 months. I sense the city overall as struggling to break free from its prairie paraochial conservatism and the grip of the oil-energy economic influences. It will never break free of the latter since the provinces economy depends on it (and it is Canada's energy producing engine like Texas is).

I personally find artisitic expression that is original in imagery lacking...beyond cowboy images and energy/oil stuff. There is no clear, dynamic artistic sensibility that one can identify..that ie. "yes, that comes from Alberta". The voices on issues of social justice are way more muted, here compared to Toronto and Vancouver. It's obvious what does not get reported in the local press or even how public consultation is conducted where certain groups of people are excluded by language, socio-economic class, etc.

It's not horrible, it's just people are focused on...earning a living, making money, etc.

Interestingly, alot of long-time Calgarians have visited Vancouver and many do enjoy the west coast. You find less people going over to visit Toronto..not just because it's just abit farther away (2 hr. extra plane flight), but psychologically many long-time folks see themselves as part of Western Canada....although Western Canada has different cultural identities. Northwest coast culture /life and politics is different than Alberta.

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Originally Posted by SheFly

Me too! Longest I ever lived in one place, until AFTER college, was 3 years. I have moved over 30 times, and went to 14 schools between kindergarten and the beginning of high school, including stints in BOTH Calgary and Edmonton. I've lived in our current house for 15 years :eek: Maybe it's time to move ;).

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12 schools by the time I graduated from HS for me and it only got worse when I graduated from college and was on my own. I've moved more times than I can count...truly. When I applied for security clearance at my first engineering job, they needed the last 10 years worth of addresses. I swear that was a more complicated research project than my entire master's thesis!! Since I've been married (8 years) I've been a tad more grounded. My husband and I have shared only 7 addresses together. :p

When we traveled to see my parents in FL over the holidays, I could not wait to get back home to Oregon. I love being with my parents, but FL - which as a state was home to me for almost 7 years and where I met my husband - felt completely foriegn to me. It's amazing how one's perspective can change so quickly...

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

My thoughts of Calgary now probably reflects my adjustment. I've been here only past 5 months. I sense the city overall as struggling to break free from its prairie paraochial conservatism and the grip of the oil-energy economic influences. It will never break free of the latter since the provinces economy depends on it (and it is Canada's energy producing engine like Texas is).

I personally find artisitic expression that is original in imagery lacking...beyond cowboy images and energy/oil stuff. There is no clear, dynamic artistic sensibility that one can identify..that ie. "yes, that comes from Alberta". The voices on issues of social justice are way more muted, here compared to Toronto and Vancouver. It's obvious what does not get reported in the local press or even how public consultation is conducted where certain groups of people are excluded by language, socio-economic class, etc.

It's not horrible, it's just people are focused on...earning a living, making money, etc.

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This has been my experience in Edmonton as well. In my case, it also means that if I were to stay there I would probably have to change careers, which I'm not willing to do.

I feel like I made an honest effort to build a life there, but it's been a non-starter for the most part. So it's been a fairly easy decision to begin the process to move back to Seattle.

Interesting channelluv, how you felt on the plane.

I can't even believe I once considered living in the Arctic because I've been interviewed twice for jobs up there. :rolleyes: Like some folks here, I personally know some people face to face who have worked for several years in the Canadian Arctic. Different world..that we don't hear enough about.

Interesting topic, and one I've tried not to think about in a long time. I've lived in Indiana all my life, but outside of the eight years I spent in Bloomington for undergrad and law school, I have never felt at home here. I don't feel much affinity for Indianapolis. While the city has improved in some ways during my lifetime, it's still grossly lacking in some fundamental ways.
It's a city without much soul in my opinion.

Now I live in a small town south of the city. I was born here and moved away when I was two. I don't have any friends here, and I've quite divined how to get them. The town makes Indy look positively liberal, it's so conservative. I honestly don't want to live here, but there's no other workable compromise given our respetive jobs.

I didn't want to move back here after law school, but I took the job that was offered to me, and that was that. I'm not a big risk taker, so the thought of just moving some place new was too much for me at the time. Several jobs, two homes and a husband later, here I still am.

In four years' time, I may be forced to change jobs when my boss retires. That may be the kick in the pants we need to make a change.

My husband and I talk of moving, but he's no more of a risk taker than me, so we can't seem to get past our own inertia. I envy those of you who have found the guts just to pack up.

I spent the first 11 years of my life in California, and the last 14 here in Texas. Now I'm about to move 500 miles west (currently in central Texas) to start a life on my own, with my first "adult" job with a salary and my own health insurance and no more tuition payments twice a year. As excited as I am... I have lived in this town for 7 years and it's my home. Where I went to high school (where my parents still live) is about 90 miles from here and it's not really "home" to me. Here is where I made my transition to pseudo-adult life on my own. And it's really scary to move farther away from my folks and really "start" life and all the adult responsibilities that entails.

And where I am going... who knows if that will end up being home for me or if in a few years I will do something else?

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Originally Posted by indysteel

My husband and I talk of moving, but he's no more of a risk taker than me, so we can't seem to get past our own inertia. I envy those of you who have found the guts just to pack up.

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See, this I think highlights the key factor here. Personality plays such a huge role! I don't think pulling up roots and moving is any big deal. In fact, in many ways to me it feels like a fresh start - and cheating. Leave your mistakes behind and start anew! No need to worry about those friends whom you've grown apart from...no need to worry about a roof that needed replacing. You never get bored, things never get old and change comes in big sweeping occurrances that you control - not slowly over time as you sit there and watch it.

Honestly, I think moving is easier. Staying put takes way more guts from my perspective!

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Originally Posted by GLC1968

See, this I think highlights the key factor here. Personality plays such a huge role! I don't think pulling up roots and moving is any big deal. In fact, in many ways to me it feels like a fresh start - and cheating. Leave your mistakes behind and start anew! No need to worry about those friends whom you've grown apart from...no need to worry about a roof that needed replacing. You never get bored, things never get old and change comes in big sweeping occurrances that you control - not slowly over time as you sit there and watch it.

Honestly, I think moving is easier. Staying put takes way more guts from my perspective!

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That's an interesting point...and come to think of it, I sometimes which I could walk away from a few things and people myself, but the risk aversion side of me usually wins out.

I biggest hurdle has been my job. I had a stint in private practice at a large firm earlier in my career that just went miserably. I was acutely depressed during that perior. From there, I began working for the federal goverment, where I've stayed ever since. I haven't earned what I could have in private practice, but I also haven't starved either. I like my job. I like my boss. The thought of giving up that safety net for an unknown job in an unknown locale terrifies me.

While I do have greater faith in my coping skills and legal abilities, I don't relish the thought of going back into private practice, and the position I have with the feds doesn't come open all that often. Now, I may have no choice in a few years time when my boss retires, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. If I DO get to keep my job, it's entirely likely that I'll stay here until I'm able to retire. That would be the first opportunity to move without sending myself into a nervous breakdown.

If I could find a job in Bloomington or Columbus, Indiana (where DH works as an engineer), I would likely be happier. Bloomington is home to me, and Columbus is a nice city for it's size. Cummins Engine is headquartered there, and the company adds a lot to the city.

I'm another one of those 12 different schools, in 5 different states by the end of high school folks. We weren't military, just nomads. Then, for the next 10 years I moved for school, my residency, and jobs.

I've lived in my little house in the mountains for 15 years now, and had the same job for 15 years. I LOVE IT!! The thought of roaming around the country again makes me ill. I know this is "home" because of the sense of peace I get when I think about this place. My family all lives in the NY/NJ area, but this is home for me, not there.

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Originally Posted by GLC1968

See, this I think highlights the key factor here. Personality plays such a huge role! I don't think pulling up roots and moving is any big deal. In fact, in many ways to me it feels like a fresh start - and cheating. Leave your mistakes behind and start anew! No need to worry about those friends whom you've grown apart from...no need to worry about a roof that needed replacing. You never get bored, things never get old and change comes in big sweeping occurrances that you control - not slowly over time as you sit there and watch it.

Honestly, I think moving is easier. Staying put takes way more guts from my perspective!

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Fifteen years ago (ok 16, but who's counting) I was right there with you. I literally picked up stakes and left everything I knew behind - family, friends, geography, "home" (and my ex-husband which may have been a precipitating factor). I moved from Canada to the US, to a city where I literally knew NO ONE. It was scary. It was refreshing. It was liberating. Did I mention it was scary? ;) Oh - and lonely.

Now, if you asked me to move out of the house I have lived in for 15 of those 16 years, I would laugh you right down the street. Too terrified to try it over again (not to mention that DH wouldn't go anywhere).

I think Jolt hit the nail on the head - having moved SO MUCH early on in my life, the thought of doing it now is foreign to me, and I am much more averse even to the suggestion. I did have an itch about 3-5 years after living in our house, but not anymore.

GLC - I know we're around the same age, but I think I was much more open to pulling up when I was younger than I am now. Instead, I'll live vicariously through you ;).

SheFly

Interesting question about home?! I was born in Missouri (I think of it as Kansas, however, since it was a hospital in Missouri in Kansas City, the state line runs down the middle of town). All of my mother's family and some of my father's are from Kansas. I lived mostly growing up on Ohio. Then I had my wanderlust years when I lived in Idaho, Montana, Florida, Kentucky, Illinois, Florida.

I spent a little less than half of my adult life in California and a little more than half of my adult life in Arizona (mountains). My parents now live in southern Arizona as does my sister.

I'm really not sure where I find my home at. It is now in Arizona, but that could change some day. It could be southern Arizona vs. northern or somewhere completely different; I'm not sure.

My husband and I were having a conversation the other day about where we would want to be buried or scatter ashes. I literally could not come up with a good place. I don't feel like northern AZ is the place since I have no relatives here; southern Arizona is probably where my sister and parents will be interred, but other than them being there, I really don't have any connections to the place.

My husband's step father (who was German born) decided to be buried in a tiny-tiny Missouri cemetery near where his wife was born. She will be buried there as well. Hubby has said that he might want to be buried there since that is where most of his family was situated at one time or another. And, it is a very quiet, peaceful, tiny, tiny cemetery up on a hill, couple of trees and out in the middle of the green nowhere.

I've thought perhaps about being near my grandparents out in the middle of Kansas nowhere, but perhaps we'll end of in Missouri (somewhere I have never ever lived). Kind of strange.

Anyone else ever thought about where you want to rest?

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Originally Posted by spokewench

Anyone else ever thought about where you want to rest?

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Yes. There is a cemetary in our town that we ride through on any of our MTB rides. For that reason, it has special significance to both of us, so we want to "rest" there. Guess it's ironic, since this town is now home. No relatives other than DH here though.

SheFly

One the above topic, see my earlier thread...

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...=Weirdest+Ride

Gosh how this thread meanders its own course.. :p

Haven't a clue where my final resting place will be. I prefer to let life unfold for now.